It's Complicated
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: A/U-taking off from Season 2 of Major Crimes and then into its own world. Life is complicated, really complicated, and sometimes, when we try to "uncomplicate" it, we end up making it more of a mess.
1. Chapter 1

His breathing had even out finally, a sign to her that he was asleep. She knew she really should wait another 15 minutes at least to make sure he was truly asleep, but she'd already been waiting for what felt like forever, and she wanted to go home before she fell asleep herself. A loud snore or almost snort almost made her jump, and then, she had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. He was really snoring, definitely asleep now. Gingerly, she folded back the comforter and tried to gracefully get out of the bed without making any noise or sudden movements. This whole thing felt absurd at her age, yet, she had to smirk, almost exhilarating. Clutching her glasses, because she'd already located those on the nightstand several minutes prior to deciding he was asleep, she stood and tried to tame her hair. It had to look awful; she could feel it going in a thousand directions, but right now, that was the least of her worries. She needed to find her clothing too, but thankfully, that would be easier. She knew were that was-most had been discarded in the hallway, and thankfully, the door to the hallway was still open. Sharon tiptoed toward the door, pausing when the floor creaked in one spot. When he didn't move, she continued, bending down to try and find her undergarments. With the tiny bit of light shining in from the small light that had been left on in the kitchen, she located her things and then moved as quickly as she felt possible out of the room. She did the same in the hallway to find her dress, and after she scooped up her things, she made her way down the hall to the guest bathroom. Thankfully, she'd been given a small tour and knew it was there.

Less than five minutes later, she was as presentable as she could be, thankful at this late hour, presentation didn't matter too much. She just needed to drive home. It was late, but she could handle that. She needed to drive, park, get in an elevator, and then, let herself into her condo. Easy. At least she wasn't tired. No, at least Rusty wasn't home; that was the total blessing in all of this. She'd have to thank Provenza later for keeping him, mindful she could never tell him why she was so thankful.

She knew there was no home security system, just the normal front door locks. She paused and bit her lip again, not wanting to sneak out and leave the deadbolt undone overnight. She was a cop, and even though she did want to sneak out, she wasn't going to leave him that vulnerable. Sharon turned around and surveyed the place. It was a nice, cozy home, not exactly what she'd expected, but it somehow just fit. It was a lot more modern than she had expected; that had been a surprise. Her survey of the house had her pause at the back door. It went out onto a deck, and she knew she'd seen a fence enclosing the yard too. Yes, she could do that. She'd leave a note too so there was no sort of awkwardness, well, there was, but at least this way, she didn't look like a horrible person. She walked to the kitchen and spotted a notepad.

"Thank you for the lovely evening. It was just what I needed. I didn't want to make this more awkward or even problematic in the morning, so I decided to go home. I'll see you in a few hours. Let's just keep this what it was, a lovely evening," and she signed her name. As an afterthought, she added, "I didn't want to leave the deadbolt unlocked, so I am leaving through the back door. Just check it in the morning."

Quickly, she moved the notepad over to the coffee maker. She knew he would need that; she needed some right now. It was then she noticed it was 4:12 in the morning. Sharon shook her head; she hadn't been out this late, other than work, in years, decades really. As she briefly thought about that, she smiled, realizing the almost all-nighter, okay, would be the all-nighter had been well worth it. As she turned back toward the door, she spotted her clutch on the table. She checked it to make sure she had her keys and phone, grateful she hadn't done anything with them; at least they were easy to locate. With her things in hand, she unlocked the back door and slipped out of the house. A quick calculation of time told her she would just have enough time to drive home, shower, and fix herself something to eat before she'd have to head into work. Of course, maybe if she got ahold of her friend, Diane, they could catch breakfast. After everything that had gone on over the last 12 hours or so, she needed to talk, and really, she needed to eat. Yes, she'd text Diane when was home and showered. Diane was an early riser and would certainly be excited to hear about this. Sharon had slept with someone, a one-night-stand, really even if she knew the man well, something Diane and even a couple other friends had been encouraging her to do, and she felt more alive than she had in a very long time.

It didn't take her long to get around to the front of the house. She paused to put her shoes back on her feet. Her heels had started sinking in the grass, and she'd pulled them off in the yard. Now, with shoes back on, she walked to her car. Sharon quickly glanced up and down the street, grateful no one seemed to be watching her walk of shame. The next few moments were almost a blur as she got into the car, started it, and backed out of the driveway. Yes, she'd had her fun, and now, it was time to get back to her "normal" life so to speak. Hopefully, things wouldn't be awkward.

As she drove through the dark streets of LA, Sharon put her head back and rested it against her headrest. She smiled at the memory of the evening before, the much earlier evening before she'd found herself in a man's bed. The wedding had been beautiful, so classy and tasteful. Things had gone smoothly, even though that had been the main concern. She was glad she'd offered to go, even if she possibly had ulterior motives, not that she would ever admit to that. She'd needed the evening, and it seemed to work both ways. Andy had needed the support too; it was what it was. Two friends needed each other for different things, and they'd been able to be there for each other. Oh, it had been a great evening. She sighed and smiled to herself, realizing she would have to school her features before work in now, just a few hours. The evening was over. Mission accomplished on both fronts. Andy's daughter was married, and well, Sharon got what she wanted too. She'd been looking for just the right man and just the right opportunity to have a little fun herself.

"Have a little fling, a one-night-stand," her friend Diane had told her on several occasions. Most of her friends could not understand her reasoning for staying married to Jack. It was in name only, if it was even that. He was long gone from her life, had had not one, not two, probably not even five affairs during their marriage, but she'd still stayed married. It was a joke; she knew that, but for many reasons, she was still married. She'd argued with her friends about that, about staying faithful to Jack, but honestly, in the end, she knew that the legal separation years ago was really the first stop on the way to divorce. She just hadn't wanted to deal with it. Still, her friends had been right. She would feel better; she did feel better after her night of fun. She'd almost forgotten the feeling. Yes, this had happened once before, not with Andy, of course not, but with a friend of Diane's, an orthodontist to be exact. That had been several years ago now, just after Ricky had gone off to college. It hadn't lasted more than a few, five maybe, times, but now, she remembered the freeing feeling she'd felt. She'd thought about divorcing Jack then, but she'd talked herself out of it, telling herself that no man was going to be the reason she got divorced. It hadn't been that with the orthodontist, not romantic at all, just two people needing that release. They'd drifted apart, which was fine. It wasn't like she'd had some spark with him. Since then, life had been life. She'd been busy with work, and it seemed easier to bury herself in work than it did to analyze her personal issues. Sharon would always prefer to untangle other police officer's messy lives than deal with her own.

Recently, Diane, along with two other mutual friends, Wendy and Abby, had encouraged Sharon to get back out there. She'd pushed back, telling them she wasn't going to get divorced and start dating. The three, all friends of hers from the kids' school years, had told her to just find a guy who could provide a fun evening. She'd filed that away in her mind, not sure she would ever act on it, at least until today.

Well, not exactly today, but yesterday, rather, she'd acted on it. Seeing Andy so torn about his own daughter's wedding had struck a nerve with her. She knew he needed to go; he was being stubborn and really, in the wrong, trying to talk himself out of going. Sharon had tried to put herself in Emily's shoes-wondering what her own daughter would think if Jack tried to do something like that. Sharon knew that it would devastate Emily, not to mention, make Sharon want to kill Jack. With all of that, she felt right about gently nudging Andy to go. Offering to be his friend, buffer, okay, really, date, she thought and rolled her eyes, that was the support she knew he needed. Sharon had briefly discussed her plan with Provenza, explaining that one of them needed to go. Knowing Provenza would be horrified at the suggestion of going to the wedding with Andy, she offered up herself as long as he could watch Rusty. The plan had worked perfectly, and she was grateful Andy didn't fight her on the idea either. She knew Andy didn't see it coming, Sharon's plans for the night, but that was fine then. It wasn't like he disagreed with the plan once it was finally set into motion after the wedding. He'd been a more than willing participant.

"I like weddings," she said to herself in the car, grinning as she said it, remembering back to yesterday in her office when she'd told Andy that. She knew then she had almost been blushing, hoping he would accept her invitation to tag along, all the while she was thinking about her plans for the rest of the evening.

Now, as she drove, she realized she was grinning like a fool. She shook her head and let her mind wander back to the evening. Sharon had met Andy at his house because they were already short on time to get to the wedding. Not many worked up until the last minute of their daughter's wedding. Of course, not many considering cancelling on it at the last minute either. So, she had raced home from work, changed into a navy-blue dress perfect for the occasion, and she'd driven to meet up with Andy. Nicole was getting married closer to Andy's house anyway, so it made sense for Sharon to make her way to that part of town. Andy, being the gentleman he was, had driven, and at the wedding, he'd made all the introductions, sticking to their agreement the two were friends. Sharon had felt eyes staring her down throughout the wedding and reception, but she didn't care. She'd been truthful earlier; she did like weddings, and she was having a lovely time. It helped her to get through the evening, too, with the plans she had for later.

It was after midnight before the two were driving back to Andy's house, both quiet after the long, but enjoyable evening. Andy finally broke the silence only a few minutes from his house.

"I can't believe my daughter is married. Wow," he shook his head. "She's married and has a family; she's a mom. She certainly grew up. I've made so many mistakes in my life," he paused and sighed. "I don't even know where to start."

"Hmmm, you didn't make a mistake tonight. The wedding was amazing, yes. She really looked beautiful. The whole wedding was wonderful. I'm glad I was able to see it, more importantly, that you were able to see it," she turned and smiled at him.

"I'm an idiot; I know," he raised his hand in defense. "Once again, you were there to save me from myself. At least I'm learning, and no yelling was involved," he chuckled and looked to her. "Thanks for being such a good friend."

"You're welcome. I am glad I could repay the favor. You've helped me quite a bit with Rusty over the past year with him, "she explained.

"None of that is a favor," he shook his head and frowned. "I know you have custody of him, care for him, but we all do; we all care. Sure, you're putting in the time at home with him, but the whole team sees Rusty as a group effort. Nothing I do with Rusty is a favor. It's just," he waved his hand, trying to find the right word, "just raising Rusty. We are all helping in that department. It's like we, as a team, are like a family. Each person has a particular skillset to offer Rusty."

"I like the way you described that," she smiled back at him. "I only heard from him once tonight, about 11:00. He was settled in at Provenza's place. I'm sure the two ate more junk food tonight than I eat in a month."

Andy chuckled and nodded, "That would be an understatement. I don't know how Provenza eats like he does."

"Neither do I," Sharon shook her head. "I look at a bowl of Rusty's ice cream and put on five pounds."

Andy glanced to her and raised an eyebrow, "Are you kidding? No way that is true. You've got a great figure, Sharon, I mean, Captain," he corrected himself.

She shook her head, disagreeing, and then, feeling a bit awkward, ran her hands down her dress to smooth it, "Andy, Sharon is fine. We are not at work," she teased. "I was certainly glad you didn't introduce me as 'Captain' all evening."

"Thanks," he nodded to her. "I enjoyed the evening with you too. It's nice to see a different side of you, you know, other than just the work side. That's why the team likes to hang out some together. Work is work, but sometimes, it's great to just hang out." Andy pulled into his driveway, and as he did, he glanced at Sharon while he turned off the car. "Can't believe all that planning, all that time-it's over. She's married," he sighed.

"She is," Sharon nodded to herself. "She's going on her honeymoon and will return to start a new chapter, a new life almost."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Say, it feels a bit weird to just send you on your way right now. I know it's late, but would you like a cup of coffee or something?"

"I would," she responded quickly. "I've enjoyed spending time with you too," Sharon reached over and patted his arm. "You looked very distinguished walking her down the aisle in your suit."

"I'm surprised you could see me," he grumbled, looking over to his house. "Still irritated I had to share that with the stepfather."

"It's about what Nicole wants, as you and I discussed earlier," Sharon explained. "You really looked great. You were so proud."

"It's probably the same expression I see on your face when Rusty does something right," Andy chuckled. He gave Sharon a quick glance, and the two broke into a quiet chuckle. Andy then opened his door, "Let's get that coffee." Sharon nodded, and he moved quickly to open her door, where he helped her out of the car. The two walked to the house, Andy in front of her as he dug out his keys. Sharon waited, holding her clutch in her hand.

After they were in the house, Andy moved into the kitchen and turned on a light. Sharon followed and put her clutch on the table. He gestured around, "Home sweet home. I can give you the tour now. Sorry we were rushed before."

"It's very modern," Sharon nodded as she surveyed the house. "Cozy, though, and I like it." Andy flashed a smile at that, and he quickly showed her the small bungalow. When they returned to the kitchen, Andy gestured to the coffee pot.

"Still interested in coffee?" he asked.

Sharon glanced down at her feet and then up at him, her eyes meeting his. She shook her head, "No, not really. I just-," she paused and pursed her lips. She cleared her throat, "You were saying earlier you have made mistakes in your life."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I mean, everyone has, sure, but I just regret so much. There's so much people don't know, and I feel like I carry these dark secrets. I'm not proud of myself, of the man I am. Looking back, I screwed up too many times, ruined too many lives."

Sharon nodded in agreement, "There's a lot I'm not proud to admit about my life. There is," she gave a small shrug. "I'm also trying to not beat myself up about everything. It's too short; life is short, and I am realizing I need to enjoy it more."

"I mean, yeah, sure," Andy gestured with his hand. He rested his elbow on the counter to face her, "It's not about that, the regrets," he paused. "I'm just not the man people think I am, want me to be."

"You need to stop beating yourself up with that kind of talk, Andy," Sharon said, giving him a hopeful smile. "You've worked so hard to get your life together. People notice; I notice." With that, her hand reached for his on the counter. She didn't grab it, but her hand grazed over the top of his. She met his gaze, "I think you are a kind, caring, wonderful person and am glad we have become friends." She met his gaze; she'd been a little flirty, but nothing completely out of sorts at the wedding. They had danced. She had brushed her arm over his. She'd looped her arms through his, and she'd even held his hand during the ceremony, all things a friend would do, but now, she was hoping he was catching on to her ideas for the rest of the evening. "Maybe we discuss that favor, now, I scratch your back, you scratch mine?"

Andy briefly eyed her hand contact, and then, he stood up more, careful not to pull his hand away completely. He shook his head at Sharon, "Is that how a favor works?" he said, a little surprised, but still with a smirk. "As I was telling you earlier, I continue to be amazed by you." When she didn't move her hand away, he moved his, but he moved it to put his hand on hers, their eyes now locked. "I enjoyed having you with me at the wedding, a good friend, a beautiful woman very beautiful," he gave her a nod, "by my side."

She looked directly at him, "This could be a tricky situation, or we could be adults about this and let it just be a satisfying way to end our evening. I can't be here as your boss, and I haven't specifically suggested anything. I just know that well," she said a bit nervous, "from rumors, you have had experience with satisfying evenings such as this."

"Satisfying," he nodded and eyed her, making sure he was understanding her correctly.

"I mean, I hope," she said with a nervous chuckle. "If that's not a possibility," she trailed off.

"No, no, no," he said quickly, his eyes almost sparkling now. "It's possible, I mean, I can totally satisfy an evening; that's no problem. I am just maybe surprised. You have been so upfront about being married, and this is definitely crossing a line."

"I have," Sharon let out her breath and nodded. "I am married in the legal sense, and yet, I still can want this. You and I both know my marriage was over years ago, really decades ago. Legally separated is at least something in my book; it's a step."

"Look," Andy said, glancing to their hands, where they were still piled on each other, "not that I'm complaining about this proposition-quite the opposite, but won't this be awkward? We've come a long way in the last year, but this?"

"I think we are grown adults, mature-age and mind-" she clarified, "and can handle this. My friends keep telling me to get back out there. I've just been looking for the right opportunity, the right man even. I feel I can trust you, at least to keep this between us, and to trust that we will both leave ahhh, satisfied," she nodded and added, "in more ways than one."

"So, umm," Andy changed his stance, shifting, and that pulled him a little closer to Sharon, "what are your intentions?"

"Intentions? I intend to enjoy the night," she told him. "Look, I don't have opportunities for this. Rusty is in my life, and I'm not about to parade strange men, even men I know," she gave him a glance, "in and out of the condo. He's not going anywhere anytime soon. I've had kids in my life most of my adult life. I don't have time to search this out with random men, and I'm not even looking for something that requires a commitment."

"Just tonight?" Andy asked.

Sharon batted her eyes at him and shrugged, "I suppose we could discuss that later."

"Oh," he smirked, "so, like a trial run? Is this a tryout?"

Sharon's eyes widened, "I don't mean it like that, just that we see if things go well. If they do, and if it's not too awkward, maybe we can do this again, sometime when Rusty isn't around. If it's just too strange for us, that we need to just focus on our work relationship, fine. We are still two consenting, mature adults, and we have to work together. If that's a problem, I'll go home now."

"You think you can separate work and a physical relationship?" Andy asked.

"Why not?" Sharon questioned. "You and everyone else at the LAPD has said how cold I can be."

"I didn't mean it like that," Andy looked to her.

"I know," she nodded. "I only mean that yes, I can handle it. I'm not looking for some long, drawn out affair, some huge moments of passion. Right now, I am just looking for one night, and I thought that you, as my friend, might understand."

"Just to be clear," Andy said, as his hand started to run up her arm, "my story is that I came on to you. This is no police matter, no work issue, and I'm guessing it's not against some rule of yours."

"I am completely off the clock and seeing this as two friends enjoying an evening. We attended a wedding, and that is all that has to be said," she nodded.

Andy grinned, and with that, he leaned toward her, tugging her elbow as he did. Their lips met, and briefly, Sharon thought about pulling back, about running away, but the split second she started to think that, his lips crashed into hers, and she instantly found herself kissing him back frantically. Technically, he might have kissed her first, but she definitely found herself quickly lost in him, sure that this was everything she needed out of her evening.

Sharon's memory of the evening had her smiling as she pulled into her parking spot at the condo. Sure, it had been a little awkward at first; they were friends, and this would forever change that. It had, and while the two hadn't yet had to deal with the 'day after' awkwardness, Sharon was confident things would be fine between them. She was satisfied with the evening's events, more than satisfied, she grinned to herself. She glanced at her clock, just after 5:00 AM now, and while she hadn't slept all night, she wasn't tired. She might pay for her indiscretion later in the day when she was ready to crash, but it was so worth it. Before she got out of the car, she sent a quick text to her friend, Diane, "Just getting home for the night. Is there such a thing as a drive of shame? Breakfast at 6:30? Call me, obviously," she sent.

She quickly glanced in her rearview mirror and pulled back in horror. Her makeup was smeared, her hair was disheveled, and she was in desperate need of a shower. Yes, she'd made a good decision to come home. Andy was probably still snoring, and no one needed to see her like this in the light of day. She'd catch up with him later at work, make sure they were okay after their friendship had changed. Maybe, just maybe, if she was feeling gutsy enough, she'd tell Andy that she'd enjoy another evening like that again sometime, just minus the family wedding part.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ahhh, the father of the bride decided to grace us with his presence this morning," Provenza called out to Andy as he walked toward his desk. Provenza was still in his "morning paper mode" with his feet on his desk as he finished his reading. Years ago, Taylor, who had been walking by his desk, had asked him if that was productive time for an LAPD detective, to which Provenza had fired back that it was, with a lengthy explanation of the "clues" he could find in the newspaper related to different cases. Since then, no one had commented on his daily ritual.

"I'm not late," Andy fired back at him as he looked to his watch. "I'm here, normal time, 7:15 for me, even in a good mood," he smirked at Provenza. "Besides, Buzz and Amy aren't even here yet, so don't call me late."

"I'm here," Amy called as she walked in behind him. Andy arrived at his desk and turned on his computer. He looked over to Provenza who now, with Andy there, had no reason to look at his paper anymore; he could torment Andy. Amy put her things on her desk and sat down. She looked around the room. "How was the wedding, Lieutenant?"

"How long has she been here?" Andy, looking at Provenza, hooked his thumb toward his chest, indicating Sharon, but he didn't turn that way or show any sign he was discussing her.

"Beats me," Provenza gave a small shake of the head. "She was already working in her office when I got here at 6:50. I dropped off Rusty at school," he waved, "some chess thing he's doing all day, and I was surprised she was already here too. I haven't wanted to bother her, figuring if she wanted to talk to any of us, she would come out of her office. You two did go to the wedding, didn't you? It would have been just like you to try and back out at the last minute."

"Of course," Andy gestured his hand in the air. "I have tons of pictures of the wedding. Nicole looked beautiful. I'm really glad I went."

"More like, you're glad the captain made you go," Amy raised her eyebrows at him and then turned back to her computer. "I'm glad you went, Lieutenant. Not a cool move to miss your own daughter's wedding; it just wasn't my place to tell you that."

Andy glanced toward Sharon's office, but she was hard at work, focused on what looked like a report she was reading and signing, but her blinds were open, so it couldn't be that bad. He turned back to the team, "Yeah, yeah, I realize I was an idiot. I made it and walked her down the aisle with that moron stepfather of hers."

"Sir, I'm sure your daughter was glad to have you there," Julio offered a small smile and nod.

"Andy, how did the captain do with your family?" Mike asked as he pushed his glasses up on his nose and turned to him. The rest of the team looked to him for that answer, and he just shrugged and gestured to them.

"She was great, the perfect buffer," he added, nodding. "She ticked off my ex-wife, simply for the reason she was there, and Nicole thought it was a surprise, a good surprise, I brought a date, even if," he held up his hands in defense, "it was not a date at all, just a friend helping out a friend. Try explaining that to my family, though," he rolled his eyes.

Provenza raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure Sandra had plenty to say about the captain."

"Oh, she did, believe me," Andy chuckled. "At one point, she pulled me aside and asked how much I was paying the captain to be there with me. Even when I told her we worked together, she figured I was repaying a favor or doing something in return. Whatever," he flashed a grin, one that as he said the last part, about it being a favor, he almost smiled more, but he held himself together. "It was a good time. It should have been," he huffed. "I paid a fortune for it, but last night was worth every penny, all of it, great evening. I had the best time when I thought it was going to be a disaster," he flashed a bigger grin.

"I'm sure your daughter had the wedding of her dreams. Very cool, Lieutenant," Amy gave him a soft smile. "IF, and I mean IF," she enunciated, "I ever get married, I know the cost is all on me. Not cheap," she pointed to him. "I will give you props for paying for her wedding."

"I've been trying to do the right thing with my kids; I can't even tell you how much I want to make things right. I've been realizing over the last year or so just how badly I screwed up everything," he sighed.

"Well, the wedding is over, so can we please get back to work around here?" Provenza asked.

"You're asking me?" Andy said, gesturing to Provenza. "You're the one sitting there reading your paper. I was trying to get to work, but I've had to play 20 Questions with all of you."

"Let's see the pictures Lieutenant," Julio ignored the comments and smiled at Andy. "Come on, I know you have pictures; you said you had pictures."

"Sure," Andy smiled brightly and stood, pulling his phone from his holder. He walked toward the group, and they all moved to crowd around Julio's desk. He started to describe the pictures, pointing out Nicole.

"Flynn, we can figure out Nicole," Provenza waved at him. "I've known her most of her life."

"Ahh, be nice, Lieutenant," Amy shook her head at Provenza. "He's a proud dad today. Let him show us the pictures. Why didn't you go to the wedding, Lieutenant?"

Provenza glared at Amy, "Sykes, the only weddings I go to are my own, or like when the chief got married, weddings I'm forced to attend," he complained. "Besides, someone had to keep an eye on Rusty. I thought I could eat a lot of junk food," he shook his head. "Rusty can put it away."

"She looks beautiful, Sir. Don't tell me the captain managed to avoid the camera," Julio looked over to him, questioning the pictures.

Andy shook his head and started to mess with his phone, "No, I got a few pictures with Sharon," he said and instantly, he felt everyone staring at him. "I mean, the captain, but seriously, guys," he started to chuckle as he looked up at them, "you can't expect that we were at Nic's wedding all evening, and I just called her by her rank, can you? I mean, she has a name. It's just a name. Yeah, Sharon took several of these pictures of Nic and me, and as she was taking them, one of her friends insisted Sharon be in the picture too. I think the friend just assumed there was more going on there, but here she is," he said, swiping to one of the pictures. He handed the phone back to Julio.

"Ahh, she looks gorgeous, as always," Amy rolled her eyes. "How does she do it? She was here all day, that crazy case of ours, and she turns into that. It's like she's her own Cinderella."

Andy chuckled at that, and he nodded, "Yeah, it was impressive."

"Nice date, Andy," Mike grinned at him. "I mean, yeah, I know, she's your boss, but I can see how she'd irritate your ex."

"I love the captain's dress. She looks good in, what is that, dark purple?" Julio asked.

"Yeah," Andy nodded. "It almost looks like a black dress, but it was dark purple. Julio, you really are interested in all of this," Andy chuckled.

"No kid of my own, Sir, and how often does your boss step -up and help like that?" Julio commented.

"Hopefully never again," Provenza grunted and walked back to his desk. "Let's get back to work."

"I'm just going to step in and make sure the captain got home okay," he nodded to the group as he stepped toward her office.

"You didn't take her home?" Amy said, almost horrified as she looked to Andy. "Lieutenant!"

"Calm down, Sykes," he waved as he turned around toward her. "She met me at my house because we were so short on time, and the wedding was closer to my place. It was late, so," he shrugged.

"Get back to work, people," Provenza called from his desk as he pulled out paperwork to sign. "We have a case to file. Flynn, it appears she got home just fine."

"Great," he smirked at Provenza, as he put his hand on her door, "my conversation shouldn't be too long then. Oh, and Provenza," he grinned, "some of the leftover wedding cake is in the break room. I knew you'd want some, all of you," he looked around the room. "Besides," he chuckled, "I paid for it."

Andy knocked and simultaneously opened the door to Sharon's office. He didn't think after everything else that would be a problem, and he could tell from a glance that she was signing paperwork and not on the phone or in some kind of meeting. He stepped in and closed the door as he did so.

"Morning," he said to her, and she looked up from her paperwork. He put his hands on the back of the chair, deciding to stand and not sit. "I just wanted to check in with you."

"Morning," she looked to him, giving him a small smile. Sharon put down her pen and folded her hands on top of her paperwork to look directly at him. It was almost a stance he recognized from the day before when he'd stopped in her office to talk to her about deciding to go to Nic's wedding. He smiled back at her, noting she was wearing one of his favorite tops, a green and black one. The green really pulled out her eyes.

"Listen," he looked down briefly and then back up toward her, "I know it's not really the time or place, but I wanted to clear the air considering we have a full day of work ahead of us. It's not even 8:00, so I'm just going to jump on his now so I can deal with it the rest of the day if there's a problem. Did I do something wrong?"

"I certainly hope not," Sharon said as she held back a small smile. She tried not to smirk at him and continued, "No complaints here."

"Oh, good," he said almost bashfully, and he looked to the ground to chuckle. He shook his head, and without looking up, he commented, "No complaints here either."

Sharon picked up a stack of papers, and he looked as he heard her shuffling them, "Sorry, but the entire team is staring, and I need to look like I'm doing my job."

"Sorry," Andy jerked his head up to look at her. "I mean," he fumbled for his words, "sorry to bring this up now, but as I said, I didn't want any awkwardness or problem this morning. You kind of disappeared on me. I mean, I did see your note, but it doesn't really boost a guy's confidence if the woman takes off while he's sleeping."

As she stacked things in piles, mainly to appear busy, she replied to him, "I realize that, and I hope you know it was nothing personal, I mean, nothing that you did or didn't do. I had a lovely time, but I decided it was best to end our evening. No need to make things more awkward in the morning with the wake up and sleepover issues. I needed to get home to shower and get ready for work. I thought I had plans to meet a friend for breakfast, but those plans fell through, so I just came to work," she gave a small smile. "I also knew that after the stress of the wedding you needed to get some sleep."

"Okay, sure," Andy nodded as he stood up. "My back is killing me," he chuckled at her. "I think I pulled something last night."

"If I played any part in that, I apologize," Sharon paused and looked to him, pursing her lips. "I meant what I said, that I wanted to thank you for a lovely evening. It was just what I needed."

"I determined that while I was shaving this morning," he nodded to her. "That, last night, the end of the night," he eyed her, "didn't just happen. You wanted it to happen."

"You didn't seem to mind," she shrugged slightly and picked up more paperwork to stack. "I explained some of it, but you caught my eye-more ways than one-but mainly seemed like a safe pick for many reasons. I hope you don't mind."

"Feeling used?" he winked to her. "Nah, I mean, not by you, and I'm your guy if you are ever looking for an enjoyable evening again. I'm rather impressed, though, at your boldness. Didn't see that coming."

"I may just take you up on that," Sharon said, opening her drawer. He watched as she pulled out more staples to refill her stapler. "I could be convinced of that if the conditions are favorable. I trust nothing remotely related to our extracurricular activities of the evening was divulged out there?"

"There?" Andy hooked his hand over his should. "Nah, they just wanted wedding info, and I explained that I wanted to make sure you got home safely, as I do want to make sure-you did get home safely, right? I get why you left, but you know that you could have stayed. It's not my intention to send any woman home in the middle of the night like that."

Sharon briefly raised her eyebrow at him, and then, she looked back to her stapler, "Thanks, but I got home just fine. Unlike other women who may have graced your bed, I am a police officer."

"I only meant-" he started to say, but she shook her head.

"It's fine. I wasn't trying to snap at you or judge you. Part of why you seemed like a good choice is that I knew you would have some experience in this area, dealing with this for what it was and nothing more. Your life is yours, just as mine is mine. We had a good time together last night, and that is no one's business, just as whatever you do with other women is no one's business, including mine."

"Did you sleep at all? Provenza said you were here before he was," Andy asked her.

"No, but I'll manage," she shrugged slightly. "I've had plenty of sleepless nights," she said, stressing her words. "Last night,' she shuffled a few papers and looked to him, "was my kind of sleepless night, one I haven't had in a very, very long time, and as I said, could be a possibility in the future."

Andy nodded and chuckled lightly as he looked toward his shoes, "So, we're good."

"Yes, we seemed to be compatible," she fired back at him, not with the answer he'd expected, but he looked to her and smirked.

"Nice working with you Captain," he flashed a grin and a wink. "I'm going to get back to work. So-" he left it hanging there for him.

"So," she said drawing out the word, "I will be in touch if the stars ever align for another such evening."

"Looking forward to it," he grinned and opened her door. For the team's sake, he said, "Sure, happy to help Captain."


	3. Chapter 3

It was a week later when Andy tried to hold back a grin as he spotted Sharon in the break room making a cup of tea. He opened the door, a similar idea in mind, and when she looked toward him, he gestured to her, "Great minds think alike."

"Hmm," she nodded. "I needed a little pick-me-up. I'm drowning in paperwork."

"Whatever you do, don't have any brownies," he chuckled, referring to their current case where they'd discovered the residents of a self-made retirement community had used brownies to kill the new owner. Sharon stood at the counter, dipping her tea bag and smiled. As Andy walked behind her to the coffee pot, she causally turned her head to speak quietly to him.

"Lieutenant Provenza stopped me in the hall earlier and wants to spend some time with Rusty when we finish this case. Rusty is having a rough time with Chris-friendships of all kinds, really," she shrugged. "Perhaps we could make some plans for that evening, whatever evening the lieutenant takes Rusty out for dinner."

Andy's eyebrows perked up, and he nodded to her as he reached for a cup of coffee. Sharon turned back to her tea, content that she'd put the idea on the table. To anyone walking by, the two were doing their own things, taking an afternoon coffee break, but each was being very careful to not appear to be interested in the other.

"I'd like that; I'd like that very much," Andy said to her as he poured his cup. He briefly glanced to her and find her looking at him, casually, as she continued to prepare her tea. "I'm guessing this would be a spur of the moment decision?"

"Well," she paused, "this case should be finalized tomorrow, the day after at the latest when they can get before the judge. If that holds, we can finish the paperwork here in the office, and I believe Lieutenant Provenza will then take Rusty out for the evening. He's done this before, and whenever he's on his way home with Rusty, he always sends me a message. It should give us enough time to, to," she gestured in the air with her hand, but he finished for her.

"Have sex?" Andy said flatly and eyed her from his stance. He added a little cream to his coffee, and he let Sharon compose herself while he put the creamer back into the refrigerator.

"Yes," she shrugged. "I suppose that's the bottom line."

"Works for me," he said nonchalantly. "Your place, I presume?"

"Yes," she almost stammered. "You know the address, correct?"

"Yup," he said quickly and nodded. "Need me to do anything?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Show up, and if it's anything like the last time, I think we will be fine."

"So, it was just fine?" he smirked, now he turned toward her. He leaned back against the counter and sipped on his coffee. She was still turned away from him, both facing the door, as she leaned against the front counter. She sighed loudly.

"You know what I mean. Just bring yourself. This isn't some date; we aren't going anywhere," she told him.

"Okay, okay," he said, crossing his legs in front of him as he leaned back even further on the counter. He sipped his coffee again, "I mean, I was mainly asking to see if you wanted me to bring wine or dinner or anything."

"No," Sharon pursed her lips and shook her head. "I think we can do without any of that. Besides," she gestured with her hand, "we don't have a lot of time."

"Ahh, so you're prepared for a marathon at a sprinter's pace," he grinned and winked to her when she snapped her head in his direction. Her cheeks turned red.

"No, let's just focus on each of us having an enjoyable time with the time allotted. Remind me to thank your best friend for the evening off," she said as she picked up her cup to leave the room.

"Oh, if I could tell him how much I appreciate his help," he chuckled loudly. "He'd probably have a heart attack."

Sharon rolled her eyes at him, cupping her tea, "Nothing to Lieutenant Provenza."

"On my word," he raised a hand. "I mean, though, it is funny thinking that I could be like, 'Hey, Provenza, thanks for taking the kid out for the evening so I could sneak around and sleep with Sharon' right, he'd die," he chuckled.

Sharon sighed and started to the door, leaving Andy there to drink his coffee, "I'll get back to you with the details, Lieutenant," she said just loudly enough for him to hear her. He held up his cup in an almost 'cheers' to her.

"Looking forward to it, Captain," he nodded. With that, she opened the door and walked down the hall, cool and collected, not a glance back toward him.

Two nights later on a Wednesday evening, Andy stood outside her door, a bit nervous and paused before he knocked on it. She'd sent him a text earlier, not even a half hour earlier, saying that Rusty had left with Provenza. Andy was in the area; he had been waiting for that text. Sharon had told the team the evening before that they would plan to wrap the case the next afternoon. With that, later, as she walked by her desk toward her own office, she raised her eyebrows at Andy in question, and he responded with a simple nod. Now, here, he was, ready for the evening. He hadn't gone home. He'd left work before she had, hoping to catch an earlier meeting than he normally attended. He usually went on Thursday evenings, but his ex had started to schedule some family counseling on Thursdays, fully aware of his meeting schedule, but that was Sandra. So, he'd been trying to catch meetings other times, and here he was, fresh from his meeting. Before he knocked, he remembered he'd put a breath spray in his pocket. He fumbled and finally dug it out, giving his mouth a quick minty taste before he schooled his features and knocked on the door, hoping he looked calm.

Sharon opened the door quickly, almost like she was on the other side of it waiting for him. He stood there, speechless and had to shake his head to bring himself out of his stupor.

"Well, hello," he said in a low tone. He raised an eyebrow to her, "That is certainly a way to greet someone. What if I hadn't been the guy at the door?"

"Don't flatter yourself," she rolled her eyes, gesturing for him to enter the condo. The sleeve of her black robe hung down as she raised her hand in gesture. He couldn't stop staring. She had on a very simple, yet elegant-looking black nightgown. He smirked at her.

"I like your nightgown, definitely a better look than anything you've worn at work," he grinned.

She sighed loudly and brushed her hair from her face. Andy noted she had it brushed out, and while it was hanging around her shoulders like at work, it just looked different. Perhaps he was just dumbfounded at finding her in lingerie at the door. Sharon looked at him until he snapped his head to her gaze, realizing he was staring.

"It's not a nightgown; it's called a chemise," she said, closing it.

"New, just for me?" he flashed a grin.

"Hardly," she rolled her eyes and walked further into the condo. He stood where he was, not sure where she wanted him to go. "I've never worn it, but it's not new; I've just not had the opportunity or situation," she explained, gesturing with her hands in the air. "I decided this was better than my work suit to start the evening."

"Well, it's very sexy, sets the mood well, and yeah, much easier to ahh, untangle," he nodded at his choice of words, "better than your suit most definitely," he smirked. "Oh, I brought this," he held up a bag. She narrowed her gaze at him and shook her head.

"I told you not to bring anything," she sighed. "This is nothing more-" she was cut off by him.

"Sex, yeah, I got it," he nodded and shrugged. "Still, after our latest case, I thought this would be well, perfect," he grinned. Andy opened the bag, and he pulled out what looked like a cd or DVD. "First, I brought this, a copy of the music from work. I know how much you enjoyed listening to the special agent sing "Time of my Life," he smirked.

"That was horrible!" Sharon exclaimed and looked to him horrified, yet she seemed to relax slightly. "You copied that?" She shook her head and made a face; the team had already had to endure listening to that during the case, and it had been so bad, no one had wanted to listen to it again.

"Oh, I did," he held up between his fingers. He moved by her, running his hand very lightly along almost her waistline as he walked and put it on the coffee table by her couch. "Want to watch it again?" She just turned toward him now as he stood in the living room.

"Absolutely not," she shook her head. "That's not funny."

He gave her a playful shrug, "Okay, just thought we could get a good laugh. I hope you like my other gift better."

"No gifts," she gestured her hands in front of her. "Andy, this is nothing, just two people."

"Relax," he said, digging in the bag again. "That case had me thinking about brownies, so I stopped at the grocery store on the way and picked up a couple." He pulled out two brownies from the bag and grinned at her, "These do not have any nuts or other potential things that could kill us. I thought maybe after we finished, we could enjoy them, you know, work up an appetite?"

Sharon narrowed her gaze again, "This is not some date."

"Fine," he shrugged and put the brownies in the bag. "I'll just take these home."

"I didn't say I wouldn't eat one," she said, snatching the bag from him. He grinned and nodded to her while she opened the bag to look inside.

"Feisty-I like it," he winked. "You like brownies, noted. I do too."

Sharon scowled loudly at him and crossed her arms over her robe. She stood there, and both felt an awkward silence settle between them. Andy finally broke the silence.

"So, ahh, how do you want to do this?" Andy eyed her and put his hands in his pocket.

Sharon, still clutching the brownie bag, opened it again, almost as if the brownies had disappeared and glanced into it as she answered in a nonchalant tone, "I thought you were some expert. I didn't seem to need to spell it out for you last time."

Andy chuckled and dropped his head, "You are really feisty, in a good mood too. I like this side of you, all sides of you, if I'm being honest," he nodded to her and gave her a seductive grin. "You know what I'm asking. We get along great at work, Sharon, and I think we've been getting closer, I mean, aside from the obvious here, like closer as friends," he gestured toward her. "It feels awkward, but at the same time it doesn't. I don't think either of us want to lose the friendship, I believe we've built, over anything physical. Do you?"

Sharon's eyes met his, and she silently just reached toward him, her finger just barely long enough to touch his belt, but she was able to just get a small grip on it, and that was enough to gesture for him to move closer. Her finger moved to his side and found his hand where she loosely grasped it.

She looked right into his eyes, her eyes almost sparkling, "We have a couple of hours as best as I can calculate. Lieutenant Provenza always sends me a text when he's on his way with Rusty. Rusty still forgets to check in with me; that's still a concept he hasn't accepted, that people care about him. So, we have time." She eyed him, and the two just stood there, looking at each other. Finally, she said, "Come with me. I am thinking the next hour or two could be the highlight of the day," she nodded toward her room.

"Oh," Andy flashed a bright smile as he followed her, his hand loosely clasped in hers while he toed off his shoes as they walked. He continued, "I might say you were pretty sure of yourself, but since we've now already been down this road, I can say I have no doubt it WILL be the best two hours of my day."

Sharon started to laugh, and the two could both be heard laughing as she pulled him into her room, closed the door, and switched off the light.

Later in the evening, after all of the laughter had subsided, the two found themselves lying in a quiet, dark bedroom. Neither had said anything for the last several minutes. Andy had retreated to one side of the bed and Sharon to the other. The lights from the city were casting just enough light into the room to make out each other's form, but not enough light to clearly see the other. Andy finally coughed and cleared his voice.

"Wow, that was great," he finally said quietly. "Thanks for that, this evening."

"Sure," Sharon said in a matter of fact tone, and he felt the comforter shift as he could tell she pulled it tighter around her. "Thank you for coming over here."

"Does this feel awkward?" Andy asked.

Sharon didn't answer immediately, but she sighed and then did, "No, I mean, it does maybe a little, but we are friends, and we both got what we wanted. I think we can handle this. You?"

"I mean, it is a little awkward," he admitted. "Other women," he paused, trying to decide if he wanted to bring up other women when he was lying in bed next to a woman right now. He decided to continue, "Other women, I guess I realize I'm probably not going to see them again. We have gone out, had a good time, ended up at my place, and that's about it. They know it; I know it. With you, it's like the opposite."

"We've made it clear it's not a date or anything," Sharon said.

"I get it," Andy added. "I'm okay with that. I guess what is weird, though, is that I still enjoy hanging out with you. Is that weird? Like if you said you wanted to get lunch tomorrow at work, I'd be good with that, and it's like I feel I can compartmentalize that versus this."

"I think that is the right idea, the right term even, compartmentalize," she agreed. "We put this away until another time. It's like we checked a box."

"Wow," Andy quietly chuckled, "that great, huh?"

"You know what I mean," Sharon said, raising her hand in the air as she gestured. Both were lying on their backs, not touching, but in the dim light, he could see her raise her arm. "This is how we spent our evening. We go home, we get up, we go to work, and we carry on. I enjoy our friendship very much, whether we have a cup of tea in the break room, grab a bite to eat during a case, or if we end up here like tonight, but that doesn't mean any of it has to be more than it is."

"I think we agree on that, saying the same thing. I just wanted to make sure you weren't feeling awkward," he told her.

Sharon shifted and turned to him, propping her head on her elbow. He turned his head to look at her, and he could see her hair falling around her face, "It maybe felt awkward the first time, maybe a little this time, but I think that feeling will die off as we go forward."

"So," he flashed a grin, "you want this to happen again? I mean, I'm game. This was a great evening, much better than watching a baseball game at home with Provenza stopping by."

She wrinkled her nose, "Please do not mention Provenza's name while we are lying in my bed."

"Noted," he chuckled. "Mood killer."

"Yes, this seems to be working for me, you?" Sharon asked. "It's a little tricky with Rusty's schedule, and there is no sort of set plan we can have, but when the time presents?"

"I'm your guy," Andy said. "So, I mean, should I go? I'd really love to hop in the shower before I go if you don't mind. I'm not opposed-you can join me if that's something you'd like."

"Yes, you may use the shower, but let's just keep our little situation in a bedroom, okay?" Sharon asked him.

"Sure, that's fine. I want this to be whatever you want. I'm happy to be here. Are you always a light off kind of person?" Andy asked.

"Does it bother you?" Sharon asked. "There is some light from the city coming in through the window."

"I guess it doesn't bother me, but from what I can tell, you have nothing to hide," he told her.

"Maybe it's more about the awkwardness," Sharon said to him. "Maybe I feel it's less awkward if the lights are off for us."

"Okay," he said as he thought about it. "I'm good with that, and yeah, maybe I see your point. So, shower?"

"The door there," Sharon pointed up toward the window, "leads into my bathroom. Rusty and I share it, but you are welcome to use it now. Go ahead and get cleaned up; I'm going to tidy up in here."

"I can help," he offered.

"No, it's fine. It's maybe less awkward if we each have our own time," she suggested.

"How about that brownie when I'm done?" Andy grinned as he looked at her again. "I just realized I never see you without your glasses. That's what is different."

"Glasses don't really fit the mood," Sharon told him.

"That's what was different, not your hair," Andy raised his finger in the air, almost pointing. "You look good either way."

"Well, I need to find them now. I can't remember where I put them, maybe on my dresser, but feel free to shower. I have fresh towels folded in there on the shelf," she told him.

"Sounds good," he said, rolling toward her. She pulled back slightly, not sure of his plan. He leaned over her, just almost teasing her like she wasn't sure if he was going to kiss her or not. He rolled and moved so he was now looking down at her, and quickly, before he climbed off the bed, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "This was a great idea you had," he grinned. "Thanks for including me." He ran his hand over the top of the comforter, where her hand was resting as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Sharon waited until he was inside the bathroom before she got up to find her glasses and tidy up the room.

While Andy was in the shower, Sharon moved quickly around the room. She stripped her bed and put her sheets in the wash, wanting to have everything back in order before Rusty came home from his evening. Doing that, she almost tripped over Andy's shoes, which were right there in the hallway. As she was making up her bed again, her phone alerted her to a text. She knew it was probably Provenza and thanked herself for the good timing.

"Captain forgot to text you when we left dinner. We just pulled into your building. Rusty is walking into the building now and should be up in a few minutes," he told her.

Sharon knew her face went white, and she flew into a panicked rage, running to the bathroom and throwing open the door, "Andy, you have to go NOW!" Sharon yelled, and Andy, who couldn't hear her well over the sound of the water, turned to her. He opened the shower door and looked over to her. Sharon had thrown her robe on without anything else, and he grinned at the sight of the robe hanging open there, unaware of the urgent problem.

"Change your mind about the whole light thing and shower?" he nodded to her.

"Rusty is on his way upstairs. The elevator is slow, but he will be here any second. You have to go now!" Sharon yelled, and Andy, as the words registered with him, his face went pale as well. He quickly turned off the water and stepped out. Sharon grabbed a towel and started to gesture to the door. "You have to go. He cannot see you here."

"I'm trying!" Andy said, now flustered. He started moving through the room, dripping all over the floor. Sharon was ahead of him, grabbing his things as she saw them. Luckily, he had put his keys in his pocket, and they were still there. She grabbed his phone, his shoes, and he followed behind, trying to dry off. She picked up his clothing, where she'd already gathered it and put it on the end of the bed. Andy moved to the front door, still the towel only around him, still dripping wet. As Sharon thrust his clothing at him, she checked the peephole. Andy threw on his undershirt, boxers, and pants, while she still held the rest of his things-his dress shirt and socks and then took his towel. "There's no time for you to finish. You'll have to do that out of the condo."

"Fine, fine," he said, grabbing his shoes, socks, shirt, and phone from her. She still had a panicked expression as she opened the door. Sharon leaned her head out to make sure she didn't hear the elevator.

"Go," she urged him, gesturing with his hands. Before he did, he smiled at her.

"Thanks again," he said.

"Bye," she said, and without thinking, leaned up and planted a very quick kiss to his lips, no sort of warmth or fire behind it, but just a parting kiss. Andy nodded and started down the hall, his shirt, socks, and shoes in his arms. "NO!" Sharon yelled in a very loud whisper. Andy spun around, and Sharon was there gesturing wildly toward the other way. "You can't take the elevator! He'll see you." Andy looked back to the elevator and then back to Sharon. He had his pants on, but they weren't even zipped up, and his belt was just hanging there, not done either.

"Where am I supposed to go?" he hissed.

"Take the stairs!" Sharon said. "He'll see you at the elevator," she gestured wildly to the stairs. "It's that or we tie sheets and slide down from the balcony! We aren't about to do that! Go!" she gestured again, and Andy sighed and nodded, turning to the stairs. He was then out of sight. Sharon closed the door and took a deep breath, closing her robe even tighter. Then, she panicked; Rusty could not see her in just her robe. She was a mess from earlier. Her hair was unsightly, and she needed to disappear quickly. She ran to the bathroom, catching herself as she almost slipped on the wet tile. She really wanted to take a hot shower, but she couldn't do that before Rusty got home. Instead, she turned on the water and closed the bathroom door. Less than a minute later, she heard a knock at the door.

"Sharon, I'm home," Rusty called to her.

"Be out soon, Rusty," Sharon yelled, still standing there at the bathroom sink. She looked in the mirror and let out a deep breath. She knew her room was still somewhat of a wreck. Thankfully, she'd at least put fresh sheets on the bed, even if she hadn't fully made the bed. She chuckled quietly as she looked in the mirror, and then, she turned to the shower. She'd deal with Rusty in a few minutes. Now, she needed to recover from her almost thwarted evening plans.

15 minutes later, Sharon found Rusty in the living room watching television. She was back in her standard evening attire, ready for bed, in leggings and an old, long t-shirt. Her hair was wet, but nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

"Rusty, how was your evening with Lieutenant Provenza?" she asked, pausing there by the couch to talk to him. She crossed her arms, and he turned toward her.

"Hey, Sharon," he smiled up at her. "We had a good dinner, burgers," he flashed a smile. "Sorry I forgot to text you again."

"Oh, right," she said, her face almost going into a panicked state again. "Lieutenant Provenza did, but I didn't reply. Let me get my phone," she said, disappearing around the corner to the bedroom. Rusty called out to her as she was returning.

"Hey, Sharon, what's the story with the brownies here? Can I have one? " he asked.

Sharon froze, now there right by her desk as Rusty looked in the bag. He looked up at Sharon.

"Sorry, but the bag was sitting here, kinda in the way. I saw it was from the grocery store. You got brownies?" he grinned. "You never get brownies. That a movie too?" he pointed to the cd Andy had brought with him. While she wanted to panic, she took a quick breath and kept her cool.

"Hmm," she gave a small shrug. "I know you've been having a rough time at school. I was even thinking you and Chris could share those after school. She's been a good friend to you. That cd is for work, something with this last case."

He frowned, "I'm not sure we can stay friends. I mean, you know, she doesn't need to be part of my mess, so you can keep the brownies, Sharon," he said, sitting back and crossing his arms. Sharon sighed and took a deep breath as she moved to sit by him on the couch. She reached for the bag and eyed Rusty.

"I think maybe we should share the brownies, hmm? Maybe we just enjoy these few minutes together and sit here with these," she nodded to him, almost encouraging him to take one from her.

He eyed her and shook his head, "You never let me eat here on the couch."

"True," Sharon nodded. "Let's get a glass of milk for each of us, and we can have these as a late-night snack."

Rusty continued to almost glare at her, "Are you okay? Is this some trap? Do you need to tell me something?"

"No, Rusty," she said, ruffling his hair. "I just think that tonight we indulge. It's good to do that every now and then, to enjoy life."

"Ahhh," he grinned and pointed at her, "you've been cleaning. I heard the washing machine going, which is weird for you this late at night. You've been cleaning and must have let the toxic fumes cloud your judgement."

"You rotten child," she sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, we don't have to eat the little treat," she shrugged, silently grateful he hadn't asked about the particulars of the laundry she had going.

"I'll eat with you," he grinned. "Tell you what-I need to use the bathroom, so if you get the milk ready, I'll be right back."

"Deal," she nodded, and both stood. She watched Rusty walk down the hall and sent off a quick text to Provenza to thank him for the evening.

"Oh geez!" Sharon heard Rusty yell, and she looked up. Before she could say anything, he yelled, "Sharon is something leaking? The floor is soaked!"

"Sorry, Rusty," she yelled back, groaning to herself for not cleaning up all the water from Andy. He'd dripped everywhere, and she had meant to do that after her own shower. She was just out of sorts from almost being caught that she had hurried through her own bathroom routine. Thinking of Andy, she pulled up his name to check on him.

"Sorry about tonight. I hope you got home okay. See you tomorrow," she told him.

"Not sure if I'm irritated more about taking 11 flights of stairs or missing out on my brownie, but the rest of the evening was great. Lost a sock somewhere along the way, so if you see it, you know the owner. Again soon?" he asked.

"As soon as the schedule allows," she replied. She put her phone down and started to the kitchen to pour the milk. Close call, but as she grinned and thought about the evening, she decided it had been well worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

They were wrapping up a case a week later when Andy knocked on Sharon's office door as he opened it. She was beginning to get used to his pattern; others waited for her to answer, but he definitely had grown more comfortable with just walking in as he knocked.

"Hey," he gave her a smile as he closed the door. She looked up and saw the rest of the team working on various projects. He had a stack of paperwork, and she figured he had volunteered to bring it to her.

"Hi," she smiled back at him, as she nodded to the paperwork. "Mine?"

"All yours," he flashed a smile and handed it to her. As he did, he pulled up a chair to sit down for a moment. He crossed his leg loosely and sat back in the chair where he hung his head back and closed his eyes. "Long day."

"Yes, very," she agreed, sighing as she sat back in her chair and folded her arms over her stomach. "I'm free tonight; I know it's last minute," she said, leaving that hanging in the air. She sat there, waiting for him to open his eyes and acknowledge her.

He did, rather quickly, as he lifted his head and opened his eyes, "You have no idea how much I hate telling you I'm busy."

"Hot date?" she teased, chuckling. To anyone, it looked like the two were enjoying a small break during the day.

"No, opposite," he said. "Counseling. I guess it hasn't been that bad lately. Family counseling with the kids."

"Oh, well, that definitely is more important," Sharon nodded and pursed her lips.

"Definitely not as enjoyable as your suggestion," he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Sorry I can't step up to the plate for you."

"Another time," she said nonchalantly and gave a little shrug. "I will tell you, my small admission, though, is that it's been a long time, and now that we've worked out our deal, I find myself almost-"

"Craving it?" Andy grinned, flashing a huge smile at her. "You can pump up my ego anytime."

Sharon narrowed her gaze at him, "Here, I thought I could just be a little honest."

"You can," he gestured and gave her a half smile. "Thanks for telling me. It's been nice to almost be with someone consistently. It's working for me too. It's not starting to feel so awkward here at work too. I mean, you know, watching you walk around the office, knowing I've slept with you a handful of times now," he eyed her, "it doesn't feel so weird."

"Me too," she said, drawing out her word in a longer sigh. "Still, I would be lying if I didn't admit to being anxious about when we can do this again."

"I'm free tomorrow night," he perked up. "Friday night-you free?"

"No," she frowned. "I have to go to this chess tournament for Rusty at school."

"On a Friday night?" he made a face. "Sorry, I know the kid has found something he enjoys, and that's a good thing."

"Yes, it's on a Friday night. I'm very glad he's found a group, chess, somewhere he is comfortable. It's almost an entire weekend of chess. There's a tournament tomorrow evening, and then, Saturday, he is going to something with his chess club at the community college."

"You want some company tomorrow? I'm not thrilled at the idea of chess, at least watching it, but I'll hang out with you. I know there's nothing going on, no ulterior motive with my offer, but I'll sit there with you and endure the pain," he chuckled.

"You don't have to do that," she waved at him.

"Sharon, we're friends, right?" Andy eyed her. She nodded and rolled her eyes. "Have I done that before?"

"You have," she said quietly, looking at her shirt and not at him.

"I'll come then. Maybe we can take the kid out for pizza when he's done. It's not a big deal. We're friends; Rusty likes me-okay, at least knows me," Andy rolled his eyes. "If we can't participate in our extracurricular activities, we can enjoy Rusty's."

She made a face and shook her head, "Please, don't ever compare what we've been doing to Rusty. That just, no," she shook her head.

"Oh, I keep forgetting to tell you, thanks for putting my lost sock in my desk drawer," he smirked. "I opened the drawer the other day, and there it was."

She tried to hide her smile, but she gave him a small shrug, "I walked off the elevator the other day on my floor, and someone had put it on the small hall table there. I was just glad I was alone and not with Rusty to have any sort of conversation about that."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Still can't believe I had to take 11 flights of stairs."

"I'll make it up to you," she said, trying to eye him, but still aware others were around. "When, I'm not sure; we'll figure out a time."

"I'll hold you to it," he nodded as he stood. "I was hoping our little extracurricular activities were going to become our little reward for finishing cases, the prize at the end of the murder tunnel," he winked as he stood. "Sorry I can't accommodate you tonight."

"It's fine," she waved. "I have a couple of friends I need to catch up with, so maybe I will see if they are free. Please tell the team to finish up and go home for the day."

"Will do, but don't stay here all evening, Captain," he said as he reached for the door. "You know what they say about all work and no play, right?"

"Are you suggesting what we have is a playdate?" she enunciated and propped her chin on her wrist like she was almost staring at him.

He dropped his head, trying not to laugh as he opened the door, "Works for me," he winked and turned toward his desk, closing the door. Sharon briefly watched as he sat, and then, she turned back to her work. She'd really been hoping he was free tonight. Sharon wasn't kidding when she told him she was now almost craving their time together. They'd find a time that worked, sooner, hopefully; yes, it would have to be sooner than later. She nodded to herself. This was working out just fine. They were doing well at work, and now, he'd even offered to endure Rusty's extremely boring chess tournament with her tomorrow evening. She enjoyed his company, even if they weren't sleeping together, so, yes, Friday evening was already looking better and better. It was time to get back to work. She turned to her new stack of paperwork, but before she got started with it, she looked over to her calendar, intent on finding a day and time to be with Andy again.

The next evening the two didn't have a lot of time to really chat with the chess tournament in progress. Unlike sporting events, where the crowd could get loud, chess tournaments were often silent. The two sat side by side and watched as Rusty won his first two matches. He had a break during the third round, and they stepped into the hallway to take a break themselves.

"Kid has really come a long way," Andy said to Sharon as she stood up against the wall and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

"I suppose the only silver lining tonight is that I'm so exhausted that I'm not sure I would have been good company for you," she sighed.

"You're great company," he said, standing in front of her, leaning toward her slightly as he lowered his voice. She opened one eye and held back a smirk.

"You know what I mean," she nodded to him.

He grinned, "I certainly do. I can't stop thinking about it. Sorry you are so exhausted tonight. Still want to take Rusty for pizza when he's done?"

"Hmm, that's what is keeping me going right now. I have been craving pizza all day," she opened both eyes and looked at him again, "among other things." He had moved and was next to her now, leaning against the wall too. She nodded at a few parents who walked by and looked over at him. "I don't want to keep you, though. If you need to get going, I have my own car here."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to pizza," he grinned at her. "You aren't the only one craving things."

Sharon gave him a half smile, her eyes sparkling. She changed topics, "How was your counseling session?"

He opened his mouth to speak, paused, and then, he nodded, "Better than I thought. Sandra decided to show up, and I thought that had disaster written all over it. It actually was ok."

Sharon raised an eyebrow, "Really? Sandra came with the kids-grown kids-and it was okay?"

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "It went okay, fine, honestly," he told her. Sharon hummed, and the two stood there in a comfortable silence.

"You have to watch this all day tomorrow too?" Andy finally said as they simultaneously started to move and head back to the match. Sharon looked over at him, an almost puzzled look.

"No, I'm just dropping him off in the morning. He's going to be with his club group all day. I believe they are even getting lunch together at the community college," she explained.

Andy stopped walked and spun around to her, "Wait, why didn't we figure this out before? You're free in the morning, right?"

She looked to him, slightly puzzled and nodded, "Yes," she said, drawing out the word.

"I'm free too," he grinned proudly. He gestured toward her, "Just come over to my place. No one will bother us, and we can take our time."

"Take our time?" Sharon raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know, just not have to run out half dressed and dripping wet this time," he chuckled and shook his head. "I'm never going to let you forget that."

As Sharon was coming to terms with the idea, she started to nod and shake her head in agreement, "Why hadn't we thought of the morning? That's perfect. I've been so stuck on coming over in the evenings."

"Exactly," he grinned and nodded to her. "It's our Saturday workout plan."

Sharon groaned and shook her head, "Let's stop with the corny labels."

"You good with it?" Andy eyed her.

The two looked toward the tournament. Another match was ending, and then, she smiled brightly at him, "Perfect. It's how I'm going to get through the next round of his tournament, thinking about tomorrow."

"Me too," he flashed a grin. "I'm trying to think of a way to pay you back from the shower incident."

She eyed him, "I apologized for that."

"I know," he chuckled. "I'll figure out a way you can repay me. After you," he said, opening the door for her so they could watch Rusty finish his tournament.

Sharon thought about her evening with Rusty and Andy as she drove to his place the next morning. The trio had enjoyed their night out for pizza, Rusty going on and on about his second-place finish in the tournament. He was thrilled with his finish and had spent most of dinner discussing his strategies and thanking them for coming. While it had been a short night for Sharon and Rusty, both had gotten up in good moods, obviously for different reasons, and now, as Sharon pulled into Andy's driveway just after 8:00, she checked her appearance before she got out of the car.

Rusty had asked about her plans for the day, and she'd told him she was meeting a friend for breakfast. That seemed safe enough, and he hadn't asked more. Sharon didn't even have to knock; Andy opened the door as she was walking up to his front door.

"Oh," she almost jumped back as he opened the door. "You scared me."

"Heard your car," he offered and gestured to her. "Darn, I was hoping you'd come in that getup you had on the other day."

Sharon bit her lip and shook her head, trying not to laugh while she looked down at her outfit. Instead, she smirked at him, and she gestured to his attire, "I see you adopted the robe idea."

"Knew you'd love it," he said sarcastically as he gestured for her to enter the house. "It's my favorite robe."

Sharon walked by him, and Andy closed and locked the door behind her. He turned to find Sharon there, turned and watching him. She used her index finger to gesture to the robe, "It's ahh, quite green."

"I know it's not something stylish, but Nicole gave it to me for Christmas. It's special, even if I probably wouldn't have bought it myself. Now," he clapped his hands together and put his hand on her back as he slightly turned them. "I thought we could have breakfast too. I know I'm starving." Andy walked by Sharon toward the kitchen where she could see he had things out to make breakfast, but he hadn't started it yet. He put his hand on the counter and turned back to her to gauge her reaction. She watched him stop, walked up to him, and she stopped slightly in front of him.

Andy watched as she kicked off her shoes, her height dropping as she did. She had on a summer style sandal, as it was still the end of August now. She continued to lock eyes with him as her hand reached for and undid the loose knot on his robe, opening it to where he just had on boxers. Andy raised an eyebrow at Sharon, and she gave him a playful shrug and smile, "I had other ideas. Breakfast is overrated, at least breakfast right now," she said, her hands now in his robe pockets, her playful attitude evident.

Andy's hands found hers in his pocket, and he pulled them out, interlocking their fingers, as he stepped closer to her. He let go of their grasp and moved his hands to the back of dress, looking for a zipper. He gave her a questioning glance as he fumbled for one. She grinned at him and stepped back, moving toward his bedroom.

"No zipper, just slips off this easily," she said quickly as she stepped into his doorway and pulled her simple cotton t-shirt style dress over her head. Andy grinned and followed, their breakfast quickly forgotten.

Later, after the two were happily satisfied, they found themselves in a similar bed situation as to their previous times, with Andy on one side of the bed and Sharon on the other, neither touching, but both staring at the ceiling, the sheets wrapped tightly around them, Andy cleared his throat, "Still want some breakfast?"

"What are you making?" Sharon asked. Andy chuckled at the answer she'd given.

"A guy offers to make breakfast, and you decide to be picky?" Andy asked as he continued to laugh.

"I could just go," she said, shifting again, as she rolled to her side and propped up her head with her hand. "You don't owe me anything. I'd say we both had a good morning."

"Indeed," he flashed a huge smile. "I'm hungry; how are you not? I mean, wow, we really have some chemistry, but I was hungry before. You, you," he gestured to her, "now I'm ravenous." She gave him an eye like she was interrogating him, and he rolled his eyes at her, "I'd thought about making waffles."

"Waffles?" Sharon made a face, almost as if she was testing the word.

"Yeah, you know, like a pancake, ever had one?" Andy smirked.

"Jack liked waffles, his favorite. I haven't made them in years," she explained.

"Sandra loved them too, but I do as well. So, no waffles?" Andy asked.

"I mean, I guess I like waffles," she admitted, gesturing with her one hand. "I haven't had them in a long time."

"I'm not Jack," Andy said pointing to himself. "In fact, this is nothing like a Jack situation. I guess I'm doing things with you Jack has done," he grinned, "but we're not like in some relationship. You know-Jack isn't the only person on the planet to like waffles."

"I can just go," Sharon said, turning to get out of bed. Andy moved quickly and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I'd like you to stay. We're friends, right? Friends have breakfast together," he nodded to her.

"Not after what we just did," she chuckled, turning to him. He pulled her toward him and kissed her again as she rested half her body on his chest.

"Let's have some waffles," he suggested. "I have everything out for them. Friends just sharing breakfast," he grinned.

"I guess I do like waffles," Sharon said, rolling further toward him to kiss him again. "Maybe after we can try this again?"

"Oh, I didn't realize we messed it up the first time," he smirked.

"Just thought we could work off the waffles," she shrugged. "Interested?"

"Totally interested, just hungry too," he said. Sharon leaned in and kissed him, trying to gauge whether he was serious about breakfast right now. After a few seconds, they broke apart, and Andy jokingly said, "Oh, okay, you win. I guess we'll eat later."

Sharon burst out laughing, "I promise I'll stay for breakfast."

Later, as they were finishing their breakfast, Sharon looked over at Andy, "Thanks for the waffle. You do a good job in the kitchen."

He raised an eyebrow, "That the only place?"

Sharon dropped her head and started to laugh, "Bedroom wasn't too bad either."

"Wow," Andy sat back in his chair. "Wasn't too bad. That isn't exactly a glowing recommendation. Maybe you should clean up the waffles."

"Fine," she almost jumped up out of the chair, a spring in her step. She'd thrown her dress back on, but her hair was still a mess. Andy was now in gym shorts and a t-shirt as he watched Sharon start to work in his kitchen. He stood and brought the rest of the plates to her at the sink, putting them down next to the sink before he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed the side of her neck.

"I was just teasing you," he said quietly. "Although, seeing you here at the sink, I did think of a payback from the stairs."

Sharon turned off the water and stood, still facing the sink as he continued to kiss at her neck. She hummed and then managed to say, "What's the payback?"

"You can't leave yet. One more trip to my room," he told her. "After that, we go our separate ways and enjoy our weekends, that is if you aren't too tired."

Sharon turned slightly toward him as his hands ran down her dress, "I don't know how that really is payback for you, but I'll take it and I can always sleep at home," she said with a single nod. Andy flashed a grin and took her hand in his, leaving the dishes for later.


	5. Chapter 5

Sharon really knew she'd become obsessed-if that was even the right word, but it best described her right now. She felt ridiculous, but this feeling was so invigorating. As she parked her car and stepped out, she let out her breath, both grateful to see that he was home and hopeful that he didn't think she was totally crazy for just stopping by his house; of course, they seemed to have fallen into that, doing things without checking with the other, but it felt okay; it felt natural, and maybe, that was just the feeling she was getting from this arrangement. It had just been 24 hours since she'd been at his house, but she couldn't get enough; she wanted another afternoon in bed with Andy.

It was easy for her to justify, as the team was going on call tomorrow for the next week. With that, she knew they wouldn't get much sleep and would most likely catch at least one, if not two cases. That, in turn, would bring long days and nights at work, meaning by the end of the day, IF she could go home for the night, she'd want to do only that, go home for the night and nothing else. In addition, Rusty was home a lot right now or would be this next week. He'd finished his summer school classes and had just another week of before school started again, his senior year. There was still school shopping to do, something she thought she would be doing today, but thankfully, Rusty's plans had changed, and now, so had hers. She walked up the steps to his door and let out her breath before she knocked.

She had to wait a few moments, but then, he opened the door. "Hey," he smiled, but gave her an odd expression when he glanced at her. "What brings you by today?"

Sharon looked him up and down and eyed him, "I see I've interrupted you. I'm sorry; I don't know why I just stopped by your house. I should have called, really," she sighed, "I shouldn't have stopped by at all." She started to turn, and Andy reached for her hand, stilling her, and she turned back toward him.

"Before you talk yourself out of whatever reason you have for coming over here, why don't you tell me what's up, and let me decide things, okay?" Andy asked as he chuckled.

Sharon pursed her lips, and she nodded, "Sorry, I left church and found myself coming here."

He raised an eyebrow, "We both know this isn't on your way home. What's bothering you?"

"You're in the middle of something," she gestured to him. Andy was wearing old clothing, covered in what looked like oil, and he had a rag thrown over his shoulder.

"I was changing the oil in my lawn mower," he told her. "I heard a car, and I came through the house. Nice surprise to see you," he smiled. "Why don't you come in, actually, through the house to the backyard and tell me what's going on while I finish with the mower. I was just about done."

She shook her head, "I don't want to bother you. It's silly," she sighed.

"Where's Rusty?" Andy looked beyond her to the car. "He with you? You just come from church?"

"Rusty is with Buzz," she told him. "I dropped him off at the movies after Mass. He rolled his eyes all through the service, but he did go with me. We were supposed to do some school shopping, but Buzz is more exciting than I am," she sighed slightly. "I just thought that we, you and I, could-" she trailed off, giving him the eye, the eye that meant everything, the look that Andy now recognized as Sharon wanting him, wanting for them to be together.

"Oh," he widened his eyes. "Wow," he chuckled and nodded. "I'm really glad you came by. I like your idea of a Sunday afternoon much better than mine."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head and played with her car keys in her hand. She looked down at them, "This is insane. I'm a grown woman and have done this before, obviously," she said, looking up and rolling her eyes. "I guess it's been awhile, and as we were saying the other day, I'm finding myself wanting more. What I really need to do is go home, do some laundry, clean the house-things like that, but I ended up here."

Grinning, Andy opened the door to his house and gestured for her to walk inside, "You'll get no arguments from me. I do need to finish with the mower so it's not just sitting out there. That will take me maybe five minutes. Yard can wait. If you want to make yourself comfortable in my room, I will definitely be right in," he grinned, his eyes sparkling. Sharon, now inside the house, just looked around as he spoke.

"I'm not interrupting your afternoon?" Sharon asked.

"You are, but this is much better than anything I could do. I mean, Sharon," he met her gaze, "you show up, unannounced-which is a good thing, by the way-and suggested we drop everything to spend the afternoon in the bedroom. Ahh, yeah, okay, I'll do as you asked me," he winked.

"Okay," she gave him a soft smile. "I just thought that with the team starting call tomorrow, it could be a busy week or longer, depending on any case we catch. I thought we could make the most of our time," she said, but before she could continue, Andy reached for her hand and started to tug her toward the bedroom. The two walked toward it, and when he had to part ways to go to the backyard, he spun around to her and kissed her quickly.

"I'll be there in five minutes. If you don't mind, start the shower for me, nah," he shook his head. "I'll grab a cold shower if I have to knowing things will heat up quickly," he grinned. "I know it's not your thing, the two of us in the shower, but I need to wash off because last thing you need is lawn mower grease all over your gorgeous self," he winked and stepped away. Sharon watched as he stepped outside, and she turned toward his room, intent on enjoying her lazy Sunday afternoon.

Andy joined her, true to his word, just five minutes later, pulling his dirty t-shirt over his head as he walked into the room. He chuckled at Sharon, buried under the comforter.

"You cold or something?" Andy asked as he walked into the bathroom to turn on the shower. He walked back out to the room, and Sharon, whose face was only visible, looked to him.

"No, just feeling that awkwardness right now. It's hard to explain, but it comes and goes sometimes when I'm with you. I'm feeling every bit of it right now, but maybe it's due to it being daylight and me being so bold as to just show up here this afternoon, barely 24 hours after I left your house after we spent half the day in here."

Andy nodded as he listened, and then he patted the doorframe as he spoke, "No need to feel awkward. I'm really glad you came over, and I like your boldness, if I'd even call it that. I guess I just appreciate you being up front with me about all of this. I think it's working well between us, and while you may be feeling awkward, I hope I'm not making you feel that way."

"Thanks," she smiled softly at him and nodded her head toward his shower, "Get your shower. I'll be waiting here."

"Woman in my bed," he winked. "I'll be right back." Andy disappeared, and when he finished, he couldn't help but laugh. Sharon was in the same spot, nestled under his comforter, but she'd fallen asleep. He couldn't blame here; he was tired too. She's completely worn him out the day before, and while he should have gotten a good night of sleep, he'd been restless, thinking of her. She'd been in his bed half of Saturday, and he just couldn't get that out of his head during the night. They weren't young anymore, and a day like they'd had Saturday had been amazing, but exhausting. She'd get a little nap, and then, they could fool around. Andy eyed her as he closed his curtains and crept around to the side of the bed, sliding in, knowing that when she had gotten some rest, they'd enjoy the afternoon together.

Much later, Sharon's eyes fluttered open, and briefly, she forgot where she was. The bed didn't feel like hers, and as she tried to remember what was going on, it hit her quickly, and she sat up, realizing she'd embarrassed herself by coming over and falling asleep in Andy's bed. Andy shifted at her sudden movement, and he rolled on his side toward her. "Oh man, we both fell asleep," he grumbled and ran his hand over his face. Sharon, sitting up, now, the comforter wrapped around her, just hummed.

"I am so sorry," she finally said and chuckled quietly. "I am so embarrassed."

"Why?" Andy laughed. "Sharon, it's fine. I mean, we didn't exactly relax and rest yesterday. To tell you the truth, I was exhausted, still am. You're wearing me out, not that I mind." Andy moved his hand to her bare back and started moving his fingers up and down it. She turned slightly toward him, making it harder to reach her.

"I guess we are showing our age," she groaned and dropped her head in her hands as she tried not to laugh. "Way to kill the mood, right?"

"Maybe we can spice it up again," he shifted toward her. "What time is it anyway?"

Sharon looked over at the clock, there by the nightstand next to her, "Is this your side of the bed? The alarm clock is here. Did I take your side?"

"No worries," he shrugged. "Again, not complaining," he pointed to himself. Sharon looked back at the clock.

"It's 3:45," Sharon said as she yawned. "Buzz said he'd have Rusty home by 6:00 so-"

"3:45?" Andy exclaimed, sitting up quickly himself. The two had slept for over two hours. He had a panicked expression on his face and started to gesture at her, "Provenza is coming over at 4:00 to watch the baseball game. We've been planning it all week."

Sharon's eyes widened in horror, "Provenza is on his way here? Now? I have to get out of here. Andy, he cannot find me here!" Sharon moved quickly, scrambling out of the bed to gather her clothing. She'd put everything on a chair in the corner of the room. Andy moved in the other direction, looking for his phone.

"I'll call him right now and find out where he is," Andy told her.

"Andy, he's early everywhere," Sharon hissed as she threw on her dress. She moved quickly into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Andy stepped out into the hallway, remembering his phone was in the kitchen. Sharon smoothed down her hair and dress, and she moved through the bedroom to get out of the house. As she felt her dress pocket, she frowned, not finding her keys there, and she looked over at him, "Have you seen my keys?"

Andy came around the corner from the kitchen, his eyes wide, as he had his finger up to his mouth, motioning for her to be quiet. He gestured to the phone in his hand, and Sharon's face turned white.

"Nothing Provenza," Andy shook his head. "It was just the t.v., commercial. I just turned on the station to catch the game. See you soon," and he hung up the phone.

"I can't believe I did that," Sharon put her hand up to her mouth.

Andy waved her off, "Provenza didn't hear you, I mean, not exactly. I talked up the television, and he didn't ask more." Sharon nodded, looking around for her keys. Andy walked over to a small table he had by the door, and he picked them up and dangled them toward her. "See, I was so irresistible, you totally blocked out your movements, intent on getting me in bed."

"Hmm, we see how that worked," she sighed, grabbing the keys.

"We were in bed," he offered, giving her a silly grin.

"Maybe a bit more rested, but I for one, will admit, not satisfied," she pursed her lips. "I'm going. Provenza cannot see me."

"He's about five minutes away," Andy told her. "You're fine."

"Five minutes!" Sharon's eyes widened as she exclaimed that to him. "I'm going now," she said quickly, leaning up again to kiss him. It was another chaste kiss, and he didn't even have time to respond to it before she was at the door.

"Sorry about this mess," she called to him. "I'll talk to you later."

He followed her to the door and held it as she moved quickly outside, "I was changing the oil in my lawn mower. That quickly became sleeping next to a sexy woman," he grinned at her. "I'm good."

"We'll do better next time," she said as she climbed into her car. He'd followed her across his yard, and he nodded at that.

"Just let me know the time and place," he flashed a grin.

"It might be a couple weeks, depending on cases. That's why I felt the ahhh, urge, to come here today. Bye," she waved and got into the driver seat.

"Some might say it was desperation," he grinned, yelling to her. "I call it magnetic; we cannot stay away from each other. Oh, Provenza is coming from that direction," Andy pointed down the street. "Go the other way." Sharon nodded as she hurriedly tried to get out of his driveway.

"Provenza will call it the most horrific thing he's ever seen and kill us both. I have to go," she said, and with that, she closed the door and backed out quickly. Andy waved, but she was focused on getting out of sight. He no sooner walked back into his house he heard Provenza's car. Before his best friend, the astute detective could notice anything out of the ordinary, he turned on the television and closed his bedroom door. Normally, he made his bed each morning, but with the way Sharon had run out of the house, it was a tangled mess; he'd deal with it later. He sent a quick text as he watched Provenza walk toward his door, "Thanks for a great afternoon. You won't believe me, but I had a great time."


	6. Chapter 6

It was a week later, and the team found themselves finishing reports late, all in exchange for a few hours off in the morning. It had been a long week, with a particularly frustrating case. It was now Sunday evening, and Sharon had given them the option of staying to finish, when it was already almost 7:00 at that suggestion or coming back in at the regular time tomorrow to wrap up things. They'd all opted to stay late and come in after lunch Monday, hoping that they didn't catch a case before then. She'd brightened their spirits with takeout, Chinese food this time, and after they had all attacked the food, she found herself in the break room putting it away, enjoying the few moments of silence.

She was humming as she put the last containers in the refrigerator, sure that Rusty would eat anything left when she finally did get home tonight. Her paperwork, at least for now, was done. After the team finished with theirs, she would have a couple hours of work on her plate, but she didn't mind. Right now, she was just hoping to get out of the office by 10:30 so she could go home and enjoy a very hot shower.

As Sharon walked through the office, the team glanced up at her, all used to the sound of her heels, but still all wanting to make sure that she didn't need anything from them. She smiled and nodded to the team as she made eye contact with them, and as she walked around to her side office door, which didn't seem odd because Andy was holding a form in the air, one needing her signature, she took it from him and gave him a quick eye and nod to her office; she wanted to see him.

Andy gave her the faintest of nods, indicating he understood, and he turned back to his paperwork. He'd stop in her office. If it had been anything work-related or imminent, she would have asked him for a minute. He needed to be casual about it; he had a good idea of what she wanted to discuss.

It was another 10 minutes later when he got to a stopping point, or at least a break point, in his paperwork. He stood and stretched, glancing around the room. Sykes was getting something to drink. Mike had already done that. Andy nodded at Julio when he glanced toward him, and he stepped toward Sharon's office, another form in hand. He really didn't need to give it to her this second, but it went along with his invitation to her office.

"Here's one of the forms you need regarding the background on the suspect's financials," he offered her the paperwork as he closed the door. He decided to stand behind the chair, knowing that this wasn't the time to have a lengthy conversation with her; everyone wanted to go home.

"Thank you," she nodded and pursed her lips as she reached over her desk to accept the paperwork. As she got situated in her seat again, she looked at him over the top of her glasses, "It's been a very long couple of days."

"No kidding," he sighed.

"Look," she clasped her hands on her desk and met his gaze. "While I appreciated the comment to Chief Taylor out there earlier, you know that I don't need you running to my rescue."

"Okay," Andy gestured with his hands. "That wasn't me as Andy, the guy messing around with you. That was Lieutenant Flynn having my captain's back. You can think what you want, but none of us want Taylor talking to you like that. He's such an idiot, and that comment was not a productive type of comment from a boss. It was a low-blow, and he was wrong to say it. The team thought I did the right thing."

Sharon paused and pondered what he'd said, finally, biting her lip as she looked directly at him, "I just want to make sure lines aren't getting crossed."

"I don't think they are," Andy said, slightly frustrated. "You stick up for us all the time. This was just that, and I get it that you're the boss, but sometimes, you need that too, backup from the team. Taylor shut up after that because he knew I was right; Chief would have done something differently than you did, but she would have ended up in trouble. That can't be disputed. I'm sorry if you think we are crossing lines. I really thought we were doing a good job of keeping the bedroom in the bedroom and work here at work."

Sharon sighed and shook her head, "I do think we are doing a good job. I suppose that I just jumped to conclusions there because it was you who said it. I don't want our arrangement getting out here in any possible way."

"It won't," he told her. "It hasn't. Provenza said he was a half second from chewing out Taylor himself. Go ask him. Julio was ready to deck him. I just have no problem telling off that guy. I'm sorry if I stepped out of line. Provenza's stuck up for you before; I have too. We're your lieutenants, and you've never had an issue before. Don't start overanalyzing things because we're sleeping together outside the office."

"Point taken from you," she gave a single nod, indicating she didn't want to discuss it further. "You've otherwise done okay with things."

"I'm not going to change my behavior because we're sleeping together. I enjoy spending time with you, even at work. So, like in court, I'll sit with you, as I did during that brownie case. That's what we do, and if we start acting weird, the team will notice," he explained. "Sure, I know you are the boss, but we all work as a team. We take orders from you all the time, but as a team, we stick together. That was what all that was with Taylor. I'm sorry. We just need to act normal, and I thought we were."

"Agree," she hummed. "Changing topics, is the team almost done?"

"Yeah, they have maybe a half hour or so," he waved to the room. "Thanks for the time off in the morning. I was wondering if you had some ulterior motive with it, just maybe?" he flashed a smirk at her, hoping that look would lighten the tone in the room. He was still a little irritated, but it was hard to stay mad looking at her. She seemed frustrated still, possibly just tired, but he wanted to change topics to discuss something much more enjoyable.

Sharon gave him an almost horrified look, "It's late already, and Rusty is at home. No, I just want to go home to my bed-ALONE," she emphasized.

"Yeah, see, I can tell you're completely focused on work, which is where your trusty lieutenant comes in handy," he grinned again. "I wasn't suggesting tonight at all. I was thinking I might be in the neighborhood tomorrow morning. Rumor has it we are both free in the morning."

"Rusty doesn't start school for a couple more days," she pointed out to him. "That won't work."

"Ahh," he shook his finger in the air, "see, you're tired. Rusty was telling all of us earlier about some senior class meeting or whatever. He's going to school tomorrow. You remember starting your senior year of high school, all the things going on. He's not that excited about it, but he's still going. I have it on good authority he will be out of the house early."

Sharon closed her eyes and shook her head, "How did I forget that? You're right; he does have an early morning tomorrow. I'm just tired."

Andy raised an eyebrow, "Too tired for me to stop by in the morning? It's been a week and a half, and I'm starting to miss our little ahh, get-togethers," he grinned. "You know what they say about all work and no play."

She raised her hand, "Do not call it a playdate. I can't get that out of my head from before."

Andy smirked, "I believe you were the one who actually coined it a playdate. I mean, we could just call it a roll in the hay."

"No," she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm there to serve you, Captain," he smirked again. She cringed.

"No, do not say that," she sighed.

"How about that I'm answering the call of duty," he chuckled. Sharon finally opened one eye and glared at him.

"Fine, I'm going to just go with services rendered," he started to chuckle again. "I can go all night," he laughed again, and as he said that, he laughed even harder. "I didn't even try with that one, and it still came out with a double meaning. You'd better just stop me, or it may start to get even more graphic."

Sharon pursed her lips, looked up, and she made eye contact with him, "Rusty will be gone by 7:30. If you happen to stop by at 8:00, you may just find me at home."

"See you at 8:00," he winked and nodded as he walked to her office door.

Andy knocked on her condo door promptly at 8:00, juggling drinks and muffins. Sharon opened the door, and she gestured for him to come inside. He flashed a grin at her.

"Morning and indeed a good morning it is," he wiggled his eyebrows.

She raised an eyebrow at him, curious to his extremely good mood, "Everything okay?"

"Everything is great. I mean, I am about to get lucky," he winked. "Ahh, the robe," he shook his head. "I love that robe, and I was hoping to see it again. Just with a quick glance, it appears you have nothing on under that robe." Andy gestured to her, and she looked to the floor briefly.

"That's a possibility," she said with a slight shrug and glance toward him. "Tell me something-why do you always have food when we sleep together?"

"Really?" Andy dropped his head and grinned at her. "You have to ask? Come on, Sharon," he shook his head. "In case you hadn't noticed, you completely exhaust me-in a good way," he added. "Judging by your comments and all, I seem to completely exhaust you. We both need a little refueling, maybe even a jump start today," he said and offered her a cup. "I brought you some tea, and there are muffins in the bag."

"Thanks," she said, accepting it. She sipped it and hummed, while he did the same with his coffee. After they both finished with their sips, they stood there in the living room.

"Rusty at school, I assume?" Andy asked.

"Yes," Sharon said, cupping her drink. "We have the place to ourselves."

"So, do you want to eat first?" he asked and held up the bag. "You tell me."

She glanced toward her room and then back to him. She nodded toward the kitchen, "I suppose we could eat first. You don't always have to feed me."

"Noted," he nodded as he followed her. The two sat down at the table, adjacent to each other. Andy offered her the bag, and she pulled out the first muffin. He took out the remaining one, and the two were quiet while they ate. Andy finished his first, and he gestured to Sharon's feet. "I'll rub your feet while you finish. You were in those killer heels all day yesterday, over 12 hours. I know your feet have to be bothering you."

She made a face at him, "You don't have to rub my feet. That's not something that is part of what goes on with us."

He shrugged, "I know. It's not like I'm sending you some checklist. I'm your friend and do something nice. Tell me your feet aren't killing you," he almost dared her. Instead, she rolled her eyes and moved her feet onto his lap where he started to work on them. She hummed loudly enough for him to hear.

"Just relax," he told her. "It's a win for me too because I get to stare at these incredibly long legs, knowing that robe of yours isn't hiding much," he flashed a grin at her. She just remained silent when he started on her feet. Andy worked on her feet a few minutes as the two enjoyed the quiet morning. Eventually, Sharon pulled her feet from him and stood, moving toward him where she put her hands on his shoulders and sat down on his one leg before she started to kiss him. It was evident she was done eating and ready to move things along. Andy quickly wrapped his arms around her, and things started heating up quickly. "Here?" Andy asked.

"No," Sharon shook her head and stood, pulling him with her. "Sorry, I started to get carried away. Let's go back to my room."

"No argument here," he mumbled, his hand in hers. She chuckled lightly and turned back to him, still gripping his hand in her one. She pulled at her robe as they walked, and Andy could be heard mumbling as they stepped into the room.

"You're killing me, Sharon, killing me," he said.

The two found themselves in what was becoming their typical places later on that morning. Sharon was on one side of the bed, staring at the ceiling, the comforter pulled up around her, and Andy looked the same on the other side of the bed. He glanced over at her and smirked.

"Is it me, or is this more fun that it was even last time?" Andy asked.

"I think we are just comfortable with each other, but it wasn't just you noticing that," she told him.

"I know what it was," Andy said, raising his hand to snap his fingers. "It was the muffin. It gave us that little extra boost to provide us with extra energy," he winked at her. She raised her arm and reached over to playfully smack at him. "Of course, maybe it's the morning. We just have more energy. Man, I'm glad Rusty had to be at school, and my boss had the great idea to give us the morning off."

"I need to be careful about that," she said, now turning again on her side to face him. She propped her head on her elbow, and her hair fell around her face and shoulders. "This was a good idea, and I can't start giving everyone the morning off just so we can enjoy ourselves."

"True," he said, turning toward her. "It is nice, though, that Rusty is back in school. It maybe will give us a few more options."

"Hmm, I admit that it was very enjoyable," she sighed.

Andy reached over and pushed her hair back slightly, "You know that look kills me."

"What look?" Sharon asked.

"That," he gestured to her. "You have done that at work now a few times lately, propping your head on your elbow on your desk. You do it when you are really thinking about something or really tired. You did it in the office the other day, when you were sitting at that desk behind Sykes. As soon as I saw it, I had to look away. I tried not to groan, but instantly, I saw you as I do right now. I saw sexy Sharon in a bed, looking at me. It was the same everything, the hair falling around your face, all of it."

"You were turned on by watching me think over a problem?" Sharon said, almost laughing.

"Oh, you have no idea," Andy groaned.

"That can't be true," she said.

"I'll point it out next time you do it," he told her. "Watch, you do it more than you know. I just need to get an image in my head to wipe out this image of you, here, naked, right now, like of Provenza eating at an all you can eat place. I'm telling you, Sharon, I couldn't stop thinking about the two of us in bed."

"Well," she shrugged slightly, leaning toward him where she kissed him quickly before she almost jumped out of bed, "you need to separate work from personal, Lieutenant." She grabbed for her robe, which was on the floor by the hallway and stood, facing away as she put it on. "I'm going to get a shower to get ready for work. You talking about work reminded me that I need to get to the office."

"Come on, Sharon," he called to her, reaching for her. "We still have a couple hours. We could nap and maybe go another round before we have to go in. You don't need to get there this early."

"I'm the boss and have all of that paperwork from last night to wade through. I do want to get going, but," now dressed, she climbed back on the bed and leaned over him, "this was a lot of fun. Let's check our schedules and figure out when we can do this again. Hopefully, it's sooner than later because I hated waiting this long."

Andy grinned at her, as she was perched just over him, and he pulled her in for a kiss. When she finally pulled back, he grinned at her again, "We didn't see each other for just over a week. We go from zero to 100, and then, we have a week or so break, and now, you are telling me that was too long? I'm not disagreeing, and actually, glad we are on the same page about the frequency."

"A girl wants what she wants," Sharon teased as she slid off the bed again and walked toward her bathroom door. "You check your calendar while I'm in the shower."

Their morning was cut short when they did catch a case. Andy got the call while Sharon was in the shower, which at least, Provenza couldn't hear her this time. He got up and sighed as he walked to the bathroom door.

"Sharon," he yelled after he cracked open the door. He heard her open the shower door, and with that, he looked to see her head sticking out.

"Andy, I'm sorry, but the shower is just not appealing to me," she said.

"Caught a case," he said loudly for her to hear him over the water. "Provenza just called. Robbery/Homicide is slammed, and they think there's something weird about this one."

"Okay," she said, turning off the water. He watched her reach for her towel, and soon, she was standing in the bathroom, still dripping wet. "Ahh, I suppose I'll see you at work then, unless you want to grab a shower."

"Is it safe? I mean," he smirked, "do I have to streak out of here again?"

Sharon stood there with the towel wrapped around her body, and she made a face at him. "I will not run you out."

"Probably a good idea I shower," he winked to her as he walked into the bathroom. He reached in and turned on the shower again, his eyes still locked on hers. She gave him a questioning glance, and he shrugged, "I can smell your perfume on me still. If I can, Provenza will too. Best I shower and get rid of that scent, even though I'd love to smell it all day. I love that you put on perfume before I came over."

Sharon bit her lip and looked down, while he just watched her. She met his gaze, "Better hurry on that shower. I can't have my lieutenant late to the crime scene." She started to walk by him, but he lightly touched her arm. She looked to him and without thinking, she said, "You can meet me in the morgue later. We seem to work well together in almost any situation."

Andy grinned and leaned in to give her a quick kiss, "Can't wait to see what you wear today with those killer heels again. I'm wearing a black suit-just putting that out there."

Hours later, Andy was wishing he could still smell Sharon's perfume because the smell from the body was driving him crazy. They were dealing with a psycho this time, someone who had not only killed, but stayed to eat and live in the home all weekend. The two jumped right into work mode and started putting the pieces together to solve the murder. It was what they did best, at least one of the things they did best together. Andy grinned as he thought that. They were great together, just now in more ways than one.

By the next morning, Sharon was exhausted, both from work and all of her running around with Andy. While she had enjoyed their morning yesterday before they'd caught a case, she was now regretting not getting a little more rest. The team had worked through the night, not making much progress on the case before she'd had a run-in with Taylor. Now, in the early morning, she was home to change her clothes and head right back to work. Her phone rang as she was working on her hair in the bathroom.

"Andy, I can't talk about anything right now," she said after she answered the phone.

"Captain, there's another body," he told her, his tone making it clear he was still in work mode. "I just walked in the door at my house; you know I live further away, but Provenza just called to say our guy struck again."

"Okay," Sharon pinched the bridge of her nose, "okay. I just watched the story on the news. I was worried this would happen."

"I know; you tried to tell Taylor," he said. "I was there."

"Thank you for being ahh, quietly supportive," she told him.

"Doing my job," he said. "Look, I am going to get a quick shower and head to the crime scene. I told Provenza I'd let you know. He was calling Mike and then Sykes."

"Thank you," she sighed. "If you text me the address, I'll head there myself. I'm almost ready. I don't like this case at all. He's just looking for fame, and by putting his name and face out there, he has it."

"I don't like it either. Let's just focus on catching this creep today. We'll get him. I'll see you soon," he said.

Sharon hung up her phone and looked in the mirror, sighing. She hated this case. It just hit a nerve with her, and she knew they were racing the clock. With that in mind, she hastily finished with her makeup and moved quickly down the hall. She was in work mode now.

Work mode continued over the next couple days, and the case ended with their suspect taking his own life. She hated to see anyone do that, suspect or not, and she was having trouble not beating herself up over it. The bright spot had been Rusty starting his first day of his senior year, which she had made it home again to change before he'd gone to school. Now that she was back in the office, she couldn't stop replaying the crime scene video, her conversation with Brandon, their suspect. She glanced up at one point, making eye contact with Andy. He stood and came into her office, closing the door.

"You can't keep watching that," he told her.

She sighed and started playing the video again as he walked around to stand by her desk to look at it with her. She didn't hear much from him as he talked to her, but his phrase, "You did great," just kept circling her mind. She didn't think she'd done a great thing; someone else was dead. Sharon didn't have long to dwell on that, though, as she was summoned to Taylor's office. She glanced at Andy, worried something had been said about their situation, but he just gave her a small shrug and watched her walk away.

The rest of the evening was a blur, and it wasn't until almost midnight that Andy finally found himself of Sharon's doorstep knocking lightly. He didn't hear her at first, and then, he could tell she was looking out her peephole. He braced his hand against the door as she unlocked the door, and he almost melted when he saw her.

"Rusty's gone, at least for now," she said, tears falling down her face. Andy moved his arm toward her to embrace her, and he felt her pull on him tightly. "He's gone," she repeated.

Andy sighed and maneuvered them into the condo, where he used his foot to kick the door closed. He held her, but with his free hand, he made sure the door was closed tightly. Sharon started to cry, and he put his hand on her hair to soothe her. Finally, he spoke, "I just left Provenza's place. Rusty is doing okay. He's scared to death he won't see you again, but Provenza and I told him this will all work out eventually. We'll figure this out. Emma isn't going to move him."

He felt Sharon nod her head, and he continued to stand there with her. After a few minutes, he knew his shirt was wet from her tears, but he could tell she'd stopped crying. He pulled back slightly to look at her. She was a mess, still in her work suit, and he knew she'd been crying on and off since she'd been home.

"I'm sorry that I fell apart on you," she said, stepping back and wiping her face with her hand. "I look awful, and I didn't mean to turn into a blubbering mess on you."

Andy loosely held one of her hands while the two were still standing close, but at a respectable distance. He gave her a soft smile, "It's okay. We're friends, and friends are there for each other. You can keep crying if you like; I'm not going judge you or anything."

She took a deep breath, "I think I'm cried out. I am so mad at him for hiding those letters, but at the same time, I'm so scared for what might happen."

"He made a mistake," Andy said quietly. "Stupid, yeah. Kid should know better, but he made a huge mistake. We all make mistakes, some worse than others. I know that better than just about anyone, and it's easy to keep those things from others. It's easy to hide things you don't want to put out there in the open. I get it. He really messed up, and this one could put his life in jeopardy, but he's safe now. We'll all keep him safe."

"There's no guarantee of that," she sighed.

Andy nodded, and he squeezed her hand, "It doesn't look like this creep knows where Rusty lives. You have that going for you, but over the next few days as they work through all of that, he's going to stay with Provenza. You know he's safe there. I had to come and check on you."

She nodded again, "Thanks. I know it's late. You really don't have to check on me. I'll be okay."

"Right," he nodded, gesturing behind him to the door, "that was a totally normal greeting, the sobbing at the door. Sharon, it's me, and I'm not going to just leave you like this here. I'm worried about you. Provenza is with Rusty; I wanted to be with you."

"Really," she shook her head and looked to the floor, frowning, "I'll be okay. I need to just try and sleep. The case was awful, and just as that was ending, this was thrown at me. It's been a long few days."

Andy tugged at her hand, and she looked up at him. He shrugged slightly, "I'll go if you really want me to go, but for tonight, I'd like to stay. You know I have an extra suit in my car; I've had it there all week with this lousy case. No one will know I was here."

Sharon looked up and met his gaze, "You would-" she paused.

"I'll do whatever you need or want. You want to just sleep, that's fine. I'll even stay on the couch if staying with you seems too intimate, too much like more than what this is with us. I didn't come here to just take you to bed, but if you want that, I'm not going to argue either. I know frustration, sadness, and grief-they can stir all kinds of emotions. I'm your friend always, and as your friend, I'm here for you in whatever way that means. Sharon," he met her gaze, "what do you want tonight?"


	7. Chapter 7

She was finally sleeping; he had slept a little too, but really, that was the least of his worries right now. He wanted her to get some sleep, any sleep, and finally, she was. He'd about had to wear her out, he closed his eyes and silently chuckled to himself. It was almost 5:00 in the morning now, and he'd maybe slept an hour and a half. Man, he was tired, tired from the crappy case, tired from staying up worried about Sharon, tired from their middle of the night roll in the sack. Andy really hadn't come here for that, truly, not that he was complaining. In the back of his mind, he knew it was a possibility, but Sharon wasn't just a roll in the sack to him; he cared for her as a friend. He wasn't going to lie; he had been wanting Sharon for days now, and it seemed pretty apparent, from last night, that she felt the same way. It was almost funny that now that they were sleeping together, they couldn't get enough of it. It was like a sponge. Somehow, though, it was working, because she was still his friend. Sharon was honestly becoming a very good friend, and through it all, he was worried about her, worried about this mess with Rusty. He wanted to be whatever Sharon had needed last night. She'd needed him on different levels, and he was just glad he could be here for her.

Andy had been serious when he'd told Sharon he would even stay on her couch. He was her friend and wanted to make sure she was okay with Rusty's mess. It was a dicey situation, and he wasn't sure what they would do with Rusty. Sharon was taking good care of him, but Rusty had hidden those letters. He had a feeling they'd allow Rusty to stay with Sharon but convincing her of that was another story. Plus, what he had was a feeling; it wasn't a guarantee.

After he and Sharon had talked at the door, she'd locked up again and pulled him with her toward her room where she'd dropped his hand at the door, walked to her side, and just curled up on the bed, not on Andy. She'd nodded to the other side of the bed, almost like she wanted him to be just close enough to her. Not a word had been spoken, and he was okay with that, just letting Sharon decompress as she needed to do. Sharon had turned on her television, and even now, Andy couldn't really remember what they'd watched-some house type show where people remodel their homes. It didn't matter. He just sat there and let her be. She curled up with a blanket, and both remained silent for over an hour. Andy knew Sharon well enough that she'd talk when she was ready. This was enough; this was why he came. He also knew that suggesting she do anything or try to sleep was useless; Sharon would do things on her schedule. Period. It was probably after 1:30 in the morning when she finally sat up, got up, and she walked into her bathroom. Andy was still wide away, even though he hadn't slept much the last few days either. He wasn't sure what to do, so he just continued to sit there and watch the television. He heard Sharon brushing her teeth and nodded to himself, hopeful she'd decided to maybe get some rest. To encourage that, he turned off the lights and stood to at least turn down Sharon's side of the comforter. He didn't do the same to his side because he really wanted her to call the shots. If she said she wanted to be alone, he'd go to the living room. He sat back down against the headboard on the side he'd claimed and turned his attention to the show again. Funny, they both had televisions in their bedrooms, but they had never watched television together in the bedroom. Their relationship, if it could be called that, but it really wasn't one, had been physical, and home remodeling shows definitely had not fit into that mold.

Andy glanced toward Sharon when she came out of the bathroom, and he nodded to himself, happy that she'd changed her clothes for bed. She had on her robe, and even if she didn't sleep right away, she appeared to be trying. He looked back at the television while she put on her hand cream, almost feeling that he was interrupting something intimate, her nightly routine. The idea was silly, though, as the two had been involved in the most intimate acts over the last month. Still, it felt odd. The darkness of the room helped, and he turned toward her when she finally took off her robe and slipped into bed. He tried to give her a small smile.

"Just feel free to kick me out, and I'll leave you alone here. We can watch this as long as you want," he said. "This is all," he gestured, "whatever you need Sharon."

She looked over at him and reached for his hand, pulling him toward her, "I need to be distracted. I need to forget everything for just awhile. I need you to help me with that. I need something enjoyable now. You can do that for me. We've been so happy and carefree these last few weeks when we've been together. The tone is different tonight, but I don't want it to be. I want this to just be as carefree as it has been, but I'm raw. I need you to help me forget," she explained, still tugging at his arm. He rolled toward her, his eyes searching hers. She smiled at him, the fear of the unknown regarding Rusty still in her eyes, but she gave him a small smile. She pulled him toward her again, and that was all it took. Even in the dim light, he could it in her eyes. He and Sharon fell right into what was becoming familiar territory for them.

Andy glanced over at her now, and she was still asleep. Sharon was lying on her back, but her head was turned to the side, facing him, which allowed him to see her sleeping, almost peacefully sleeping. They'd been up a long time. After they had finished just over a couple hours ago now, Sharon had rolled back to her side, and Andy had watched, wanting to know if he'd just made a big mistake by coming over tonight. Sharon sat up, reached for her robe, put it on, and stood, still not facing him, but the windows.

"I'm going to get a shower and try to relax," she told him. "Thanks for that; you helped a lot. I just need a moment now."

"I can go," he said and sat up in the bed, wishing he could see her face. It was dark, and she wouldn't turn toward him, but she just raised her hand almost in silent protest.

"No, you don't have to run out. It's the middle of the night. I just," she dropped her head and sighed.

"You don't need to say anything. I will just leave you alone here and go to the living room," he said and started to the door.

"That couch is horrible," she said. "You aren't bothering me. I'm going to shower," Sharon stated and left for the bathroom. Andy waited until he heard the water start running, and then he got up to get a glass of water. Even being on the other side of the wall from her felt too intimate for some reason right now. He took his time in the kitchen, and before he returned to the bedroom, he even stood by the balcony sliding glass door and just looked out over the city. It was beautiful at night, and it was hard to believe that somewhere in that city, someone wanted to get to Rusty. They'd find the person, and in the interim, he just prayed Rusty was going to be able to stay with Sharon. Andy sighed and walked back to the bedroom. The room was a mess. He started to clean it up, and as he did that, he could hear Sharon crying in the shower. He hated that, hated that she was so upset. It wasn't his place to do anything more, so he cleaned up the bedroom, got back into bed, and he turned off the lights. Sharon would want that; tonight was all about what Sharon wanted.

Now, he continued to study her, and as he was looking at her, her eyes fluttered open and looked back at him.

"Hi, sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I was just glad to see you were sleeping, "he explained.

"I slept a little," she sighed. She shook her head just slightly, "I was hoping it was a nightmare."

"Living nightmare," he nodded. "Look, I'm going to go. If I leave now, I can run home, shower, and start my day. I know you need your space."

"Listen," she said as she cleared her throat and shifted toward him, turning on her side. She put her hand on his chest, "If you go, I'm only going to think about this mess. I know last night was not the normal light and fun time we've been having. I apologize for putting emotions into it, but," she eyed him, now running her hand up and down his chest, "if you stay right now, I promise to have my head in a better place. I will deal with real life in a couple of hours, but now," she said, shifting closer to him again as she propped herself up on her elbow to look down at him, "can I interest you in me?" Sharon said that in an almost teasing tone, and before he could answer, she added, "I'll even throw in breakfast when we are finished."

Andy smiled at her, surprised at her teasing tone this morning, but glad to see that she was doing better than last night. He shifted slightly and pulled her toward him, "Good thing we have a couple of hours before we have to be at work. Your wish is my command Captain."


	8. Chapter 8

"Flynn! You're falling asleep again," Provenza yelled across the room at Andy. Andy's eyes flew open just in time to see a paper wad coming his way. He scowled and ducked, the paper dropping between his desk and Sharon's office. He reached down to grab the paper and looked toward Sharon. She met his gaze. He didn't know how long she'd been watching him, but she was. He gave her a soft smile and a wink before he turned his attention back on Provenza. He tried to glance out the side of his eye, wondering if Sharon was still watching him, but he didn't want to make his glace too obvious. He had a feeling she was watching him, daydreaming even, and he didn't want to make things more awkward.

"I wasn't asleep," Andy said as he smirked at his best friend. Provenza scowled and sat back down in his chair. "I have a headache," he explained. Truthfully, Andy was sleeping; he was exhausted, and the main source of his exhaustion was still staring at him; he knew it. Sharon had worn him out. The two had been together more times in the last month than he'd been with anyone in the last year, actually, two years, maybe three years-okay three years, not that he was complaining. If he had to be honest, he hadn't slept with anyone in the last couple years; no one had interested him enough, and when she'd suggested it after Nicole's wedding, he almost wondered why he hadn't thought of it before then himself. Sharon had lit a fire within him, and he knew the feeling was mutual. They had a great chemistry, and it had been hard to have the discussion they'd had over their breakfast now just a few hours ago.

 _"_ _Thanks for breakfast," Andy said to her as he chewed on his toast. His hair was still a little damp, and he glanced over at Sharon who was pushing food around on her plate. After their early morning fun, Sharon had jumped back into the shower briefly and then finished getting ready for work. Andy had dozed on and off, and when he finally had to start getting ready for work, he'd taken his shower while Sharon had made them eggs and toast. She'd also cut up some strawberries, so it looked like a very nice breakfast even with the circumstances._

 _"_ _You're welcome," she said, still just moving food around. Andy reached over and stilled her hand. She didn't look at him, but he spoke anyway._

 _"_ _You need to eat, Sharon. Friends watch out for each other. I'm telling you that you are no good to Rusty and will have no energy to fight Rios if you don't eat. Please," he urged her. She glanced over at him. "Don't make me take you to bed again," he winked at her. "I'll have my way with you and then spoon feed you. What happened to early morning sexy Sharon?"_

 _That Sharon is gone, at least for now," she sat back and looked at him, her fork still in her hand. "I really appreciate you coming here last night and taking my mind off things. I needed that, and I needed this morning, to almost feel alive again, almost to remind me I can find enjoyment even in a dark moment," she gave him a small smile. "You have no idea how much I wanted all of that, but for the time being, can we put our wants aside and focus on Rusty? I don't want to," she paused and frowned, not sure how she wanted to word things._

 _Andy picked up on it and nodded, finishing her thought, "You don't want to have a playdate until Rusty is back home."_

 _Sharon's eyes widened, and she looked to him, clearly horrified, "I thought we discussed not using that. I can't get the image out of my head of sweet little toddlers having a playdate."_

 _"_ _Well," he chuckled and took another bite of his eggs, "as I said, you coined it initially. Fine," he smiled, hoping this playful banter would brighten her mood and get her mind off Rusty, "We won't have sexy time until he's home. Trashy?" he made a face after he saw her expression. "Ahh, we won't fulfill each other's physical desires until Rusty is home."_

 _"_ _Stop," she sighed and stood, her plate still full. "I don't even need to finish the conversation. Obviously, by your terminology, you understand the basics of what I was suggesting. I don't even know what I saw in you, thinking you and I would be compatible for this in the first place. Your vocabulary is horrifying."_

 _"_ _Okay," he shrugged lightly and looked to her plate, giving her a glance before he gestured for it. She rolled her eyes, and he stabbed two of the strawberries on her plate. "We won't have sex until Rusty is home, but then," he pointed with a free hand, "NOT while Rusty is home. That would give away our little arrangement, and you picked me," he flashed a grin as she still stood there, looking down at him, "because you can't keep your eyes off me at work, and we are attracted to each other. I'm your guy," he gestured to himself. Sharon rolled her eyes, and she walked to the sink with her plate. She didn't clean it off, but instead, she walked back and sat down in her chair, now almost frustrated. Andy still sat there, the strawberries on his fork, and he gestured for her to move toward him. She eyed him, but she didn't move, so he sat forward and held out the fork to her._

 _"_ _Any idea you have of feeding me in bed as you mentioned," she started to say._

 _"_ _No! You need to eat. Come on, Sharon, eat the strawberries. They're good, and you know you want them. I'm sorry I was teasing you. I understand that we'll put our physical time,- that word better with you, by the way?" He nodded to her, "We'll put what we want on hold until this mess is sorted out. I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to blow off the situation. I know it's serious, but we'll all help you get through it. Rusty will be back here soon. I am sure of it. I was just trying to lighten the mood this morning and to tell you that even with this mess, I had a really good time last night, this morning too," he smiled at her._

 _She finally pursed her lips and then nodded, "I had a good time too, both last night and this morning." She watched Andy yawn, and then, she rolled her eyes, "You didn't get much sleep?"_

 _"_ _Can you blame me?" Andy chuckled lightly. "You completely wore me out, Sharon. I have zero energy."_

 _"_ _Sorry," she frowned slightly. "I suppose I was-"_

 _"_ _You had a lot on your mind, and if I have to take one for the team and be tired today just so that you had a few minutes of enjoyment, then, well," he shrugged._

 _"_ _Few minutes? You're selling yourself short," she tried to hold back a smile as she cupped her coffee mug._

 _"_ _You know what I mean," he nodded to her. "Rusty will be home soon, and we'll resume ahh, normal activities then," he said and gave her a single nod._

Andy had been telling himself that all morning, that Rusty would be home soon. He knew Rusty belonged with Sharon and felt that Sharon's argument to have a protective detail for Rusty was a sound one. A decision would be made by the end of next week, that is if they didn't catch the creep before then, and for several reasons, he hoped it resulted in Rusty back at home. Rusty needed it. Sharon needed it. Sharon needed to get back to normal, with all things, Andy knew, and they both wanted to get back to their little arrangement outside of work. It seemed to be helping both of them, and they really had found a good balance between work and personal.

"What did you want, anyway, Provenza?" Andy snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at Provenza who was writing out a report.

Provenza looked up and said, "I asked if you were coming over for dinner tonight. Rusty could use the support. The captain will work herself to death here-I have no doubt, especially when Rios told her to stay away from Rusty for a few days until this is sorted, but it would be good for him to see some of us."

"I can't tonight, but pencil me in for tomorrow," Andy said. "Wait," he groaned and closed his eyes, "can' tomorrow. I'll take the weekend."

"Hot date, Sir?" Julio grinned at Andy. He turned to Provenza, "I'll come tonight, Lieutenant."

"No date," Andy answered and gestured, "well, only with my AA group tonight. I've told you guys I've had to switch nights lately. I've been going to another meeting night because my ex took over my Thursday nights with family counseling," he rolled his eyes. "Gotta admit, though, that it's helping. We aren't all screaming at each other."

"Lieutenant, I'm free tomorrow," Amy told Provenza.

"I've got Friday," Buzz added, and Andy looked back at Provenza.

"I guess give me the whole weekend. You and I normally hang out for the weekend, so I'll cover meals for the kid and entertain you," Andy acted annoyed and rolled his eyes at Provenza.

"Just get some sleep before then," Provenza grumbled at Andy. "Headache," he grumbled and eyed Andy, trying to figure out his real excuse. "Bring dinner this weekend too, both days, lunch even."

"I'm looking at my headache," Andy smirked and nodded to Provenza. "And, it wouldn't be a normal weekend, Provenza, if I wasn't expected to feed you every meal."

"Just get back to work everyone," Provenza said. "It could be a long couple of weeks, maybe even longer."

By Friday afternoon, Sharon was ready to crack; she wanted to see Rusty, but Emma still didn't think it was a good idea for the two to spend time together. She wasn't sure who might be watching even Sharon. Sharon had tried to argue it, but ultimately, she had to agree Rusty needed to stay safe. Provenza was giving her a daily update, and Sharon was grateful Rusty was at least with some of the team.

After several long days, the team started to filter out of the office early Friday afternoon. Andy, knowing that Sharon would work until she fell asleep at her desk, waited until everyone else had left, almost a silent agreement with the team to keep an eye on Sharon, before he stood and made his way to her door. He stood in the doorway, his arm resting on the doorframe and gave her a soft smile. He'd been busy the last couple of evenings, unable to check on or chat with Sharon, so he wanted to catch up now at the end of the work day.

"Want to get a bite to eat?" Andy asked.

"I'm not hungry," she said. "You don't have to babysit me. I'm fine here," she gestured to the office.

"Let's go eat," he nodded to her. "My treat."

She narrowed her gaze, "You always say that."

He smirked and continued, "Then, you know I mean it. Let's go. What's your fancy? You into Chinese, Mexican, or Italian tonight?"

"I'm not good company, Andy. I'm fine here," she gestured again.

"Sharon," he sighed and waited for her to look at him before he nodded to her. "Please."

She put down her pen, "I'm really not hungry, and I don't feel like going out to eat."

"We can get soup and salad, even eat at your place," he told her.

Sharon glanced up, looking out her windows, and with no one in sight, she lowered her voice, "I do not feel like sleeping with you tonight."

"I wasn't suggesting it!" Andy said quickly. "We're friends, and we've had meals together before. That's all I was suggesting. I'm going to hang with Rusty and Provenza tomorrow. I thought we could eat tonight, and if you have any message to pass to Rusty, I'll be glad to pass it along. I know you, and I'm guessing you haven't had a decent meal the last two nights, right?"

"I'm sorry," she sighed and dropped her head. "I'm not feeling in the mood."

"That's fine," he nodded. "I'm only suggesting food. We talked about this, waiting for Rusty to come home before we picked up things again. I'm not pushing. I hope you know me better than that, Sharon. I'm not a guy standing here trying to take you to bed. I'd simply like your company for a meal, your choice. Just friends."

"Fine," she pursed her lips. "I might be persuaded to eat Italian."

"I know a great place, but if you have somewhere in mind-" he paused and looked to her.

She shook her head, "Wherever you want is fine. Italian actually sounds okay," she said with a single nod.

"Craving Italian?" he winked at her. "I can take care of one part of that Italian craving tonight, and then, in another week or so, I'll take care of all your Italian craving."

"Okay, we're going to stop discussing this," Sharon sighed, her face now a little flushed. "I cannot do this with his life still in limbo."

"Understood," he nodded. "You want to continue with us," he gestured, "but feel badly about Rusty. I'll stop with the comments. Let's go eat. I promise no more teasing."

Sharon paused and looked to him again, "Will you let me know how Rusty is doing after you see him this weekend?"

"Promise," Andy held up his hand. "That's what friends do; we help each other. We can even grab a bite on Monday. I can tell you all about it. Wait," he snapped his finger and put his hand up to his face, "can't Monday. Nic's wedding proofs are back, and she wants us all to have a family dinner to look over them," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh," Sharon sat back, a little surprised, "well, now, that seems like a topic of discussion for this dinner. Let's talk about them because there's not going to be any talk of our arrangement."

"At your service," he gestured to her. "Of course," he smirked, "I like being at your service all the time, whatever you need me to do."


	9. Chapter 9

"So how did you find this place?" Sharon asked as they looked around the tiny restaurant. It was situated in a commercial area, tucked between much larger establishments. The two were almost done with their meal, and they'd had light conversation so far. Andy noted Sharon was eating well; she appeared hungry, and he was glad about that.

"Oh, ahh, a woman I dated briefly after my divorce told me about this place, brought me here," Andy looked up at Sharon and gestured. "Couldn't deny the good food. The relationship with the restaurant lasted, while the relationship with the woman did not."

"I see," Sharon said, chuckling quietly. "It's been open for some time then?"

"Yeah, I think like 25 years or something," Andy added. "I really like the food here."

Sharon put down her fork and sat back in her seat, "You bring your dates here then? I hope you don't see this as that. Do you?"

"Nah," he shook his head and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I mean, that's a no to both. I can't remember the last time I brought a date here, really, had a date," he added. "It's special, and I just reserve it for special people, like you," he winked. "I wanted to share it with my dear friend."

She nodded, "Thank you for bringing me here. I'll be back."

"Glad you like it. Maybe when we need to just hang out, get a bite to eat, this will be somewhere we can enjoy together. Still doesn't change that I'm paying tonight, just so we are clear."

Sharon gave him a small smile, "Thank you. Next time, it's my treat."

"Fine, but just so you know, I often have amnesia. It hits me when I have meals with you," he smirked.

"This was good," Sharon nodded, rolling her eyes at his comment, and she looked around at the place. It was almost 9:30, and the restaurant was emptying for the evening. There were still almost half the tables full, but it wasn't busy. "I didn't realize how much I needed to one-have a decent meal, and two-just get out, away from work and try to think about anything but Rusty."

"I'll see him tomorrow, as I told you," he said to her. "I'll check on him, but you know that Provenza is doing a good job."

"I have no doubt he is, but I just want Rusty back with me. I'm attached to him and he is to me, as well. I thought we would hear more about the plans for him this week, but," she sighed and crossed her hands over her stomach as she started to relax.

"Well, you know my plans for the weekend. What are yours?" Andy asked.

"I was planning to go back to the office in the morning, catch up on paperwork," she explained.

"Sharon," he sighed, "you can't throw yourself into work. You should do something fun. You could go to a movie, shop, go for a drive, clean your condo even," he flashed a grin. "It's not dirty," he waved his hands. "I just know that cleaning sometimes helps you relax, I mean," he flashed a bright grin, "among other things."

Sharon felt herself blushing and looked around the restaurant instead of commenting back to Andy. When she finally looked to him, she changed the conversation, "You mentioned several things going on with your family and even with AA when we were on the elevator. Care to talk about any of it?"

"You are a good listener," he nodded and gave her a small smile. "I really appreciate that about you, how you listen and don't judge. Thank you."

"People make mistakes, all people. I try not to judge when people are trying to repair those mistakes. You're welcome to tell me anything, Andy. I won't think less of you."

"Okay," he sighed and glanced down at his plate. "I switched AA nights as you know, and with that, I'm running into people I either haven't met or don't know that well. I mean, I've seen a lot of the same people over the years, but when you get into a regular night, regular routine of going, you start to learn people's stories. Just this week, I was at my meeting, and this guy got up and said he'd been sober 21 years, all until the day before. He fell off the wagon, Sharon. 21 years," Andy shook his head. "I give him credit that he was right back there that night in the meeting, but even then, he admitted he wasn't sure he could get back on the wagon. It just has me thinking a lot. I've just been down the last couple days. That, with the counseling with my family," he paused and rolled his eyes, "with all this with Rusty, with seeing you so upset, with, just with," he gestured in the air with his hands, "I'm down and maybe a little on edge. I keep thinking back to all the mistakes I've made, even things I still haven't fixed. I just wonder if one day I'll be that guy, falling off the wagon after so long."

Sharon listened and just watched him. She nodded as he finished, and then, she pursed her lips, "First, thank you for talking. I'll always be here to listen. As we both know, no one knows what the future holds. Life is short. You're right," she crossed her arms as she sat up and looked at him. "You could fall off the wagon tomorrow, but you could stay sober the rest of your life. You recognize that, and I know you are going to do everything to avoid going down that road."

"Yeah," he said, leaning forward, his elbows on the table. He crossed his fingers and almost rested his chin on them, "I just can't describe what I'm feeling. It's like I sat there, listening to that guy talk about how he felt all alone, felt like a lot of his life was in a spiral, felt like he could never right some mistakes, and honestly, that's how I feel even right now. I could relate to him, and that is almost scary."

Sharon, now, sat forward and rested her elbows on the table too, mainly to speak to Andy in a more private setting, to convey that this was between them. She pursed her lips as she thought about what to say, "You are never alone. I will always be here for you, to listen, to support you, to offer whatever I can."

"Thanks," he said, his hand in the air as a gesture. "I'm sorry; I feel like I've had a pity party all week. It's just been this week, a lot going on as you know. The last thing I need is to burden you with my problems."

"Oh," she raised her eyebrows in surprise, "because I'm supposed to pour out my heart and soul to you over my troubles, but it doesn't go both ways? No," she shook her head, "I want to know what is bothering you. That's what friendship is. You've been there for me and helped me so much. I am happy to help if I can, whether it's listening to you, whatever."

Andy nodded quietly before he spoke, "This dinner, I didn't realize how much I needed it too, needed to just talk and be normal. I thought I was helping you out, but turns out, this meal really helped me. Thanks for agreeing to it."

"It runs both ways," she gave him a soft smile. "Thank you for being persistent, for knowing that I needed to get out of the office, even when I wanted to just bury myself in paperwork."

"Ahh," he raised an eyebrow, "so, does that mean you'll stay away from work tomorrow?"

"No comment," she eyed him quickly. "Tomorrow is a new day, and what I may or may not do, I'm not sure yet."

"Okay," he chuckled quietly. "So," he gestured around the restaurant, "may I interest you in dessert? They have great cheesecake."

"I'm too full," Sharon admitted as she laughed. "I didn't realize how hungry I really was. Thank you."

"You can always take a slice to go," he offered. "Just take it home and enjoy later."

She cringed and let out her breath before she met his gaze, "In the interest of sharing, I am not going home."

He sat back, surprised, and he eyed her, "Where are you going, back to work?"

"I've been staying at a hotel the last two nights," she admitted. "I am worried about being at home alone."

"You've had a threat?" Andy said, now sitting up, clearly worried.

"No, no," she said, waving her hands. "It's nothing like that. I can't stand being at home without Rusty there. I know it's silly. I lived alone for years before Rusty came into my life. I'm a grown woman, but I just get myself worked up without him at home. I see his things everywhere-his room, his chess board, food in the refrigerator-it's just a lot. I know it's silly, but I feel like I don't relax at all while I'm home," she said with a deep breath and long sigh. "I'll go home, when, I'm not sure, but I just need to regroup. I can't believe how much this is all bothering me."

"Sharon, why didn't you tell me you've been staying at a hotel? That isn't something you should do," he frowned at her. "You should have called me, told me that it was too much. You could have stayed with me."

She shook her head slightly, "I don't want to impose, and how would that look? It's only a matter of time before the team finds out I'm staying at a hotel. They don't need to think of me staying with you. We've kept our personal things out of work, and I don't want to start now. Besides," she gestured to him, an almost bashful smile on her face, "who are we kidding? Even if you invited me to stay with no intentions of things heating up between us, we both know it would happen. We seem to have an almost magnetism."

"Can't argue," he smiled, his eyes staring at hers. "Still, it seems we are both sitting here, down on things in our lives, and we tried to keep that from each other. Friends shouldn't do that."

"You're right," she agreed and nodded. "Friends should help each other." Her eyes locked on his, and she cleared her throat, still looking at him. He looked back at her, finally breaking eye contact when the waiter dropped off the check. He'd gestured for that a few moments earlier, and Andy quickly threw his credit card onto the table and looked back at Sharon. She was still looking at him, almost the same way he knew she'd been staring at him while at work.

Sharon cleared her throat again, and that caught Andy's attention. He looked back at her, "I can tell you are struggling. I see it in your eyes. This, this," she gestured, "man from AA really got to you?"

"Yeah," he sighed and dropped his head. "I guess hearing him talk about all the mistakes he's made, and here's another one, falling off the wagon. I've made so many mistakes, Sharon. I'm not proud of the life I've lived. I guess I just see that I could be that guy, that one of these days, it could be more than I could take. I've just been struggling in the evenings at home. I haven't slept well."

"You should have called," she sighed.

"Right back at you," he gestured. "You're staying in a hotel."

Sharon rolled her eyes slightly and looked back at him, "With all of what you have going on, you don't need my problems."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Again, right back at ya."

"We're quite the pair," she sighed.

"So, you're really going to a hotel tonight?" he asked, giving her a slight frown.

"Yes," she said, drawing out the word. "It has helped. I might go home this weekend, but I might not. I guess I feel like I'm getting away from some of my problems."

"Some?"

"Some," she repeated and eyed him. "You're going to go home and plan to tell yourself not to drink while you think about falling off the wagon?"

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Back to you," he gestured, "what problems aren't you getting away from at the hotel?"

"Back to you," she nodded to him, "and," she raised her hand, "before you say I'm changing the subject, just hear me out. We discussed putting physical needs," she glanced around the room, "on the back burner because of Rusty. You more than helped me the other night. If that needs to be back on the table, say tonight, for me to help you, I can and will. I don't like the idea of you going home alone and thinking about drinking. It might also solve a problem of my own, something I can't get out of my mind too."

"I don't like the idea of you sitting in a hotel room hiding from your condo," he pointed to her.

"You skirted my comment," she looked at him. "If I can help you tonight, help you at least put drinking out of your mind, help at least see that you can have a night to not think about it, I will help. We are friends, and our, thing," she used her hand to gesture in the air, "is about what we both need. I was selfish to say we had to table it because I'm worried about Rusty. So, I'm offering," she gave a last nod.

The waiter stopped by with the check again, and Andy nodded to him. He took the bill and signed the credit card slip as he put his credit card away. Sharon picked up her purse and dug around in it.

"Sharon, I told you that I was paying," he put his hand out toward her, as if he wouldn't accept money from her. "End of discussion."

Sharon waved him off, and she pulled out a card. She put it on the table by his hand sliding it right under his fingers, and he raised an eyebrow after he glanced at it. It was a hotel card.

"I'm in Room 221," she said. "This isn't about only what I want or need, but it goes both ways. Take this, use it if you want, and just know if I can help, I will," she said as she stood. "I'm going to use the restroom and then head out. Thank you for dinner," she said with a small smile. "We both needed an evening out, and if I don't see you tonight, please tell Rusty I have been asking about him."

With that, Sharon turned, her pursed tucked under her arm, and she walked toward the restroom, which happened to be near the restaurant's entrance. Andy watched her walk away; he couldn't keep his eyes off of Sharon as walked, her head held high, her heels and long legs staring right back at him. He'd had a very long week. He sat there, fingering the card, thinking about everything. They had been together just a few days ago now, but it felt like an eternity. Was that really some of his problem, that he wanted to sleep with Sharon again? Instead of leaving, Andy put down the card, flagged down the waiter, and he ordered a cup of coffee. Truthfully, he wanted something much stronger. He could almost taste the alcohol swirling around in his mouth, but for the moment, coffee would have to do. He wasn't going anywhere right now.


	10. Chapter 10

Sharon had specifically asked for a room not near the elevator, but she could still hear it halfway down the hall. The early morning sunlight broke through between her closed drapes, and she sighed, grateful she'd gotten some sleep. Her memories of the night came back to her as she came out of her sleepy state, and she quickly flipped over to her other side. He was gone. Had he been there or was it a dream? She sat up and spotted the note on the other side of the bed, sitting on the comforter. She reached for it, trying to smooth out the wrinkles on the bed. The bedding was disheveled. Sharon tried to read the note, but she rolled her eyes when she realized that it was too blurry without her glasses. She got up and padded across the room to the desk where she, no he, she remembered, had taken them off the night before and looked back at the note.

"You're right-that was everything I needed. Thanks for taking care of me tonight. I had a great time and hope this was helpful to you too. I needed to go before things got more complicated or awkward this morning. Enjoy your weekend. Will chat soon. Think about going back home. I prefer the privacy of your place or mine."

Sharon smiled, trying to hold back the almost giddy smile from her face. She walked back to the bed and climbed in, pulling up the comforter to get comfortable. She put the note next to her and sat back, thinking about the night she'd had. Certainly, as she sat at her desk working last evening, she hadn't planned to end up with Andy in a hotel room bed, but she wasn't sad that it had happened. It still felt almost wrong to be enjoying his company when Rusty was in turmoil, but on one level, she knew the distraction-the satisfying distraction-was helping her, and she wanted to believe she'd helped Andy too.

 _"_ _How many of these do you have in that purse and have handed out today?" Andy asked, his arm braced against the door where he stood there, fingering the card. It was late, after 11:00, and she'd resigned to the idea he wasn't coming to her room. It was fine, she'd told herself. They'd agreed to cool things for awhile, and they hadn't even made it a single week. The sight of him, though, she had to admit took her breath away. She let out a long sigh of relief when that knock came at her door, even as late as it was._

 _"_ _Just one," she said quietly, smiling at him. "I gave you my own key. I had to get a new card at the front desk when I returned to the hotel. Do you want to come inside?" she gestured to the room._

 _Andy glanced into the room, and then, he looked up and down the hallway. He nodded to Sharon, standing there in leggings and an old t-shirt, "Probably a good idea we don't do what I'm thinking we are going to do in the hallway," he smirked. "By the way, not that I'm complaining, but I prefer the sexy robe you have to that outfit."_

 _Sharon grinned as he walked into the room at her gesture, and she closed the door, turning to him. She nodded to her attire, "You kept me waiting tonight. I thought you knew you never keep a woman waiting. For that, you get this," she nodded again to her clothing. "It's more of a challenge."_

 _Andy dropped his head in a chuckle, and Sharon, before she stepped toward him, turned off the lights. She clasped his hand in hers as she walked by him, "My turn to help you forget things tonight."_

As she recalled their night, she rolled over to her side, almost wishing he would magically appear. He'd gone home, and she had no idea what time that had occurred. Maybe it was too much. She did need to make sure he wasn't sitting at home, an empty bottle by his side. She thought he seemed better when they had both gone to sleep. Once they had finished, Andy had disappeared into the bathroom, and she'd heard him turn on the shower. Sharon had dozed during that, and she woke up again when he'd gotten back into bed to go to sleep. They'd resumed their normal spots, not touching, on either side of the bed, and neither had said much. Sharon had slipped into the bathroom a few minutes later, and when she'd returned to bed, he was snoring lightly. That was the last thing she remembered, so at some point, he'd decided to go home. She was glad he'd left a note; things seemed to be okay between them, but she did want to make sure he hadn't left her and gone straight to a bar.

"I didn't realize I had to promise breakfast to keep you here," she said in a text to him. It seemed like a good idea, to keep things light between them this morning. She put down her phone, hoping that he was just at his house, maybe even thinking about their evening too.

"I'm fine," he told her, replying immediately. "I didn't drink, and I know you wondered about that. Thanks for last night. Wanted to give you some space and get some rest myself. Couldn't sleep well on that mattress, but haven't slept here either."

"Sorry about that," she bit her lip as she typed. "Changing up the location was fun, but next time, you pick-your house or mine. I'll leave you to your weekend."

"We can discuss next time the next time," he said. "Chat later."

Sharon put down her phone and leaned back, trying to decide what she wanted to do with her day. She wasn't in the mood for much of anything; she didn't feel like calling up any of her friends for the day. Shopping didn't appeal to her right now. Getting coffee with someone didn't appeal to her right now. She really just wanted to stay in the hotel room and do nothing. She knew she needed to go back to the condo; she couldn't stay at the hotel forever. Looking over to where Andy had been a few hours earlier, she rolled her eyes. Yes, she needed to go home. Part of the reason the hotel had been appealing is that he wasn't there. She wasn't constantly thinking of him as she looked around her condo. The "him" was actually a mix of thoughts of Rusty and of Andy. She'd gone back and forth, thinking of Rusty in all of the common areas and then of Andy when she'd stepped into her bedroom. Now, he'd been here, in her bed at this hotel, and she needed to just go home. She'd go home tomorrow; she decided that right now. She'd relax today, as best she could, and she'd go home after Mass tomorrow, ready to face a new week. Hopefully, by the end of the week, Rusty would be back home. She needed him at home. She wanted him at home, where he belonged. After that, she could hopefully find a time to reconnect with Andy. The two had barely been apart a few days, and it had driven her crazy. Yes, now that she'd tested the waters, she couldn't get enough. Putting things on hold at least a full week was going to drive her insane, but she would do it. She'd anxiously wait, dreaming of the next time she could climb into his bed.

Now, almost three weeks later, Sharon sat at her desk and tapped her pen. She was having trouble focusing, but she had a large stack of paperwork to sign. She glanced up as Rusty walked by her door. She couldn't help but smile, a huge one at that, as she watched him stuff potato chips in his mouth. He was home, home with her, where he belonged. That negotiation didn't happen on its own; it came with a set of rules, a list of guidelines, but he was back with her. He had constant supervision with a security detail, something he hated, but they'd both accepted it because it allowed Rusty to stay with Sharon. Sadly, the stalker had not been found. Not much progress had been made in that area, but Sharon was hopeful the stalker would be found soon. She'd volunteered the team to look into the matter, but Emma had vetoed that for now; she wanted to keep Major Crimes out of the situation. The team was already involved with Rusty, and Emma felt outside eyes and ears would be better. Sharon disagreed completely, but for now, she knew how to pick her battles.

It was September, and she was finally starting to breathe again. The last three weeks had been long, really long, and the hotel room she'd caught herself just thinking about, seemed like a distant memory. Sleeping with Andy, even now, seemed like a distant memory; however, it too, had happened now three weeks ago, not that Sharon was keeping the date in her memory. It wasn't like they were in some dry spell, but it felt like it. The cases had piled up for them, and Rusty's situation had changed, bringing him home. With the extra security and Rusty around her more, it was making it harder and harder to figure out a time with Andy, but she was determined.

Sharon looked out her window just in time to see Andy slam down the phone. She jumped slightly, as she could almost feel the vibration of that, the frustration in his tone, sitting there at her desk. He'd been extremely frustrated the last few days, but they'd been stuck in a couple of cases. On top of that, she thought she could pinpoint part of his frustration, the same frustration she was feeling too. She really needed to look at the calendar and schedule a night with him. With that thought in mind, she turned to her calendar. It was Friday. Rusty had finished his schoolwork, and judging by the way he was stuffing his face with potato chips just a few minutes ago, he was hungry. She needed to get him home and fed. He had plans with Buzz and Julio the next morning, but with that, there really wasn't enough time to schedule anything with Andy. The guys had mentioned before they'd be happy to spend some time with him on the weekends, and she felt safe knowing that Julio, Buzz, and then Rusty's detail were going anywhere he was going. She had an idea and stood, walking into the office from her side door. Andy glanced up, the phone again, resting between his shoulder and chin, as he looked to be on hold.

"Rusty," she called over to him, and he popped up from behind the screened area. "Did you three decide on your plans for tomorrow?" She looked toward Julio and to Buzz as she spoke.

"Oh, about that, Ma'am," Julio looked to her. "My mother needs me to run some errands with her. Work has been so crazy, so would it be possible to move our outing to even Sunday? I know you two have Mass as do I, but I'd like to get my mother's errands done. She's been nagging me about them all week."

"Works for me too, Captain," Buzz said with a small smile.

Sharon nodded and turned to Rusty, "Rusty does that sound okay with you?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "I mean, I'm cool if you guys want to catch a movie DURING Mass, you know," he smirked, "so I have a reason not to go with Sharon, but yeah, anything to get me out of the condo is cool. Sunday works."

"Okay then," Sharon nodded to the group. "Thank you, gentlemen. It's settled; the three of you, along with Rusty's detail, are going to the movies Sunday afternoon," she said as she turned around to head back to her office. She eyed Andy, who was half-listening to the conversation while he was on the phone. He grumbled into the phone and smacked his hand on the desk; something was bothering him, and then, he cradled the phone again.

"Flynn is there a problem over there?" Provenza called to him.

"Just keep being put on hold with records," he said through gritted teeth.

"Lieutenant Flynn, my office please before the end of the day," Sharon paused by his desk and spoke to him. She turned back to the team, "On the same note, please don't stay late. It's been a long few weeks. We're just coming off another call cycle. Go home, enjoy your weekend, all of you," she smiled and eyed Andy before going to her office. He nodded to her, indicating he'd stop in soon.

It was almost an hour later before Andy made it to Sharon's office. He had been busy on the phone with work; she knew that, and she would have expected nothing less for him to finish with that. He was a good detective, a great lieutenant, and he worked hard, especially when wrapping up a case. When he finally did come in to see her, Buzz was the only one left, and he was speaking to Rusty. The two were seated in the far corner of the room, chatting away, oblivious to anything else going on around them.

"Finally finish with your paperwork?" Sharon looked up to him, a sympathetic smile on her face. Andy closed his eyes and groaned as he dropped into the chair.

"Those idiots down in records are just that, complete idiots, total morons," he groaned. Andy leaned his head back in the chair and closed his eyes. Sharon just watched from her chair, her elbows on her desk. She'd been signing paperwork. She stacked a pile and reached into her drawer, pulling out some candy.

"Twizzler?" she asked, holding the bag toward him. He opened his eyes and gave her an odd look. She shrugged, "Rusty hates them, so it's about the only thing I can keep around that stays around. The vending machine was out of crackers, and I was hungry."

"You never eat junk like that," he chuckled, reaching for a piece of the candy. "Thanks."

"Shows you how hungry I was," she hummed as she smiled at him. "So," she cleared her throat. "How have you been, aside from ready to kills records."

"Just a lot going on, personal life and all," he mumbled. "We haven't had much time to talk with our crazy cases. I'm really glad Rusty is back home-where he belongs," he added. "You are much more relaxed, much happier."

"I am," she nodded in agreement. "With you, is the drinking issue still a problem, I mean, thoughts about it? Last time we-" she paused there and looked to him.

"There's a lot I want to discuss with you," he jumped in right away. "A lot."

"Okay," she gave him a small nod. "That's part of the reason I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"Listen, Sharon," he sighed, "I can't get into it tonight. I have plans-a family counseling session because we've had this case. It's been going okay, good even," he nodded.

"Right, sure," she waved her hand. "I'm glad to hear that, and I couldn't get together tonight anyway. Rusty," she nodded toward him. "I know you were on the phone before, but Sunday afternoon, I'm free if you want to," she batted her eyes at him, trying to set the mood, "see where the afternoon takes us," she finished.

"Oh, yeah," he sat up, a half smile on his face. "It's been awhile. I've been so busy."

"Have to admit," she blushed, "craving it, really looking forward to it," she eyed him. "Rusty will be with Buzz and Julio. They set the plans while you were on the phone." Sharon shifted and rested her cheek on her hand, her elbow on her desk. Andy instantly dropped his head and groaned.

"Sharon," he muttered, "that's the look, the pose. That's the 'I've been completely satisfied' pose I was talking about, the one you do with me when we are in bed."

"Oh," Sharon instantly sat up and shrugged slightly when he glanced at her. "Sorry. I promise I wasn't trying to tempt you with that."

"Worked," he smiled. "Sunday, you say?"

"After Mass," she frowned slightly. "I suppose I should probably go to confession first."

Andy eyed her, "You think? There's still that technicality that you are married."

"Gray area," she nodded to him. "Legally separated is legally separated. Anyway, after Mass?"

"I'll be there-your place, right?" he asked.

"My place works if that is okay with you?" Sharon gave him a questioning glance.

"Yeah, fine," he waved. "Might have breakfast with the kids or something. We've been trying to find a day for that, and they live closer to you than they do to me. Anyway," he glanced at his watch, "I need to get going to counseling. Need anything else from me?"

"No," she smiled up at him as he stood. In a teasing tone, she added, "Just need you, at my condo, Sunday afternoon. It's been too long."

"Indeed, it has," he winked and waved to her as he left. Sharon watched him leave, and after he waved to Buzz and Rusty, she started to collect her things. Her weekend plans were scheduled.

Sunday, Sharon was a flurry of activity after morning Mass. She and Rusty had decided to go to the earlier service, mostly so that Rusty would have more time with Buzz and Julio. Sharon hadn't argued because it gave her some time at the condo alone before Andy came to see her. She'd spent Saturday running some basic errands. They needed groceries, and she had to pick up the dry cleaning. Rusty had decided to stay at home, which was fine with his security detail outside. Sharon had purposely left out one of her errand stops when telling Rusty about her day, and that errand was possible when he decided to stay home. She'd stopped by a local boutique to find something new to show Andy. It was an odd situation; they weren't a couple, but what they were doing was definitely intimate, extremely intimate. He'd seen the couple of pieces of nice lingerie she had, and really, she needed to step up her game. Her undergarment collection as a whole was in sad shape. She'd been wanting to update things like bras anyway, and she managed to squeeze in a lot of shopping in the hour she had to spare.

That idea had been floating around in her head for quite some time, and it wasn't until she had coffee last week with her friend, Diane, that she'd felt that nudge to go. Diane had been listening to Sharon's accounts for the last few weeks. The two had been cancelling coffee dates for the last month or so, even longer if she really thought back to how long now she'd been sleeping with Andy, but with Rusty's situation and work, she hadn't had time to catch up in person with Diane. Their schedules just never seemed to mesh, but she'd been keeping her updated on the phone. Finally, last week, they'd gotten coffee while Rusty stayed late one evening for school. Thankfully, it hadn't been a case night, and the two had enjoyed catching up when it had been way too long.

 _"_ _Let me see a picture of this lieutenant of yours," Diane had gestured across the small bistro style table to Sharon, her fingers moving, wanting Sharon's phone. "I know you have to have a picture of him somewhere. I should have asked you for a picture before now."_

 _"_ _Hold on," Sharon nodded. "I know I have a recent one from his daughter's wedding," she said as she scrolled through her photos._

 _"_ _Ahh, the night this all began, the night you finally let down your guard. I can see a subtle change in you; you are a little more relaxed, but who wouldn't be after having-" she stopped talking when Sharon handed her phone to her._

 _"_ _Him?" Diane's eyes darted to Sharon, and she raised her eyebrows. Sharon's face went white, almost like she had seen a ghost, and she gestured to Diane. Something in the tone made it sound like there was a horrible problem. She'd pulled up a photo of the two of them from Nicole's wedding, one that she thought was a great photo._

 _"_ _Yes, that's Andy," she said quickly. "Why? Oh, please don't tell me you've slept with him or something," Sharon groaned and dropped her head. Diane had been divorced almost 15 years, and she'd had a few relationships here and there, but nothing serious. Diane enjoyed meeting men as much as possible._

 _"_ _No," Diane smiled, "but I can't believe you are. Nice work. I might have tried if I'd seen him first. You're telling me he works just a few feet from your office, and it took this long?"_

 _Sharon rolled her eyes and reached for her phone, sighing. She looked to her friend, "We work together."_

 _"_ _And, now you sleep together," she nodded. "No wonder you can't get enough of him. He's a huge improvement over Jack, huge," she repeated._

 _"_ _Some of my suspects are an improvement over Jack," Sharon said sarcastically and shook her head._

 _Diane smiled, "Can't deny that, but why are you here with me when you could be sneaking in time with him?"_

 _"_ _Not enough time," Sharon waved. "Besides, he goes to AA in the evenings often. I wanted to catch up with you."_

 _Diane looked her up and down, "Have you done much shopping lately?"_

 _"_ _No, work has been busy. Why?" Sharon asked, surprised at the change in topic._

 _Diane smirked and then smiled at her, "To keep that one interested, you'd better do some shopping. You've been out of the game too long, and trust me, he'll appreciate you doing some shopping."_

 _Sharon shook her head, "He's perfectly content with me."_

 _"_ _Content?" Diane raised her eyebrow as she sipped her coffee. "You are sleeping with a man, a good looking man, a man with whom you work, a secret relationship, a man you've told me has plenty of experience, and you think he'll stay because he's content? Sharon, a guy like him, a ladies' man, you need to step up things. He won't stay around forever."_

 _Sharon shook her head, "Andy's not like that, not exactly. He has been in a lot of relationships, but it's different. This isn't that, and we both are enjoying it. It works for us. Besides," she paused to sip her tea, "we're friends, and this is just what we need and want right now."_

 _"_ _Okay, fine," she held up a hand in defense, "just tell me this-if you have lingerie or anything in those drawers of yours that is from the Jack era, please throw them out and buy something new. It's time."_

 _Sharon had listened, and sadly, she had to admit Diane had been right, at least about the "Jack era" of her wardrobe. While Jack hadn't seen some of the things she'd purchased because, well, he'd taken off one too many times, she did have things that were that dated. Later that night, well after Rusty had gone to bed, Sharon had cleaned out her drawers, and she'd even sent a quick picture to Diane, a garbage bag, half full, with just the comment, "Happy now?" Diane had replied with a simple, "That's a start."_

Now, home from Mass and alone, Sharon put her purse down and toed out of her shoes. Before she could even walk into the kitchen, her phone alerted her to a text message, "Just arrived at your building. Now a good time?"

She froze; he was here, and he was early. She smiled at the thought of a few hours with him, and she quickly typed back, "Just got home myself. I'm alone. Come on up."

Andy didn't reply, and she didn't have time to change, which is what she really wanted to do. She was still in her navy dress from church, but it was fine. She giggled to herself, thinking that at least it was easy to take off her dress, better than one of her work suits. Maybe, if they had time, she'd unveil some of her new attire later, but now, she almost couldn't wait for him to arrive. Sharon checked her appearance in the mirror and decided to wait for him at the door. It was hard not to be almost giddy; she felt like a teenager sneaking around. She opened her door and leaned against her doorway. It felt like an eternity, and finally, she heard the elevator. Andy came walking around the corner a few seconds later, his hands in his pockets. She cleared her throat to get his attention, and he looked up at her.

"Oh, wow," he sighed, as she stood there, her leg bent against the door. "You're a sight."

"Hi," she said in a soft, seductive tone with a slight smile. She bit her lip as he walked closer, thinking about their last time together and just how long it had been in her mind.

"You're going to hate me," he shook his head and nodded inside, "Can I come in?"


	11. Chapter 11

"You look upset," Sharon pointed out to him as she gestured for him to walk into the condo. "Oh, I know," she grinned as he stepped by her. She reached for and squeezed his side while running her hand over his stomach, "You are disappointed I didn't change for you. You're a little early, Lieutenant. If you give me a moment, I have something new for you, something I think you will enjoy," she laughed, her eyes sparkling as she turned to close the door. When she glanced to him again, he stood there, looking down and shaking his head.

"Andy," she stepped to him and looped her finger through his belt loop, pulling herself toward him, dropping her head, trying to meet his gaze. "What's wrong?"

He waved his hand but didn't speak.

"Clearly something is wrong," she sighed. "It's been awhile, and I'm ready to undress you right here, but nothing I'm saying is even getting a second glance," she pulled on his belt loop, trying to get him to look at her. He stilled her hands.

"Sorry," he sighed. "I've got a lot on my mind."

"I can help," she said in a low tone as she reached up and kissed his neck. "What can I do?"

"Talk, please," he finally said, stepping away just a step back from her. "I need to talk."

"Sure, of course," she said, crossing her arms and clearing her throat. She slightly shook her head, "Let's sit. Sounds like you need a friend."

"I do, someone to listen," he explained. "Don't be mad, but I can't," he nodded toward her room and sighed, "I just need to talk."

"Andy," she put her hand on his broad arm and squeezed it, "we are friends above anything else. I'm worried. Please sit," she said, tugging him toward the couch. Andy nodded and followed her. She sat on the couch and nodded to the other end of it. Andy sat down and almost melted into the cushions; he sat back and put his hand up to his face.

"I've got a mess," he sighed, "but maybe not."

"Okay," she said slowly.

"I just need you to not get angry, just be cool," he explained.

Sharon narrowed her gaze, the confusion evident on her face. She shook her head slightly like she didn't understand, and then, trying to break the tension and still in her flirty state because, well, she'd been thinking-daydreaming about him, undressing him and more, for hours now. She met his stare and gave him a soft smile, "Andy, I'm not going to get angry with anything you tell me. We're friends. Wait," she said in a half-joking tone as she chuckled, "you're here to tell me you're sleeping with someone else, right? It was fun while it lasted, but you found someone else, someone who is more available to you," she said, reaching over and running her hand on his leg. "That's it, isn't it?"

Andy glanced up to her, just one eye meeting hers, and the look said everything to Sharon. Her face turned to panic, her hands clasped her chest, and she looked to him, terrified of the answer. She cleared her throat, "Andy? Is that it? Oh, gosh," she put her hand to her mouth, "is it even worse? Did you get someone pregnant?"

"No!" Andy said quickly as he gestured wildly. Sharon sat back, a little jumpy, and she put her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'm not going to say anything. I thought this was something simple, and I see that it's not a joking situation. I won't say a word."

"No, not yet I haven't," he gestured wildly as he stood. He started to pace, and Sharon sat there in horror, her hands now over her mouth as she was trying to figure out what he was saying. "It hasn't happened yet," and he sighed while he dropped his head. He stopped talking, and Sharon just shook her head. After he didn't speak, she finally did.

"You haven't gotten someone pregnant yet?" she tilted her head to ask him.

"No," he sighed. "It has nothing to do with that, thank goodness. It's the sleeping part; I haven't slept with her yet, at least not for a long time."

Sharon's eyes widened, and she pursed her lips, an idea of what he might say, but needing him to say it, "I'm listening," she finally said, wanting to say more, but trying to let him speak. Andy looked over to her and finally sat back down on the couch, reaching for her hand to squeeze it.

"It's Sandra," he said, and Sharon's eyes widened at that. He nodded, like he agreed it seemed crazy, "You know we've been all going to counseling now for awhile, even before the wedding, but since the wedding, it's become more of full family counseling, including Sandra. What she didn't tell all of us, not until last week, is that she and the idiot-her current husband-are separated, now getting a divorce. She didn't want to ruin Nic's wedding, but the two have been on the outs for months. They've been living in the same house, again, because they didn't want to upset Nic or the wedding plans. Now that it's all over, he's moved out, and the house is up for sale. Divorce is pending. She finally came clean."

"So," Sharon cleared her throat again and gestured with her hand in the air, "you want to start sleeping with your ex?"

"No, I mean, maybe, I mean yes, I mean," he groaned, "I don't know. There's so much history there."

"Right," Sharon pulled her hand and stood. She started to pace before she walked to the windows to look out over her balcony. "Andy, if you want us to stop sleeping together, just tell me. It's fine," she waved. "I know I wasn't what you wanted. In fact, I was given advice to step up my game, to actually try to be more of what you want, in the bedroom, I mean," she said, glancing over to him. "If you want to stop, to go back to you ex, it's, it's fine," she said and crossed her arms as she looked out over the city.

"Look, I'm doing a terrible job with this," Andy said as he stood. He walked up behind her and put his hands on her hips, resting his head on the top of hers. His fingers splayed out, and as much as Sharon wanted to pull away from him, she'd missed his touch too. She stood there to hear him out, "This isn't just about sleeping with her or not sleeping with you. Do not think that what we have wasn't a good thing, a fun thing. Sharon, you have been amazing. I've told you that you've worn me out many times. I can't get enough of you; there's something electric about us when we've been together. If I was just wanting that, you'd be it, but lately, Sandra, she's been talking; we've been talking. It's been almost nice to have a friendly conversation with her. It's like she was testing the waters with us before she said anything about being divorce, or I guess, in the process of a divorce. I don't know what is going to happen, but she would like more, maybe us again. The more and more I look back on things, I want to have some happy ending too. I want someone, and the you and I," he paused, "we just want to have fun. It's like now I'm realizing we have different priorities, and that's fine. It was great while we were both able to enjoy it, but now, I realize I want more. It started to hit me, even before Sandra suggested we see where things go, it hit me the other morning when I couldn't stop staring at you while you slept. It reminded me of what it had been like to wake up to my wife long ago. That's part of the reason I couldn't stay the night we slept together at the hotel. It was getting too hard, and while you've been amazing, I just am looking for something more now. We have different priorities."

Sharon had been silently nodding as he spoke, just slightly, as his head was still resting on hers. It was almost easier the two weren't looking at each other, but somehow, this conversation, with the two standing together, it felt right, intimate enough to discuss something that was extremely intimate. She finally quietly said, "I'm sorry I can't be enough for you, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm still married, in the legal eyes, yes, and that is my problem. If our situation is not working for you, I can't stop you from finding happiness."

"Sharon," he sighed, "I know I've hurt you. I don't even know if this will work. She and I spent years spewing insults at each other. Now she's divorced, and a relationship can be back on the table, maybe. There's so much baggage there, even things she doesn't know. I've kept things from her, big things, and it may not work out."

Sharon pulled from his grasp and finally turned to him, her eyes not bright now, but trying to hold back tears, if she had to be honest. She shook her head at him, "Do not apologize to me. This has never been a relationship. It has been two people enjoying a physical act, nothing more. We can keep our friendship, just a more professional one," she nodded. "At least," she tilted her head, "I hope we can. Did you tell Sandra you've been sleeping with me? That could be an issue since she knows we work together."

"No," he frowned. "I told her I had a 'friends with benefits' type of situation going on, and she accepted that. I didn't tell her the person, and she didn't ask. I don't want to get into specifics. I feel like if we go forward, what happened before that happened. She was married, and I don't want the details. Whatever you and I did, we just move forward. I want to keep our friendship. You get me, and at work, we are in sync more than anyone I've ever worked with, and I think you feel the same. I don't want this to be awkward; this can't be awkward," he added. "This with Sandra might blow up on me later, but it might be something amazing too," he said with a small smile. "She and I have to be able to accept the past, and I'm not sure she can. I have so many skeletons and did so much damage. She's never heard all of it, and I'm worried she will be disgusted by me-more than she when we seemed to hate each other- when she hears it all."

"I just want you to be happy, Andy," Sharon said, putting her hand on his chest, right over his shirt buttons. "If I could provide that in ahh, entertainment," she softly sighed, "I'm glad I could help, but if you need more, it's okay to walk away. I never expected to have so much fun with you, to have enjoyed these last couple of months as I did. Even the first night we slept together, I can still see it all, and I would have been okay with just one night. All of this," she nodded to herself, "it's opened my eyes to what could be for me, that life can be enjoyable again."

"I just can't stand the idea of us not getting along, not being close, not being able to talk to each other," he frowned. "I don't want it to be too weird. I want to sit in your office and talk about weekend plans without it being too much," he explained.

"Look," she reached for his hands and clasped them, "we didn't know if sleeping together would work-"

Andy grinned at that, and he had to chuckle, "Come on, Sharon, we knew it would work. We both knew how to do that."

She rolled her eyes, "I meant that we didn't know if we could handle it, keeping it out of work. I think we've done a good job, and I think we can be mature about this and handle it too."

"I'm not even sure I'm doing the right thing with her," he shook his head. "I mean, deep down, I care about her, and she was off limits when she was married. I know I messed up my marriage; I destroyed it. She was always great, and yeah, we fought, but it was mainly because I drank and ruined things. I still am sick about that, as well as everything that has happened since. I just," he sighed and looked down, their hands still joined, "I'm not sure I can clear the air with her."

"You need to do that," Sharon squeezed his hand. "You both need to do that to have a healthy relationship or any chance of one."

"There's just so much," he shook his head. "I'm not proud of the man I am, the man I was," he said.

"Do you want to try with her?" Sharon met his gaze.

"I mean, I think so," he nodded. "I'm here telling you that we can't have these steamy, smoking hot times together anymore. Most people would say I'm an idiot for walking away from that to stir up things with my ex again, maybe even Provenza if he knew," he chuckled. "I don't want to hurt you either."

"I'm a big girl," Sharon said with a small smile. She started to chuckle, "I admit that I'm glad to hear someone isn't pregnant."

"Could you imagine?" Andy made a face. "I think I should be horrified you suggested it, but why did you go right to that and sleeping with someone?"

Sharon shook her head slightly, "I can't put my finger on it, but there was a look on your face. I could just see it, and I knew it had to do with that."

Andy nodded to himself, "You're good; you've always been good, at many things," he winked with a small smile. "I'm sorry I've been short at work. It wasn't directed at you. It's been a lot, and Sandra just dropped the bomb on me last night about all of this. I mean, we've been getting coffee after the sessions. The kids know nothing about that, but we've been chatting, and I guess I didn't see my frustrations growing or know really the origin. I think, deep down, it's maybe that idea something could still be there. She feels it too."

"Well then," Sharon tried to smile at him, "seems you two need to do a lot of talking and thinking. I understand complicated. My life has been that, and in a way, I'm just seeing it now. You need to talk to her, tell her these secrets you keep mentioning. She'll understand; she loves you."

"I'm not sure because I don't even like myself," he sighed. "I've made a mess of my life, of other lives, even you too," he gestured at Sharon. "If I hadn't started sleeping with you, I wouldn't have made this mess."

Sharon reached for his arm and squeezed it, "WE," she emphasized, "made the decision to sleep together, not just you. In fact, I believe I seduced you, so do not start with that. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone," she nodded. "Anyone can be forgiven if they truly repent and want to ask for forgiveness, if they are trying to change. I believe that."

He eyed her, "Is that why you stay married to Jack?"

"I've held out hope he would, yes," she told him.

"Even now?" Andy asked.

Sharon pursed her lips, "Sometimes there isn't a 'we' anymore," she nodded to him. "However, that isn't the topic of discussion here; your situation is."

"Right," Andy nodded. "I'm so sorry," he eyed her.

She shook her head, "Be happy, Andy. I'm fine, really."

"You need to know you are amazing; we were amazing," he looked at her. "The two of us, it was something I really needed and hadn't had. Thank you for that."

"I feel the same, and we will be fine at work," she looked to him. Her hand reached to his cheek and she patted it, "You deserve the best, and I hope you find what you want."

"Same for you," he said. "Sorry I can't be your guy on call anymore. Just so you know, I'm going to talk to Provenza about Sandra, but I won't mention to him or anyone what you and I had going. That's never going further than right here," he gestured to them.

"You should see if you can meet up with Sandra," Sharon encouraged him. Andy met her eyes, and he finally nodded. Andy opened his arms to give her a hug, and both gravitated toward each other, almost as if that final hug was an unspoken expectation. He kissed her cheek, and without any prompting, both turned and embraced in a deep kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but then, both pulled back, almost in joint agreement that was it, their final mention of anything that had gone on between them. He nodded to her, and then, he looked to the door. Sharon stood there, now her arms loosely crossed.

"Thanks for everything," he said again. "Sorry I ruined your afternoon plans."

"I've been putting off cleaning anyway, especially cleaning out my closet," she waved and followed him to the door. "See you at work," she told him.

He nodded, "Find some happiness, Sharon," he said as he squeezed her arm at the door. "If you find another guy to fill my role and even want to tell me, I'm okay with that. We just aren't wanting the same things anymore."

"Right," she nodded to him.

"I mean, you can share his name, just as long as it's not Provenza," he flashed a grin.

Sharon started to laugh, and she continued to do so as she almost pushed him out the door. After she closed it, she sank back against it, realizing for the first time that up until now, she'd been all wrong about Andy.

"What am I doing?" she said to herself.


	12. Chapter 12

"I see no problems with this training schedule, Lieutenant," Sharon looked over the top of the file folder across the desk at Lieutenant Provenza. The two had been in a meeting now over an hour, their standard monthly meeting to go over schedules, training, and the like. "My, we've been talking quite awhile today," she said, sitting back in her chair where she let out her breath. She gave a sideways glance out to the team, mainly toward Andy, and she noted everyone seemed to be hard at work.

"And a year ago, we thought we couldn't be in the same room together," Provenza pointed to her and started to chuckle. He made a note in the file folder he had in front of him, and he looked over at her. "You look tired. Rusty still stressing you out? We'll find this stalker of his. Don't tell me that's keeping you up at night. Kid is back home with you."

"No," she gave him a half smile as she took off her glasses to wipe at her eyes. She was tired. "I'm okay actually, just a long week. If anything, I've been up late helping Rusty with an essay he has for English, both a written version and condensed speech. He's needed more help with the written part. Talking to people has never been a problem."

"He's a good kid, Captain, and you're doing a good job with him. I never told you that he seemed lost at my place without you. He was fine, but I knew you would only worry more if you knew he was moping around, but he was. I'm glad the two of you are back together. He belongs with you," he told her.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," she nodded and smiled at him. "I have no plans to send him away. In fact, I hope he is able to finish high school with me this year. If everything holds, he should graduate next summer after summer school. That would be wonderful," she grinned.

"Hard to believe. You should be proud," Provenza nodded at her.

"Everyone has helped. Buzz works so hard with him in other subjects. Remind me to tell Buzz not to ask about Rusty's English assignment," she chuckled. "Buzz, really the whole team-everyone has their strength with Rusty," she said. "I'm grateful for that."

"Speaking of Rusty," he gestured to her, "can I hire him out to clean out my gutters next weekend? You know my place is small, but I don't do ladders, much like I don't run or do any sort of exercise. I also don't hire professionals."

"You are welcome to ask him," Sharon told Provenza. "I think work like that is good for him, and obviously, I have nothing like that for him to do at the condo. I assume you would be paying him in something other than just food?" Sharon was teasing and grinned at Provenza. He waved his hand at her.

"I'll pay him," he sighed. "The kid will eat and drink me out of house and home, but yes, I'll pay him."

"You two are welcome to negotiate that," she gave him another nod. "Anything else?"

"Yes," Provenza said and looked briefly at Andy's desk. "Flynn. You're aware he's trying to work out things with his ex, I presume?"

"Ahh, yes, I was made aware of that," Sharon said. She started stacking paperwork and glanced to Andy again. Provenza watched and sighed, gesturing at her, "That's just it. I know you are worried about him, just as I am. It's got disaster written all over it."

Sharon paused and titled her head at him, "Lieutenant, I am sure that isn't helping Andy. Why do you assume it will be a disaster?"

"It's always a disaster with the ex! Captain, if anyone can attest to that, has experience with that, it's me!" Provenza pointed to himself, "I married one of my ex-wives a second time. It didn't end well. I wish Flynn would take my advice. It never goes well, and the fairy tale of getting over the issues of the past, well, it doesn't work. It's always the ex."

"Andy is a different man than he was when they were married," Sharon pointed out to him. "He's said that, and I believe he wants to change. You and I both know people are capable of change."

"Sandra isn't good for him," Provenza said. "She just isn't, and while he may have changed, that still doesn't make the two of them good for each other."

"Lieutenant," Sharon sighed and met his gaze, "it's not my place. I'm also hardly one to offer relationship advice."

"You're his friend, Captain," he told her. "As much as it pains me to admit that, you two enjoy spending time together."

"We do; we did," she nodded. "Honestly, I haven't spoken to Andy in a couple of weeks, I mean, not outside of the office. He's been busy with things, Sandra included I presume, the last two weeks."

"Can I suggest, and again, I can't believe I'm saying this, that you maybe try to talk to him over lunch? The guy isn't thinking straight. I have thought for awhile now, maybe the last couple months, something was up, that he was hiding something, and now, here it is-Sandra," he frowned.

Sharon tried to not turn red; she knew that SHE, not Sandra, was the source of Andy's behavior the last two months, just up until the last two weeks. She also knew Provenza was an excellent detective and would notice subtle changes in his friend. She just gave him a small shrug, "Lieutenant, I will see if he and I can grab lunch soon. May I assume that if we are able to go to lunch one day, I won't be met with grumbles of things oh, like 'Idiots' or something similar?" she grinned, tilting her head to the side.

"It will be difficult, but I suppose I can convince Julio not to utter such things," he said with a straight face as he stood. Sharon started to quietly chuckle as she nodded at him, and again, she glanced toward Andy. Provenza noticed it too, "See," he shook his hand toward her, "you're worried about him too. No one knows him like I do. I'd appreciate you talking some sense into him."

"I'll try, Lieutenant," she nodded again, and Provenza stepped out of her office. When he'd closed the door, she glanced at Andy again and shook her head. She sighed and stood to turn and look out her windows over the city. "I'd say I have intimate knowledge of him," she muttered to herself, and as she stood there, her arms crossed, she started to let her mind wander.

She did that for a few minutes, and then, she nodded to herself. Provenza was right, at least about getting lunch with Andy. The two had been doing okay at work these last two weeks. Sure, it had been awkward at first, especially that first Monday morning, but he'd flashed his beautiful smile at her in a morning greeting when she walked into the office, and somehow, that seemed to ease their tension. Nothing had been said; they'd both been professional, but now, two weeks later, that's all they had been-complete business. He was her friend, and they'd discussed being friends. With that, she picked up her phone, intent on setting up lunch with him before the week was out. Sure, she could have opened her door and asked him; he was just a few feet away, but it was easier to build up that wall again from the safety of her phone.

"Assuming we don't catch a case, free for lunch tomorrow?" Sharon typed and clasped her phone in her hand as she looked back out her window. The city was busting; it was the end of the work day, and soon, the team would be going home as well. She knew that Lieutenant Provenza would send them out just as soon as he packed up things at his own desk. As she stood there, she decided to add more to her message. She was already nervous, and she didn't want the text message to come across the wrong way. "I hope texting you is okay. It seemed odd to just walk out and ask you at your desk right now. We are friends, and we haven't had time to chat lately-"

Before she could add more, a reply came. She raised her eyes, surprised he'd replied without seeing her explanation, but she glanced at the reply and then over to Andy. Thankfully, he was hunched over his desk, his phone most likely right there in front of him, and she looked back at the message. Sharon smiled when she read it.

"I'd enjoy that very much," he said. "My treat because I said it first, and there's no argument because friends can treat each other to lunch if they want."

Sharon rolled her eyes, and she replied, "I asked you, so with that in mind, it is customary to allow the asking party to pay."

"I owe you. We both know it," he said.

"You don't owe me anything, least of all lunch," Sharon said.

"I'll let you pick the place," he told her.

She glanced at him again, but he still wasn't looking her way, "I asked you. How did this turn around to you paying and me picking?"

"Guess you just have great friends who look out for you," he said. "Looking forward to it. Speaking of food, Rusty has said twice now that he's going to die of starvation if he doesn't eat soon. I'll let you handle that. Night. I'm off to a meeting."

At that, Sharon looked up, and she finally met his gaze. He was now standing at his desk, putting on his suit jacket, and he smiled when he saw her through the blinds. She smiled back and gave him a small wave. He waved at her, gathered his things, and she watched as he walked out with Provenza. It would be awkward, almost unchartered territory, but tomorrow, they would talk.

Later that night, after Rusty had retired to his room to listen to music and play chess, Sharon curled up on her balcony with her phone and a blanket. She was long overdue for a conversation with her friend, Diane. The two had talked briefly after everything had developed with Andy, but Sharon wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing by having lunch with him right now. While they hadn't been in a relationship, it still stung that he wasn't available to her anymore; she'd gotten used to Andy in her bed and she in is, on a somewhat regular basis, and now, she had to admit, she missed it.

"Diane," she sighed after she answered. "Tell me I'm overthinking this."

"Nice to speak to you, Sharon," Diane said. "Now, I don't have a lot of time this evening, as much as I'd love to sit and dish with you. I'm going out soon."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Sharon said.

"You're not. I wouldn't have answered if you were interrupting. Now, the real question should be back to you, asking why you aren't going out with me tonight? We could both use a night on the town, and now that things with that handsome lieutenant are over, you need to find a new friend."

"New friend?" Sharon chuckled. "Dare I ask?"

"You need a new man in your bed, Sharon. That ended, and now that you have a taste of how much fun it can be, you just need to find a new man, one not interested in his ex-wife," she clarified.

"Diane," she chuckled, "I don't need a new man right now. I have Rusty here, and it's not like I'm going to parade a man in and out of here. That was the beauty of Andy. We could work around work and Rusty's schedule."

"The beauty of Andy was the man himself. I admit it will be hard to top his looks, but trust me, Sharon, if a man is interested, he'll make your schedule and almost adult child work with his schedule," she said. "Lucky for me, I don't have those restrictions and hope to find my own new friend tonight."

"You sound so corny," Sharon continued to laugh. "We need to get together for lunch soon."

"That we do, but I'm going to put you on the spot and suggest we do that after you've taken another man to bed, any man, well, except your ex. Jack, we've decided, is not going to happen for you ever again," Diane finished stating.

"That's the one thing you and I can agree," Sharon stated. "Not again. I really don't need you pushing me. I'm fine. I'm handling this just fine, and we are okay at work. In fact, we're going to lunch tomorrow."

"Like real lunch or code for a hotel?" Diane asked.

Sharon groaned, "I am not like that! Real lunch. We're doing just fine," she sighed. "Why are you so set on me finding another man? I don't need a relationship."

"I'm sure he, whatever man you find, doesn't either. You just need a good night with a great guy to take your mind of Andy, to completely close that chapter. Trust me, it helps. Otherwise, you'll think about him, daydream about him. I say that because I've been there. Any of that sound familiar?"

"I, I, ugh, how do you do that?" Sharon asked, hating that Diane was right. She'd thought about Andy often, about their nights together. She couldn't get it out of her mind, no matter how many times she tried to push it away, tried to convince herself it was now just a distant memory.

"Tell me what did you enjoy about your little fling with Andy? I mean, let's go beyond the obvious of you in bed with that man, but what excited you about it all? We figure that out, and I promise you'll see my logic," she explained.

"I don't know," Sharon sighed. "It was just, just," she shook her head and pulled at the blanket on her. "It was exciting, invigorating, almost challenging because we were almost sneaking around. Yes, we're grown adults, but we didn't want it to get out at work. It was comfortable too, I mean, after the initial awkwardness. I knew him; he knew me, and we had a level of trust. We knew it was just what we needed, nothing more. It became addictive, and in a way, I enjoyed that too," she added.

"Exactly, almost addictive, and you can't just walk away from that now. You just need a new man who can provide the same level of needs you had with Andy. The problem is you keep thinking about him. One new guy for one night, and that will push the idea of Andy out of your mind. Think of it this way-if you end the night and have no interest in meeting up with the guy again, fine. You'll have his memory to replace that of your adventures with Andy. If you leave the night, a huge smile on our face, well, you've found a few friend to create new adventures," she said cheerfully.

"Your logic is ridiculous, and I'm not going to go hang in a bar with you to find a man. My luck, it would be a suspect. Besides, how does that even work? Most men want to take you on a date," she said.

"No, nowadays, most men want to take you to bed. Period. It's like you are doing them a favor skipping dinner and drinks. Tell you what-I have a man in mind. Don't worry-he's not my type because he's not into the sit around the bar scene each night either, just a co-worker, but I think he'd be perfect for you. He's an accountant, and I guess that's why he's not my type. I see him as dull, but I know he's not. It would be just awkward," she explained.

"Right, says the woman who told me to go for it, sleeping with someone from work," Sharon teased. "If you've slept with him, I am not doing that.

"No! I promise I have not. Really, he's a good guy. He's hinted before he'd interested in that, a good time, nothing more, but he and I agree we're not a match," she said.

"I don't know, Diane," Sharon sighed. "I feel like some after school special on television, the whole idea of sleeping around."

"Relax, you don't have to worry about pregnancy at your age," she chuckled. "Everything else, it will be okay. You just need to get back in the saddle again, or in your case, back in the sack."

"Why are we friends? I swear that sounds like something Andy would have said. Honestly, you two were probably more compatible," she groaned.

"I told you if I'd seen him first, I would have tried," Diane teased.

"Diane, I don't know," Sharon sighed. "I've got Rusty, and Jack is still an issue."

"Please," she sighed. "Rusty goes out with your police friends some, and you and I both know and have discussed that Jack is not an issue. Let me ask at work. His name is Paul."

"I can't do this! I can't just walk up to a man and fall into bed with him," Sharon exclaimed, then, immediately, she dropped her voice.

"You can and should," Diane told her. "It's not as bad as you think. It's fun, exciting. If you don't want him coming there, spring for a hotel room. Meet in the lobby bar and talk a few minutes. Easy. Oh, I have to go. You and I can talk later, but I'm going to set this up with Paul."

"Please don't," Sharon sighed. "It just seems so forward."

"It's not any different than meeting a guy in a bar and leaving with him. This way, it's pre-arranged, and food isn't required. You both have no expectations, just the plan for the evening. Simple. Sharon, guys like this, and from what you've said, this is what you want-no strings, just some fun."

"I'm not ready for this," Sharon groaned.

"You have proven you are. I get that you knew Andy, but this should be even easier, no expectation of getting along at work or anything. If it works out, great. You can meet up with him anytime, and if it doesn't, well, you still have a fun night. If you can tell me that you haven't thought about that lieutenant of yours, wishing he was in your bed today, I won't talk to Paul," she said.

"I hate you," Sharon grumbled and hung up the phone.

Diane was right, in a way. Sharon had shifted from thinking of Andy constantly to thinking of what this guy, Paul might be like. She spent the morning at work, trying to imagine the idea of just showing up and sleeping with someone, something all pre-arranged as a friend. It felt just wrong. Diane had been doing this same thing for a few years, and she kept telling Sharon how great it was. Maybe she was just too old for this kind of life, dating, not dating, whatever people wanted to call it. Still, it did have an appeal, a little fun without a relationship, without the expectations of a relationship, without the hurt feelings, the sitting by the phone waiting, the drama. She'd have to think about it, but while it had consumed her morning, she glanced up as Andy walked into her office for lunch.

"Hey," he smiled at her, "ready to go?"

"I am," she said and stood up, grabbing her purse, which she'd already put on her desk. "Where to?"

"You pick," he said, holding the door. The two nodded to the team, and Provenza made eye contact with Sharon, nodding at her. She gave him a small smile and walked next to Andy as they left the office.

"My pick?" Sharon chuckled. "I invited you; therefore, I would like you to pick."

"Great, my pick, then, is the vending machine, third floor," he grinned as he held the door for her. She looked over and scowled at him. "What? Oh, you want a drink? I'll spring for a soda too."

"You're terrible," she groaned. "Fine," she flashed a smile back at him, "let's just eat outside, lunch from one of the food trucks."

"Let's do it," Andy said immediately, not even giving Sharon the chance to change her mind. "Just for the record," he leaned in to her as they waited for the elevator, "I would have taken you to a five-star place if you'd wanted."

She gave him a side glance, "I'd have never asked for that. Something like that isn't my style."

"I know," he shrugged as the elevator opened, "doesn't mean you don't deserve something nice if you want it."

The two continued with their casual banter as they walked outside. The food trucks were still lined up around the block, and it was a nice afternoon to eat outside. There weren't a lot of benches, but there were still a few places to sit. While Sharon had initially been kidding about the food truck idea, she quickly realized that it was less awkward, less formal, and probably the best idea for their first lunch since they'd called off their little get-togethers. She looked to Andy as they walked by several trucks.

"What looks good?" she asked.

"I was thinking one of those grilled veggie things, like the kabobs," he pointed. "You?"

"The kabobs look good," she nodded. "I can get chicken."

"Chicken it is," he smiled at her. "Why don't you find a place to sit, and I'll order the food."

"Steak actually," she said, changing her mind. "I'll have the steak or beef kabobs, whatever they are calling them."

"Sure," he grinned. "Looking forward to lunch." Sharon watched Andy walk toward the truck. There was a small line, but nothing too bad. In fact, a small line was a good sign of decent food. She glanced around and spotted a free bench in the shade. Thankfully, as she walked there, no on took the bench. She didn't even sit when her phone alerted her to a text. Thinking it was Andy with an order update, she pulled it out quickly to respond.

"Talking to Paul now. He liked your picture. When are you free? He's interested, and if you don't give me a date and time, I'll have him show up at the condo when Rusty is there."

Sharon groaned out loud, which, then, she glanced around to make sure it hadn't been noticeable. Diane was not going to let this go, but maybe, on some level, she was right. Sharon couldn't stop thinking of Andy. She would look at him and then see him in her bed. It was almost too much, so before she could talk herself out of it, she replied to Diane.

"Saturday night, and that's my final offer. I go on call Sunday. I don't have all night either, so make sure he knows that. Rusty is doing something with a friend, one of my tech guys. I heard him talking about this morning. Just tell me where I should get a room. I can't have him at the condo, and I'm not exactly excited about showing up at his place," she told her.

Sharon looked up and found Andy at the window, ordering their food. She looked back at her phone when it buzzed a few seconds later, "These things aren't all night. Start by understanding that. He said he'd spring for the room this time because I told him you were uncomfortable at one house or the other and will send you the details. I told him to make sure the place had a nice bar downstairs. You can start there, but it will be easier than you think. I'm excited for you! Get excited yourself, and think of it this way-you'll start your on-call week nice and relaxed. Chat later!" Diane finished. Sharon read it again, and she sighed at it. She closed out her message and threw her phone into her bag.

For the next few minutes, Sharon sat there, her hands busy. She was suddenly nervous about Saturday night, but she knew if she tried to cancel, Diane would send Paul to her place. She was a good friend, a pushy one at times, but a good one. They were so different in many ways, but at the same time, that's what made them almost challenge each other.

"Man, if I wasn't a vegetarian for health reasons, I'd dig into your beef tips," Andy said as he walked up to Sharon. He was juggling two drinks in on hand and the food in the other.

"Oh, thank you," she jumped up to help him. "I'm sorry; I should have offered to help carry the food."

"I got it, and I got you a lemonade. That okay? I knew you didn't want a soda," he said.

"Fine, perfect," she smiled at him. The two settled into their lunches, and Andy nodded at their choice for lunch.

"Mmmm, it's good," he said. "Nice selection of vegetables."

"My lunch is good as well. So, how are you?" Sharon asked, breaking the ice.

"Doing okay," he offered. "I want to apologize again, Sharon, for how I left things."

"Andy, don't," she shook her head. "I told you it's okay. See, we're doing just fine. It's been a couple of weeks now, and we're still talking, still friends."

"I just know we had a lot of fun, a good situation, and I ruined it because we are looking for different things" he added, looking over to her.

She shook her head, "Don't worry about me. In fact, I have found a new man, someone wanting the same thing."

"You have?" Andy raised an eyebrow, and he tilted his head at her. "Wow, okay, and here, I was worried," he chuckled. "Wow, I mean, just to clarify, I wasn't just some guy in a long string of them, right? You said it was not your norm, but I know I told you to go for it. Good for you."

"It's not; it wasn't-my thing," she clarified. "My friend suggested a friend of hers who is interested in the same arrangement. You helped open my eyes, and this should be good for me. So, if anything, thank you," she reached over and squeezed his arm. "Enough about me," she smiled at him, "tell me how you are doing, how things are going for you."

He nodded as he chewed his food, "Slow, but I guess we need that. Different, not what I expected, but we'll see. We haven't gotten deep into some of our real issues or some of the things we need to share. I have knots in my stomach about that because she isn't going to like what I have to say. I just hope she knows I'm trying now."

Sharon frowned, "You keep saying that. Just tell her, whatever it is. Even I can see you are torn up about this. I know it's probably not what you want, but you are always welcome to talk to me. Have you at least shared with Provenza your worries?"

"Provenza doesn't know what I need to tell Sandra, no on does," he sighed. "I've carried this so long. I just was a mess while drinking, and she needs to know."

"All I can offer is my support," Sharon said with a small smile. "I applaud you for trying with her. What do the kids think?"

"Nothing, we haven't said anything to them. There's just too much to risk, and we don't want them involved, not until we figure out if this can go anywhere. We both really are just two different people than we were, and at least we recognize that. We've been trying to have dinner most evening, which is challenging with work and my meetings. It's been pretty late a couple of times, and I know that irritates her, but we'll see. We're doing a lot of talking right now."

"Are you still attracted to her?" Sharon asked, and immediately, she shook her head. "I'm sorry. That is none of my business. Please don't answer that."

Andy eyed her, trying to decide if he should answer. Finally, he just looked back at his food. The two settled into a comfortable silence. He looked over at her, "You need to finish. You're not eating."

"Right," she smiled at him, and with that, it was almost like there had not been any awkwardness. "Rusty seems to be adjusting to his detail."

Andy chucked, "That kid is so happy to be home with you, Sharon. I think he'd about agree to anything. You two are a good pair. I know you missed him very much, and he missed you. I'm just the one person who really saw how much you both missed each other."

"Well, thank you for getting me through that. You helped a lot, and I won't forget it," she said, nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah, you are hard to forget too, I mean, all of that, before," he gestured. "I guess I didn't know how much I needed it back then, just needed to be with someone familiar."

"You said you weren't planning to tell Sandra it was me. Is that still true?" Sharon asked as she eyed him.

Andy nodded, "It would just hurt her too much, I mean, the fact we work together each day. I don't need her jealous, not when there's no reason to be jealous. I was upfront and told her I'd been with a friend on and off, and she accepted that. Anything more, a name to a face, it's not important. I mean, you and I agreed we were done with that, and see," he used his hand to gesture, "we're friends. Can I admit it's weird, though, to hear you've found another guy. It's not wrong," he added, "just weird to think I've been replaced, but I am glad you found what you want."

"Thanks," she said, and her phone rang. Sharon picked it up and answered it, "Yes, Chief?"

Andy finished eating while she finished her call. She handed him her plate when he stood to collect the trash, and after he returned from the garbage can, she was done on the phone.

"I need to get upstairs. Chief wants to meet with me," she told him. "Thanks for lunch. I'm glad we did this."

"Next time, let's talk about something lighter, okay?" Andy winked. "I think we can move beyond bedroom talk."

Sharon could feel her cheeks flush, but she nodded in agreement, "Deal. We've never had a problem talking, so we'll get back on track next time."


	13. Chapter 13

Thursday. It was Thursday, right? She took off her glasses and ran her hands over her eyes, the exhaustion setting in now that she wasn't knee-deep in a case. Well, she was still at work, but they'd finally closed the case. The team had caught it Sunday afternoon, just when everyone was thinking that they might get to enjoy their Sunday afternoons, including herself, but yes, they'd caught a case. Sharon had been home trying to get some rest; she hadn't slept at all the night before. That hadn't happened, and now, days later, she was even more exhausted. Thankfully, it had only taken them a few days to solve it, but in the interim, they'd been working around the clock, almost non-stop. Sharon closed her eyes briefly, and when she felt her head starting to bob, like she was falling asleep, she opened her eyes again and looked out at the team. It was almost 10:30, another extremely late night, but they were wrapping up now. They'd gotten their confession almost two hours ago, and the DA was finishing with the suspect and his lawyer. Rios had been too busy, and Sharon's friend, DDA Hobbs had been asked to come and help. She really liked working with Hobbs and was hopeful they could see more of her and less of Rios. Sharon had mentioned that earlier to Hobbs, and it seemed the feeling was mutual; Hobbs liked working with Sharon too.

As she scanned the room, she noted that she wasn't the only one who was tired. Half of the team was yawning, and the ones who weren't seemed to be drowning themselves in coffee. It would be great to go home, to shower, and then, to collapse in her bed. She really needed a break. Still, they would be back at work first thing in the morning. These weeks on call were rough, but once they'd finished their call over the weekend, they would have at least two days off. She couldn't wait and just hoped they didn't catch another case that pulled them into next week because that then, would affect their time off.

Sharon's eyes met Andy's. He had stood to stretch, and as he sat back down in his chair, he glanced her way. He tilted his head, wondering if she was okay, and within a couple seconds, she had a text from him.

"Everything okay?" Andy asked.

Again, Sharon sighed as she reached for her glasses to read the text, "Fine," she told him. "Exhausted, but I'm fine. Paperwork?"

"Almost done, well, Sykes is done. We're coaxing Mike to finish. You know he's always last because he's so detail-oriented. I'm proofreading mine. Provenza just pulled out his crossword, so it looks like he's done. Julio is talking to Buzz, and I'm assuming he's about done too."

"Good, everyone needs to get home and get some rest. I need to get back to work," she said.

"All work and no play," he sent back to her. She read that and pursed her lips, thinking of times they had said that to each other. She wasn't sure how to reply, but he did quickly, almost as if he had the same thoughts, "I mean, I hope you can get home and see Rusty. I'll bring the repots in when we finish."

Sharon gave a single nod, even though she was reading a text message and turned back to her paperwork. Her eyes were still hurting. She sat there a moment, just wanting to put her head down on her desk, but that wouldn't work. Knowing she had another hour of paperwork, at least, she decided to make a cup of tea and stood to go and do that. She smiled at Andy when she exited her office, and he nodded back at her. She looked around the room.

"I'm going to make a cup of tea. Anyone need anything?" Sharon asked.

"Hope it's decaf, Ma'am," Julio chuckled. "You need one of those nighttime teas, nothing that will keep you up. It's pretty late."

"Yes," Sharon grinned. "I'm afraid I'm so tired I could drink double the caffeine, and it wouldn't keep me up. I'll be back." She walked down the hall, her heels clicking at her feet. She had on her black suit, a power suit really, and she loved wearing it. At least she was comfortable in it, pairing it with a deep purple top for the day, or maybe days. She'd been up and at work since 5:30 that morning. It really had been too long she'd been in this outfit. As she walked, she thought back over the last few days. She and Andy had worked well during the case, which is something they'd been doing more and more of over the last few months. They got each other, and she'd joked with him they had some sort of extra sense because they were even dressing alike more and more. He also had on a black suit, and he'd worn a purple tie. She knew the team thought they planned it, but they really had not. She just almost seemed to notice that on days they dressed alike, they seemed to think alike. Today had been no exception.

As Sharon spent the next few minutes preparing her tea, she leaned back against the counter and let her mind wander. She really hadn't done that for days, at least to wander into her personal life. When she was in the middle of a case, she tried to focus only on the case, as she'd done, and now that she had a few moments, she felt like she was getting some clarity. It was almost the weekend. Last weekend seemed like a distant memory. She almost couldn't believe she'd met Paul at the hotel on Saturday evening. If someone had told her a few months ago that she would agree to sleeping with a total stranger in a hotel, she would have told them they were crazy. Honestly, if someone would have told her she would have spent the better part of two months sleeping with Andy, she would have laughed at them. While she waited for her tea to heat, she stood there, against the counter, closed her eyes, and she replayed some of Saturday night in her head. It was crazy that it hadn't even been a week.

 _"_ _Sharon," she heard and looked up from her glass of wine. She'd been in mid-sip, nervous, and had been glancing around the bar area. It figured the moment she started to sip her wine he would appear. Sharon tried not to choke on her glass as she put it down, and she turned toward him. She was already seated sideways at the bar, the high chairs allowing her to almost perch on them. She had her legs crossed, and she had to admit, her legs looked good. She had on a simple, black dress, nothing too fancy, along with her black heels. Diane had warned her not to get carried away, and Sharon had perhaps gone too far in the other direction, maybe too plain, but by judging the look on Paul's face, she'd picked just the right outfit._

 _"_ _Paul," she smiled at him, tuning almost around in her chair. He'd walked up behind her, and she smiled at him. "I'm glad we could find a time to get together," she added, gesturing to the chair next to her. "Would you like to sit a minute? This is all a little new for me."_

 _"_ _Okay," he nodded with a simple shrug. She eyed him, noticing that he was in dark jeans and loafers, along with a navy polo shirt. He was a good-looking man; she couldn't help but notice that. He had thinning sandy blonde hair and a decent build. She had to admit Diane had picked a good one. Sharon almost wanted to ask his age because she knew he was younger than she was._

 _"_ _You have beautiful hair," he complimented her. "That's all I could see from the bar entrance. Diane told me you had long hair, and it was easy to spot. I like that look on you."_

 _"_ _Thank you, something to drink?" Sharon waved over the bartender. "Least I can do is buy the drinks since you took care of the rest."_

 _"_ _Thanks," he smiled. He looked to the bartender, "I'll take a beer, bottle please, ahh, that one," he gestured down the counter to where two men were sitting. "I'll take the same thing they have." The bartender nodded and moved to get his drink. Sharon shifted now, back to sideways to face him. She rested her feet on his chair. Paul was sitting facing the bar, so she was almost sideways to him, but it worked to talk to each other. "You mentioned this was new for you? Diane said you were looking for someone new, that the last guy hadn't worked out. I just assumed that was the case, that you'd done this sort of thing before."_

 _Sharon frowned, "It is, I mean, it's not quite so simple. I've done this now before, but he was, he is," she corrected, "a friend. He's no longer interested."_

 _"_ _Really," he said with a seductive look at Sharon, "why not? I'm thinking this might work well with us, at least I'm hoping. Diane promised me you weren't crazy or anything."_

 _Sharon chuckled and tilted her head from side to side, "No, not crazy. I do promise that. I won't call you constantly and beg for a relationship. I'm not looking for that, but he was. I mean, he knew we weren't a relationship, but when the opportunity came along for him to enter into a relationship with, well, actually, his ex-wife, he and I called things off. He's back together with his ex."_

 _"_ _I can 100% promise that won't happen with me," he nodded to her, a playful grin on his face. "Can't stand my ex. Plus, she went and married one of the groomsmen from our wedding, even though it had been over a decade since that. No, she's history," he explained._

 _"_ _I'm still married," Sharon blurted out, her eyes searching his. "Let me be clear, though, I'm legally separated, have been for decades. That's a long story, but he took off 20 years ago, and he will not be getting back into my bed. I know I need to do more, but that's where I am now. If that's a problem, I understand."_

 _"_ _Diane told me," he nodded as he listened. "I'm here," he gestured. "No problem. I will trust you."_

 _"_ _Okay," Sharon said as she let out her breath. The bartender returned with Paul's beer, and he took a big swig of it. "So, I don't really know what we discuss. Is this something you do often?"_

 _He grinned at her, "You can relax. I promise we'll have a good time. I'm just looking for that, as it sounds like you are too. No relationship, no drama, just a fun evening. Diane asked me because she knew my expectations, just a nice evening with a lovely woman. I'm currently out of the game, so to speak, but I'm not a sit in the bar and scout kind of guy. Friends suggest friends, just like Diane did. The last woman I was with ended up with a job transfer. We kept up our little arrangement for over a year," he said, turning back to his beer for another sip. "So," he said after that, "if we enjoy each other's company, we can make this a regular thing. I just can't do hotels each week. First time is totally fine-we don't know each other at all, but after that, we need to discuss some sort of plan for my place and yours. We can set parameters, like we don't sleep with others, and when we're ready to move on, we do," he shrugged. "How does that sound?"_

 _"_ _Possible," Sharon nodded. She still had almost a fourth of her glass of wine left, but instead of sipping it, she took a huge swig, downing the rest of the glass. She looked back at him while she motioned to the bartender for another glass, "I'm open to discussion. I'd like another glass of wine first. I've been here over an hour already, and it took me that long to finish the first. If it's okay with you, I'd like a second before we go upstairs."_

 _"_ _Sure," he nodded his beer toward her. "I'm okay with that."_

 _She nodded, "And, I'm okay with your idea, but I do need to explain that I have a teenage son at home. He cannot know anything about this. We'll have to work around his schedule and work. Diane said she explained I'm a police captain."_

 _"_ _Yeah," he flashed a grin, "never saw anyone like you ever write me a ticket," he winked. "It's fine, your son, I mean," he waved. "I've got a pet rabbit at home, nothing else."_

 _"_ _A pet rabbit?" Sharon raised an eyebrow. "That's interesting."_

 _"_ _The woman who moved away, the one I was with before, she had the rabbit, and she didn't want to travel with it to Boston. So, Flopsy lives with me," he chuckled._

 _Sharon burst out laughing, which really helped her relax, "So, you're a dad?" She grinned at him._

 _"_ _Yeah, the bunny and I are very happy together," he chuckled. "You said you have a teenager?"_

 _"_ _Yes, I actually have a girl and two boys. The youngest, he's a foster son, but I hope to adopt him. My kids are really great, and I'm proud of them. My older two are out of college."_

 _"_ _You don't look old enough for kids that age," he eyed her up and down._

 _"_ _Hmm, you don't look old enough to parent a bunny," she grinned. He shrugged._

 _"_ _I'm 47," he told her._

 _Sharon's eyes widened, "I'm not," she said, dropping her head. "I'm a little older than that."_

 _"_ _I'm here," he gestured again. "It's fine. Remember, it's not a relationship."_

 _"_ _Right," she sighed. They both looked to their drinks. Sharon's wine had been dropped off, and she sipped it again, her sips more like gulps._

 _"_ _Look, I like to plan for a couple hours, max, so are you ready to head upstairs?" Paul asked._

 _"_ _Ahh, yes," Sharon said, taking another large sip of her wine. He gestured to it._

 _"_ _You can bring it. They'll just get the glass in the morning," he suggested. "Ready?"_

 _Sharon nodded and stepped down off her chair. He reached around and rested his hand on her hip as he walked alongside her, and explained to her, "I'm not a holding hand kind of guy, but this okay?"_

 _"_ _Fine," she said with a small smile. "I suppose it's going to be an interesting evening."_

"Captain," she heard and snapped up her head. Julio was standing at the door, "Just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything, Ma'am because I'm heading out for the evening."

"Thank you for your hard work," Sharon smiled at him. "Oh, and the little I've seen Rusty this week, he couldn't stop talking about that movie you three saw last Saturday night."

Julio grinned, "I'm getting old, Ma'am. I hated it, but it was fun hanging out with Rusty, Buzz too," he nodded. "Night."

"Night," she called to him. Sharon looked over to see her tea was ready. She fanned her face; she was hot and flustered. Her mind had wandered too much. Last weekend was ridiculous; she couldn't shake Saturday from her head. She needed to go home. She hadn't slept really at all since last Friday maybe? She hadn't slept a wink Saturday night, and as she thought about that, her cheeks flushed again too. She needed to put that out of her mind. There was work to finish.


	14. Chapter 14

It was now the middle of October. The weather was still warm and sunny for Los Angeles, but the seasons were changing. Work was plugging along, and even though they hadn't found Rusty's stalker, he was still handling his protective detail okay. Sharon was still as nervous as the first day he'd left for school with them, but she was trying to look and act relaxed. The team, for once, did not have a case, and she almost jumped when a knock came at her office door in the middle of the day. She looked up and saw Amy on the other side of the door. Gesturing to her, Amy opened it and popped her head inside, "Delivery for you, Captain," she nodded behind her to the delivery guy standing there. Sharon nodded to Amy and stood to accept her flowers.

"Thank you," she said with a simple smile. Amy stood there at the door, ready to escort the delivery man out of the office. Amy met Sharon's gaze as the man left.

"Beautiful flowers, Captain," she nodded. "Two deliveries in two days-someone is thinking of you."

"Yes, appears that way," Sharon said, moving across the room to put her flowers on her table. She'd put the bouquet she'd received yesterday behind her desk, by the windows, and suddenly, for someone who didn't get flowers often, much at all really, she had an office full of them. While many would have taken the flowers home, she didn't want a grand inquisition from Rusty. It was easier to leave them in an office full of detectives, which was ridiculous. She pulled the card, glanced at it, not surprised at the sender, and she walked back to her desk with it before she put it in her drawer.

Out in the main office, all eyes were on Amy and really on Sharon. When Amy closed Sharon's door and returned to her desk, she looked up and found everyone staring back at her. She frowned, "What?"

"Come on, Sykes," Julio prodded. "What did she say? We sent you in hoping she might say something not you, woman to woman."

"Who is sending the captain flowers?" Andy asked turning to her.

"I got nothing out of her," Amy said a waved of her hand. "Nothing."

Provenza looked across the room to Andy, "Flynn, she's your friend. You don't know what is going on?"

"No, as you can see, I just asked," Andy smirked. "She hasn't said a word to me. Oh, great, you don't think Jack is trying to weasel his way back in, do you?"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to ask her!" Provenza said, clearly horrified. "Flynn, we all elect you for that honor."

"Me?" Andy said, now irritated. "I have enough of my own problems to handle. No way I'm going to just parade in there and casually ask if Jackie-boy is back. No way. Plus, really, even though I suggested it, I don't think that's the case. Huh," he sighed and put his finger up to his mouth. He turned, trying to get a read on Sharon. She was back working at her desk, and he could easily see both bouquets of flowers. No way they were from Jack. He wanted to kick himself for even suggesting it, saying it for the office to hear. His eyes widened as he thought. She had a new guy. Sharon had told him the same now almost a month ago over lunch, and he hadn't forgotten that, but she hadn't mentioned anything since, so he'd wondered if that had fallen through. He'd resisted the urge to ask her about him, which had been hard, but he hadn't asked. A month now, and she was suddenly getting flowers. A random bouquet yesterday, well, he'd tried to explain that away, like from the kids or whatever. Two bouquets in two days-that was another matter. Maybe things were more serious than he thought. While the two were good friends and had slept together more times than they could count, he didn't feel right asking her how things were going in the sack with some new guy. She seemed okay lately, happy, but he wasn't sure she seemed the same she'd been when he'd been sleeping with her. Of course, during that time, he saw other sides to Sharon, sides the team certainly didn't see. She was a complex person, and for all he knew, she could just be putting up a wall, keeping her feelings for this new guy locked inside. Whatever the case, getting flowers was out of the norm. Sharon didn't get flowers at work, not ever, and something was up.

Andy glanced toward her again, wanting to study her, and he caught himself groaning as he looked to her. She had her elbow on her desk, her head propped in her hand, the exact pose he had seen her do several times with him in bed. Her hair was even falling around her as she worked at her desk. It looked like she was studying a report. He needed to stop studying her because he needed to stop the thoughts of her he was currently having.

As the day progressed, Andy glanced at Sharon often, hoping to find her interested in her flowers, but aside from removing the card, she had barely looked at them. From what he could tell, she hadn't read the card, but he couldn't see directly into her office. He wanted her to be happy. Honestly, that's all he wanted for himself, and right now, he had a mess going on. He'd been so busy with his own life that maybe he'd missed the changes in hers. He'd been careful to mask things at work, but all he wanted to do, had wanted to do for the last few days was punch a wall. Andy wasn't sure how much longer he could keep a lid on his feelings, and Provenza had noticed too. He'd waved off talking to Provenza, not wanting to even discuss his issues with his best friend. He needed to talk; he also needed some answers, and really, he was kidding himself. He could accomplish both by talking to Sharon. He'd really gotten to know her, obviously intimately, but in other ways too the last several months. Working with her for the last few years had changed his view of her. She was smart, one of the smartest people he'd ever met. She was funny, full of whit, and she was a really good listener. As the team wrapped up for the day, he stood and smirked at Provenza.

"I'll see what I can find out," he gave a slight nod toward Sharon. She hadn't come out of her office all afternoon, and at each glance, Andy had found her hard at work. He did intend to find out about the flowers, but right now, he wasn't sure what he'd tell the team. He could always tell them he'd learned nothing at all.

"Hey," he said once he entered her office. She looked up as he knocked an entered, his standard greeting, and she smiled at him.

"Hey yourself, everyone heading home?" Sharon asked with a quick glance behind Andy. The team was slowly packing up, but he also knew they were lingering, hoping to get some dirt from him.

"Probably," he nodded. "Nice flowers," he looked over to them as he tested the waters with her.

"Thank you," she said, looking back at her report. "I'm almost done with this expense report, and then, I'm heading home as well."

"I miss talking to you," he blurted out, and Sharon, with a puzzled expression looked up at him. He was now standing there, his hands on the chair as he stood behind it. He lowered his voice, "We stopped sleeping together almost six weeks ago now, and I feel like that whole mess well," he scratched his head and frowned, "I guess, that decision created a mess, not really a mess, though," he said as he fumbled for his words. He sighed and shook his head, "I feel like in an effort to keep our friendship through that, we stopped talking, really talking," he explained. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'd like your advice and would like to talk sometime if you can. You were so great with the wedding advice from Nicole. I miss having you there listening to me."

Sharon stared back at him, her eyes clearly surprised by his comments. She put down her pen and pursed her lips as she nodded at him, "Oh," she said. "I'm sorry it's seemed awkward. That isn't what I want at all. I've tried to give you space. I know you have a lot going on with your family, with Sandra."

"If it's okay with you, if you have some free time, I'd really like to talk, not here at the office," he said, his eyes almost pleading with her. "A lot has been going on in the last six weeks, and you seem to provide clarity when I need it."

"I'm free tonight," she said quickly, searching his eyes. "Rusty is going to be a at chess tournament, and he actually told me not to come. It's almost like for the students only or something," she gestured. "He said he wouldn't be home until 10 or 11. I'm sorry," she sighed. "I'm sure you have plans."

"No, actually, just a meeting," he told her. "I wanted to go to another meeting tonight."

"On Friday? Did you miss your normal meeting with work?" Sharon asked.

"I did, but I went ahh, maybe Tuesday? I'm not sure," he said. "I'm too tired to remember, but just a lot going on, and I wanted to go again tonight. I'm heading there now. Can I come by after my meeting?"

"I'll be there," she nodded. "I'd planned to shop online for Ricky's birthday presents tonight, but that won't take long. He sent me a list with links," she explained with a slight roll to her eyes.

For the first time, Andy looked to her and grinned. He started to chuckle, "Sounds like Ricky." Andy had met Ricky before, several times now that he'd been working with Sharon, and Sharon had told him a lot about Ricky too over the last couple of years. "Okay, if you are sure you don't have plans-I know that we often had ahh private plans when Rusty was away, and if I'm interrupting that same sort of plan, just tell me."

"Not tonight," she nodded. "I'm free."

"I'll be there," he smiled at her. "Thanks for letting me talk tonight, and I beg you to hear me out, not hate me tonight. I'm just going to say that now because I'm not proud of many of the things I want to discuss, and you might be shocked at what I have to say. I'll just leave that there."

"Okay," Sharon said, now puzzled as she looked at him. She searched his face for more, and she just shook her head, "Andy, I hope you know you can always talk to me. Regardless of anything we had before, we are friends. I want that. I do care about you."

"Thanks," he said, closing his eyes. "I need to go to my meeting before I want to hit the bar. Correction," he held up his hand, "I do want to hit the bar, so I need to go to my meeting. I'll talk to you soon."

Sharon watched him as he walked back to his desk. She'd noticed he was frustrated the past few days, but during a long case, it was normal for him, for everyone really, to be frustrated. Cases almost masked underlying problems, and as she watched him leave, she wondered what was troubling him. Something was eating at him; she could tell. She'd listen tonight, and hopefully, they could get to the bottom of whatever was bothering him. He needed her help, and she was glad they were putting aside any awkwardness to work through his problems. Maybe in the future, she'd share her own with him.


	15. Chapter 15

"You look horrible," Sharon said with wide eyes after she opened the door. Andy stood there, his shoulders slouched, his head dropped, and his face filled with anxiety. "Come in," she said and pulled him inside because by the look of him, she wasn't sure he could even function to do that. "I'm worried that you drove over here in that state."

Andy waved at her and followed her almost blindly into the condo. He still had his head lowered, and she took hold of his arm to guide him to the couch. Both sat, and she turned sideways to look at him. He just sank back into the couch. Suddenly, visions of this same scene hit Sharon; they'd sat here before when he'd called off their arrangement.

"I don't know what else to do," he admitted.

"Are you drinking again?" Sharon asked. "It's been a couple of weeks since we've had time to talk. If that's it, Andy, we'll get you some help."

"No, I'm not drinking," he raised a hand and just shook his head. He closed his eyes and sighed, "Could I just have a minute? It feels like the world is crashing."

"Of course," she told him. "Tell you what-I think we both could use some coffee." Sharon patted his knee as she stood. She walked to the kitchen, glancing back at him as walked. He didn't change his posture or even open his eyes. Something was truly wrong.

Sharon didn't even need to ask him how he wanted his coffee. She prepared it as he liked it, and a few minutes later, she returned to the living room and found him in the exact same spot, his eyes still closed. As much as she wanted to say something, she held back; she sat down, put the coffee on a coaster in front of him, and she started sipping on her own coffee. It almost killed Sharon to sit there and watch Andy in such agony, but she knew he needed to work through whatever was bothering him, and as a friend, she needed to wait for him to be ready to talk.

Finally, Andy let out a long sigh and started to speak, his eyes open now, but not looking at Sharon, "I'm a worthless human being, no better than the scum we arrest, and it's hitting me really hard right now. I am not proud of the man I am. It's taken all my nerve to come here and tell you this-I just," he sighed.

Sharon's eyes widened, and she shook her head at him, "Andy, that isn't true at all. What in the world has you thinking like that?"

"I've never fully made amends, and I need to do that," he stated. Sharon sat back to let him talk. She sipped her coffee and held it there in her hands. "I need to come clean about things, everything," he grunted. "I need to finally put everything on the table. If I've learned anything in family counseling, it's that. This has been eating away at me, for a long time, but now, I just," he paused and shook his head, almost in tears. Sharon reached over and gripped his hand in hers. They sat there like that for a few seconds, and then, he started to gesture with his hands, pulling it from her grip. She sat back and continued to hold her coffee between her two hands. "I mean, what was I thinking? What kind of dirtbag am I? I'm no better than these creeps walking the streets. I've kept this buried for too long, way too long. It never should have been. Oh," he put his hands over his face, "I might be sick."

"Breathe," she said quietly. "It's okay here. Just breathe. I'm listening." Sharon let the silence descend upon them again, Andy now sitting forward, his elbows on his knees, and he had his hands on his face. He wouldn't look at Sharon. She looked at him, this man completely distraught in front of her. He sat there like that, and she tried to encourage him. "Have some coffee. I think you need it."

Andy nodded and went through the motions of sipping on the coffee. He put the cup back down on the table and resumed his stance there, his elbows on his knees, his hands on his face, and he continued to stare at the floor. Sharon sipped her coffee as she just waited.

"I slept with someone else," he blurted out finally and spoke quickly, wanting to get it all out, "before, you joked about it, but I did. You hit the nail on the head. Got her pregnant too."

Sharon, who had just taken a rather large sip of her coffee, spit it out at that admission, all of it hitting Andy. He jumped quickly, as he had no idea she was in mid sip.

"Oh geez," he yelled, jumping from the couch. "That's hot!"

"I'm sorry," Sharon blurted as she jumped too. She stared at him, her saddened eyes meeting his briefly before she ran to get a towel. She was in shock, unsure of what to say, all while her mind was racing, trying to figure out what in the world was going on right now. She returned with a kitchen towel and handed it to him, Andy refusing to make eye contact with her. Sharon stared at him, her eyes showing the shock she felt.

"You have to understand, alcoholics aren't good people, Sharon. We self-destruct. We ruin lives-our own lives and others. It's what I've always done, what I'm still doing," he rambled on.

"Andy," she finally said firmly, trying to get him to look at her. "What is going on? You were sleeping with someone else when you and I-" she frowned, thinking that he'd broken her trust, that in their arrangement, he'd disregarded that security between them.

"No!" he exclaimed, the vagueness of his words hitting him. "It's not like that. No, with you, that was genuine; you had my full attention. No," he shook his head.

"You just stop in here and blurt out you got someone pregnant? What is going on?" Sharon said in a firmer tone, gesturing to him.

"Years ago, decades ago," he clarified, finally now looking up at her. He finished wiping off his shirt, which now had a coffee stain on it. "Sandra threw me out when I started drinking. I was a mess, and I was not interested in climbing out of my mess. I created a hole, one without an opening, at least I saw. You remember," he gestured. "You threatened to fire me twice. You probably should have," he met her gaze. "I screwed up everything back then. As unfair as I thought you were, which you weren't," he added, "you kept me on. I screwed up everything," he waved his hand in the air. "I've been sober a long time now; you know that, but before I was sober, I drank hard for almost three years; I just masked it well for some of that time. Eventually, though, that drinking filtered into all areas of my life. Nothing was enough. Nothing. Before that, my drinking was casual, but continued to escalate. Sandra threw me out when I'd started staying out all night at the bars, when it got that bad. The kids were small, and they all deserved better. I didn't want to do better. So, for the next couple years, I kept drinking. Work suffered. You saw that, just as I said. In all of that, I did something really stupid. This bartender," he gestured with his hand in the air, and as he did, the story all hit Sharon. Her eyes widened, and she sat down on the couch, the shock hitting her there. Andy started pacing the room, and he could be heard sighing.

"Go on," Sharon nodded and looked to him briefly before she dropped her eyes to the floor.

"My divorce was pending, just waiting on the court date, but for all practical purposes, we were divorced. Before then, I hadn't even thought about another woman. I guess the reality of the divorce hit me hard, the fact I'd lost my family hit me. I started hitting the bottle even more, and I was spending more and more time at the bar. I was barely getting through work. I guess I drank just long enough into the evening to pass out, and then, I'd crawl into work, trying to put it together. Some days were better than others. I started being the guy left at the last call each night. I'd stagger out to my car and pass out in the parking lot-did that more times than I care to admit. They didn't take the keys like they do now, just different time," he added. I'd wake up, stagger into work, and shower there. "A few times, probably more than a few times, yeah, definitely more," he shook his head, disappointed in himself, "I invited this one bartender, late 20's, just someone who was always working, to go with me, out to my car. It was stupid, obviously. I barely knew her. I didn't care. I didn't want to know her. I just wanted to," he threw up his hands. "It happened one of those times, some random bartender in the back of my crappy car. It went on for several months, maybe longer, even after my divorce was officially finalized. She was there; I was there. We both knew it meant nothing, but it was like a sure thing for a good time. Even the details of everything back then are a little hazy. She never said anything to me, and I was even in and out of the bar after that. At one point during all that, I tried rehab, my first try. I was gone a couple months for that. You probably remember with work because it was the first time you threatened to fire me; I tried rehab. Rehab didn't work-more like, I didn't want it to work, and I was right back in the bar a few months later. She was scared when she saw me, I guess thinking that when I'd disappeared, I was gone for good. She was visibly pregnant then, and I even told her congratulations at first, not realizing it was mine. I joked with her all evening about the baby, saying she was too young and pretty to be a mom, that moms like her didn't show up at my kids' daycare, junk like that. She only told me at the end of the night, when I was there again for the last call, the last one in the bar. She told me it was my kid, that she wanted nothing from me, and that I'd done enough, ruined enough. I can still see her collecting glasses off the bar, not even looking at me as we were talking. I told her I hoped she had a decent father for her kid because I'd been a lousy father to my kids. She didn't even look at me, just said, almost like it wasn't a big deal, "Well, it's your kid. I've got no father for this kid, and it's fine by me." She even blurted out that she had nowhere to go , that she'd been living at home with her dad or whatever, but he'd thrown her out. I begged her to talk, and she said we could talk after she got off work. I couldn't believe it, another horrible mistake. Like other nights, I staggered out to the car and waited, expecting her to follow right behind me. Sharon, she never showed up. She ran, and I've never heard a word since, even when I tried to find her."

Sharon sighed loudly and put her head in her hands, which were now perched on her knees. She really didn't know what to say, and she stayed like that several moments while Andy paced.

"Please say something," he finally stopped in front of the television. She looked up at him, and she could see the sorrow there. "I know you hate me, that I've completely lost your trust, your respect. I can't stand the silence now. For all the times you want to talk, please."

Sharon pursed her lips and stood. She gave him a small nod, "I'm not thinking what you think. I think," she paused and searched his eyes. "I think you need to tell Sandra. I can't predict what she will say or do, but you need to come clean with her, and you need to do it now. You've bottled this up for what-20 years or so?"

"21," he nodded and dropped his head.

"Exactly, you know it's been 21 years. You need to deal with this head-on, be the man I know you can be, and tell her. You cannot control more right now. What's done can't be undone, but you can try with her."

"It's not even like with her-" he stopped talking and shook his head. "I don't need to drag you into our mess. Surely, you want to yell and scream at me, lecture me for everything, even kick me out."

"I want you to make your amends," she said with a single nod. "I'm not kicking you out, but those amends need to start with Sandra. I'm happy to listen, as I did, but you need to do this. Andy," she said, her arms crossed, "I'm always here if you need to talk. Do not go back to the bottle."

Andy's eyes met hers, and he nodded, closing them. She walked around the coffee table and pulled him into an embrace, squeezing him tightly, "Go, talk to her. It's a mess, but you have to finally face it."

Andy hugged her back, and Sharon pulled away, taking his hand in hers as if she had to show him the door. She eyed him when she put her hand on the door, "Are you going to be okay, I mean, driving? You aren't going to drive to a bar, are you?"

"No, thanks," he said. "I felt like I was having an anxiety attack, but thanks. I'm so sorry I've completely lost your trust and disappointed you. I guess I just need to get this over with, telling Sandra."

"If you need to talk," she said, ignoring that, "I'm home all night." Sharon patted his shoulder as she sent him on his way. She closed the door and collapsed against it. She wiped a tear she didn't know was there, distraught for him. What had he done? Lives were so complicated; hers was no exception, in fact, more complicated than most. What were they all doing? They were living in a complicated mess.


	16. Chapter 16

It didn't surprise her that he came knocking in the middle of the night. It also wasn't a surprise she was still awake, unable to sleep. She didn't have to wonder who was knocking on her door, and as she got up to answer it, a text message on her phone confirmed it.

"I didn't know where to go. I'm outside your door," he told her. She let out a long sigh as she stood and put on her robe. She tied it and walked out of her room, glancing down toward Rusty's door. Thankfully, he was asleep. Andy would have had to show his badge to the detail watching Rusty, but they wouldn't have called her about him. They knew him from work, and she had a feeling they would just make sure he got into the condo okay. With the detail, she now had an audience, and she had to worry about what rumors might circulate.

"You look worse than before," she said after she unlocked the door and opened it for him. She spotted the two detectives just down the hall from Andy, watching the situation. Sharon held up her hand to give an "all clear" to them, and she just nodded. She looked at Andy, and she could see he stood there, now looking totally broken. His hair was a mess, his shirt was rumpled, and his eyes were puffy; clearly, he'd even been crying. She grabbed his arm and escorted him inside. She nodded to the detectives, "Lieutenant Flynn has had a rough night. Thank you for not giving him a hard time." They gave her a respectful nod, and she pulled him inside before she shut the door. Andy quickly collapsed into her as he embraced her.

"You have no idea how awful that was. I didn't think it was possible to argue that much with anyone," he said in a muffled voice. Sharon pulled back to meet his gaze.

"Before anything, you are going to collect yourself. That is going to start with a shower. You smell of alcohol. Have you been drinking?" Sharon said, looking directly at him.

He shook his head, "Sat in the bar for an hour, maybe longer, but no."

"Give me your shirt," she said, nodding to him. He looked at her, confused. She started to unbutton it, determined to take charge here. "You smell of alcohol, and that isn't helping right now. You're going to get yourself together and take a shower. I'm going to at least throw this shirt in the wash. You have your undershirt, yes?" Sharon made eye contact with him. It was almost awkward to acknowledge she knew how he dressed, knew that he always had an undershirt on with his dress shirts. He met her eyes and quickly nodded. Sharon finished with his shirt, trying to focus on that only, and she gestured for him to take it off. "I'll just deal with your shirt now. There are fresh towels back there, as you," she briefly glanced at him as she spoke and finally found him looking back at her, "as you know," she finished. "I'll put this in the wash, and then, we are going to sit and talk."

"I'm sorry I pulled you into this," he said, his first cognitive thought really since he'd arrived.

"Go," she said, his shirt now in her hands. She watched as he slowly made his way down the hall. While it should have felt odd to send him to shower, he'd been there before in a much more intimate setting. She quickly got to work, first throwing his shirt in the wash, and then, she put on some tea for both of them.

Sharon had just put tea on the table for both of them when she heard footsteps coming toward the kitchen. She looked up, wanting to make eye contact with him again, but her eyes widened in surprise when Rusty came around the corner.

"Sharon, who is in the bathroom?" Rusty looked to her and then down the hall. "I figured you were in the bathroom, but what is going on? Oh great," he groaned, "Jack isn't here again, is he?" Rusty pointed to the two mugs on the table, "He's back. I thought you said he was gone for good."

"Rusty," she pursed her lips, "it's Andy, Lieutenant Flynn. He's had a rough night, but he didn't drink," she stated, hoping that was going to be all the explanation Rusty needed.

"Oh," he said with raised eyebrows. "Oh," he repeated. "I woke up and wanted a glass of water. I heard the shower and figured you must have a case, and then seeing you here, oh," he said again, nodding.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't make this more uncomfortable for Andy. I think it's best if I am here, just me, to talk to him."

"Yeah, okay," Rusty frowned. "Is he okay?" Rusty hooked his thumb down the hall, gesturing toward where Andy was showering. Sharon hummed and gave Rusty a small shrug.

"I'm going to see what I can do to help. I'm not sure. He has some big things going on in his life," she explained.

He frowned again, "No offense, Sharon, but why is he here? Shouldn't he be talking to Lieutenant Provenza about whatever is bothering him? They are best friends even when they try to act like they want to kill each other."

"I'm his friend too," Sharon said with a small smile. "Sometimes, you need certain friends for certain things. Rusty thought about it, and Sharon continued, "You might not realize it, but when you want to just talk about anything random, you talk to Buzz. When you need to discuss things related to addiction, you go to Andy. When you're really in deep and want someone to have your back because you know I'll be mad, you go to the lieutenant. It's the same here. Andy is a good friend, and I'll do whatever I can to help."

"Okay, yeah, I guess," he nodded. "I'll grab my water and head back to bed. I've even got my headphones."

"Thanks, Rusty," Sharon said, reaching for him. She squeezed his hand as he walked by her, and she waited for him to get his water and return to his room. As he walked by her again, she said, "I appreciate you not discussing this with the team. Andy's business is Andy's business."

"Sure, fine," he agreed. "Night, Sharon."

Sharon heard Rusty's door close, and she continued to sit, waiting for Andy. It was another five minutes later or so, he reappeared, looking much better than he had before. She nodded to the chair.

"Hungry?" she asked. He shook his head and sat down. He almost sank into the chair, and he instantly sipped the tea.

"I think," he said and paused, trying to find his words. He put the cup on the table and wrapped his hands around it as he stared at it. "I think I already knew it was over; it was never really started," he admitted, "but hearing the disappointment, breaking her heart again, destroying it really, that was almost more than I could take. I knew it would be bad, but I think I gave her reason to never trust or forgive me. I've never done anything that hard. Even telling you was easier."

He finally looked at Sharon, and she gave him a sympathetic nod. She cleared her throat, "It was hard to hear that, but I'm not turning my back on you, Andy."

He sighed, "Sandra couldn't believe it. In a way, she could, but she couldn't. I've lived with this for 20 years, Sharon, and I can't believe I'm finally admitting it, owning up to it. The problem is I have some kid out there who never knew me, who hates me more than anything. I almost can't look myself in the mirror."

Sharon pursed her lips, "A couple of things, just speaking from the technical standpoint-you cannot be sure the baby was yours, and another thing, you don't even know if there is a baby out there. Who knows what could have happened."

Andy eyed her, almost ashamed to do so, "There's a kid out there, Sharon. She was like six, seven months pregnant then. She had a kid."

"All I meant was that she could have given the baby up for adoption. You don't know. You said you tried searching for her. When did you do that, and what did you find?"

"I mean, yeah, I did, but I have to be honest and say I did a crappy job of it. On one hand, I wanted to find her, but on the other, I didn't. I didn't want to face the facts. I was still drinking. It's not like I saw her and said, wow, my kid, so I'd better get my act together. No! I had a whole family at home who couldn't be enough for me. I tried a little. I wanted to find her to get to the bottom of everything, but I also knew that would blow up my life. So, I dug a little. I went back to the bar, tried to get her name."

Sharon raised an eyebrow at Andy, "You didn't know her name?"

Andy frowned and glanced at her, but he looked away quickly, "I mean," he tilted his head back and forth, "I was a drunk guy in a bar, hitting on the bartender, night after night. I didn't need to know her name. She was looking for a good time too. We managed without knowing names. I guess in talking to her each night, it just didn't come up. I was just a guy; she was there. We both needed something from the other. Her name was Michelle. That's all I ever got. They wouldn't give me her last name, and I didn't push. Like I said, I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of pursuing it, even though I did the deed."

Sharon listened, and when he put his head in his hands, she sighed and started to ask questions, "Why did this now come up? It's been 20 years. Did this all surface with the counseling?"

"Yeah," he said, still not looking at her. "I've always wondered, thought about what the kid might be like. I don't know anything-girl or boy, birthday, last name, nothing. Does the kid look like me? Kid would be just a little older than Rusty. I suppose I started thinking about it all more when Rusty came into your life, since I've gotten to know him and you. I've watched you try to be a parent to him. I've heard all about his life and wondered how my kid turned out. I wasn't there, ever. Rusty has had no dad, and what I did would be the same. I know how much he resents all that. With Nic's wedding, it was the thought of my kids growing up. I don't know," he sighed. "Then, all that started with Sandra," he finally looked at her. "Sandra was a mistake, the idea we could ever be anything. I had this image of finding a perfect family, and with that, it seemed logical to fix my own family. She and I never could get beyond basic things, always an argument. The last few weeks have been really hard, really hard," he added. "I suppose we kept trying because we wanted to believe it, force it. I knew this was lingering, and I suppose deep down, I knew I couldn't fully embrace anything without clearing the air. I did, finally," he shook his head. "It's out there. Sandra hates me. Kids will too, and once again, I've made a mess of things."

"What did Sandra say?" Sharon asked, and then, she shook her head. "You don't have to tell me; I'm going to stop talking."

"No," he waved at her. "It's fine. She said what I did is exactly why she threw me out. I was spiraling out of control, and she didn't know the man I'd become. She was right. Any trust she might have been trying to give me now was gone because I'd kept this secret. She said that the fact I'd hidden it for 20 years was even worse and questioned my integrity as a human being. She's right," he sighed. "Even when I got sober, I didn't come clean; I didn't fully make my amends. It's like my whole sobriety has been a sham. What's the point? I basically lied to the program. It's like today is Day 1 because it's finally out there."

The two looked at each other, but Sharon kept her word and didn't speak again. She looked down at her drink, and Andy, after looking at her a few seconds, looked to his. He finally sighed loudly, and then, he gestured with his hand, "I'm sorry, Sharon, about all of this. I always know how to ruin a good thing. It's all I've ever done. I ruined my family. I ruined some bartender's life. I ruined what you and I were doing," he said, now staring at her. "I ruined any sort of cordial existence with Sandra, probably my kids too. I ruin lives."

At that, Sharon cleared her throat and nodded, "I think you need to go home. We can hash this out all night, go in circles with the blame game, sling accusations, but you are exhausted in every way possible."

Andy looked up at her, almost surprised she was suggesting that. He was almost waiting for another round of screaming, similar to what he'd heard from Sandra. He opened his mouth to speak, but then, he just nodded in agreement.

"It's late, almost morning," she added. "I know you haven't slept. You're going to go home and go to bed. I know you are alert enough to drive because this, everything tonight, isn't something that you will just sleep off and forget tomorrow. Now," she said as she stood. She looked to him and held out her hand, "You're going to go home."

"Okay," he said. "My shirt-"

"I'll return it to you when it's clean. You have your undershirt still," she added. "Go home, Andy, please."

He paused while she had her hand on his arm, and he tilted his head at her, "You're not worried I'll go to the bar?"

"You've already been, and you didn't drink. Most are closed. You know the way from my house to yours. I trust you and expect you will drive it now. If you've kept your sobriety through all of this, you will get home. You'll also get some rest," she stated.

"Okay," he nodded in agreement, and Sharon squeezed his arm, taking his hand in hers as she walked him to the door. She opened it, still trying to be somewhat firm with him, "Be careful," she said quietly.

"Yeah," he waved. "Sorry about, about being a constant thorn in your side, and I mean that for the last 20 something years up to right now."

She pursed her lips, "You reached out for help. Do not apologize for that. I will always be here for you."

"Night," he said and dropped his head, not wanting to look her in the eye again. Sharon watched as he walked by the security detail, nodding to them, and she gave them a small wave too. She closed the door and sank against it again, a move similar to one she'd made just a few hours ago. Her mind started to process everything, and she collected herself and went in search of her phone.

"Lieutenant," she said, after he answered the phone. "I'm sorry to have called you so late, and no, this is not about a crime scene."

"Captain," he answered, still groggy from sleep. "Rusty-is he okay? Is this about the stalker?"

"No, Lieutenant, and I hope you understand that I would not be calling you in the middle of the night if this could wait. I believe you need to go check on Andy."

"Flynn! What has he done? Captain, he's not at a bar, is he?" Provenza asked.

"No, but he was earlier. I just sent him home. He was here, and right now, Lieutenant, he needs his friends, especially you," she said.

"He was at your place?" Provenza asked.

"As you know, Lieutenant, Andy and I are friends. He reached out to me tonight, and this is big, something he will need both of us in order to deal with things."

"Okay," Provenza said, understanding her vague response. "I understand. I'll head over there."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I think it's for the best, both of us being involved. Please make sure he does not come to work in the morning," Sharon explained.

"That bad?" Provenza asked.

"He's in no shape to be effective in the office. Over the next few days, you and I will get him back on his feet and figure out where things go from here. Thank you, Lieutenant. You're a good friend," she said.

"Apparently, Flynn has two of those," he added. "I'll be in touch."


	17. Chapter 17

The week was somewhat of a blur. That seemed to hold true for Sharon, for Provenza, and most of all for Andy. His news, his bombshell of news, hit hard. While Sharon had kept her feelings in check while speaking to Andy, she found herself thinking about his situation when she allowed her mind to wander. This was big, life-changing, and it had changed lives. It had started changing lives over 20 year ago, and still, the new was destroying people left and right.

To say Provenza was shocked and an understatement. Sharon had the text messages to prove it, but as expected, he was the friend Andy needed. She'd been correct in her assessment that Andy needed Provenza. Sharon just felt that she couldn't fill all of Andy's needs in this situation; it was too messy, and she knew his long-time friend could help. It wasn't her place to tell Provenza, but she felt he needed to be told Andy was in trouble. Provenza had agreed after he'd gotten over the shock. If there was any good in the situation, it was that Andy's wasn't drinking; he'd stayed sober, and both Provenza and Sharon had told Andy they would help him work through this.

That is how, two nights later, Sharon found herself at Andy's place, there to sit and talk through more of the mess. She'd had time to think, as had he. Provenza was helping out again, this time by entertaining Rusty. While they knew this was not the type of information that would stay quiet, both Sharon and Provenza wanted to help Andy sort out things before anyone, Rusty included, found out. Sharon knew it was going to be a lot for Rusty. Here, this man he'd befriended, trusted even with personal questions and stories about sobriety, had a dark secret. He had a secret that would bother Rusty too, as a fatherless child himself. Sharon knew Rusty would never look at Andy the same; she was trying to put her own thoughts aside, but in all of it, Andy had to get this out. It was a huge secret, but as he'd said, he'd agonized about it too long.

"Hi," she smiled at him when he opened his door. It was later than she would have liked, but Andy had wanted to go to a meeting after work. She'd made him stay home the day after his big reveal, and Provenza had agreed. Andy was in no shape to work , and he'd spent the day at home trying to get his head on straight. Today, he'd worked, and she'd made sure he had as normal of a day as possible. At exactly 5:00, she sent the team home, grateful they had a light day. He'd gone to work, she had taken Rusty home where she'd also changed, and she'd sent Rusty out with Provenza and his security detail for dinner. Sharon met Andy's gaze as she stood there, and she gestured to her hand.

"I brought some dinner. Hungry?" Sharon eyed him, waiting for him to let her in the house.

"Not really, but come in," he stood to the side. "I'm ready to have it, get a lecture from you, have you yell and scream at me," he told her after he closed the door. Sharon had continued to the kitchen counter where she was now unpacking the Chinese food. "I can't stand the silent treatment Sharon."

She turned to him and shook her head, "I'm not giving you silent treatment."

"You aren't giving me grief either or your opinion," he said, almost snapping at her. "I'm going crazy here. I know what Sandra thinks. I got an earful from Provenza, but you,"he gestured and continued, "you haven't said a word."

Sharon clasped her hands in front of herself, and she lowered her head. She pursed her lips and then spoke, "I have always said I believe in second chances. It take a lot for someone to admit mistakes, to make amends. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't apply that same standard to you. Does it surprise me? Yes," she nodded. "Do I think it defines you? I believe it could; it did. I also believe what you do from this point forward can also define you. For now," she nodded, "that is all I will say."

Andy looked to her, surprised at her response, and finally, he just nodded, "Okay, fair enough."

"Let's eat. I'm hungry," Sharon said.

"Go ahead," he waved and moved to the couch. He slumped down on it and sat back, resting his head against the back of the couch. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't really care," Sharon said, slipping more into her mom mode. "I brought food, and I'm not going to eat alone."

Andy raised his head and saw her pulling the cartons out of the bag. She walked into his kitchen and started looking through the cabinets. While she had been at his place before, most of their activity had been restricted to the bedroom. Any time they had been in the kitchen, they'd been distracted with each other. Sharon returned around the counter with plates and silverware in hand, and she walked over to put them on the coffee table. After she assembled the cartons, she gestured to him, "Eat."

"Shouldn't you be with Rusty?" Andy asked.

"He's busy tonight. I'm here," she said.

He raised an eyebrow at her as she sat and started to dish out her own food, "Okay, as I recall, when Rusty was busy, you and I got together plenty. I thought you had that same thing going with some guy."

"Paul, and tonight, I'm here," she said crisply.

"Paul?" Andy repeated the name like he was testing it.

Sharon turned slightly and narrowed her gaze, "He is not up for discussion."

Andy shrugged, "Okay, fine. I thought we were friends. I obviously shared my dirt."

"What I do with Paul is not a discussion I will have with you, seeing as you have a pretty good idea about that anyway. I came here to discuss this large bomb you dropped on your family."

"What about it? I'm a lousy guy who can't even be honest when making amends," he sighed. He pulled a plate toward himself and started to hastily spoon food onto his plate. Sharon paused and turned to him.

"Andy, you have to stop with this. The next step is yours, whatever you want to do. Look, this secret ate at you for so long because," she put down her fork and turned more toward him where she touched his arm, "because you are a decent man. You do care. You've thought about this, agonized about this for a long time. You do care. You've just buried it. What I'm here to discuss tonight is with this information out there now, how do you plan to proceed?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I destroyed me family with this. I don't know how to proceed. I'm thankful you and Provenza are still talking to me."

"I think you do know," Sharon said quietly. She stood up and walked to the kitchen, "I'm going to get a glass of water."

Andy sat there while she was gone. He could hear her in the kitchen, and he turned that way, even though his mind was almost blank, like he wasn't even seeing her. He shook his head when she put down two glasses of water and sat back down to face him. He gave her a small smile, the first real smile he'd given her in days.

"I think I need to find Michelle, see what happened, see if my kid is out there," he admitted. "I'm just not sure I want to know what I find."

Sharon met his gaze and just looked at him. He looked back at her, and finally, she nodded in agreement. She stood again, and he watched as she walked back to the counter. She brought her purse back to the couch where she pulled out a piece of paper.

"Based on the few details you shared with Provenza, mainly just the name of the bar, I found this," she said and handed him a piece of paper. Andy narrowed his eyes at her, shocked that she'd done that, and he accepted the paper while staring at her. She didn't change her facial expression at all, but just handed him the paper.

He looked at it, her handwriting there with just a name, "Roy Cumpler," it said. Confused, he looked at Sharon and nodded back at the paper, "What's this? Who is Roy Cumpler? I guess that's his number?"

Sharon hummed as she nodded, "I did a basic search. The bar closed almost 10 years ago. He was the owner, and that," she pointed to a number, "is his most recent phone number. I don't know if he's still at that number. He might be able to assist you in at least getting a name, a full name. With that, we can start searching."

"We?" Andy looked to her.

"Andy, by now, through everything, you know I am your friend, first and foremost. I am here for you, and I'm going to help you with this, Provenza too, but he might just be more in the background. Rusty is with him tonight."

"Oh," he nodded, "right, so you're almost working here, which explains why you aren't off with Paul," he gestured and almost spit out the name.

"A simple 'Thanks, Sharon,' or really, if you insist I'm working and want to keep this profession, a 'Thanks, Captain,' would be acceptable. Now, considering our past, I'm fine with Sharon, but you could also do Option 3, which is what you seem to be very good at right now, the sulking and pity party mode I see you in. Honestly, Provenza thought you'd resort to that, but I was hopeful that as ahh, intimately," she raised her eyebrow at him and continued, "as I know you, you just might be ready to actually get to work on this, Lieutenant."

Andy looked down at the paper, turning it over in his fingers. Sharon was staring at him; he knew it, and without looking at her, he said, "If I start this, I can't undo it."

"Andy, you couldn't undo this 21 years ago when you decided to take a bartender to bed. Everything has a consequence. Some are worse than others. It's just up to you to decide what you want to do next."


	18. Chapter 18

It was the middle of the next week, and the team had all been dismissed for the day. Sharon had waved to them as some had left, and she had turned to her stack of paperwork. She was looking forward to an empty office if truth be told. She didn't get that often, and while she really should go home herself, she wanted to get her paperwork done. More would arrive tomorrow, and she really needed to sign the expense reports. She jumped in her chair when her door was flung open, and she frowned up at Andy for his bold entrance.

"Why didn't you tell me you've been getting threatening letters like Rusty?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for answers. She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Lieutenant, may I ask what this was all about?" she gestured to the door being flung open. Sharon knew it was now after hours, but using his rank right now seemed appropriate.

He sat down in the chair opposite her and gestured back at her, "You heard me. Come on, Sharon," he frowned again. "I'm sitting out there, discussing a few things with Provenza, when he said something about the latest letter, asking if I saw it today. With the open discussion the three of us have been having lately," he scowled, "he assumed you'd told me that. Oh, and so there is no confusion, Captain," he said with haste, "we're off the clock. This isn't a work matter; this is a friend worried about a friend."

Sharon looked to the floor and picked at lint on her dress, "It's not a big deal. It's harmless, and you have more on your plate than you need right now."

"Not a big deal!" Andy exclaimed. Sharon looked up and spotted Provenza leaving the office, giving her a small wave and almost a look of apology. She gave him a single nod and turned her attention back to Andy. "Sharon, seriously? You've been worried sick about Rusty. He's been getting those letters, and I have to hear you have too? Why don't you have a security detail?"

Sharon narrowed her gaze, "In case you have forgotten, I am a trained detective, unlike Rusty. If I'm home, he is often home too, so the security detail is outside. Otherwise, I'm at work, very safe here," she moved her hand in the air, "and other times, if I'm out, I'm with someone else, perfectly safe."

"I don't like it, Sharon," he sighed, putting his hand up to his face. "You don't need to deal with that."

"You're right," she nodded in agreement. "I don't, but it's a fact of life. We will find this guy, and in the interim, I can handle these ridiculous letters he's sending. Rusty cannot. This guy isn't interested in me, just Rusty. He's attempting to scare me, and it will not work."

Andy let out his breath and his eyes met hers, "Hey," he smiled softly at her, trying not to stay too agitated, "I worry about you. I just want you to be safe. I get you are a cop too, but still. I mean, when you are out, like," he gestured his hand in the air and rolled his eyes, "spending time with Paul, I hope he's aware of the situation."

Sharon pursed her lips, "I have things under control. Now, let's discuss your situation. How is the search?"

"You can't just expect me to not worry, Sharon," he shook his head. "Please don't shut me out. If something happens with the letters, I hope you will tell me. We're friends, as we keep saying. I've let out every bit of dirty laundry I have with you, so I expect, hope," he corrected, "you will afford me the same courtesy?"

Sharon looked up and found him waiting for an answer, "If anything further develops, out of the norm of just more letters, I'll keep you posted."

"Thank you," he said to her. "I'm meeting with that bar owner later tonight. Guy now works graveyard shift at some plant, and it's been a struggle to find time to meet. We're meeting at 10:00; he has to be at work at 11:00 tonight."

Sharon raised an eyebrow at him, "Do you think he remembers anything?"

"Don't know, but if I can just get a last name, I can start with that," he told her.

"We can start with that," she agreed. "I'm going to help you find this woman."

"Provenza offered to go with me tonight, but I don't want to spook this guy, you know? Show up, two cops, and he could think he's in trouble. Far from it. I just need to explain how I caused trouble and need to start fixing it."

Sharon frowned, "Andy, what is your goal out of this?"

"Find Michelle and see what happened," Andy said. "Ultimately, I believe I have a kid out there, and I need to meet him or her."

"You know this could go badly," Sharon pointed out to him. Andy nodded and dropped his head.

"Way I see it, it really can't get worse. I mean, she could hate me. Kid could hate me, but I figure they already do. This all haunts my dreams, and I need to have some closure, maybe apologize for my behavior. I know it won't be easy to dig through all of this."

Sharon listened and nodded as he spoke, "Call me later tonight after you've spoken to this bar owner, please."

"Ahh, sure, okay," he said as he stood, understanding that they were done talking. "It might be late."

"It's fine; I'll be up. I should be home by then," she told him.

Andy raised an eyebrow, "You can't seriously stay here and do paperwork until then. Where's Rusty, anyways?"

"He is helping with a play at school, not really by choice," she explained. "His doing the tech side, lights, whatever," she said waving her hand. "He's not excited about it, but he has to do a certain number of hours for his arts credit, which he's taking a stage and theater class. You know he'd opt for that and not the acting part."

Andy chuckled as he smiled, "Yeah, I can't see him on stage. You didn't answer my question about working all night."

"I won't be working all night," she said, eyeing him. "I'll be home later. Call me when you finish."

Andy's eyes widened; Sharon had a look on her face, one that told him to not pry, one that really explained what she might be doing after work. He looked up to the ceiling so he didn't have to look at her. He'd ended those times together, and as much as he wanted to take her to bed, he knew he couldn't. He'd told her to move on; he'd messed up their agreement. Now, his world was crashing down on him. Sandra had refused to speak to him, and he knew he couldn't go crawling back to Sharon begging to start up their rolls in the sack again.

"I'll call," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. "Sure it won't be a problem?"

"I'll be home," she said, giving him a small smile. "Good luck tonight."

Sharon had spoken to Rusty's security detail and was just walking in the door at 11:30 when Andy called her. She answered her phone as she locked up her door, "Well?"

"He's going to check his records," Andy explained. "He seemed like a somewhat decent guy. He vaguely remembered her, but it's been 20 years, and I had a feeling he'd hired plenty of pretty young women back in the day. I mean, why wouldn't he? He was running a bar, and let's look at what did it for me-I kept coming back to talk to the pretty lady. Anyway, he couldn't remember her name, but he said he still had some old work records in storage. He's going to get those, go through them, and get back to me."

"Okay," Sharon said, as she walked down the hall. She waved at Rusty from the doorway; he was lying on his bed, listening to his headphones, and he nodded at her. She turned back and walked to the kitchen, intent on making a cup of tea. "That sounds hopeful at least."

"Yeah, I thought so too. I'm just getting home. Hope it wasn't too late to call," he said.

"No," she replied. "I'm making a cup of tea right now."

"Sharon, I appreciate you helping me with this, but it's eating me up inside that you haven't told me off yet, haven't chewed me out for this disaster," he sighed.

"Let's focus on the problem, Andy," she told him. "Now, what is going on with Sandra and the kids?"

"Oh, she told the kids, and let's just say that none of them are interested in talking to me. See, that is why I kick myself wondering why I ever thought we could be anything again. She told them and didn't even give me a chance. Kids have canceled therapy the last two times. I called the therapist and explained things, the basic rundown and begged her to see if the kids will come back. I want to talk to them."

"Good," Sharon nodded. "Keep trying." Her tea kettle whistled, and she started to prepare her cup of tea. Andy sighed as he heard her.

"I really screwed up things, didn't I? I mean that on every level of my life, everything I've done. With you, we had a good arrangement going, and I ruined that. I know we wanted different things, but I didn't recognize that I can't do the right thing ever. I wish I was there with you, having a cup of tea at least," he admitted.

"Andy," she sighed and closed her eyes, "let's keep focusing on this. We're still friends, still talking."

"We were friends before. Look, I guess in making all my amends lately, in coming clean with everyone, I am going to just flat out tell you. I miss sleeping with you. I'm not saying that for you to drop Paul, but I do. It was a good thing, no, amazing. We proved that we could handle mixing business with pleasure. Not many can do that, but we could. I miss that."

Sharon closed her eyes and shook her head, "I think you need to get some rest. You've been going strong all week, are still dealing with the fallout from this, and even tonight, you just got home from work. It's almost midnight, and your loneliness is talking right now. I'm glad you have a potential lead, and we will wait to hear how that pans out for this."

"You're right," he sighed. "Night, Sharon, and for what it's worth, I am glad you are in my life."

"Me too, Andy," she said and hung up the phone.


	19. Chapter 19

It wasn't until the end of November, just after Thanksgiving, that Andy finally heard back from the bar owner. The team had just closed out a case, two brother who died after taking a bad batch of drugs, and everyone was busy writing up reports. Andy's work phone rang, and he answered it, assuming it was something about the case. As soon as he realized it was the bar owner, he tried to mask the conversation as best he could, just asking for facts. He hung up the phone with a crucial fact now in hand. With that, he stood and turned toward Sharon's office. She had her blinds closed, and he knew something had been bothering her, but aside from helping him over the last few weeks, the two really hadn't spoken. He knew his admission of wishing he was still sleeping with her left an elephant in the room, but now, with this information, he was hoping they could work together, work as a team; she was a great detective, and he hoped this could help mend things with her.

It wasn't as if Sharon had gotten mad at him, quite the opposite. She'd barely said anything negative to him. Sandra, on the other hand, had gotten mad enough for everyone. He'd tried to talk to her, to possibly reason with her, several times over the last weeks, but she wasn't interested. Thankfully, Nicole was still talking to him, and he knew he had her new husband to thank. He'd written them all letters, at the suggestion of his therapist, but he hadn't heard back from Sandra or his son. Nicole had called him after she got her letter, and she'd told him that Dean, her husband, had pointed out the many good things Andy was trying to do. Their relationship wasn't perfect; it never would be perfect, but he was hopeful he could improve things with Nicole. She was at least still coming to counseling. She was the only one coming when Andy had his family sessions, but she was coming. He was making a huge effort with Nicole and didn't want to screw it up anymore than he already had.

With his newly acquired information in hand, Andy turned toward Sharon's office. He didn't get anywhere because she opened her door to step out, surprising him.

"Oh, hi," she said, clearly surprised. "Did you need something? I'm going to get a cup of tea." She turned to the rest of the team, "Reports coming along okay?"

The team glanced at her and nodded, some trying to watch the interaction with the two. Andy waited for her to turn back toward him, and he held up a piece of paper, "Just had something I wanted to run by you."

"Okay, sure," she tried to gauge his demeanor. "Want to walk and talk?"

"Sure," he nodded, dropping his head. He gestured for her to walk first. He could see Provenza watching out of the corner of his eye. He'd update him later. Provenza had asked about any leads almost every day, and finally, he had one. Andy waited until they were out into the hallway before he said anything further.

"I heard back from the bar owner," he said quietly. It was a short walk to the break room, and Sharon froze in mid-stride, turning to him, her eyes widened.

"And?" she asked, gesturing with her hand, her eyes searching his for any sign of news.

Andy opened the door to the break room for her and waited until the door closed before he held up the piece of paper. Sharon had stopped just inside the room and turned to him, her arms crossed, "I got a name," he shook his head. "I can't believe I got a name."

"Andy," Sharon eyed him, waiting for him to tell her more.

"Michelle Smith, no kidding," he slightly rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Of course, it had to be one of the most common names in America."

Sharon frowned and looked to the ground, nodding. He put his hands in his pockets, and he, too, looked to the floor. Finally, Sharon spoke.

"Well, it's a start," she told him.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I guess now, I start searching. I can start by going back, checking with all the hospital birth records in the area for her name back then. I am not sure the exact month," he frowned in admission. "She never said how far along she was, and I'm terrible at judging. It, we," he gestured with his hand as he met her gaze, "it went on a few months."

Sharon pursed her lips and nodded, not wanting to discuss the details, "I guess you start with a background search on her, women with that name. You don't know her exact age?"

"Other than late 20's then, no," he shook his head. "Look, you don't have to worry about me searching. I'll do it on off-hours. I won't be using anything here at work. It will be more like I'm a private investigator."

Her eyes widened, "I'd never assume anything else. I'll help," she gave a single nod.

"Sharon," he sighed. "You don't have to help with my mess. Look, I basically told you I have a pattern, a habit, one of sleeping with women where I say it means nothing. For what it's worth, you aren't just nothing to me. It wasn't a relationship between us, but it wasn't just nothing either. I care about you, always will, sleeping together or not."

"Let's focus on what we need to do with this case," she said, her voice dropping into her work tone. Andy knew it, and he nodded, acknowledging any personal conversation was over.

"Provenza offered to help too. I'll make a game plan," he explained.

"Okay, fine," she said, her lips now tightly together, like she was holding back. Finally, she gestured, "I might have a lot of time on my hands if Rusty takes Taylor's offer."

"Witness protection?" Andy raised an eyebrow and shook his head at her. "Provenza and Rusty were talking about it in the hall. They filled me in. Come on, you know Rusty won't do that, Sharon."

"It might be best for him," she sighed. "I didn't think so, but what do I know anymore. I can't trust my own judgment."

"Staying with you is best for him," he told her. "I think you know that."

She met his gaze, "I want him to stay, but I realize my judgement is clouded. I see him as my son, and I need to see him as someone I need to protect, not as a family member."

"He can be both; we protect people we love every single day," Andy explained. "Sharon, if you need to talk-"

"I'm fine," she waved her hand. "Rusty and Provenza even are trying to convince me to allow him to act as bait for the stalker."

Andy raised his eyebrow again, "It's not a bad idea, I mean, we are the police. I get it, though, it's dangerous."

"Let's focus on finding this Michelle Smith," Sharon stated very formally.

Andy frowned, trying to get Sharon to look at him, his eyes searching for hers. "We have a name. This woman had my kid. I can't undo that."

"I'm aware," she nodded. "You want answers, so let's come up with a plan to get them."

It was several nights later before Andy and Sharon could sit down to look at everything Andy had collected. They'd worked through another case, and Rusty was out seeing a movie with Buzz along with his protection detail in tow. Sharon heard the knock at the door and moved quickly to open it.

"Okay, first of all," he started when she opened the door. She almost jumped back, surprised at the greeting. "I'm not the kind of person who likes to get bogged down in the rules?" Andy flashed a grin and as he tried to hold back, he just started laughing. "Oh man, I've wanted to laugh about that since you said it yesterday while we were interviewing that deputy. If I hadn't been there in person, I probably wouldn't have believed you said it."

Sharon rolled her eyes as she gestured for him to enter, "You know as much as I do we don't exactly always tell the 100% truth to potential suspects."

"There was nothing true about that, Sharon," he shook his head. "Nothing."

He paused just inside the door while she closed and locked it. He was waiting for her, looking at her, and when she turned to him she shrugged, "I beg to differ."

"Okay," he said in an almost teasing tone, "tell me when you haven't been bogged down by the rules?"

Sharon crossed her arms and eyed him, "Need I remind you about recent things? For awhile, I was involved with a subordinate officer while still married."

"Come on," he waved at her, "those were all technicalities. The," he gestured, now clearing his throat at this awkward topic, "thing between us, was not against a rule, and we had no relationship. Besides, we came out of that still friends. You've been legally separated for two decades."

"Still," Sharon said as she moved by Andy and toward the kitchen, "I don't always get bogged down by the rules, just most of the time."

"Okay, fine," he sighed, realizing he'd mistakenly created an awkward moment when he just wanted to tease her about her comment from work. He followed her into the kitchen where she was making tea and coffee. "Look, I'm not trying to create anything awkward here."

"I know," she nodded, her back to him as she made the drinks. "You were in a good mood, and I put a damper on that. Let's start again. What has you in a good mood?"

"Nothing in particular," he shook his head as he put his small folder of information down on the table. He looked over to Sharon. "I guess for the first time in a long time I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I mean, this is nowhere near over, but I've put everything out in the open for once. I guess I still have people to inform, but I actually believe I'm trying to make real amends, like finally coming clean about everything. I haven't felt that. It's freeing."

Sharon nodded from the kitchen, choosing to remain quiet. She turned with the cups in hand, and Andy moved to help her. "I've got it," she nodded to the table. "You can sit, or if you are hungry, I made some vegetable soup. I haven't eaten myself."

"When are you planning to eat?" Andy eyed her.

Sharon shrugged, "I don't know, maybe not at all."

Andy frowned, "So, basically, if I sit and have a bowl of soup, you will too?"

"I suppose," she admitted. "I don't want to be rude eating while you work."

"Oh good grief," he rolled his eyes and stood again, walking into the kitchen. "Let's eat while we work, okay? I had a stale piece of banana bread at my meeting, but otherwise, no dinner."

Sharon started to stand too, and Andy waved her off, "I'll heat up the soup. If you are interested, check what I have so far."

Sharon nodded and opened the folder. There wasn't much in it, mostly handwritten information from Andy. After she read through the brief packet, she cleared her throat, "When did she tell you about the baby? Do you remember the month?"

"No," he frowned as he watched the soup heating in the microwave. "I don't. The pregnancy would have happened before I went off to that rehab stint. I did that in March that year. So it was sometime before then." Sharon pursed her lips and nodded. She hadn't discussed much about this, and that was for good reason. She looked back over to Andy.

"Timeframe, anything? When did you start sleeping with her?" she asked.

Andy flashed his eyes at her and quickly looked away, "I can't remember exactly, but sometime late that summer before, August maybe."

"August?" Sharon's eyes widened. "So," she waved her hand, "you started sleeping with her in August, and that continued through March when you went to rehab? You got out in May, and she was pregnant?"

Andy let out a long sigh, "Yeah, that's about right. I need to write that down in my timeline." Andy returned to the table with the soup and sat down.

Sharon gestured again, "And, you didn't notice she was pregnant before you went to rehab?"

"No, I mean," he shrugged, "look, it wasn't exactly a relationship, and I didn't see her all the time. I mean, sure," he closed his eyes and dropped his head, "I saw her more times than I care to admit, but it wasn't anything real, Sharon. It was always in the back of my crappy car. I'm embarrassed I have to share this with you. I'm really sorry."

Sharon pursed her lips, "Let's focus on facts. You said you could tell she was pregnant when you returned, correct?"

"Yeah, like at least four, maybe five months. She was thin to start, and there was no question a baby was in there. I don't know why I didn't put it together right away. I guess I was drinking, and with that, it's not like I was doing anything well then."

"When did you start drinking again after rehab?" Sharon asked, now looking him right in the eye.

Andy sighed and frowned, "Memorial Day weekend that year. That I remember. I had begged Sandra to let me see the kids for the weekend. I had two days off from work, and I wanted to take them to Disney, something fun. She refused. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but I tried a meeting. Back then, I didn't have my regular group like I do now. I tried calling Provenza, but he was busy with his family, you know, back when he was married. He invited me over, but the idea of that, sitting around with another man's family, I just found myself back at the bar, back there for something comfortable."

"Okay, and this is when she told you?" Sharon asked, eying him.

"Yeah," he said simply and frowned. "That night, she took off. No idea what happened after that."

"So, with that information," Sharon said in a very professional, business tone, "we have to assume the baby was born sometime in the summer to fall. She didn't look like she was going to have it right then, did she?"

"No," he frowned, "she didn't, but to be more exact, I don't know. I don't remember. It was one of those shock moments when she told me, and I really thought we were going to talk after her shift. She took off. Like I said, by best estimate, four or five months."

"We can narrow the search to let's say, June through ahh maybe mid December," she suggested as she typed something on her phone. "I'm looking at one of those websites. Even if, by chance, you two conceived the baby right before you left, which is doubtful, mid-December would be the latest. I know it's broad, but it's a start. We have narrowed it down to a block of time that year, but we can mainly focus on late summer you think?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Sharon, I can't thank you for helping me. I mean, even starting with just this information, it does help. You're too good to me," he gave her a soft smile. She met his gaze and looked back to her soup. "You would think I learned my lesson with her," he sighed. "I don't know why the appeal is there to have these flings, I guess I like being comfortable with a woman. I didn't really realize until now what I was doing with her is what I was doing with you, just sober and not in the back of my car."

Sharon hummed, and she finally put down her spoon, "Well, at least with me, I wasn't a pregnancy risk." She gave him a small smile. Andy groaned and dropped his head.

"You just really are good at sorting through facts here," he nodded to the file.

"You normally are too, but perhaps your judgment is clouded with this hitting close to home. Same could be said for my judgement with Rusty on this protective detail and trying to draw out the stalker," she pointed out.

"Good point," he nodded. "We're quite a mess, you and me."

"So, let's start sorting out this," she put her hand on the stack of paperwork. "We need to get to the bottom of this."


	20. Chapter 20

"You sure Rusty is okay home alone tonight?" Andy asked as they walked to his car. Sharon had been quiet since he picked her up, ready to enjoy the evening, but still a bit intrigued to his odd behavior.

"He'll be fine," she nodded. "He has a pile of homework to complete, and now that he's on board with playing chess with Dr. Joe," she rolled her eyes, "he's participating in more and more of those online chess forums to learn new moves. Now, as I asked yesterday at work, do you want to tell me what is really going on?" Sharon stood there by Andy's car in a knee-length burgundy dress, simple, but elegant. She had a coordinating shawl wrapped around her arms, and the two were on their way to dinner and the ballet.

"No," he said quickly, and as soon as he caught her glaring at him, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, it's just the family mess, you know?"

"I know," she said patting his chest. He opened the door for her, and she got into his car. He walked around and got in too, ready to offer more now that he'd let down his guard.

"I also didn't know if you'd be free to go. I didn't want to get in the way of your plans," he admitted.

"I'm free tonight, busy tomorrow evening," she said pulling at lint on her dress. She turned to him at that, giving him a look.

"Oh, yeah, right," he nodded. "I won't ask the specifics."

"I won't offer them either," she nodded, turning back to look out the front of the window. "You didn't have to come up with some story about your grandsons in the ballet for me to attend with you. I know what is going on with your family; I know that you are trying to repair things with Nicole. I know it's very difficult with the rest of them, and I know they are all going to be there tonight."

"Right," he sighed. "They remember you from the wedding," he added. "Sandra hasn't asked, not since things blew up, but I wonder if she suspects you are the one I told her about with everything."

Sharon raised an eyebrow, "I suppose it is what it is now. We've ended that, and you and Sandra aren't together. What's done is done. Will she ask?"

"Maybe," he shrugged. "I don't know what I will say, maybe just that you are a friend. I can still avoid it. Thanks for coming. I think I'll tell her you are my boss, a friend, and now, helping me with the search. She won't ask anything after that."

"You've told me that you are working on things with Nicole. What does she think about this news about a possible sibling?" Sharon asked.

He shook his head, "She doesn't want to be involved, doesn't want to know anything. I'm trying to let people have their time to adjust. I don't even know what will come of all this, and I guess until I have more answers, I can't really expect anything."

"Make any progress?" Sharon eyed him.

"Nah," he waved. "We've been busy the last couple days with the case."

"I was surprised you mentioned seeing your psychiatrist during the case," Sharon stated, shifting in her seat.

"I'm trying to just be straight, put it all out there," he admitted. "I haven't done that in a long time. Yeah, it was a little awkward, but it felt good to just be honest with people who care about me, well, everyone but Rios," he let out a low chuckle.

"Yes, she is in it for herself," Sharon said, sighing.

"You look really nice tonight," he said with a small smile at her. "Be honest-did I interrupt plans for tonight?"

"I rearranged my schedule," she admitted. "I know when a friend is in need. Rusty has plans now tomorrow, so it's fine I do too," she waved.

"Well, thanks for going to this with me," he said with a warm smile. "I promised dinner, and I hope it's okay that I take you to this seafood place down by the water. It's not that far from the theater."

Sharon twisted toward him, a huge smile on her face, "I love seafood. Jack hated it, so we rarely had it."

"I know you like it," he winked. "I don't think you've ever been to this place, at least I'm guessing you haven't. It's a favorite of mine, somewhere Provenza and I stumbled upon years ago."

Sharon gave him a horrified look, "Oh, please don't tell me this place was once a crime scene?"

"Really?" he flashed a smirk at her. "Why do you assume the worst?"

"I assume the worst because I'm usually not disappointed," she teased.

"It wasn't a crime scene, at least as far as I know. We had a double date there once, and I loved the place. Provenza did too, but that's because they had some fried fish mess, one of those giant combo platters. He got that, and it was this ridiculous mound of food," Andy said, gesturing the portion size.

Sharon chuckled at that, "Sounds like Provenza."

"So, with Rusty," Andy cleared his voice, "he's decided to stay with you. I know you have to be relieved."

"Yes, but that comes with other challenges. I'm not thrilled about this idea to use him as bait. He's working through the steps to go out and catch his stalker, but still," she shook her head.

Andy glanced at her, "I mean, he's still with you, and I know you love him. The alternative is what-witness protection? You don't want that."

"I want it all, in a way, and by that, I mean, I want him safe without having to worry about all of this. He shouldn't have a stalker tracking him. He's a teenager and has had such a rough life. I just want him safe and happy. Right now, I can't seem to provide either of those things. He's not safe, and he's not happy because we are trying to keep him safe." She sighed and looked out the window at the dark sky.

"Sharon, he loves you, and whether or not he wants to admit it, he's happy to be with you. If he wasn't, he'd go off in witness protection, no questions asked. I don't know if you realize this, but," he nudged her with his free arm, "you're a pretty great person to know, to be around all the time."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, "Thanks, it's just a lot."

Andy eyed her, "Are you happy Sharon? Here, I've been dumping on you, and I never give you a chance to talk to me. I mean, sure, I get the Rusty update, but what about you? Want to talk about what's going on in your life?"

"My life," Sharon said, clearing her throat, "is complicated and full of things to resolve. A night out like this helps," she said with a small smile. "It reminds me that while much is in chaos, there is still a holiday season upon us. Some are joyful and enjoying the Christmas season, and I do need to be reminded of that sometimes, even with as much as I truly love Christmas."

Andy frowned at her, "I mean, yeah, you make a good point, but you really aren't talking about anything going on with you personally. Rusty doesn't count. We're friends, and if I'm overstepping, just tell me, but I'd like to be able to be honest with each other."

"Okay," she nodded, "my kids aren't coming home for Christmas, somewhat due to Rusty's stalker situation, but Emily is extremely busy with her work, and Ricky, after hearing that Emily couldn't make it home, asked if it was okay to go skiing with some single guys from work. There," she shrugged. "I have a feeling the kids are leery of Rusty and are avoiding coming home."

Andy frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that. Your kids love you. Maybe they recognize you are under a great deal of stress and want to take that off of you. I get that seeing them is great, but any family visit brings about stress. Perhaps they will visit when Rusty's stalker is caught."

"Perhaps," she nodded. "Thank you, though," she turned to him, "for the invite tonight, whatever the ulterior motive is. So, I am supposed to report the kids' abilities to Nicole?" She smirked at that, hoping to change the subject.

Andy turned red and waved at her, "I got nervous asking you. I don't know why. We've done everything, "he said, glancing at her, "together, and I was more nervous to ask you to go to the dumb ballet my grandsons were in than I was to," he gestured with his free hand, "you know."

Sharon cleared her throat, her attempt to change the subject failing, as the new subject was not a topic she wanted to discuss either, and she said, "If things are that tense with Sandra, I don't see how telling her that I'm THE friend," she emphasized, "will help anything tonight. If it's not asking too much, I'd prefer my name be kept out of it. I think it will just make it worse for both of us."

"You're right," he nodded.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, irritated she'd suggested such a thing. "Here I am asking you to lie, and that's what you don't want to do. You've been keeping things from her for years. Just forget it."

"No," he shook his head. "You're right," he nodded. "It falls under the idea of it's none of her business now. We're not back together and won't be ever again. She doesn't need to know."

"I don't want you to lie-" she added.

He cut her off and said, "Look, she's made it clear we're history, and I have to agree it was not going to work. It was a terrible idea in the first place. Just when we were getting along, I ruined it. It's like all I do is ruin relationships, which is probably why the arrangement you and I had worked. We both made it clear it was nothing, not a relationship, and here we are, still friends. I admit I'm sorry I messed it up, at least by ending it, because it was a good thing. I enjoyed it, and I think you did too. It's like I can see a good thing staring at me in the face. Now, I'm in a mess with my whole family, and when I would really like to fall into bed with someone, I can't even do that anymore," he sighed. "Sorry," he waved. "I'm not trying to complain. I'm glad you moved on; you deserve some fun in your life. I hope the guy treats you well and realizes how great you are. You'd think I'd learn something from my mistakes."

"Andy," she sighed and looked over to him. She reached over and squeezed his shoulder, "you don't give yourself enough credit."

He waited, assuming she was going to say more. After several moments of silence, he nodded ahead, "We're here. This is the restaurant I wanted you to try. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will," she smiled, encouragingly. "Why don't we make a pact to discuss anything else tonight, hmm? Let's talk about our childhoods, movies we want to see, spring training," she winked, "anything else tonight, please?"

"I'd really like that," he nodded. "It will be almost weird to have a normal conversation."


	21. Chapter 21

It was the middle of the next week when Sharon was at home, just getting ready to decorate the condo for Christmas when her phone rang. She tried to catch her breath; she and Rusty had just carried up her Christmas tree from storage, and it was now in a box by the door.

"Give me a minute, Rusty," she said, putting her hand up at him.

"Take all the time you want, Sharon," he smirked and walked back to his room. Sharon found her purse, still in the hallway where she'd put it after unlocking the door and dug out her phone.

"Andy, hi," she said. "If you are checking to see if I'm still available to work on your search later, the answer is yes."

"Sharon, hi, sorry to bother you, but we have a case," he sighed.

"A case?" she questioned. "Wait, Andy, we're on leave this week, no cases."

"Yeah, supposed to be that way, but I sort of stumbled into a murder, Provenza and I did," he admitted.

Sharon groaned and moved back into the condo, dropping her purse on the Christmas tree box before she walked to her desk and plopped down in her desk chair. "Remember our chat on the way to the ballet the other night-here, this is a perfect example."

"Hey, the restaurant wasn't a murder scene, and you liked the food; you told me it was great and would go back," he explained. "What was I supposed to do here? I couldn't ignore a burglary in progress."

"A burglary in progress is not exactly a murder. Was someone killed in the commission of this robbery?" Sharon asked.

"Maybe, but maybe not," he stated. "Just my opinion, but the guy looked long gone, like already dead. It's quite a story, but bottom line is we are back to work, thanks to me, and I'm sorry."

Sharon groaned and rested her elbow on the desk. She nodded, even though he couldn't see her, "Okay, just send me the details. Do you need me at the scene?"

"No, Provenza and I are handling it. He's on the phone with Mike now. We will probably be another couple hours but yeah, any working on my search later today will have to wait. I am really sorry. I wanted these few days off as much as anyone. I was hoping to really do some digging. I know it's a burden to the whole team," he admitted.

"What's done is done, and bottom line, someone is dead; someone will have the worst day of their life when notified about this death. Here, you are saving Rusty. He was not looking forward to putting up the Christmas tree. I'll tell him to thank you later," she chuckled, trying to put herself in a better mood.

"Oh, geez," he sighed. "Sharon, I hate to pull you from a normal holiday activity. Here, you were just talking about the kids not coming home and all. Maybe we can wrap this case up quickly."

"Hmm, we'll see," she nodded again. "Keep me updated, and I will meet the team at the office. If I need to go to the morgue first, just let me know."

"Will do, and again, I'm sorry, Sharon," he sighed.

"Andy, stop apologizing for doing your job. It's one of the things I like about you, your willingness to always do the right thing. By the sounds of it, you discovered this murder?"

"Yeah, I did," he admitted. "Christmas shopping with Provenza on Venice Beach."

"What were you-" she stopped and shook her head. "I don't even want to know what you were doing. I'll see you at work."

Hours later, as they were reaching a stopping point for the night, Sharon smiled at Andy through her blinds. He nodded back at her and stood to move to her doorframe. Her door was open.

"Hey," he said with a shake of his head, "listen, can I make it up to you and the kid with cheeseburgers?"

Sharon chuckled and shook her head, "It's not necessary to make up anything up to us."

"He's been sitting over there playing chess. I might have spotted him making two trips to the vending machine, and I know the kid has a stash of food over there too. So, by calculation, he's out of food and hungry. I know we all missed lunch, so what about a cheeseburger?"

"From a vegetarian?" Sharon teased.

"You know I'm desperate for something normal," he offered, a small smile on his face.

"Oh, so I'm your desperate plea, am I? Sure, dinner sounds good. I'm paying, though. I know how much Rusty easts, and it won't just be a cheeseburger. It will be fries, a milkshake, maybe more. He's eating me out of house and home."

"All the more reason I'm buying," he flashed a smile. "Come on, you feed him every single day. Accept this Christmas kindness, Captain," he said with a nod. "Nicole said I could stop by on Christmas Day for dessert; the boys want to see me, but otherwise, I'm flying solo. This could be my only Christmas meal."

"Oh, seriously tugging at the heartstrings," she said, shaking her head. "By now, you should know you are more than welcome to join Rusty and me. We'll be having turkey; he doesn't like ham, as you know. Simple meal, and maybe, if we finish this case, we could spend some time on your search."

"Really?" Andy asked, eyebrows raised. "I don't want to trouble you."

"It's no trouble," she shook her head.

"I don't want to interrupt plans," he tried again.

Sharon pursed her lips, "We are going to Christmas Mass, and for Christmas, I have no plans. I have plans later in the week, but Christmas is open."

"Thanks, that would be nice; I'd enjoy that. I'll find out what time Nicole wants me and let you know," he said.

"Our mealtime is flexible," Sharon admitted. "Honestly, I had wanted to get the Christmas tree up before now, and it still hasn't happened. If things continue, I just might be putting it up on Christmas Day while the turkey is cooking."

"I hate that I've ruined everyone's plans," Andy sighed. "I felt the stares from all around the room today."

"Let's just wrap the case so everyone can go back to their holiday plans, hmm? My tree will get decorated. I'm not worried."

"Okay, well, let's worry about dinner. Burgers?" Andy eyed her again.

She rolled her eyes, "Just what are you going to eat?"

"Maybe a salad," he shrugged. "It's all about the company."

Sharon pursed her lips and then said, "Tell Rusty we can go for burgers in 10 minutes or so."

An hour later, the three were almost done with their meals. Rusty excused himself to use the restroom, and Andy turned sideways to face Sharon, as they were sitting next to each other, and he gestured to the meal, "Thanks for this. I needed something normal tonight. I'm going crazy, trying to solve my own problems."

"Sure," she reached over and squeezed his arm. "Like I said, we can work on the case when you come over to eat for Christmas."

"What are you planning to tell Rusty? I mean, he's going to see us working," Andy explained.

"What I tell Rusty will be up to you. I'm not about to spill your family issues, but eventually, he will probably need to be told something. As we both know, he doesn't like people keeping things from him. When we find Michelle, you and I can discuss what you want to tell Rusty," she said with a nod.

"When?" he eyed her.

"You know we will find her," Sharon cleared her throat. Rusty came out of the restroom area, and Sharon gave a slight nod to him. Andy nodded, acknowledging he'd seen him, and the two turned their attention back to their meal.

"Still trying to figure out your case?" Rusty asked, looking at the two of them.

"Hopefully, we will solve it tomorrow, and then, we can get back to Christmas decorations," Sharon smirked at Rusty.

Andy chuckled, and Rusty looked at him, "Dude, you have no idea how many Christmas angels she has. It's almost disturbing."

"You're complaining about an angel?" Andy said with raised eyebrow, nodding toward Sharon. "Seems to me you have your very own angel here."

Rusty gave Andy an irritated look and looked over at Sharon, shrugging then, "Her angels are creepy."

"There was a day I might have described Sharon as creepy too," Andy said, in a loud whisper as he leaned toward Rusty. "I've also changed my opinion, as you might want to consider with the angels. I think she's keeping them. I wouldn't argue with her."

"You can never have too many angels," Sharon said with an almost flirty smile at the two. "Andy, since Rusty is still working on that milkshake, I think we should split a piece of pie."

Andy eyed her, and then, he shrugged, "As I said," he glanced at Rusty and then at Sharon, "I'm not going to argue with her."

The next two weeks ended up being more of a mess for the team. They solved their case, but their time off didn't last long. The team caught another case right before Christmas, and that ended any normal plans of a leisurely holiday. By the time New Year's Eve was rolling around, everyone was anxious for a couple of days off work; they all had been working a lot of overtime. Sharon was on edge because Rusty's undercover operation was about to take place. He'd been working hard to get ready, but that still didn't ease her mind. She found herself on the phone with Andy one evening after Christmas.

"Hi, I just wanted to check on you and see how your meeting went tonight. You seemed distracted at work," she explained.

"I was; I am," he acknowledged, sighing. "Sorry, I don't want you to worry about me. You have enough on your plate. I know this whole undercover thing with Rusty is weighing on you."

"It is," she added, nodding to herself. It was late, and she was in bed, unable to sleep. She was sitting against her headboard. Sharon wasn't sure if she should call to check on Andy, but she had been worried about him. They were friends, too, and that convinced her it was reason enough. "I can't have anything happen to Rusty."

"Sharon," he sighed again, "the kid will be okay. I get that you are worried, but we are going to keep him safe, all of us. All these things, what you've been trying to get him to do, you know, therapy, talking to us all, it seems to be helping. Kid is talking, asking questions."

"He didn't ask you about this search, did he?" Sharon said, sitting up, now worried. "I was worried he overheard us the other evening talking about the case." Andy had stopped by after seeing Nicole's family for Christmas. It had been after a case, and Nicole lived nearby. The two didn't end up with time to work the case, but he'd sat down with her for a few minutes to discuss what he'd learned on his own. He admitted to Sharon he was working it late into the night most nights.

"No, nothing like that. I don't think the kid heard us talking at all. He was asking me, asking Provenza, about becoming a cop. It just got me thinking about all of that," he explained.

"Ahh," she nodded. "He had the same question for me. I believe it's something Dr. Joe suggested he discuss. He spends all his time around the team, yet, he doesn't know much about any of you."

"Great, just what I'm worried about, what he'll think of me when he realizes what a screw up I've been," Andy groaned.

"What did you tell him?" Sharon asked, changing the conversation.

"About being a cop? I told him the story about my older brother and me. I think you've heard it," he told her.

"I'm not sure I have," Sharon said, trying to remember.

"Really? I thought for sure I'd told you," he said. "I was getting in with the wrong crowd. I'll have to tell it to you some other time. What I'd like to hear is what you told him."

"Oh, me? I have no exciting story there. Actually, the story sounds rather depressing. I'm the typical young wife who promised to work so her husband could go to law school with the promise he'd do the same for me. I got pregnant, and then, I got pregnant again. Jack left, and that's the end of the story. The LAPD provided me with a stable job, decent income, and I could do it raising two kids alone."

"Single mother," he said quietly. "Another one. Sorry, I know you had it rough, Sharon. I keep thinking that I did that to some woman, to Michelle, and I hate myself more and more."

"Andy," she said quietly, and the two dropped off in silence for a few moments. "Tell me what you've discovered on your search."

"I don't want to take your evening, Sharon," he explained.

"Fine, come over then tomorrow evening and tell me about it," she said.

"It's New Year's Eve," Andy said.

"I have no plans, other than to worry about how things are going with Rusty's detail," she told him. "I could use the distraction, that is unless you have plans."

"All I do anymore is work, go to meetings, and sit at home going over this paper trail, trying to find Michelle. I haven't been out with anyone since-" he stopped talking. Sharon could infer what he was saying; Andy knew it. Finally, he said, "Cooper starting that tomorrow still? You know he will keep him safe."

"I'm still unsure of how Rusty will handle things. I drove with him, and I'm not convinced he will stick to the story. I just have this bad feeling," she sighed. "Yes, they are still planning to start tomorrow. Rusty is out of school now, and it seems like the best time to do so-new year and all."

"I'll come over tomorrow then," he said. "I mean, if you do have plans, seeing anyone-" he drifted off.

"Right now, my focus is Rusty. I can't think about some outside life of mine, of anything new, anything I want," Sharon said. "I'm sorry."

"I'll be there, and if you are having trouble sleeping, I'm happy to keep talking," Andy said.

"Thank you-for being a friend, for being there when I need someone. It means a lot," Sharon told him.

Andy sighed, "You have and will continue to do the same for me. We'll figure this out, all of it. We'll get Rusty's stalker, and we'll find my kid. I'll see you tomorrow, and tomorrow night, we can talk about whatever you want."


	22. Chapter 22

She opened the door, her face full of emotion, and she shook her head at him, "You didn't need to bring dinner."

Andy stepped inside the condo and handed the Chinese food to her, "Did you have other dinner plans? Did you make something?"

"No on both accounts, but I'm not hungry," she said crossing her arms.

"Where's Rusty?" Andy said, looking down the hallway.

"In his room, getting dressed," she gestured with her hand. "Today was rough on him, on both of us. Things at the park didn't go well for his first day of surveillance. I suspect Amy told Julio because later this afternoon, Julio and Buzz asked if they could see a movie with Rusty-on New Year's Eve, of all days. I think everyone is trying to help."

"You should let them help, let me help," he eyed her as he took off his coat. Sharon stood there with the bag in her hand. "I brought your favorite Chinese. I got Rusty food too."

"I'm sure he'll eat it later," she said with a small smile. She nodded to the leather looking soft-sided briefcase he had with him. "Is that all of your work so far?"

"Yeah, you said we could talk about it. I figured it was the best way to spend New Year's Eve-Chinese food and going over what I've found. Plus, I'm always an ear to listen to your problems. I know this with Rusty is hard on you."

"I looked at the footage from the park today. He was easily spooked. It's exactly what I feared, and Amy told me things didn't go well when he got in the car," she said. The two stopped talking when Rusty opened his door. Sharon nodded toward the kitchen. Andy followed her, and she started to unpack the food on the counter.

"Rusty, would you like some Chinese food before you head to the movies?" Sharon called to him. Rusty came around the corner, stopping quickly in his tracks at the sight of Andy.

"Lieutenant, I didn't know you were here," he said looking to the food. "I guess you brought the food?"

"I did, and I got everything you like too," Andy said with a small smile at him. "I heard things were rough today."

"Yeah, and I don't want to talk about it, please," he said with a glance between Sharon and Andy.

The silence descended for a few seconds, and then, Sharon cleared her throat, "What time is Julio picking you up?"

Rusty glanced at his watch, "Anytime, now, really. I told him 7:00 was good. Movie is at 7:40, and we are getting Buzz on the way." As he said that, there was a knock at the door. Sharon gave Andy a look, and he nodded, staying where he was. Rusty looked to them, "I'm going to grab my coat."

"I'll get the door for Julio," Sharon said with a simple nod. She walked to the door, and Andy sat down on a stool there in the kitchen, not wanting to make Sharon explain his presence. He was surprised when she brought Julio into the kitchen area.

"Oh, Sir, I didn't know you were here," Julio said looking with a glance at Andy.

"Andy was concerned too, just as I know you are," Sharon said with a small smile. She crossed her hands in front of her, "He brought food. Apparently, my team thinks I don't eat when I'm stressed."

"You don't," Andy said, a huff in his voice.

"I said the same, Sir," Julio smiled slightly. "My mother sent a casserole. It's what she likes to do."

"Yes, I put it by the door," Sharon said, her hand in the air as she walked back to the door to get it. She reappeared with it in her hands. "Thank you, Julio. Please, thank your mother too."

"No problem, Captain. She loves to cook," he nodded.

"I wasn't feeling much like cooking, but I was feeling like Chinese. I got plenty, Julio, if you are interested. Rusty said you were going to the movies," Andy stated.

"We are, and thanks for the invite, but we need to get going. Buzz is waiting, and he hates being late to the movies," Julio grinned.

"Thank you for taking Rusty out, for taking his mind off things today," Sharon said, squeezing Julio's arm. "I appreciate it."

"Are you okay here, Ma'am?" Julio asked. "You're welcome to join us."

"I'll keep her company," Andy nodded. "I have no plans, and I know she is going to sit here and worry. We can eat some of this food and maybe find some lame movie to watch. Sound okay?" Andy looked to her.

"Fine," she said, pursing her lips. "I thought I was in charge of the team."

"This doesn't look like work," Andy gestured around to the condo and then eyed Sharon. "Looks like friends looking out for each other."

"Sometimes, Ma'am, we need to look out for you, for your family," Julio said with a small smile and nod. "This is one of those times." Rusty appeared, and Julio nodded to them, "I'll keep an eye on Rusty. Have a nice evening."

Sharon and Andy both stood there and listened as the door closed. Sharon wanted so badly to give Rusty the run-down on being safe while out, but she'd held her tongue. She was trying to trust him, and while she did, she didn't trust that he could protect himself from his stalker. With Julio and the undercover unit, though, she was trying. She turned back to Andy, a forced smile on her face.

"Shall we eat?" she asked.

Andy sighed and dropped his head, "Sharon, you don't need to put on an act, a show for me. I know you."

"I am fine," she waved him off and walked to the counter. She braced her arms on it and dropped her head, the tears forming quickly. Andy watched, and he walked to her, putting his hand on her back. He rubbed her back while she started to cry.

"You're not fine. You have a lot on your plate. You want to push your problems to the side to focus on my drama, which isn't the immediate problem Rusty's situation is. I'm here," he said and stood there, still running his hand over her back. She nodded, and he stood there, consoling her. Finally, she stood and shook her head as she turned to him.

"I'm sorry about that. You didn't come here to watch me fall apart," she stated.

"That's exactly why I'm here, I mean, not to see you fall apart, but to be here with you. I can take your mind off Rusty with my problem, and you're welcome to unload your problems on me and take my mind off my search," he nodded to her. He reached over to the counter and squeezed her hand. She nodded back at him. "We've become good friends, at least I'd like to think so."

"I'm okay, really. It's just been a long couple months, coupled with the holidays and not seeing my kids," she rolled her eyes.

Andy nodded to the food, "Care to eat before it's cold? Let's sit, and we can talk about anything you want."

15 minutes later, both were feeling better after eating something. They'd broken Sharon's rule of no food on the couch in exchange to sit and get comfortable. Now, they had their plates on the coffee table and were turned sideways toward each other to talk. It was still early, but people were already shooting off fireworks for the evening celebrations. Reflections could be seen from the windows. The two were quiet, and finally, Sharon gestured with her hands.

"Let's see what you've found so far," Sharon nodded to his bag. Andy eyed her.

"It can wait. I mean, it's waited 20 years already," he said. "If you want to talk-"

"I want to keep busy, please," she said with a firm nod at him. "Tell me about your progress."

"Okay," he said as he stood to collect his paperwork, "I've not found much, anything really here in Los Angeles." He sat back down and handed her a file. "That's not exactly true. I found three Michelle Smiths in and out of hospitals during that time, which actually, I thought was a small number. None fit the age or description of what I'm trying to find. I can't find her in a DMV database here, and nothing is coming up across the state, no property records, nothing. I found no birth certificates with a Michelle Smith listed as a mother during this time that fit. I don't think she's in California."

"Okay," Sharon said, scanning the paperwork. "Any idea where she went?"

"None so far. I don't have a line on family or anything. My next search is going to be to expand to neighboring states, things here out West. I figure maybe she got scared and ran. I just don't know where. I didn't know anything about her, not much of anything at least." Andy sighed and sat back on the couch, resting his one arm on the back of the couch. He put his other hand up to his face and ran it over his face while Sharon read through the paperwork. He sat there, letting her take her time. She was good at this; he knew it, and it was best to let her work in silence.

Finally, another 10 minutes later, she looked over at him. She gestured to the paperwork, "I agree with your findings so far. I don't think she's in California either."

"It's just going to take some time," he said, gesturing with the hand that had been on his face. "I should be patient, especially after I put this off for 20 years, but I'm not. I just want to find her now. It sounds crazy; I know, but I just want to find her, find out what happened to her and the kid."

Sharon nodded and gave him a sympathetic glance, "It's not easy worrying or telling yourself not to worry. I get that. We both know you don't have to raise a child to worry about that child."

"Yeah, but Rusty wasn't yours to raise. You care now because you are a good person, Sharon. I should have cared about a kid I fathered! I should have cared. Instead, I let some woman I barely knew take off, and who knows what has happened since. I just," he stopped and shook his head. "I fathered three kids, and I haven't done a good job with any of them. I don't even know one of them. That's not a good person."

She reached for his hand on the back of the couch and squeezed it. She did that until he looked at her, "Tell me what's going on in your mind. What are you thinking about now? I can see your mind is wandering. Let me help."

"You don't want to know," he said, shaking his head.

"I asked," she stated.

"Fine," he looked to her, his eyes meeting hers. "All this, tonight, it being New Year's Eve, it got me to thinking, back to 21 years ago now. I spent that night in the bar drowning my sorrows there with Michelle. Back then, I didn't even care about her name. I should have, but I didn't. I cared about getting drunk and sleeping with anyone who would have me. She would. She did. You asked me what I'm thinking about right now? I'm thinking about 21 years ago. It wasn't late when I was there, but the bar was open late. She had a break, sometime around 11 maybe. I hadn't even had much to drink, but I'd gotten to where I just wanted to sit there at the bar. I had nowhere else to go. I remember during her break we went out to my car. She had like a 15-minute break, and I can't get that out of my head. I want to because it wasn't anything I want to remember. I should have been a better guy. I'm still just a mess."

"You are not a mess; you are none of that," Sharon said, squeezing his arm again. She shifted closer to him, her eyes meeting his. "You've gotten your act together, and you are sober. You are a different man. We are all different people. Holding you to the standard of 20 years ago isn't the answer. Let me tell you about a memory I have from New Year's, maybe even older than your memory. It is older," she nodded as she thought about it, "closer to 25 years ago,". Andy nodded to her, encouraging her to continue, "Jack's office was going to have a party. I didn't want to go. I'd worked a 12-hour shift, and we had the kids. Ricky was just a few months old, and Emily was three. I was exhausted, still recovering from even having Ricky. Jack wanted to go, and I told him he was welcome to go to the party. Honestly, I had hoped he would want to spend the evening with his family, but we were already growing apart. Jack stumbled in the door, well after midnight. I'd put the kids to bed, had made myself some dinner, had watched the fireworks on television-all waiting on Jack. I was still hopeful we were just finding our footing with two kids and our big jobs, but that night," she paused, almost going over the memory. She locked her eyes on Andy, "Jack stumbled in late that night. He smelled of beer and whiskey. He fell onto the couch where he stayed the rest of the night. I picked up his suit coat, which he'd dropped by the door, and as I started to hang it up, a pair of women's underwear fell out of the pocket. At first, I thought it was some expensive pocket square or something, but I was just kidding myself. Expensive underwear. It was right there, and that's how I spent one of my New Year's Eves."

Andy frowned, "I'm sorry, Sharon. That's a horrible memory, but even more the reason I can't imagine you want to be around me. I'm that guy, like Jack. I was sleeping with some girl I barely knew!"

"You weren't married," she shook her head, frowning too. "There's a big difference, Andy," she pointed out to him. "Big difference."

"I ruined my family, though, just in a different way, and I started sleeping with Michelle because I was drinking, and my wife threw me out. She divorced me and kept the kids away. That's how I ended up sleeping with a random woman. I'm ashamed of the man I was then, and even now, it's something I still wish I had never done. I messed up so much, but all I want is-" he broke off and dropped his head. Sharon squeezed his hand, and when he looked up at her, she met his gaze. Their eyes locked, and the silence of the room was almost haunting. The two met for a kiss, neither sure of who initiated it, but they embraced, lips locking, hands on each other, and both quickly got lost in it.

"I'm sorry," the both said at the same time as they pulled apart. It was a dramatic moment, almost pushing away from each other. Andy started to move backward, and Sharon started to stand. In sync, Sharon said, "You should go," while Andy said, "I should go."

Sharon stood and stepped away from Andy. He stood and gathered his paperwork, glancing toward her, "Look, I'm sorry I kissed you. I know we had an agreement when we were sleeping together. I shouldn't have done that; I overstepped, and I know if you are sleeping with someone, you aren't going to go around kissing other men. I broke that trust we had with each other. It's my fault."

"Arrangements I have are my business," she told him, looking away as she shook her head. "I shouldn't have kissed you; it's my fault. I think we both got lost in our sorrow. I am the one who overstepped. We ended things, and I'm sorry."

Andy paused in front of her, searching for her eyes, "Hey, it's what it is; we both regret it. It won't happen again. I appreciate your help."

"I didn't even help," she said, a sad frown on her face. "I still want us to work on this search with you."

"We will," he nodded, squeezing her arm. "Just not tonight. We are both raw tonight. I'm going to go home and go to bed. I guess we just chalk that up to a New Year's Eve kiss. I'm sorry, though. It was-" he stopped when she put her hand up to his lips.

"It's what it is. I'm going to just move forward," she told him. "Thank you for dinner and for listening."

"We can go over this file maybe after Rusty's stalker is caught," he said waving the file. "I'll keep working it on my own."

"Keep me updated, please," she said, reaching for his arm as he walked by her. He turned to her, and their eyes met again. "I am going to help you with this. I will be there for you however you need as you find her."

"Thanks," he nodded, giving her a soft smile. "Get some rest. I think we both need it; our judgement is clouded. If you need to," he waved his hand, "have an evening off-even from me too-I'll be glad to do something with Rusty. That would give you time for, for whatever," he waved his hand.

"I appreciate it," she said with a single nod. "I've not thought about myself for quite some time. Goodnight."

"Night, Sharon," he said, and with that, he opened the door, walked out, and closed it, leaving Sharon standing there in front of her couch, her arms crossed. She'd needed that kiss, but that had been her problem for months. She'd been seeking out men, men to be what she needed. Problem was she needed that kiss, and the agreement she had did not include kissing Andy.


	23. Chapter 23

She'd almost lost him. It has been a blur, but at the same time, her mind continued to go over the events in slow motion, as if doing so could change anything that had happened. She'd almost lost him; she hadn't, but they'd lost the suspect. She bit her lip and looked to the ceiling, trying to will her tears away. It wasn't working. She was alone; Rusty was gone, and yet, while horrible, the night could have ended even worse.

She looked to the door when she heard the knock. Taylor had doubled the security detail; Rusty had a full detail with him at Provenza's house tonight, along with at least Provenza and Julio. She wanted to get all the details, but things happened so quickly. Rusty was rushed out of the condo, things were examined, and suddenly, she was alone, right here, right now. She stood when she heard the knock again and wiped her tears. It was the last thing she wanted her security detail to see because yes, Taylor had ordered one for her too at least for now. The trial was going to happen, soon now, and until it did, even she, the police captain, was under watchful eye. She wiped her eyes again and took a deep breath before she checked the peephole. Quickly, she opened the door.

His facial expression changed when she opened the door. He opened his arms to her, "I'm so glad you are okay, both of you." Sharon nodded and walked into his embrace.

"Rusty is gone, though," she said. "Your call, it, it's what saved him."

"No, you saved him. I know all about it. I'm sorry I wasn't here before now. We've all been busy, chasing down that suspect, getting Rusty situated, and setting up things for you and Rusty," he admitted. "You saved him. You ran down those stairs-in your bare feet as I was told," he said, pulling back to confirm that. She glanced away, that confirmation he was right. "You protected Rusty."

"You had the tip," she pointed out.

"The team," he corrected, "protected Rusty. Let's leave it at that, and we're going to continue to do so until the trial." Sharon just nodded, her head still resting on his chest while he held her in a light embrace. "Can I come in?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," she shook her head and moved out of the way, glancing down the hall. Andy followed her glance.

"No worries-security detail knows I'm here. Your team is all on their list. They know our team protects our own," he said, as he stepped inside. Sharon's eyes were drawn to the floor where he put a gym back down by her hall table. He gestured to it, "What? You think your team is going to only look after Rusty? I'm here, and I'm not going to just leave you alone to sit up all night. Rusty said I could stay in his room. The team has this. It's either me or Mike, and I don't think you want to sit up all night and talk science with Mike."

Sharon frowned slightly, "I'm okay, really. Besides, our, our," she waved her arms and continued, "history?"

"What, we slept together for a couple months, and now, I can't even be here to just be a friend? I thought we'd gone beyond that," he said, giving her a look. "Look, I know we both jumped on that kiss a couple weeks ago, back on New Year's Eve. We never talked more about that, but I can handle myself. Sharon, we have been working together on my search, have become very good friends, and I would hope we can be in the same room together. If you are that uncomfortable, I will call Mike for you. One of us is going to stay. The rest of the team is taking shifts with Rusty and Provenza."

"I just, I just," she bit her lip and shook her head, trying not to cry. "I'm such a mess."

"Come on," he pulled back and tugged at her hand toward the couch. "Let's sit, okay?" He guided her there, and both sat. Andy quickly gestured to her to lean back and relax while he reached down and pulled at her feet.

"What are you doing?" Sharon asked.

"Crazy boss of mine, in pursuit of a suspect, ran down several flights of stairs in her bare feet. I'm going to rub them right now. I think she could use it," he said like it was a usual task.

She shook her head, "No one would do that for their boss."

"Consider yourself lucky," he flashed a smile and sat back, pulling her feet with him. "You'll probably enjoy this more if you try and relax."

Sharon started to argue, but he gave her a look. Finally, she relented and shifted to get comfortable. Andy started to work on her feet, and neither spoke. There was only the light on from the kitchen and one on down the hall, by Rusty's room. It was dark, but there was still a decent amount of light coming in from the skyline views. Andy just let his mind wander and started to stare off into the darkness while he worked. He finally could feel Sharon relax, and he looked over at her. She had finally fallen asleep. His watch had said 11:45 AM when he'd arrived, so now, he knew it had to be after midnight. He was almost surprised she'd fallen asleep, but he also knew she hadn't slept well in weeks. This, tonight, was not the start of her worries about Rusty; it was the turning point in her worries. Soon, hopefully, the trial would be over, and everyone could get back to living their lives in peace, at least he hoped.

Andy worked on her feet just another minute until he was sure she was really sleeping. She almost looked peaceful, and while he didn't know how long she would sleep, he was grateful she was resting at all. He decided to leave here there, but knowing she would get cold, he looked for her favorite blanket. He knew that much, that she liked to curl up with it. In a swift motion, he moved out from under her feet and looked back at her. She hadn't moved. Now standing, he looked for the blanket and saw it in a basket by the television. Andy got the blanket and started to cover Sharon. It surprised him when she opened her eyes and met his as he was leaning over her.

"I fell asleep," she said but almost in question. He nodded.

"Just get some rest. You're comfortable here, and we can talk later," he nodded to her.

She reached up with one hand and put it lightly on his shoulder, tugging him toward her. As she did that, she sat up slightly to kiss him. Quickly, her hand was gripping his shirt tightly, and as soon as Andy realized where things were heading, he pulled back and braced his hand on the couch over her head.

"I didn't come here to take advantage of you, to mess up anything," he said, searching her eyes. That was hard to do because of the dim lighting.

"Thank you for being here tonight," she said quietly, her hand still resting on his chest while he was still almost perched over her.

He nodded, "I'll be down the hall in Rusty's room if you need anything or want to talk. Try and sleep. I'm just down the hall." He leaned in and kissed her cheek before he stood, hoping to convey that while the kiss hadn't bothered him, that's not why he'd come over to her condo. Andy glanced back as he started to walk down the hall, and he saw she had her hands up to her face, wiping more tears. Sharon needed him, and he was glad to be here for her tonight.

He wasn't sleeping well, but with the current state of things, that was no surprise. There was just too much going on in all aspects of his life. From his search for Michelle and their kid, to Rusty's issues, to his personal life struggles with his family and even Sharon, Andy had reason not to sleep. He found himself restless and got up to use the bathroom. He sighed when he saw that Rusty's clock said it was 1:45. It felt like an entire night had passed, but really, he hadn't been in bed very long. When Andy walked out of Rusty's room, he glanced down the hall. He wondered if Sharon was still out there sleeping. He'd kept Rusty's door open in case anything happened with the security or whatever, but he hadn't heard any movement from her. He quietly walked down the hall and was surprised to find that she wasn't there. He must have fallen asleep at some point because her door was closed, and the couch was empty. He nodded to himself and turned to go back to use the bathroom. A couple minutes later, he climbed back into Rusty's bed, groaning at the extremely firm mattress. He hated a firm mattress, but he wasn't about to complain tonight. It would be a miracle if he slept more, and he knew that tonight, the mattress wouldn't be the cause of his sleepless night.

He sat up slightly when he heard movement, Sharon in the bathroom too. He waited, making sure she was okay, before he saw the light switch off under the door. He could see a lot from Rusty's bed and was glad he'd left the door open. He dropped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, sighing to himself, as he hoped sleep would overcome him.

"You said if I wanted to talk-" he heard and sat up again, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked to the door. She'd turned off the hall light probably before when she'd gone to bed. He just hadn't noticed it, but he could just make out her form there, standing at the door.

"Sure, anything for you, Sharon," he said.

"I heard you in here. Actually, I heard you go into the bathroom, so I knew you were awake," she explained as she walked toward him.

"Can't sleep," he admitted. "Sounds like you can't either. I'm happy to talk to you," he offered.

She reached the side of the bed and sat down on the side, her hand reaching for his. She clasped her hand in it and looked to him. It was dark and hard to see anything. "It just that," she shook her head, "what if I don't want to talk tonight?"

Andy was about to say something, but he felt Sharon tug on his hand and pull it up to her thigh, where he could tell she had on something soft and silky. She continued to tug his hand, pushing at her nightgown or whatever she was wearing, and she leaned toward him. Now, with her face close to his, they could see each other. "We've done this before," she said quietly. "Tonight," she paused and let out her breath, "you're here; I'm here. It's something familiar, and we both need this."

"Sharon, I, l am flattered and totally interested, but you?" he asked, trying to gesture at her. She was leaning so close to him, it was hard to move at all, and as he tried to remember where his hands were, one was still now high on her thigh.

"Let me deal with my arrangements. I know what I'm doing. Is this something you want? I'll go back to my room if this is too much," she said in an almost whisper. Andy looked at her, his eyes meeting hers, and quickly, his free hand reached for her, pulling her toward him in a passionate kiss. As he did, he felt Sharon roll over him, now onto the bed, and in what had become Rusty's room, in the now dark and quiet condo, the two quickly discarded any clothing and found a way to cope with their sleepless night.

The next time he looked at the clock, he saw it was 4:55. He moved his hand, expecting Sharon to be there, but she wasn't. He sighed loudly and ran his hand over his face. He didn't regret their late-night roll in the sheets, but he was afraid she would, afraid it would come back to bite him in the way they'd been getting along recently. He rolled over, and as he did, he could still smell the lavender from her hair. He glanced toward the hallway and swore there was more light now than had been before. He climbed out of bed, looking back to it, thinking back over the last few hours. It had been hot, passionate, exactly like he'd remembered with her. He'd missed it and couldn't believe he'd been so stupid as to think things would work with Sandra. Of course, he'd been stupid enough to walk away from this with Sharon. They just had good chemistry, both in and out of the bedroom. Their sleeping arrangements had worked before, and now, he'd probably ruined it. She had been reaching out last night, probably not for him, as she'd made it clear that she was sleeping with someone else. That guy, Paul, he remembered wasn't the guy here last night; Andy was, and now, he was worried he'd made things complicated all around.

Andy almost stumbled down the hall, partly because he was still trying to put on some clothing and partly because he'd barely slept. He heard movement in the kitchen and sighed as he walked around the corner, now in just boxer shorts, and found Sharon there making coffee.

"Hey," he said quietly, hoping not to startle her. She did jump slightly and turned toward him. He eyed her, as now, she was fully dressed, not just in the lingerie or whatever she'd had on before, but in a suit for work. "It's not even 5:00."

"I'm going to work. I already spoke to the security detail. They know I'm going in early, and I told them my lieutenant was still sleeping," she said in a flat tone as she looked back to the coffee. "No need for you to be up this early."

"See," he leaned on the counter and clasped his hands in front of him there, "I don't understand the need to go to work this early. I know we haven't been called in for a case. Rusty is still sleeping, and court doesn't open this early. You won't accomplish anything this early. You could, did," he amended, "accomplish plenty overnight. Way I see it, I had a sexy, naked woman in my bed, and that was a great way to drift off to sleep. I can't sleep now because she left."

Sharon looked up to the ceiling and let out her breath, still looking at the coffee pot, "I'm sorry if I took advantage of you, the situation."

"I didn't say that at all," he told her. "I'm worried that I'm going to cause you this grief now. I know what our arrangement was like, and part of that was not sleeping with other guys. So-"

"So," she turned to him, her eyes meeting his, "let me worry about what I do."

"Okay," he said, drawing out the word as he stared at her. "If things are that casual with Paul or whoever," he gestured, "fine. I'll leave it. I'm always here for, for whatever," he gestured.

"Thank you," she nodded. "That's why I came to you last night."

"I want you to know I never slept with Sandra," he blurted out as she was pouring her coffee into her travel container. She paused; he saw it, and he also saw her hand shake slightly before she finished pouring the coffee. When she finished, she turned to him as she put the lid on the coffee.

"That is none of my business, and what do you mean? She was your wife, and you were working on this for awhile," Sharon gestured.

"We were," he nodded in agreement and clarified, "ex-wife. It should have happened, many times," he gave a slight roll of his eyes and sigh. "Look, that was part of the problem, that we could never get to that point. We'd plan for it, like for me to stay over, and every single time, every time," he repeated, "we always got into an argument before we got to the bedroom. It never clicked. I always left there mad. On two occasions, I did stay, slept on the couch, hoping we could figure it out, hoping we could work out our disagreement like in the morning, but it never happened. I was an idiot for thinking we would ever get back together. Delusional, completely delusional. I mean, we were married before, and for some reason, we couldn't even sleep together, couldn't find that passion to come together. That intimacy is such a big part of a relationship, and we couldn't' even force that to happen."

Sharon met his gaze, gesturing, "So, me, last night, that was out of desperation, out of need? I realize I initiated it, but is that what it was? I mean, it's been too long, and I was familiar? Or," she paused, taking a breath, "you're back to seeing as many women as you can?"

"Neither of those scenarios," he said, shaking his head. "Look, I know you are going through a lot. I'm not expecting anything, but for some reason, I wanted you to know that about Sandra. I honored what you and I discussed. I never told her I was sleeping with you before we tried to get back together. It was over with Sandra before it started, over 20 years ago really, even longer. I guess I was just clearing the air, telling you that last night is whatever you need it to be or want. I'm not going to bring it up after this now if you don't want to discuss it. If it was just having me there because I'm familiar, fine. If I was the replacement for your new guy last night because I was here and he wasn't, fine. If-" he paused and looked at her. She was standing against the counter, the coffee cup clutched in her hand. "Just, it's fine, Sharon. It's not why I came here last night, but I'm not sorry it happened."

"It helped," she said as she looked to the floor, her head nodding. "I'm not sure I can explain more, but I will just say that we were casual before, and I had a good grasp on my personal situation, so please trust I still do. I know what I'm doing, and if that," she pointed back toward the bedrooms, "doesn't work you, just let me know."

"So, you want to start sleeping together again? Now, I'm just one guy of what, two, several, many?" Andy tried to catch her gaze, and she sighed, looking at her watch.

"I can't do this right now," she said firmly.

"You're right," he nodded. "I apologize. When all of this is said and done with Rusty and the case, let's just talk about this. In the interim, if you need another night like last night, I can handle it."

"When all is said and done," she said finally meeting his gaze, "we are going to find Michelle first. I promised you that, and nothing," she gestured between them, "personal is going to get in the way of that."

Andy just nodded as he looked at her. She looked so torn there, her eyes searching for anything. She stood up and walked by him, grabbing her purse there on the counter. As she stopped to get it, Andy put his hand on her waist, and he ran his thumb along her waist.

"It should tell you something-it tells me something-that I couldn't easily sleep, actually couldn't sleep at all with my ex-wife when I was trying, yet, I can quickly fall back into bed with one of my closest friends, my best female friend to say the least," he said, his eyes searching hers. "Whatever you decide, with me, that guy Paul," he said with a slight sigh, "whatever, I'm still here for you always as a friend. We're going to keep Rusty safe, so just remember all of that."

She nodded, biting her lip, and when she met his gaze, she let out her breath, "I'll see you at work in a couple hours."

"You okay, at least for now?" he asked, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. "I just want you to be okay, Sharon."

She nodded, still biting her lip, "I'm okay as long as we put this discussion on hold."

"Yeah, okay," he nodded, squeezing her side. "Just get through the day. It's all you can do. Get through the day. Know Rusty is going to be protected. Know I'm going to be thinking of you, of anything you need. I'm going to be thinking of last night, of the two of us finding some comfort together, like old times." He looked at her as he said all of that, and before she left, he leaned in and kissed her tenderly. He didn't linger, but if he was going to be one guy of at least two, maybe many, in Sharon's life, he was going to fight to stay in her mind. His hand squeezed at her side again before he stepped back. She nodded again, and she gestured to him.

"This look isn't helping," she pointed to him standing there in just his boxer shorts. "I'll see you at work in a couple hours, fully dressed."

"Your decision," he said with an almost playful smirk and wink. The moment was over. Sharon had flipped a switch, and they were done with any serious discussion. "I'll change the sheets too," he added as she stepped away toward the door. He followed her, "Rusty would never come home if he knew what had happened in that room."

Sharon paused, her hand on the door, "He's going to come home."

"He is," Andy said, stepping up behind her. He squeezed her shoulders, "He'll be home before you know it," he whispered in her ear. "Life will go on. We'll find Michelle hopefully, and then, maybe you and I can discuss a new arrangement. See you at work, Captain," he said, kissing her neck. He felt her almost shiver, and with that, he stepped away toward the hall. He didn't look back, but he heard her open the door to start a new day.


	24. Chapter 24

"Sharon!" Andy burst into the bathroom and startled her. She was in the shower, and it was late again. Rusty was due in court again the next day; he'd now been in and out of there the last two, and things were hopefully about ready to be over for him. Andy had been staying with Sharon for a week, even though she'd tried to argue he go home. Work had kept them busy two of the nights, but the nights they had been at the condo, they had tried to stay apart, only to always end up sleeping together again. Tonight was no different; they'd tried to keep things professional, almost. To keep themselves distracted from Rusty and really from each other, they'd been working on Andy's search. Last night, they had stayed up until 1:30 in the morning working on Internet searches, only for Sharon to finally stand up, pull Andy with her, and drag him into her room. He hadn't complained. It was like their agreement was back on, even though they hadn't officially discussed it, and she hadn't told him what was going on with Paul. Tonight, though, it was earlier, at least earlier than it had been last night. It was now almost 11:00, and the two had worked through dinner, one they'd had delivered consisting of soup and salad. They had worked and worked, only before Sharon had turned to him, that look in her eye. That was all it had taken; the two made a mess of the living room, and when they had finished, Sharon had gone to shower for the night while Andy had stayed to clean up and continue working. Now, he'd finally found something.

"Andy," she yelled out from the shower, "I have told you it's not happening in the shower."

"No, that's not why I came in here," Andy yelled again, and with that, Sharon turned off the water and reached for her towel. He continued in his excited tone, "I found something! I found a birth certificate-looked up the city, and it's outside of Seattle, Washington.

"Seattle?" Sharon asked, now stepping out of the shower, her towel wrapped around her with her hair still dripping. She reached for another towel for her hair, and she smiled brightly at him, "You really found something?"

Andy nodded and rested one leg as he sat down on the vanity to face her, crossing his arms. He'd thrown a t-shirt on with his boxer shorts while cleaning up the living room. "Yeah, I just had a feeling we were getting closer to something. All that work before," he gave her a look, "before you distracted me," he smirked, "and I found a Michelle Smith had a baby outside Seattle. That's what I've been doing out there all this time while you've been in here. I was finishing up my search for the evening. Timeframe matches; the birthday is October 11," he stated as his eyes locked hers. Sharon's eyes widened in surprise.

"October 11th?" she asked. "That's-"

"That's your birthday, yeah," he sighed, shaking his head. "Another thing that shouldn't be the case. My kid shares your birthday," he continued to shake his head. "That all matches with what we said. I did a quick search with some calculations, and that would have put the conception around Christmas or New Year's."

Sharon pursed her lips, still standing there, looking at him, and she nodded. She let out her breath, "I see, so as you told me about New Year's the other night-"

"Right," he looked at her again. "Let's just say that the timeframe wouldn't surprise me. The holidays were rough that year. I was there every single night for several nights, and we," he gestured in the air with his hand. "Look, I know we are both adults, but I hate having to tell you about this. I know we are friends and sleep together too, but I feel like I'm telling you more than you want to know, and I'm embarrassed that I was so careless."

Sharon stepped toward him and wrapped her hand around his arm, standing there almost pressed against the vanity and Andy as he half sat there at the vanity. She squeezed his arm, "I told you I'm in this search with you. I understand what you did, what happened, and what resulted from that. It was 21 years ago, Andy. I'm comfortable with it, as comfortable as I can be considering all things," she said with a slight roll of her eyes. "It does not change my thoughts on you; we're friends, and it doesn't change that we enjoy sleeping together now. I hate to admit this with Rusty's situation, but I had a great time out there in the living room. There's something nice about all of it being so familiar with you."

"I did too," he said, dropping his voice now, his eyes locked on hers. He put his free hand on the small of her back and pulled her slightly toward him, "I just hate what this has done and will do to my family, to my friends, to you," he nodded to her. "I will have to explain it, and now that we are getting somewhere, it's becoming more and more real."

"I know," she said quietly, her eyes searching his. "I'm still right here, even with all of your baggage. I'm your friend, and standing there," she looked down at her appearance, "I'm about as vulnerable as I can be right now, and I'm here for you, to help you with this search."

"It's a start," he shook his head. "Outside Seattle," he said to himself.

"Andy," she drew his attention back to her where she'd now moved her hand to his shoulder, "you are forgetting one key piece of information."

"What?" he gazed at her.

"Girl or boy? You came racing in here, interrupting my shower, and you finally have a birth certificate, but you didn't give me any of the details, other than I, your good friend, Sharon, have to share a birthday now with this baby."

"Adult now, don't forget. She's an adult," he shook his head. "Sarah," he said with a small smile at her. "Her name is Sarah, Sarah Smith," he rolled his eyes, "which, yes, will make the search harder with a common name like that. Sarah Ann Smith, to be exact. No father is listed, but that almost proves my case even more. She, Michelle, didn't even know my full name either. If she'd wanted to list it, she wouldn't have had it. I have another daughter."

Sharon bit her lip, staring at him, "You have another daughter."

"Appears that way. I can't tell you what a relief it is just to know that much, to have something, anything. I know I've screwed up all of this, but this is huge. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Finally, we are getting somewhere, and this just means I can put a name to my kid, my daughter."

"I'm happy you found that much," she said, squeezing his shoulder. "Good work, detective."

"I'm just energized now!" Andy exclaimed. "I have to keep searching. I'm going to find her."

"Tomorrow," Sharon clarified, her eyes meeting his. "You almost fell asleep at work today, and I did fall asleep yesterday. Energized or not, and I agree, this is something to keep you up at night, we cannot keep working tonight."

Andy gave her a small smile and a nod as he eyed her up and down, "You know," he said, reaching up to pull the towel from her hair, "I will agree to put the computer away for tonight if -," he paused, letting his phrasing hang there and pulled at where she'd wrapped her towel, dropping it to the floor. Sharon smiled at him, her eyes sparkling too, as he continued, "I have had some time to recover from earlier," he winked at her. "That little catnap on the couch after we finished did the trick, but now," he looked her up and down, the towel now on the floor, "Is it wrong to celebrate finding out more about my long-lost kid by taking you to bed?"

"Not in my book," Sharon leaned in and kissed him, a long, drawn out kiss, before she tugged on his arm. Andy wrapped his arms around her, staying right there, and she started to laugh. "We're too old for this. I have a perfectly good bed just a few steps away, no teenager here right now, and we need to continue this celebration in there." She nodded to her room, and he nodded at her as they kissed again.

"I can't tell you how much I've missed this, the familiarity, the comfort of sleeping with my best friend," he whispered to her. "I can tell you've missed it too; you can't keep your hands off me. Tell me," he paused and looked at her, their heads touching as their lips pulled away, "You've been messing with me, haven't you? There is no Paul. The way you have been with me, it's just," he pulled back to eye her, "You wanted me to not worry about you when I went back to Sandra. Then, you wanted me to move on from you. All this time, you won't talk about him, won't try to sneak off to see him with Rusty gone. So, just be honest-was this all for me? Do you want me jealous? I told you I didn't sleep with Sandra. You and I weren't in a relationship; we were clear it was just sex, just for fun, but is that what this has been? The flowers and all-you wanted it to look like a guy was after you, but am I right? Have you just been wanting me as much as I'm wanting you because neither of us were sleeping with anyone else?"

Sharon frowned and looked to the side and back to him again before she cleared her throat, "Andy, I don't want to kill the mood we were just creating here. I thought we had something to celebrate, but fine," she nodded, searching his eyes. "You want the specifics? I suppose I owe you that since you and I are sleeping together again. I do owe you that. Andy, Paul is real, very real, and yes, I have been sleeping with him."


	25. Chapter 25

February 1, finally. January had dragged on like nothing else. It had been full of ups and downs, but the month was finally over. Rusty was back home with Sharon, and everyone was able to breathe a little easier. Because Rusty was back home, Andy was back home too, away from Sharon, and right now, that was also probably for the best.

It wasn't that Andy disliked being around Sharon or sleeping with her. On the contrary, he'd enjoyed that very much, and he had to refocus his thoughts almost every single time he looked at her. Their nights together at the condo kept coming back to him. The first night, that had been hot; he thought of it over and over. One night he wanted to forget now had been the night they'd stayed out on the couch. That had been hot too, uncomfortable, but steamy and really great. They had even fallen asleep there, which had given him energy for another round, one that was underway until Sharon's admission in the bathroom killed the mood. He sat in his car now, his mind wandering back to that moment.

"I have been sleeping with him," he heard her saying over and over in his mind. He shook his head, hopeful that would erase the memory. It didn't work; the phrase continued to run through his mind like it was on a loop. Thinking back, he could just about see everything like it was still happening in slow motion. His hand movements stilled when she told him that, and his eyes locked on hers. He had wished then he could see through her "work mode" face because that was the exact facial expression she had when she dropped that bombshell. Her face gave no emotion, no expression, and he stared into her eyes wishful he could see into her soul.

 _"I'm sorry I doubted you," he said quickly that night, swallowing hard, as if he was swallowing his pride. "I know it's none of my business, yet I keep bringing it up. I guess I was trying to figure out where we were, if this is back on, the two of us sleeping together all the time, or if this is just temporary, while we are stuck in this situation with Rusty in danger."_

 _Sharon's hands, which were resting on his thighs, moved slowly down to his knees as she dropped her head and spoke quietly, "I think we know how to kill the mood," she sighed. She looked up and locked eyes with him, "I've told you I was sleeping with someone else, but I've also tried to keep those details out of this," she nodded to him. "As far as what you and I are doing, I thought we were at least enjoying this stressful time, and I've told you that I have a handle on things in my life. If that's too much-" she paused, trying to search for an answer within him._

 _"No, I just, now," he shook his head, his arms still loosely sitting on her hips, "I think tonight at least we need to call it a night. Earlier was great, and yeah, sorry, but I realize I killed the mood now for more."_

 _"Okay," Sharon said quietly and nodded._

 _Andy reached to the sink bowl where there was a towel sitting, and he handed it to her, shifting to get off the side of the vanity. "I'll let you finish in here while I close up in the living room."_

 _Sharon watched as he moved to the doorway, "Andy," she called to him, and he stopped, bracing his arm on the door, but not turning around to her, "you knew I'd found someone else for this."_

 _"I know," he said and nodded, still facing away. "It's not that," he added. "I just need to decide if I like the idea of having to share you, this," he sighed. He walked out and shut the door, giving her some privacy, and he was surprised when 10 minutes later, she came looking for him. He was standing in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. That had seemed liked a harmless activity to him, but he almost choked on his water when she came around the corner in a gorgeous long, black satin nightgown set with a robe over it. The robe was open, and the outfit was completely appropriate, but seeing her in it took his breath away._

 _"Look, Sharon," he said after he stopped coughing. She had walked to his side and was patting his back from his choking fit. He could smell the lavender in her hair and wanted to drag her back to the bedroom that second, but he just couldn't. "I'm sorry I brought that up tonight. Here we were having a good time. I know it's not my business, and I know you are an adult who can do whatever she wants with whomever she wants. I know we have no agreement right now; we ended that. I ended that. Sleeping together now is a mutual decision, and I have to go forward knowing you are sleeping with at least another guy. I'm trying to come to grips with that. I know it seems silly to you maybe, but I guess bottom line that even with a casual agreement like we had, friends sleeping together, I don't like sharing. I don't like you having an arrangement with someone else while you have it with me. That's on me, no judgment on you. I have to decide if I'm okay with it. I ended it because I thought I wanted to try with Sandra again. I wasn't about to enter a relationship with her while sleeping with you. This is different," he eyed her, "I take it because from what you've said, you are not emotionally involved with either of us; you want a physical, sexual relationship and nothing more. I know I slept around plenty throughout my years, and this, for you, is the same but different. After Michelle, I didn't keep going back to the same person, not until you. Anyone I brought home, it was a one-time, maybe two-time thing, nothing more. I just-"_

 _Sharon, who had stepped back after he was breathing okay again, crossed her arms and looked to the floor, "We can talk about Paul. I owe you that."_

 _"No, look," he held up his hand, the sadness evident on his face, "let's get some sleep for tonight. It's late, and I don't want to say or act in a way I'll regret. I value you, our friendship, everything we've done, too much. I needed to tell you why it was bothering me; it's not a jealousy, but me just trying to decide if I want to proceed like this, but please, as much as I've asked, I really don't want to know."_

 _"Come to bed," Sharon said, tugging on his hand. "We had set such a perfect mood. We can try that again if you want," she said, her eyes searching his, the clear interest still there. "Andy, we are pretty great together." She stepped closer to him, putting her hand under his t-shirt. He closed his eyes._

 _"I'm not questioning that. Being with you is, is, is just-it's better than with any woman I've ever slept with," he admitted to her. "I have no right to be mad at you; I'm not mad."_

 _"Let's talk, then, let me explain everything. I realize I haven't done that, and these last few days, I should," she nodded. "I've avoided it on purpose." Sharon was there, almost pressed against him, her hands now running along his side. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. He started to say something, but stopped, and he leaned in and kissed her again; she was like a magnet. The kiss continued, as he ran his hands just under the tip of her robe on her shoulders, just under the thin strap of her nightgown, and then, he stopped, putting his head against hers. He sighed, unsure of what to do, and he heard her do the same._

 _"I know I prodded, poked for information, but I can't hear it, and tonight, I need to not do this again. I think my head it too much into this, and up until now, we've kept our heads out of it. I can't do this again tonight. You are so hot right now; you were so hot earlier. I need to shake this off and get some sleep."_

 _Sharon bit her lip and nodded, stepping back away from him. Andy wanted to clasp her fingers in his as soon as she pulled them from his skin, but he didn't. He looked at her, and she nodded, "I'm really glad you found more about Michelle, about Sarah. We can pick up that tomorrow; we are going to find them."_

 _"We are," he said, as he stepped around her. "It's late."_

 _Sharon nodded and followed him down the hall. She paused by her door when he continued to walk, "Andy?" Sharon called to him, surprise in her voice. He turned, and she nodded toward her room, "Did you want to sleep with me? You have been all week."_

 _Andy offered a small shrug, "Who are we kidding, Sharon? We don't sleep together. I mean, sure we keep saying that, but let's call it what it is. We have sex. That's what we've both wanted. We use each other for that, and that's okay, fine, even great. We've already done that tonight, every night this week," he offered. "I need some sleep; we don't sleep together, but we just use a bed to sleep between sex. Get some sleep," he said with a sad smile and a nod. "We can work on finding Michelle and Sarah tomorrow."_

Andy sighed and closed his eyes, trying to burn the memory out of his mind. He must have dozed off because he jolted awake when the door opened, and he realized he had lost track of time.

"Here, coffee, sugar, two creams," Provenza said handing it to him before he climbed in with his cup of coffee too. Provenza sipped on it while Andy nodded his thanks. Andy shifted and shook his head, trying to come out of his daze.

"I'll type up that witness statement when we get back to the office," Andy told him, trying to jump back into work mode. They were at work, and it was easier to focus on that right now. He glanced at Provenza who had not even started the car. "Are we running surveillance on the coffee shop or something?"

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" Provenza asked in his flat tone, not even looking at Andy, but looking straight ahead. He took another sip of his coffee as he waited for an answer.

Andy, who was looking at Provenza anyway, frowned with an irritated expression, "What are you talking about?"

"I speak English; you speak English. You heard me," Provenza stated, taking another sip. "No surveillance here, at least not this coffee shop. It's more of I've had my eye on you. Fess up."

"Provenza, you are way off," Andy waved, sighing as he turned to look out the window. "You've completely lost it. Let's swing by a nursing home because I think you need a spot."

"It's amazing, Flynn, you still think I'm some moron after all these years. I've got all day," he gestured. "I can wait it out."

Andy shook his head and turned to look straight ahead, grasping his cup in his hands, "You don't even know anything. I'm not sleeping with Sandra."

"Oh, I'm well aware of that," Provenza chuckled as he nodded. "Thank goodness. She's a disaster, and I've seen the two of you around each other-no chemistry whatsoever. You and I both know that's not the woman. I can play this game as long as you want. I'm no idiot."

"How do you-" Andy glanced at him, Provenza still looking forward, and Andy shook his head.

"I will say, and," he looked Andy in the eye, "will never admit this to another living soul, that at least she's good-looking, Flynn, but as big of an idiot as you are, I really didn't think you'd be this stupid."

"July," Andy blurted out, his eyes fixed straight ahead. "July."

"July?" Provenza asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked over at Andy. "I didn't think that long, even worse than I thought."

"I wasn't sleeping with her when I was trying to work out things with Sandra," Andy explained, gesturing with his hands. "I ended things, not that there was really anything to end. It was a mutual arrangement, just sex, just a good time. We both wanted that," he told Provenza.

Provenza grimaced, but he didn't say anything. He just nodded, "I suppose that is why nothing was officially filed?"

"There was no relationship, just a friendship, a friendship with more. It was comfortable, easy," Andy shrugged. "We walked away no problems, at least I thought."

"Is that why Sandra finally ended it, that and your long-lost kid?" Provenza asked.

"Sandra never knew the name; I told her I'd been sleeping with a friend, but I never gave her more than that. I never slept with Sandra; it just didn't happen. It wasn't right; we were going to several times, but arguments, whatever," he waved, "always got in the way."

"And, the captain just waited and took you back into her bed?" Provenza asked, eyeing him.

"Opposite, sort of," Andy shrugged. "She's been sleeping with someone else."

Provenza gave him a look, and he sipped his coffee again. Finally, he nodded, "So, my timing was just off. I thought you two had started sleeping together while young Rusty was out of the house, all with the excuse you were comforting her. I have seen the signs, Flynn. I just didn't realize my timing was off."

"Fine, you're as good of a detective as you think," Andy sighed, bringing his hand up to his face. "We fell into bed again. Yeah, the Stroh situation, we started back up again."

"The captain is sleeping with two of you?" Provenza asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah, look, I'm not wanting to gossip," Andy said.

"I think we can clear me as any sort of gossip," Provenza chuckled. "I started this conversation to clear the air for work; I see it. Now, I had no idea it would twist and turn like this, but no gossip here. I'm just trying to find out how deep a hole you are in. So, it's back on?"

"Maybe," Andy nodded. "I don't know anymore. She's been telling me there was another guy. I guess I was okay with that, like she'd moved on to find a guy who could do what I had ended. I don't like it now. She's telling me she's okay with starting up again. I mean, we did, every night at the condo."

"Flynn," Provenza groaned. "I don't need specifics."

"Fine," Andy nodded, "just wanting you to have a clear picture. It wasn't just a one-time thing. It never was. We talked about it after Nic's wedding. That's the night it started. She's one of those women you just can't," he paused and shook his head. "It was working for us. I ended it to work on the Sandra situation. Sharon found someone else. Now, the whole Stroh thing put us in closed quarters again. It almost happened on New Year's, but we stopped. We spend hours working on my search, and I guess I liked that she wasn't disgusted by my behavior of 20 years ago, no judgment. She's still legally married, and I knew that. It was working, being friends, sleeping together, until it wasn't. I told her I don't know if I'm okay basically sharing her, having her sleep with me and some other guy too. I think I just have too much on my plate, worried about her and also Rusty, working on this search for my daughter. It's not some jealousy thing."

"That's exactly what it is, you idiot!" Provenza finally said with an edge in his voice. "You're jealous and want to have your cake and eat it too. Besides the fact this is incredibly stupid and involves your boss, you want her to sit and wait for you. You were only okay she was going to bed with some guy because you were planning to do the same with your ex. When it didn't work, it sounds like you wanted the captain to drop everything and drop back into your bed. Now that the situation isn't ideal, that she's back in your bed, but other nights is with some other guy, nothing like what you want, you're jealous. It's not you worried about your search. Obviously, you can focus on that and taking the captain to bed. It's jealousy, exactly that."

"I'm not jealous!" Andy said, now visibly irritated. "It's hard to explain; you don't get it. Now, it's like when we're making love, I can't even enjoy it. I see her with some other guy, and I ruined it. It used to be so great, so easy, and now, it's not."

"Ahh," Provenza waved his hand in the air, "there it is-let's go back over that last statement. We seem to be talking about two different things, which isn't where I saw this going, but it explains a lot. Before we discuss it further, I need to find a grocery bag."

"Why?" Andy gestured, almost challenging him. He was really mad now. "You're wanting to eat popcorn during this, like it's some sort of movie flick you're watching, me here all irritated!"

"I need to vomit after hearing that horrendous statement you made," Provenza grumbled, shaking his head at Andy. "No way I can go back to work now, and I guarantee I won't be able to face the captain."


	26. Chapter 26

It was a miracle. It was Valentine's Day, and somehow, the team hadn't caught a case. "Dirtbags in love," Andy had joked to the team earlier when they were all betting on whether or not they'd get through the day without a case. Now that they had, the team had started to disperse for the evening. Amy had left, not mentioning much of anything to the team. Buzz and Julio, without anything going on for the evening, had decided to catch a movie and a pizza, inviting Rusty along with them. That left the three lieutenants, all still at their desks working on various things while Sharon continued to work in her office.

Andy glanced up toward Provenza and Mike, wanting to say something, irritated they were still here, but unwilling to start any conversation because he had a feeling he knew why Provenza, at least was here. Andy and Sharon had been doing fine at work, all business, even making a few jokes with each other, but they hadn't really been alone under any situation since Andy had left the condo during the Stroh mess. He wanted so badly to tell Sharon he was fine sleeping with her, sharing her with another man, if that was even the right idea, but honestly, he wasn't okay with it. Provenza had made him feel self-conscious too, pointing out Andy's slip of his tongue. Andy had simply used the wrong phrasing. He'd tried to tell Provenza that, tried to tell him that he used that term, "making love" when describing his time with other women, but Provenza didn't buy it. Andy still wasn't convinced it wasn't just a slip of the tongue, but now, he was also very aware of anything regarding Sharon. His mind was having an internal struggle-he wanted to continue his arrangement with Sharon; he wanted to take her to bed again, but he wasn't sure he could handle the idea of her in his bed one night and another man's a different night.

Today, he was almost curious about her plans, wondering if she was going to see Paul, especially now that Rusty was busy. She was free to do whatever she wanted, but the more and more he wrestled with it, he wanted her to be with him. Tonight would be a great night for that, especially with Rusty busy, but asking her meant facing a possible rejection. It meant putting the ball in her court and having to possibly hear her say she was busy, had other plans because truthfully, if she said that, he had a pretty good idea about those other plans. It was making him sick.

So, he sat; he worked. He continued with his search, justifying that it was after hours now. Andy looked over toward Mike and Provenza again, "Hey Mike," he called out, and Mike turned to him, pushing his glasses up on his face again. "No big Valentine plans?"

"No," Mike made a face. "My wife is out of town, visiting her sister who is recovering from foot surgery. No plans tonight, but I half expected a case to be my Valentine's Day plan."

"Oh, yeah," Andy nodded and frowned slightly. That meant that Mike wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Andy shifted in his seat. If he shifted just right, he could sometimes catch Sharon's reflection off the glare of his computer screen. It was great because he could see her without being so obvious, without turning in his chair. She was sitting over her desk, her head propped up with her hand, and her hair was falling all down around her. He held back a groan; he loved that look on her, and there was something about the look that was so sexy to him. Some of it was just the image, seeing her with that same pose, her head propped on her hand while facing him in bed as they talked and laughed whenever they were together. He looked over at Provenza quickly, shaking the thoughts from his mind.

"What, none of your ex-wives were interested in your buffet steak dinner tonight?" Andy smirked at Provenza.

"Be quiet; I'm concentrating," Provenza said as he typed something on his computer. Andy gave him an odd look. It was a little unusual to see Provenza on his computer, doing actual work, especially at 6:00 in the evening. Andy sighed and sat back, crossing his arms.

"Andy, repeat to yourself it's not a good idea," Mike said casually from his desk as he flipped through a stack of papers. Andy's eyes widened, and he sat up in his chair, his elbows now on his desk.

"Wait, what? What was that Mike?" Andy asked again, scowling as he then looked to Provenza. Provenza paused, eyeing both men, and then, he went back to typing on his computer.

"You know better than anyone in the office that I might be quiet, but I'm observant," Mike said, turning fully to look at Andy. He lowered his voice, "Plus, a few weeks ago, Provenza and I had a little discussion about our observations, and we discovered we had both come to the same conclusion about your activities."

"You're serious?" Andy sat forward, gesturing with his hand. He glanced quickly back to Sharon's office, and he was glad to see she was still working. He turned back to Mike, aware Provenza had stopped typing, and he frowned at his friends, "How did you figure it out? It's not like it matters anymore; it's over, not happening."

"You are delusional if you actually believe that, Flynn. The way you are stealing glances at her- I wouldn't doubt you'd take her to the first bed you could find tonight if she was willing."

"Maybe it's the other way around, Provenza," Mike nodded. "Maybe Andy here is the one dragging his feet. Stranger things have happened, but he's not looking like the confident bachelor we both know. Andy," Mike called to him and rolled his eyes slightly, "I've known you a long time, not as long as Provenza, but come on. You can and have gotten most any woman you've ever wanted. I've watched you in action. It didn't take much in the way of detective skills to see this one coming a mile away."

"Who else knows?" Andy hissed, the panic now in his face.

"Just us," Mike shrugged. "We'll keep this in our lieutenant triangle, but I, my friend, am watching your back here tonight." Andy stared at him, his facial expressions between horrified, embarrassed, and impressed.

"Flynn!" Provenza stood up quickly, so quickly, his chair went flying back on its wheels. It was enough to startle both Andy and Mike; the men jumped and turned to him. He smacked his hand at his computer screen while he waited for a print out on his printer. "I got it! I found her."

Andy narrowed his gaze, and he looked at Mike, who had raised his eyebrows at Provenza. Both shook their heads, and Andy cleared his throat, "Provenza, we don't have an open case. What are you doing? Oh, wait," he grinned, "you found someone who will go out with you tonight on such short notice. You found some desperate woman, right? How much are you paying her?"

Mike started to laugh, nodding at Andy for his comment. Provenza ignored it, snatching the paper off the printer, and he then quickly made his way across the room. Andy gave Mike a look; Provenza didn't often move that quickly.

"Her, you idiot! I found HER," he said, enunciating the word. Andy searched his eyes, trying to figure it out, and Provenza nodded as he smacked a paper down on Andy's desk. "HER," he pointed to the paperwork.

"Michelle Smith, Seward, Alaska," Andy repeated as he read over the paperwork. Provenza had found some sort of tax receipt. It was old, but Andy scanned it, and he looked up at Provenza. "How did you find this? That's what you were doing?"

"Don't worry about how-I found it. I'm that good," he nodded. Andy looked it over again, and then, he looked back up at Provenza, shaking his head. "Sorry, Flynn," he nodded his head toward Mike. "I didn't mean to do this here. I got excited."

Andy waved him off, a dazed expression on his face. He looked to Mike, still almost shell-shocked, "Ahh, Mike, long story, but I've been searching for-we," he corrected, "we-Provenza, Sharon, and I have been searching for this woman. She had my kid-20 years ago now. I didn't even know her name until recently."

"Wow, didn't see that coming," Mike said, whistling. He pursed his lips, "Scientifically speaking, playing the flips side here, and again, I have no details-you're sure it's your kid? DNA all that can help."

"I'm pretty sure," Andy nodded, looking again at the simple paper. "I can't believe you found this, after all this time."

"It's from three years ago, but it's more current than anything you've found," Provenza pointed out. "I'd say you are getting close."

Andy nodded, still gripping the paper. He finally stood quickly, almost knocking Provenza over, and with the paper in hand, he walked to Sharon's office, knocking as he opened it. It was after hours, and honestly, he just didn't care.

"Provenza found her," Andy stated, his voice changing as he said it to her. "Sharon, he found her."

Sharon's eyes widened, and she dropped her pen, looking up at him, "What? He found her?"

Andy put the paper down in front of her and pointed, as Provenza and Mike followed into the office, "Alaska, can you believe it? She's in Alaska, or she was three years ago." Sharon studied the paperwork, her eyes almost dancing across the words. She nodded as she read it, and then, she looked up, finding her three lieutenants all there.

"Ahh, Mike, I see you have now been looped into this?" Sharon asked, giving Andy a glance.

"Just now, Captain, but I'll be glad to help, whatever Andy needs," he explained.

"Captain, it's after hours, and I was continuing a search I worked on the other day. I finally got a hit," he said, patting Andy on the back. "We're getting somewhere, Flynn. We can track someone down the last three years. It's closer than 20 or 21."

"Indeed," Sharon said, a small smile as she handed the paperwork back to Andy. He was there, almost grinning, so happy to have something, anything on his search. "What is the plan now?"

"I'm going to finish this tonight; I can't stop now," Andy said. "I can do this. This is more than we thought. Alaska. If she's still there, we'll find her."

"I was planning to finish a report I have and then had mentioned to my youngest son I might swing by his dorm to take him to dinner. He broke up with his girlfriend two weeks ago, but I can help with this tonight if you need," Mike explained.

"I'll help Flynn," Provenza said. "You and I can handle this. Tao, I think we can handle this part, but we might need your help whenever we send Flynn on his way, covering down here at the office. Someone," he glanced at Sharon, "will have to go with him. If Flynn's bartender in Alaska, I don't do cold."

"Lieutenant," Sharon said, her elbows resting on her desk as she crossed her hands and rested her chin on them, "you've told me you don't do hot weather either."

"Exactly, I'm very specific about what I can handle, and you'll definitely know what I hate," he grumbled.

"Provenza, I'm very grateful for your help," Andy said, nodding at him. He turned to Sharon, "You too, Sharon. You've been working on this a long time."

"It's not solved yet," she pointed out, gesturing at the men. "Go, it's getting late. No need to work on this here."

"Flynn, you can repay me by ordering my favorite pizza to be delivered to your place. We can work there. I know you still have beer from the last time I was there," Provenza instructed.

"Fine, sure," Andy nodded. "I have all of my research at home too."

"I'll help," Sharon offered, standing to be closer to eye level with the men. "I'm ready and willing; Rusty is out for the evening."

The men all looked at her, and she gave a slight shrug, "I don't want to bother you tonight," Andy shook his head.

"Good," she nodded. "You're not. You told me about this first, and I want to see it through to the end. Any issue with that?"

Provenza glanced at Andy, and Andy locked eyes on her, "I'd love to have your help again."

"Captain," Provenza smirked at her, "you wouldn't like double pepperoni, extra cheese, and mushrooms on your pizza, would you?"

Sharon, still looking at Andy, commented, "After Ricky and Rusty, Lieutenant, I eat about anything. I do love pizza. I'll even buy the pizza," she added. "I think we should be okay with your pizza, Lieutenant and maybe a veggie. Shall we meet at Andy's place to finally locate his daughter?"

"Not sure what is more unbelievable," Mike chuckled and added, "the fact that Andy has a long-lost daughter or that the three of you have become friends and are going to spend the evening eating together and working on a project."


	27. Chapter 27

Sharon carried the empty pizza boxes into the kitchen where Andy was making a pot of coffee. Provenza was still in the living room working on his computer. Sharon met Andy's gaze and gestured with the boxes, "Recycling?"

"Sure, cans are by garage, but I'll take them outside. You don't need to do that," he explained.

"No trouble," she said and moved to the door. "The fresh air might do me some good."

Sharon put the pizza boxes in the recycling and as she started back to Andy's back door, she stepped back, almost surprised, to see he'd followed her and was standing on his back deck, just looking up at the night sky.

"Cold tonight," he said, his voice low and yet calm. He put his hands in his pockets, and Sharon walked up the steps and stood next to him.

"It is, but I was getting tired in there. The cool air is helping," she explained as she crossed her arms and rubbed her shoulders with her hands.

"Sharon, you don't have to stay here. I feel horrible I dragged you over here this evening, and it's even worse you bought the pizzas. Please, go home and get some rest. I can work on this on my own; it's my mess," he said with a small frown.

"I don't mind," she sighed. "I'd just be waiting up for Rusty at home, and he won't be home for at least another couple hours. I'll leave here in another hour or so, that is," she turned to him, "if I'm not bothering you being here."

"No, I never mind being around you," he said quietly, trying to catch a glance of her. Her eyes were darting, looking up at the night sky, hoping to see anything. "You don't need to keep cancelling plans on my account, though. Tonight of all nights," he sighed and shook his head.

"Funny," she sighed, "continuing the search for your daughter fits into my plans for tonight. In fact, with Rusty going out, I had thought that maybe you and I would work for a couple hours and then-" she stopped talking and let it hang there. "It was just a thought, but then, Provenza is still here, and maybe that has been your plan all along. I thought more about it and wondered if that was what you wanted, if you weren't interested in continuing our arrangement."

Andy dropped his head and let out a long sigh, "Provenza probably has a good idea what you and I would be doing if we were left alone. He's my best friend. As much as I would like to kick him out and take you back to my bedroom the next couple hours, I'm not sure that's what I want to do, I mean, if that's the best thing for us to be doing. I am trying to say," he shook his head, "I won't continue this until I come to grips with this guy of yours, Paul."

"Fine," she crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "Let's discuss Paul. You continue to bring him up, and I know that it bothers you."

"Flynn," the two snapped their heads to the door. Andy and Sharon were there facing each other, very close together, but Sharon had her arms crossed while Andy still hand his hands in his pockets. Andy heard Sharon let out a long sigh, and he nodded to Provenza. "You're out of sugar for the coffee. Do you have more?"

"Yeah," Andy nodded, glancing quickly at Sharon. "I'm coming now. Let's get back to work. Sharon said she needs to head home in another hour." Andy looked at Sharon, but she looked away, almost staring at anything else. Andy turned back and found Provenza standing there, with no clue he'd interrupted at a crucial time. In a way, Andy realized it was the perfect timing. He really didn't want to hear about Paul with Sharon on Valentine's Day; he just couldn't hear it today.

Sharon ended up leaving a half hour later. The three seemed to be at a stopping point for the evening, and when she realized Provenza wasn't going to budge and Andy was still stuck on thoughts of Paul, she gave in and stood, looking to the men.

"I need to get going; I'm getting tired, and Rusty will be home soon," she said, looking at two of her lieutenants. "Are you two going to work much longer?"

"Not sure," Andy shook his head. Provenza sat back and ran his hand over his face. The three had been doing different computer searches on and off all evening. Provenza gestured at the television on in the corner of the room.

"It's not like there are any decent sports on this time of year. I might as well keep working. It's either this or drive down to the local watering hole. Flynn has beer here; this is free," he scowled.

Sharon held back a smile and nodded to the men, "Have a good evening then, what is left of it. I'll get going."

"I'll walk you out," Andy said, standing to follow her. She started to argue, but before she said anything, she closed her mouth and gave a small nod. Andy moved quickly to the door to grab her trench coat and held it for her while she put it on. She waved with a small smile at Provenza as she stepped outside, where she waited on the steps for Andy. He walked quietly alongside her to her car. Before they reached it, he spoke again, "So, can I tell you that I felt like you and I were off tonight, like I feel there is tension there? I don't like it," he said, turning to her at the car. She paused, her hands in her pockets, and she nodded before she looked down.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, shaking her head. "You aren't alone in that thought. Provenza here made it even more awkward I thought."

"It's like backwards to me," he continued. "We were sleeping together, and things were good. We were good. We got along just fine, even keeping things as they were. It wasn't a relationship; we kept the physical separate from work. To me, that's when it should have been complicated, but we figured that out just fine. Now, we aren't sleeping together or we stopped again now with Rusty back home, and it's weird. We're awkward around each other. I can't stand it, Sharon. I hate that, and I don't want to feel weird around you."

Sharon sighed and nodded as she continued to look down at the ground while she listened to Andy, "Perhaps we jumped into things again before we cleared the air."

"I don't need you to clear the air," he said, raising his hand.

"We should talk about Paul; you clearly want to know," she said, meeting his eyes. "Maybe I need to hear more about Sandra. That is really the problem here it seems. You wanted more with Sandra; it didn't happen. I-" she looked up at him.

"I don't think I do want to discuss more about him. I have a pretty good idea of what he did with you," Andy said shaking his head and sighing loudly. "I've told you about Sandra, how things fell apart. Look, I guess I'm trying to figure out how we proceed from here. I'm not sure what would have happened had Provenza not been here tonight, but yeah," he gestured with his hand toward the house, "guy is trying to save me from more agony. I just don't know how to be around you right now, and that's the truth. I don't know what to do or what to expect. I don't know whether to take you to bed or swear it off forever. I hate feeling like that, and I need you to know I'm struggling. I just-" he sighed again.

Sharon pursed her lips and nodded, "Let's table this until we get through this next on-call cycle. Tonight we aren't going to solve anything. We should talk, alone," she said as she eyed him, "without an audience-no Rusty and no Provenza. Can we table it for a few days?"

"Sure," he waved his hand as he shook his head again. "This is exactly what I didn't want."

"You're stressed; I've been stressed. I think we need to figure out what will work for the two of us, whether we can find that balance we seemed to have before. We both know how to fix the other's stress, but there's baggage there now that needs to be addressed."

"We'll table it," he said quietly.

"You've been searching day and night all while trying to watch out for me with my mess. Don't be so hard on yourself, on this," she said as she reached over to squeeze his hand. He looked at her when she did that, and she gave a small shrug, "I can't lose someone who has become a dear friend."

"You aren't going to lose me," he grumbled with a shake of his head.

"Promise me we can talk soon; we both have things to say," she met his gaze. He finally gave her a nod. She squeezed his hand again and gestured to her car, "I need to go."

"Be careful going home," he said again with a low grumble. "If you think about it-"

"I'll text you when I'm home," she finished his sentence. "Goodnight."

"Appreciate your help tonight," he said, holding her door as she got into the car. She looked up at him before she shut it.

"It's only a matter of time before you find her, Andy, "she said with a sympathetic smile. "Happy Valentine's Day," and with that, she closed her door, looked away, and she backed out of his driveway. Andy stood there, not looking at her as she left, but down at the ground. When he turned, he saw Provenza open the door.

"Thanks," Andy called up to him, nodding. "I know I never asked you to come, to stay, but thanks. I didn't need to complicate things even more tonight, of all nights, tonight."

"Yeah, well, consider all of my failed relationships an asset to you," Provenza frowned. "I can't keep doing this," he gestured. "You can't keep doing this."

"I'm not getting into it again; I need to focus," Andy said with a nod. "Let me deal with the mess I created 21 years ago right now. It's all I can handle."


	28. Chapter 28

Her phone rang at what she knew was an insane hour; the dark skylight told her as much when she opened her eyes and fumbled for the phone.

"Captain Raydor," she said in a low rumble, clearing her voice as she sat up. Sharon had been sleeping hard, harder than normal. She was normally a light sleeper, but the exhaustion of the last few months had been catching up with her. Her drive home from Andy's house now last night had been a frustrating one. Things between them were strained, and sooner than later, they both needed to put all cards on the table.

"You won't believe it!" Andy exclaimed, and with that, Sharon sat up, awake now, and she pushed her hair out of her face.

"We caught a case?" Sharon asked. "What's the problem?"

"Sharon, I found her!" Andy exclaimed, and she opened her eyes further, trying to gather what was going on.

"Andy, wait, what?" Sharon asked, moving over to switch on the light. She put on her glasses, not that they would help with a phone call.

"I found her, Michelle and hopefully, Sarah!" Andy exclaimed. "I found them, at least Michelle! Alaska, Sharon. They are in Alaska."

"Alaska?" Sharon said, now standing up as she reached for her robe. She was cold, and it took her a few moments to wake herself and turn her attention back to the conversation. She sat down on the side of the bed and balanced the phone on her shoulder as she pulled her hair from her robe. "Andy, what time is it?"

"4:30. I've been up all night, couldn't sleep. I just had this feeling I was close. Provenza went home shortly after you did, but I haven't slept a wink yet. I found Michelle from my search. It looks like she's living in a small town in Alaska," he explained to her.

"Andy, I just can't believe it," Sharon spit out quickly, almost leaving her speechless. She shook her head, "It's really Michelle?"

"Yeah, appears to be, and like I said, I hope if I've found her, that means I'll have found Sarah. I'm not finding anything for her coming in the same area, but it's a start. If I can maybe just talk to Michelle, she will explain everything. Sharon, I'm this close; months after searching, I've finally found something solid," he said quickly, his voice shaky as he finally let out a sigh of relief.

"Andy, this is huge," Sharon said, her voice low as she tried to think through everything. "She moved to Alaska? That's a long way from Los Angeles."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Andy sighed. Sharon envisioned Andy sitting there, running his hands through his hair. He often did that on nights they had to work late, and from what he'd told her, he had done just that. "I guess it makes sense," he continued, drawing Sharon back to the conversation. "Last place I'd tracked her, where Sarah was born, was Seattle. Sounds like she continued further north, no idea why, but what I found shows her in Alaska."

"I'm speechless," Sharon admitted, running her hand over her face.

"Sorry, I am sure I woke you. I didn't even think about the time. I mean, I've been working all night, and as soon as I found her, I wanted to tell you," he sighed. "I feel like a jerk now, waking you up Sharon."

"No, I'm glad you called," she told him. "I have told you I want to help with this."

"Yeah, but it's my mess; I feel badly I've dragged you and Provenza into this. Don't get me wrong-I'm very grateful for the help, for everything you've done, but really, I should have waited to call. I'm sorry. We can talk about this later," he told her.

"Don't you dare hang up on me," Sharon said directly. "Andy, I do want to be involved. I do want to help. You are one of my closest friends, my best friend," she clarified and continued, "regardless of any awkwardness we have going on right now. Please tell me everything."

"What I can tell you is that as soon as we finish this online cycle, I'm out of here; I'm going to Alaska to track down Michelle and hopefully Sarah. I've wasted 21 years, and I'm not about to waste a second more. This is something I feel strongly about and won't be talked out of doing," he informed her.

"Okay," she said with a small nod. "Andy, it's Alaska, though, and it's February. We aren't talking sandy beaches and sunny skies; in fact, we are talking about very little sun at all. Alaska, Andy."

"I'm aware, and I don't care. If she can live there, I can handle a long-overdue trip there. This is about meeting my daughter, finding out what happened to her, what I abandoned. It's the very least I can do," he explained.

"You don't want to try calling, see what you can find out on the phone? You're sure this is the right person?" Sharon asked.

"I'm sure, positive," he explained. "I'll go over the details later. I'm going, and no, I don't want to call. I spooked her 21 years ago, and I'm not risking that again. I don't know what the situation is up there, and honestly, I need to see it. I can't risk losing her when I'm this close to finding her. This has to be in person."

"Okay," Sharon agreed. "Let's start with meeting in person for breakfast where you can tell me all the details you uncovered tonight."

"I'm really sorry I pulled you from your sleep. That was a jerk move. Why don't you just get some rest, and we can talk later," he suggested.

"Andy, I'm up, and I'm going to get ready for work. It's too close to morning for me to try and get more sleep. I'm happy you found her, and I understand that excitement to share. I'm also glad you called me; I do want to know everything. So, we can either meet somewhere for breakfast, or you can stop by here, and I'll make us something to eat. Your decision."

"I didn't call for a breakfast invite," he stated.

"Well aware," she nodded. "So, what's your decision?"

Sharon heard him let out a long sigh, and he was quiet for a few moments, "I guess if you don't mind, I'll stop by there, but let me bring something. I'll get coffee and bagels. I know you like bagels."

"I'll agree to that," she nodded. "While you are on your way, I'll get dressed for the day. I'm assuming you need to shower and change as well?"

"Yeah, I'll be fast though. I am on edge Sharon. If I didn't have to be here for work, I'd get on a plane now," he sighed.

"Better you take a few days to get your trip set, gather your thoughts, and just be prepared for this trip. It's life-changing, Andy. Take your time coming over here, and I'll see you soon," she said before she hung up the phone.

It was an hour later, still well before 6:00 that morning, when Andy stopped by the condo. Sharon heard the light knock on the door and answered it quickly. Her heels clicked on the floor, and she smoothed down her pants. She'd opted for a black pant suit today, knowing they could get stuck at the office late. It was just going to be a long day. After getting dressed, she'd spent the quiet time she had working at her desk. She opened the door and smiled slight at him as he entered, "Morning," Andy nodded to her, moving through the condo quickly. "Sorry, the coffee spilled a little on my hand."

Sharon followed him into the kitchen, noting he was also wearing a black suit today and waited for him by the counter while he finished at the sink. She picked up one of the coffee cups to sip on it, "Your hand okay?" She hummed as she sipped her coffee, "Thank you. That hits the spot."

"Hand is fine," he said, wiping his hands on her kitchen towel as he turned back to her from the sink. "Least I could do after pulling you from your sleep is get you coffee. Thanks for inviting me to breakfast," he nodded.

Sharon gestured to the table, "Have a seat. I did slice up some fruit to have with the bagels. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, that's plenty. I'm almost nervous to eat, if that's possible," he said, giving her a small smile. Andy moved around Sharon, who was now at the refrigerator, and a few moments later, both were seated at the kitchen table. "Rusty?"

"He's sleeping. Normally, he gets up around 6:30," she told him. "We have time. Please, catch me up," she said with a small smile.

"Okay," Andy said, putting his coffee on the table and folding his hands on the table. He gestured to the bag of bagels for Sharon, and she pulled out two, one for each of them. While she started to prepare hers, he began talking, "After you left, I was able to refocus my search. I did a more expansive search, and finally, I included Alaska, never imaging I would find anything," he chuckled quietly. "Right there in front of me, all this time. To make a long story short, I found her coming up in a search, and it looks like she lives in a small coastal town in Alaska, Seward."

"Okay," Sharon said after she finished chewing. "Have you looked up anything? Alaska is a long way away, and the state is huge. Many areas, from what I know, you can't even access by car. Is this somewhere you can drive once you get up there? Where is it?"

"It's a couple hours from Anchorage, and yeah," he nodded, "I did check that. You can drive there, south of Anchorage on the water. It's really small. I'm hoping I can find her. Last thing I found, that is after I figured out she was in Seward, was an address. I'm hoping that's where she lives."

"That's really great, Andy," Sharon said, sitting there near him. She put her hand on his and squeezed it. "I'm proud of you."

"Morning, Sharon," they both heard, and Sharon pulled her hand back and sat back in her chair. Her eyes were still looking at his, and he was doing the same. Sharon finally turned up to Rusty as he rounded the corner. "Oh, wow, umm, Lieutenant?"

"Morning, Rusty," Sharon nodded to him, gesturing to Andy. "We're talking over a case. Andy just stopped by a few minutes ago. You are up early."

"Plenty of bagels in the bag, Kid," Andy nodded to it. "I bought a dozen."

"Oh, cool, thanks, Lieutenant," Rusty grinned. He turned back to Sharon, "I just woke up early, couldn't fall back asleep."

"We start our on call cycle today," Sharon told him, still looking at Andy. "This is something else, something we've been working on for awhile now." Andy gave her a small nod of thanks for not going into the specifics. Rusty seemed to agree with that too as he took a bite of one of the bagels.

"These blueberry bagels taste like a muffin," he said between bites. He moved around the kitchen, working on the coffee. "You two wouldn't be talking about the Stroh mess and hiding it from me?"

"No," Sharon's eyes widened, and she turned to look at Rusty. "Rusty, I assure you this case has nothing to do with Stroh."

"Okay, good," he told her. "I'm going to hop in the shower while the coffee is finishing. Are you two still going to be sitting here?"

Sharon eyed Andy, and Andy looked to Rusty, "Ahh, not sure. We're heading to work soon."

"If I don't see you," Sharon turned again to look at Rusty, "I'll see you later tonight, that is, unless we catch a case."

"Cool, I'll make dinner," he nodded. "Have a good day," he told them as he started back toward the bathroom.

Andy waited until they heard the bathroom door closed, and then, he sat up closer to speak to Sharon, "I appreciate you not telling him about this mess of mine. I know I'm going to have to tell him, to tell everyone, but I don't want to do it yet."

Sharon nodded, "It's not my story to tell. You are right, though. You will have to tell people."

"It's embarrassing," he sighed and dropped his head. "I mean, I'm not going to be embarrassed by my own kid. I'm not ashamed of her, but of the way I've acted. I'm embarrassed Rusty will have to hear what a screw up I was. I'm no better than his own mother and father," Andy gestured with his hand down the hall. "Kid's own father turned out to be a dirt bag. You were suspicious as soon as he turned up; we all were. This isn't much different."

"Andy," Sharon said, pursing her lips as she met his gaze. She squeezed his hand there on the table, "You are not like Daniel Dunn. You aren't going to be anything like him. Rusty already knows you, and this will be much different. He will see you for who you are now."

"Daniel didn't know about Rusty," Andy gestured. "I've known about Sarah, at least that Michelle was pregnant. I could have done more to find her. Instead, I let her run, tried to forget, and I haven't looked back."

Sharon nodded, "It's not the same. We can talk to Rusty together; I'll help you explain it. It is different. You are nothing like Daniel Dunn. The rest of the team will rally behind you; it's what we do. We all care about each other."

Andy nodded to himself as he dropped his head, "It's still my mess. There are things you don't want to discuss with people. This is one of those things, but I know I have to do it."

"I am still here," Sharon said, reaching for his hand again, giving him a small smile. "I knew everything, and it didn't change things."

Sharon's phone rang then, startling her, but she stood to get it. Andy sipped on his coffee while she answered it, "Yes, Chief," she said, rolling her eyes at Andy. "I can be in your office by 8:00." She hung up and found Andy looking at her with raised eyebrows, "See," she gestured, "the early morning was a good thing. Chief wants me at work. Let's get going. We can talk when we get there."

"Maybe," he shrugged lightly, "if you don't mind, we could ride together and finish talking. I'll drop you off tonight on my way home."

"This isn't on your way home," Sharon frowned at him.

He shrugged again, "Sharon, I've spent plenty of late nights driving home from your condo. Let me drive, please? You're right; you've been a good friend."

She nodded, "You need to tell Provenza."

"Already left him a message. Way I see it, he'll be at work early. I'll tell him there, and maybe, we can figure out my time off," he looked to her.

"Let's get through this on call cycle," she looked to him with pleading eyes.

"A lot on my plate when we finish this on call cycle, a lot of things I need to do," he looked back at her, fixing his eyes on her.

"Indeed," Sharon said, taking a deep breath.


	29. Chapter 29

"Come in," Sharon called and cleared her throat while she looked up at her office door. She gave Provenza a small smile as he stepped inside. She crossed her hands on her desk and watched as he closed the door and took a seat across from her. It was the end of the day, and by some miracle, they hadn't caught a case. The team had kept busy, working through some of their yearly trainings, while they basically waited for a call-out.

"We got through three of the training sessions," he waved his hand and rolled his eyes. "Many thanks for dumping that on my desk today."

Sharon grinned and chuckled quietly, "You're welcome. I should report back to Taylor that you finished that much on Day 1 out of his new yearly training manual. He would think you're trying to do a good job."

"As if," he grumbled. "You and I both know our free time here is limited. Made sense to knock out that junk since you were given the new manual and sessions today."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," she said warmly, smiling at him. "I appreciate you and the team finishing that work so quickly. I hope you told everyone to go home and get some rest. It's like a ticking time bomb; we could be called out at any moment, as you know."

"I did," he nodded. "I'm heading out shortly myself. Say," he called to her, drawing her attention again. Her eyes met his. "Flynn told me about finding his kid," he rolled his eyes. "I'm caught up."

"Ahh," Sharon nodded, glancing out to Andy's desk where he was still working at his computer. "Alaska, hmm?"

"Let me be clear, Captain," Provenza said, shifting in his seat. He sat forward and looked directly at Sharon, "I know we aren't going to be able to stop Flynn for going on this quest, but let's face facts. It's probably not going to go well. He's not going to receive some warm welcome, and I'm not just saying that because he's planning to trek up to the frozen tundra of Alaska. This could and more than likely will go badly for him. He could come back empty-handed. I'm worried what this could do to him. There's not even proof this Michelle woman kept the kid," Provenza gestured. "Even if she did, it could turn into more of a search. There's no proof the kid is there. All of this could be a total disaster. I'm not convinced it would be easier to solve the mystery of the disappearance of Amelia Earhart than to find Flynn's daughter somewhere in the world. Look, all I'm saying is that I think we, meaning you and I," he eyed her, "need to do something about this. It's not going to be the warm and fuzzy family gathering. Instead of a "Leave it to Beaver" moment, we could be faced with some scene like one out of a horror flick. We need to take action."

"Such as?" Sharon asked. "I asked him about calling first, gathering more information, and he refuses to do that."

"Flynn is set on going there. I suppose I understand, but," he held up his hand to make a point, "I'm not going to Alaska. I don't do cold. I'd rather run than go to the ends of the Earth where the sun doesn't shine," he scowled. "Knowing what you know about me, I won't run, and I won't go to Alaska. Someone would have to be dying for me to do either, and I don't see that in the cards right now. As much as it pains me to say this, Captain, I think you should go with him. I'm well aware of the mess you two have created with your extracurricular activities," he rolled his eyes. "I'm also aware you two have made things plenty awkward. I think, though, that you are friends enough, that he trusts you as much as he trusts me, that you should be the one to go with him. He listens to you. He argues with me."

"He argues with me," Sharon raised an eyebrow, nodding at him.

"He argues with you about your, your boy toy or whatever he is!" Provenza waved. "I'm hopeful that you can tag along with Flynn, no boy toy on the side for a few days," he eyed her, "and help the man you claim is your best friend."

"He is my best friend," Sharon pursed her lips and nodded. "I will do anything he needs."

"I've heard," he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Regarding this particular situation, so, with this," Provenza gestured to her, "I've already figured out that Rusty can stay with me. I'll make sure he gets to school each day and feed him, whatever he needs."

Sharon thought a moment and nodded, "He would enjoy staying with you, but I beg you-please feed him something more than burgers each night."

Provenza chuckled, nodding, "I can do that. I like pizza too," he looked up at her. She started to laugh and shook her head. Provenza continued, "I do think you would be the best one to go with Flynn. He will be on edge, and Flynn and I never do well when one of us is short and ready for a fight."

"Hmm, so you mean most of the time?" Sharon teased, sitting forward further in her seat. She leaned her arms on the desk, "You do care about him, Lieutenant."

"I care about keeping him sane and sober. I trust you two can get along enough to do that on this trip," he looked to her, hopeful. She nodded in agreement. "I'll hold down things here and deal with Taylor."

"Ahh, so that's why you were so cooperative getting those training sessions done," she grinned.

"Just go with Flynn," he waved at her, glancing toward Andy still working at his desk. "He's going to need you, whatever he finds. I don't do friendly comforting; that's not on my list of my friend duties. I don't' comfort anyone, not even my ex-wives, and I'm not going to start with Flynn."

Sharon held back a smile, "You know, Lieutenant, some might think you care."

"Don't let that get out," he pointed at her. "Flynn said he's going to tell the team. Everyone will wonder about this sudden trip to Alaska, and it's time."

"We talked about that briefly this morning," she told him. "Andy realizes he will need to explain all of this to everyone."

"So, it's settled," Provenza said, nodding to her as he smacked his hand on the chair. "You'll go with Flynn. I'll hold down things here at work and with Rusty." He stood and looked at Sharon to confirm.

She nodded, and Provenza stepped to the door. She called out after him, "Lieutenant," she said, waiting for him to look at her. When he did, she added, "I'd already priced the tickets, and I made my list," she held up for him to see a lengthy list she had on a notepad, "of things to take. It is, after all, Alaska, in the winter. You and I are once again on the same page. Some might say we think alike." Her eyes met his, and she gave him a small shrug.

It almost looked like Provenza was holding back a smile, "Take care of him, Captain. We don't need a relapsed Flynn on our hands next."


	30. Chapter 30

Work was finished, the plans were set, and finally, the day had arrived. Getting to this day had been a process, a slow, painful process, but they were here. Andy was here, and Sharon was along for the ride, well, moral support and whatever else. It had been a long week and a half waiting out this day, much longer than that really. The week and a half was just how long it had taken to situate everything from work to travel arrangements to really, the hardest part-telling everyone.

The team discussion had gone okay, but he expected that. Everyone had faults. The team had worked together long enough to know each other's shortcomings and weaknesses. Admitting to his past indiscretion had been hard, but they had all been supportive. Of course, Sharon and Provenza already knew. Andy had waited until they had finished their call cycle and closed their case before he'd said anything at the end of the work day just a few days ago now.

 _"_ _Listen, guys," he stood before everyone started to leave for the day. Sharon had just come out of her office and thanked everyone for their hard work on the case, and before she had a chance to turn back and go into her office to finish her paperwork, Andy stood, eyeing Provenza first and then Sharon, hoping they both understood what he was about to do. They both paused. Sharon, instead of stepping back into her office, she turned and stood against the door there by Andy's desk. She gave him a subtle nod, and he looked to the team again and found all of them looking at him._

 _"_ _I need to talk to all of you about something," he paused and frowned. "It's something that I just," he paused again and sighed._

 _"_ _Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable, Andy," Sharon interjected, pointing to the conference room, "if we all talked in there?"_

 _Andy's eyes followed where she was pointing, and he nodded. Sharon didn't have to say anything to the team; they all started moving. Andy stood there, frozen, until Provenza walked by him and with a grand gesture, waved to the room. That seemed to pull Andy out of his trance, and Sharon followed, the last one in the group. She and Provenza sat on opposite sides of the table, the last two in the room, and Andy stood there at the head of the table. He rested his index finger on the table like he was making a point._

 _Once everyone was seated and all were stealing glances, Andy cleared his throat, "Okay, here's the deal," he started, looking up, but as soon as he made eye contact, he looked down again. "I'm taking some time off, a week I'm planning, to go to Alaska." He said that, and again, he looked to the team and found several giving him odd glances. He nodded, "I've hidden something, something I'm ashamed to admit I've hidden for over 20 years. It's been on my mind lately, and I finally did something about it. Guys," he looked up again and then shook his head, "I have another daughter, one I've never met. It was a stupid thing, 21 years ago, when I was drinking. It's no excuse, but back then, I was in no shape to do much of anything. I'd lost my family, and if I wasn't at work, where I know I was putting in a poor performance, I was at the bar. She was a bartender," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "I barely knew her, and when I found out she was pregnant, she took off. I decided to let it be. My life was a mess. My ex-wife wouldn't let me see the kids, and last thing I needed was to be father of the year or whatever with another kid. Anyway, it's something I've kept hidden, and I'm not doing that any longer. I've been searching," he paused and looked to Provenza and Sharon. "We've been searching. These two," he gestured to them, "have been helping me. It's taken time, months," he specified, "but, I at least seem to have found her, the mother, and I found out she had a daughter. I could have a daughter. I don't know anything more, but I'm going to find out. I'm going to Alaska where I have the last known address."_

 _Mike, who already knew the basics from his talks with Andy and Provenza, spoke up first. He didn't even let on he knew more, "Andy, we're here for you, whatever you need. I'm glad you found her." Mike smiled at Andy, and he looked to the rest of the team._

 _"_ _Sir, everyone has a past," Julio said quietly. "We all have things we'd rather not discuss. I hope your daughter is what you imagine. Regardless of the circumstances, never be ashamed of acknowledging you have a kid."_

 _"_ _Thanks," Andy said with a slight nod. He made eye contact with Julio, but before he could say more, Buzz jumped in too._

 _"_ _Lieutenant, be safe," Buzz nodded to him. "Alaska is going to be cold this time of year."_

 _"_ _You don't say! Tell me about it," Andy rolled his eyes slightly and nodded. He didn't want to convey his total annoyance with Buzz's comment, but he was feeling it. He kept his emotions in check and tried to calm down by taking a deep breath._

 _"_ _Wait, you're going to Alaska?" Amy asked pointing to Andy. She'd listened too, and everyone turned to her, knowing her mind had something else there to discuss. She then quickly looked to Provenza, "Oh, please, please tell me you're taking the lieutenant with you? The two of you in Alaska-that has story after story after story written all over it. Captain," she grinned looking at Sharon, "did you approve that? Please tell me we'll get to hear about the two of them in Alaska."_

 _"_ _Sykes, seriously? You think I'd go there?" Provenza said in jest as he looked at her horrified now. "You of all people, my desk companion, should know there are many things I don't do. I don't run," he said ticking off things on his fingers. "I don't eat healthy things. I don't pay full price for a steak buffet. I don't leave an all you can eat buffet in less than an hour. I don't remarry my ex-wives, well," he made a disgusted face and rolled his eyes, "not anymore, and I certainly don't travel to Alaska of all places. Let's just clarify that I don't travel anywhere the high temperature for the day is below freezing."_

 _The team all started to laugh quietly, and Andy scowled at Provenza, folding his arms over his chest. He smirked at him, and before he could answer, Sharon did._

 _"_ _Lieutenant Provenza will be staying here to hold down the fort," Sharon explained, folding her hands together on the desk. She made eye contact with each member of the team as she continued, "I will be accompanying Andy on this trip. We all thought it was for the best."_

"Andy," his head snapped up, and he shook it, trying to snap out of his memory. He had been sitting there at the gate dozing, waiting for their flight. Sharon had been on the phone with Provenza, and that had given him time to try and relax. He didn't realize just how exhausted he was. The search and all the stress that came with it had caught up with him. He looked to Sharon, not convinced that her coming along with him was for the best. Things were awkward between them; they had been awkward for some time now. That rather infamous discussion they were supposed to have had about Paul and whatever other guys she may or may not be sleeping with, had not happened. Andy's feelings for Sharon wavered between wanting to take her to bed and not surface for days to wanting to pretend they'd never started their arrangement. Now, he was stuck traveling with her the next week, and while she was a good friend, he hated looking at her, thinking about the creep Paul being with her.

"Sorry, what? I think I was dozing," he frowned.

"They just said they will begin boarding in another 15 minutes. I'm going to use the restroom and get a bottle of water. Need anything?" Sharon asked, her eyes searching his.

"No, I'm fine," he waved. "I've got a headache. I'm going to just sit here."

"Oh," she said a little surprised. "I can get you something for that headache."

"Just a water is fine," he waved, trying to hold back his frustration. He really didn't want to get into an argument with Sharon here. She was trying to help. His feelings were his own, and he had no right to blow up at Sharon. He also really didn't want a water, but he knew Sharon would continue to ask how she could help if he didn't suggest something."

"I'll be back shortly," she said quietly and stood, patting his hand as she stood. He nodded, and when she stepped away, he closed his eyes. He had a range of emotions going on inside his head. The problems with Sharon took up just a small fraction of those emotions. He was also disgusted with himself for this entire ordeal-finding Michelle and Sarah, sleeping with Sharon like he had-all of it. He was excited too because, regardless of the situation, he did have a daughter out there, one he hoped to find and meet. He was nervous and excited. He was also prepared, prepared that this could go badly, that he could find nothing at all or he could find her and find she wanted nothing to do with him. Andy looked up when he felt some movement and realized people were starting to get nervous about boarding. He didn't fly a lot, but it always made him laugh, how people would start to stand and crowd toward the boarding area, like doing that would get them on the plane any faster or would get the plane in the air any faster. He had coined them "Standers" and laughed as he watched the crowd start to form, just standing there around the podium. No announcement had been made about boarding yet, but the standers were there, ready to claim their already assigned airline seats. He must have been staring off for quite some time because Sharon soon appeared and sat down beside him again, this time with two waters.

"Here you go," she said handing it to him. He looked up and offered her a small smile, one he hoped conveyed he was glad she was here because deep down, even with the mess he was in, he was glad Sharon was here.

"Thanks," he nodded as she put her bottle of water into the side pocket of her bag. "The flight is six hours, right? Isn't that what you told me?"

"Yes," she sighed, nodding. "Sorry for the late night and all, but it seemed to be the best flight." Sharon had taken care of booking all their travel arrangements. It was easy for her to do; she could remove emotion from the situation. Andy had been preoccupied with other things, and she'd been glad to have a distraction to deal with their travel. "I opted for the direct flight, no layovers for a few reasons. One," she explained, "I knew you hated layovers. I do too. Two, the layovers weren't even practical. One was in Denver, one was in Salt Lake, and one was in Seattle, which, granted, is on the way, but that layover was an additional five hours. I also booked this one because I figured it saved us a day from work. I know it's not ideal to fly overnight, but we were able to work and come to the airport after a full day. Provenza had no trouble dropping us off, and we can hopefully get some sleep on this plane. I'm just sorry it lands at 3:30 in the morning. I feel like we won't be able to get a full night of sleep regardless of what we do, and while it seemed silly to book a hotel for part of a night," she sighed, "I thought we could regroup before we start our drive. So, maybe after we get to the hotel, we can ask for a late check out and get some rest. I'm hoping that will work. It's only a few hours then to Seward, of course, weather and road permitting."

"Yeah, I haven't thanked you for taking care of all the arrangements," he turned slightly to face her, a soft smile on his face. "I do appreciate it, Sharon, not to mention you coming with me. I hope it's not too horrible, having Rusty stay there with Provenza."

"I fed him salad and fish last night, knowing he wouldn't eat anything remotely healthy for the next week," she chuckled.

Andy chuckled too, and then, he turned to look at her, "I'm sorry I lost the kid's trust over this. I was afraid it would happen. He'll never look at me the same."

Sharon frowned and reached over to squeeze his hand, "You didn't lose his trust. Is he disappointed? Yes, I won't argue he's not. He is. We had a long conversation about how everyone makes mistakes. You haven't lost his trust, Andy. He's just a little shocked. He knows you are still the great person he's gotten to know over the last couple years, and it will just take him a little time to realize that even people we care about can do something to disappoint us, but that doesn't mean our opinion of them changes. I have a feeling he and Lieutenant Provenza will discuss this quite a bit this week."

Andy nodded and dropped his head, sighing. He thought back to that conversation, that truly awkward conversation he'd had a week ago with Rusty, the same night he'd told the team. He'd asked Sharon if he could come over to talk to Rusty, and she'd agreed, suggesting he bring a pizza. Andy had stopped by an hour after Sharon got home, meat lover's pizza in hand. He'd brought a second one, a veggie, to share with Sharon. After they had dished out the pizza and sat down, Andy looked to Rusty.

 _"_ _Kid, I wanted to talk to you tonight," he said, his eyes locked on Rusty. He was sitting across the table from him with Sharon at the head of the table._

 _"_ _Oh?" Rusty asked, eyeing the two of them. "Wait, is this like some intervention? What did I do now? Oh, don't tell me my mom has done something now. What's going on?"_

 _"_ _Rusty," Sharon said sweetly, her hand gently passing over Rusty's. She nodded to Andy, "Andy came here to talk to you. Why don't we let him explain."_

 _"_ _So, here's the deal-" Andy started to explain._

"I assume you are in Group 3 to board?" Sharon leaned toward him, trying to look at the ticket in his hand. He sat up and looked to his ticket. It was almost as if Sharon knew his mind was wandering and continued to pull him back to reality.

"Yeah," he sighed, again, trying to snap out of his daze. "Are we sitting together?" Andy looked to her, looking for her ticket. She nodded.

"I booked our tickets together, yes. I figured it was either sit with me or sit with someone else who will drive you crazy the entire flight," she said with a slight smirk. "My ticket is in my bag," she said as she pulled it out to study it. "I'm not sure which of us has the window or which has the middle seat. I'll take the middle seat. I tried to book the aisle, but they were all taken since we booked late."

"It's fine," he waved. "I'll take the middle. This is all my doing, my mess, and there's no way I'm going to ask you to sit in that uncomfortable middle seat for six hours."

Sharon rolled her eyes, "Because putting you there, when you are taller and bigger than I am, is a good idea? Just let me know if you want to switch around during the flight. I don't mind."

"I'm hoping I'll be able to get some rest," he told her. "It would be great to get rid of this headache, and with as busy as we're going to be driving all over the state of Alaska, we both need to get some rest."

"You realize compared to the size of the state, we're only driving over a very small portion, correct?" Sharon eyed him. She'd been reading up, studying, Alaska, mainly because she was a little concerned about driving all over the place in the middle of winter. She'd driven in snow before; he'd driven in snow before, but neither had ever been in conditions they were expecting to see.

"I mean, I looked at the map, yeah" he nodded. "Looks like we are staying south, mainly down the coast. Hopefully, the weather won't be too bad. I really owe you, Sharon," he glanced at her. "You set up all of this, made of list of clothing and things we'd need, and you really did a lot. I can't repay you."

"Happy to help," she said, her eyes briefly meeting his as she squeezed his arm. They both looked toward the podium where the announcements were starting about the flight. They spent the next 15 minutes boarding the plane, and finally, both were seated. Their aisle seatmate had not arrived yet, and Andy continued to scan the passengers, trying to figure out who might be stuck sitting with them. Sharon pulled a light blanket out of her bag, and Andy turned to her, eyeing it.

"You're really prepared," he nodded to it.

"I'll share," she offered. "It's large enough for both of us."

"Wouldn't want to get too cozy," he fired back, his short temper starting to get the worst of him. Before he could think about what he was saying, he continued, "I know Paul isn't on this trip, but I'm aware you and I can't complicate things more by sleeping together again. That ride is over, even if you tell me you're okay juggling two of us, maybe more. Paul has taken over that place I held. Sharing a blanket on the plane wouldn't be a good idea, at least for me. Save it for Paul and your next friendly night together." Sharon's eyes flew open; Andy had been talking much louder than he realized, and even out of the corner of her eye, she saw some heads turn in their direction.

"Andy!" Sharon snapped, her face red from embarrassment.

"I can't stand it, Sharon! I have tried to just keep quiet, but it's killing me. I hate you are sleeping with that guy. I hate I ruined what we had going. We were great together, and I was stupid. Sure, I didn't expect you to wait around on me, but I hate that you've put some other guy in my place. I want us to be the best of friends like we were. You are too good to me, but I'm admitting that I'm having serious trouble. I can't look at you without wanting you, wanting what we used to have. Our chemistry was great. I have no right to say this, but there you go. Chalk it up to the tremendous stress I'm under. Sure, I look like just some pond scum here, admitting all this now. It's been festering far too long, almost like a volcano ready to blow. Well, I'm going off now! I need all this out there before we start this mess of a trip. Let's go there for a second-you, my boss and the woman I wish I was still sleeping with-have moved on. You're trying to still be my best friend; I want that too, but you're doing a better job than I am. You, this woman I very much enjoyed sleeping with and have this great chemistry with too-have agreed to come and help me find the long-lost daughter I just admitted to having. Let's not forget I had her with some bar waitress I barely knew after my marriage imploded over alcohol. My first two kids were kept from me, and this random woman I knocked up took off too. You'd think I would learn, but nope. I still want women, really just a woman," he looked to her and shook his head, "and she's sleeping with another man."

Sharon was mad now; Andy was irate, throwing his hands in the air as he spoke. Neither, anymore, were paying attention to where they were or who was around them. All of their frustrations for the last few weeks, few months, seemed to surface right there on the plane.

"You're so jealous!" Sharon exclaimed, now gesturing with her hands. "You can't even stand it!"

"I know! I've been telling you that all along! I thought I could handle it, just being friends again. I've told you over and over I know I'm the one who screwed up our arrangement. It's killing me Sharon. I hate trying to imagine you with this creep, Paul, when he probably isn't a creep, and I just-" he sighed and ran his hand over his face. He glanced up and saw the older couple in front of him had turned to watch the encounter. He just closed his eyes to shut out everyone.

"Andy! Paul is over and has been!" Sharon hissed. "Two times! I slept with him two times. That's been it. All of this time, sure," she shrugged, "I didn't tell you it was over. I couldn't stand it, I mean," she shook her head and continued, "I didn't like being with him. I hated it, the way I felt. It was nothing like I felt being with you, and I couldn't admit that to you. I wouldn't admit that to you. I knew you were trying to patch up things with Sandra. Then, when you said it was over with her, you told me about this mess, and I just," she sighed. "It was easier to focus on your daughter than anything else. Something was off with Paul, not him, but sleeping with him. It wasn't fun and familiar," she said pursing her lips, finally looking at him. Andy's eyes had widened, and he sat there with his mouth hanging open. "I was so sure I wanted to be free and independent, no strings attached. I thought that I was finally divorced and ready for whatever man I wanted. Problem is I'm not; I don't like other men, Andy. I even wondered if it was just Paul. I tried going out one evening, this classy bar, and I couldn't even stand the idea there of picking up some random man. It's not the men; it's me. I only enjoyed sleeping with you, but you are in too much of a mess to even discuss this now, which is ironic we are discussing it right now!"

Andy's eyes were still wide, and he continued to stare at her. A quick glance around told him that others felt the same way. The older couple in front of him was still staring at them, and by now, he could tell some guy had joined them in their row. He couldn't deal with him right now; he was focused on facing Sharon.

"All this time, you could have told me you weren't sleeping with him anymore. Even when we slept together recently, you led me to believe you were juggling two of us." He looked to the older couple when he was sure he heard them gasp. He frowned at them and reached for his pocket, pulling out and flashing his badge at them, "Would you mind? LAPD and I'm dealing with something."

"Just great, Andy," Sharon said, sighing. "We're off duty now. What, do you really think flashing your badge right now is going to do anything? Are you going to interrogate them? They're a witness to this disaster, not some criminal!" She was now getting more and more irritated with him; the feeling appeared to be mutual.

"Interrogating them would be better than what you would do with them! With your past, you could write them up for staring or eavesdropping! You're well-versed in write-ups for officer involved incidents. Quite the play on words, Captain. Officers involved with each other creating incidents more like it!" Andy said, now raising his voice. The older couple just continued to look at them, shocked to be in the middle of a type of domestic dispute. "What? Is it that shocking I'd sleep with her?" Andy glared at the couple. "She might be my boss, but that has nothing to do with all of this. She's a good friend, an amazing person, or she was before she led me on, believing one thing when it wasn't true!"

"Sir, Ma'am, everything okay here? We're about to take off?" Both turned to see a flight attendant standing there, looking very concerned at their interaction. Andy and Sharon schooled themselves and nodded to her. "We won't take off if we have passengers causing problems."

"Sorry, we're fine, just getting some things off our chest before the six-hour flight," Andy smirked but then held up his hand in apology. The flight attendant gave them both a look and a nod before she continued up the aisle, turning back to look at them when she was another two rows away. Sharon looked up at her and gave a single nod and then closed her eyes.

"We're going to get kicked off this plane," Sharon hissed.

"All because you drop the bomb on me Paul is history," Andy shook his head. "When were you going to tell me that, Sharon?"

"Not on this trip," she said quickly. "You continue to obsess over him, and I'm so tired of it. I need it to be over. There you have it, Andy. I hated sleeping with Paul, and the only reason for that seems to be that he wasn't you. Nothing about him was like you."

Andy sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against the headrest. Sharon sat there, staring forward, her arms crossed. Andy could still feel people looking at them, listening to the privates details of their lives they'd chosen to blast all over the plane. He sighed as he thought about what more he wanted or needed to say.

"So, all this time," he finally said, dropping his voice as he started to calm down, "I tried things with Sandra, and you tried sleeping around-we end up back here. All you would have had to say last time we slept together was that it was over with Paul. I would have had no problem with it. I've told you that with you, I can't explain it. Are you telling me you want to sleep with me as much as I want to sleep with you?"

"I'm telling you I'm not sleeping with Paul, and I really want you to stop discussing it. That was a mistake, one I learned from and won't repeat again. While I thought that was me, someone who could just enjoy a man's company for an evening, it's not. I can't just sleep with random men," Sharon said shaking her head.

"You said you were okay sleeping with me," he gestured. "What's the difference?"

"You aren't random, Andy," she said, letting out her breath slowly. She put her hand up to her face, and the two were quiet for a few moments while the safety announcements were played over the television screens. During that time, the two were able to calm down, and as it appeared the show was over, people turned back to their own seats. Finally, after all of the safety briefings and an announcement from the cockpit, the plane backed up slightly. Sharon turned her head to look out the window, and Andy, quietly spoke.

"We have six hours on this plane," he grumbled.

"Hmm," Sharon hummed, not looking at him.

"I'm not judging you for sleeping with him," Andy said to her. "I'm frustrated, mad, that you slept with him and then didn't tell me it was over. I've been upfront with you about Sandra, about women in my past. I just hoped you'd have the same courtesy. We have this whole week in front of us," he gestured.

"We do," Sharon nodded quietly, still not looking at him. "That is precisely why I didn't want to dig up this right now. I was fine just not addressing it."

"I wasn't fine sleeping with you again, thinking I was one of many, Sharon. Sorry, but I wasn't. I am sure that sounds like it's my problem, something I shouldn't worry about, but I did; I do. I care about you too much. There, I'm admitting it," he explained.

She continued to look out the window, "That IS the problem."

"What's the problem?" Andy asked, leaning toward her. He heard her sigh and saw her shake her head. "Sharon, we go from hot and heavy to nothing. I get that I hurt you with that, whether you want to admit it or not. You tried to replace me, and it sounds like you couldn't. I'm not trying to pump up my ego, but you couldn't find a guy who made you feel like I did. Well, right back at you. You made me feel things I've never felt, and I'm not ashamed to tell you. Sure, better planning so it wasn't on a six-hour plane trip to Alaska with all these idiots would have been better. Just admit it, Sharon. We're killing ourselves here trying to be irritated with each other, when really, we know how good we are together."

Sharon finally turned and met his gaze. She started to say something, but she stopped herself. She pursed her lips and shook her head again. They sat there, just looking at each other for a few moments, and then, the plane started moving quickly down the runway. Finally, she said, "Let's focus on the flight."

Andy groaned and rolled his eyes before he looked at her again, "Seriously? All of that came out as we're taking off? We want each other, yeah," he waved his hand at her, "I see it, even if you won't say it. We want each other, but we're stuck here on a plane for six hours! Six! You're killing me, Sharon."

Sharon just eyed him as he spoke, and when he finished, she lifted the corner of the blanket again and offered it to him, "My offer still stands to share the blanket."


	31. Chapter 31

He was still irritated; yes, he knew he should let it go and move on, but that's just how he felt. He glanced at her, no, really, he glared at her while they stood at the baggage claim and wondered how she looked so calm and collected. Really, she looked great. No one should look that good after a six-hour flight, after basically missing a night of sleep, but she did. She stood there, probably aware he was glaring, but she didn't look at him. She continued to hold her purse and other bag in her hands dangling there in front of her legs. He shook his head and sighed again.

"All this time?" Andy turned to her again, not able to hold back any longer. He'd tried. Really, he had. He'd about lost it again on the plane, but he'd quickly realized that the last thing they needed was an emergency landing somewhere because of a domestic dispute. That wouldn't go well. Besides, he'd almost said something to her on the plane; she had been quietly staring at the dark night sky for too long, and when he had turned to her, he was surprised to see she was asleep. That subtle shift he'd made, caused her head to roll toward him, and she spent the next hour dozing on his shoulder. In a way, it was hard to get mad at her, but here he was, six hours after their major blowup, and he was still irritated.

Sharon looked up and let out a long sigh. She shook her head. Andy continued, now gesturing.

"I thought we were friends, Sharon, honest with each other. You called it off with this guy, and you didn't have the decency to tell me, not after you and I slept together recently, and I was worried about being just another guy in the mix?"

"It was two times, Andy! It was hardly some relationship or agreement. The first time, yes, I was hopeful it could just be a thing, something easy like I had with you. It was awful, nothing like I envisioned. The second time was my attempt to see if I was inside my own head, really to see if I just had these expectations. It wasn't him; it was me. It wasn't what I wanted. Falling back into bed with you," she pursed her lips and shook her head, turning away to the baggage carousel. Andy stood there, waiting for her to finish.

"Was? Was it a mistake? Was it to compare notes?" Andy pestered. "I'm trying to figure this out!"

Sharon spun toward him, aware the same people from the plane were standing nearby. Thankfully, the two were a little off to the side where they had some privacy, "If you don't drop this right now, I'm going to get on the first plane back to Los Angeles!"

Andy looked at her, seeing the fighting spirit she often had at work when being challenged by an officer. When normally at work, he used to fight back to an extent, knowing she could really cause trouble with his job, the two had a vastly different relationship now. In addition to that, they weren't currently at work, and they weren't discussing work. They were alone, in a different state, and discussing very private, personal matters.

"Go ahead," he challenged her, gesturing toward the ticketing area upstairs. "Go," he shrugged. He narrowed his gaze at her, "You won't get back on that plane. You and I both know it. I'll take your challenge, Sharon. It's just you and me here, in this ridiculously cold place, and you won't leave. Go, though," he said again. Andy crossed his arms and stared at her, daring her to move.

Sharon turned and glared at him, returning the same motion, crossing her arms. That glare almost gave him chills; he'd seen it before. It had been years now, but he knew it. He wanted to shudder, but he held his gaze back at her, challenging her. She continued to glare at him, but finally, she rolled her eyes, "You get the bags; I'll go get the rental car."

Andy wanted to gloat; he wanted to smile, but instead, he gave her a single nod, "I'll see you at the rental counter."

Sharon turned quickly and walked away. She was irritated too, but she had a different way, a silent way of showing it. As much as she was glad to be on this trip, right now, she needed to be alone. These few moments were desperately needed after their outburst on the plane. She felt people staring at her the entire flight, and as badly as she wanted to get up to walk around a bit and use the restroom, she'd refused. Her bladder was now paying the price, and the first stop after she was out of Andy's eyesight was the bathroom. She'd almost felt like getting up when he'd offered her the chance to do that was letting him win, which was silly. Yes, she knew she should have explained everything much earlier, certainly after they'd slept together this last time. He had asked about her status many times, and while she wasn't required to inform him of anything, she wanted to tell him. She felt the need to tell him. Why? She'd gone over that in her head many, many times. Truth be told, she only wanted to have him in her bed. That was the plain and simple truth. There was a familiarity with Andy, a level of comfort she didn't have with any other man. Could she find it? She'd thought so, thought that what the two had was nothing more than a good time. She'd tried to find that. Sure, she could have tried to take other men to bed, even thought about it, but in the end, she didn't want to do that. She wanted him, with her, and as relieved as she was to hear he hadn't slept with Sandra, she knew she owed him her story. She just hadn't wanted to go there, to share it. In a way, she almost hated sleeping with another man, even though she and Andy had no agreement otherwise. Internally, though, she was struggling because she had realized after all this time, she wanted him to herself. This still wasn't a relationship; it was physical, but even that, she knew she was kidding herself. The two couldn't handle more right now. She knew it, and she had a feeling Andy knew it deep down. They could handle the physical; they wanted the physical aspect. Bottom line, though, was that she didn't want him with anyone else, and while she couldn't voice that to him right now, she also couldn't voice that she, too, didn't want to be with anyone else. Maybe it was an odd, twisted relationship of sorts. This wasn't the time to figure that out.

She could see him walking toward her out of the corner of her eye 20 minutes later while she was still at the rental car counter. Thankfully, when booking, she'd found a company open 24 hours. Many up here were not, closing at 1:00 AM. Because it was the only company currently open and two other flights had come in, the line had been long, but she'd just reached the counter. She continued to pretend she hadn't seen him, but noted he walked right up next to her.

"How are they the only ones open at this hour? It's 3:30 in the morning. Wouldn't you think with this many flights coming in at odd hours, other companies would be open? Who comes to Alaska in the winter?" Andy continued to ramble, and Sharon just hummed, nodding as she looked to the agent helping her with her search.

"Okay, you literally got the last SUV," he looked to them with a small smile. "Had you been the next one in line, I wouldn't have anything to give you."

"Can you tell me how people, then, are able to reserve a certain class of car when they aren't available anymore?" Andy asked the man. Sharon groaned. He was spurring for a fight with someone, anymore, Sharon really, but she had a feeling this guy, this innocent man helping with their rental, was about to get the brunt of it.

"I, I, I just work here, at the counter," he pointed to the screen. "I have no idea what the system does. Sorry," he said with a small smile. Sharon turned to Andy, hoping to get his mind on anything else.

"Were you able to find the bags?" she asked, looking behind him for their luggage. It wasn't there, but he had his soft case, briefcase strap slung over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I got them," he hooked his hand behind him. "What? It's like a half-mile walk here from baggage claim. You think I'd come all the way here if I didn't have the bags?"

"Who's the primary driver for the vehicle?" the man asked, drawing their attention toward him. Sharon pulled out her license and handed it to him.

"I'm fine with that," she said, nodding. Andy fumbled for his wallet, wanting to do the same.

"I'll drive," he grumbled. "I don't mind."

"Spouses aren't extra on this policy," he said with a hopeful smile.

"Oh, we're not married, not at all," Sharon said shaking her head. Andy rolled his eyes and handed over his license too.

"Put both of us on it, whatever you have to do. I'll pay the extra. She's my colleague; we're here working on something."

"That's how you introduce me?" Sharon said, now irritated herself as she turned slightly to him. "Colleague?"

"Correction," Andy smirked at the guy and continued with a gesture at Sharon. "She's my boss."

"Oh, good grief," Sharon sighed, putting her hands on her head there on the counter. The guy working just eyed them and got back to work without saying more. He typed away while the two stood there, the tension still mounting.

"Okay, you are all set," he said, handing their licenses and insurance information back to them. "Here's the key. You can walk through there to the parking garage, and the car you have is listed there," he pointed to the paperwork. "Need anything else?"

"This car wouldn't happen to have that chauffeur glass, you know," Andy gestured, "like one of us in the front, one in the back, put up the glass, and we don't have to talk?"

"Let's go," Sharon swung her hand to the parking structure. She looked back at the man working, "I apologize. Long day, and you don't need to be in the middle of our drama. Andy, I'm heading to the hotel."

Andy flashed a smile at the guy, and he had to almost run to catch up with Sharon. She'd grabbed her bag and started to the car with the paperwork. He jogged up beside her, which was still tricky with all the luggage they'd brought.

"How far is the hotel?" Andy asked.

"It might be a long walk if you keep it up," she stated in a flat tone. He sighed and rolled his eyes. The two didn't have to walk far, and they quickly loaded the bags. Sharon, who had the key, got in the driver's side. She started the car and typed something into her phone.

"Need me to navigate?" Andy asked.

"I don't need you for anything," she said with a bitter tone. She sighed and nodded to her phone, "Can you handle two miles? The hotel is two miles away."

"Perfect," he grumbled. "After that tight space on the plane, I want to fall into bed. Can we finish our conversation now?"

"I'm sorry," she smirked as she headed for the exit. "I thought you might want to wait until we were in the middle of the continental breakfast, with an audience to continue any conversation. As far as I'm concerned, we're done with the conversation. Nothing more needs to be said; I think we've aired our dirty laundry for probably half the state of Alaska."

"I told you that you could get right back on that plane," he gestured back to the airport. "I'll be fine doing this search alone."

"Really?" she looked to him while they waited in line to exit the parking structure. "What hotel are you staying at tonight? What about the drive and lodging for the rest of the trip?"

"Fine, I never said you weren't helpful, that you hadn't booked everything. I really appreciate you doing that. Like other things, though, you didn't clue me in on the details."

"I can't do this again," she sighed. The two were quiet while she handed over the paperwork, and finally, they were on their way. Andy looked around as they drove out of the airport.

"Wow, there's a lot of snow on the ground," he said.

"It is Alaska in the winter," she told him.

"I know, but I also know that where we are going, down to Seward, they get less snow than here. I guess I just haven't seen snow in awhile. This car is freezing! What is the temperature?" Andy said, rubbing his hands together.

"It's currently -12," Sharon said, sighing. "High tomorrow, or I guess later today, is 4. It's not that cold, at least for here. Further north, I saw that the temperature tomorrow is supposed to get down to -27."

"27 degrees below zero?" Andy asked, shocked. Sharon nodded.

"The weather was on the television there by the rental counter. Yes, the interior gets much colder. It's mild, by Alaskan standards, here by the coast. "Even that," she said, "is not as cold as it gets. I looked up a lot about the weather before we got here. Here's the hotel," she pointed to where they were staying. Andy just nodded, and the two, who were both exhausted, were quiet while she parked.

"I can check in," he said, almost jumping out of the car, wanting to have some space from her.

"Two rooms," she commented, as she hummed. She started to put the paperwork away there in the car.

"Two?" Andy said, turning back to her. "I thought you told me you'd just booked one room, two queen beds, for this night because we're already getting in at 4:00 in the morning."

"I added another room while at the rental counter," she said in a matter of fact tone. She looked to him, her expression blank, "I think we could use our space, hmm?"


	32. Chapter 32

A room had never looked so depressing. Nothing against the hotel, because, it wasn't the hotel's fault. The room was fine, honestly. Sharon didn't book dingy, cheap motels from what he knew of her and tonight was no exception. He sank down onto the bed and let out a long sigh, wondering why things had gone so badly today. He knew why, but it didn't change the fact that he'd had expectations of a much more pleasant trip here with Sharon, and so far, it was terrible.

He knew he was mostly to blame, mostly. He felt like Sharon was holding back, playing some sort of cat and mouse game with him. That was beside the point because right now, he needed to make amends for his terrible behavior. Andy knew he didn't have the right to blow up at her like he had, especially in such a public place. His emotions were running high for so many reasons. Sharon did that to him; he cared for her so much and realized awhile ago he wanted what he couldn't have. This trip, it wasn't exactly a walk in the park, a winter wonderland adventure. No, it was something that could go terribly wrong; he was prepared for it to go terribly wrong, but yet, in the gut of his stomach, it was something he knew he had to do, regardless of the outcome.

Andy knew he needed to do something. He hated the way things were with Sharon now, really on several levels, but tonight, or this morning-whatever time it was-he hated it was like this. They'd parked, walked inside, gotten their rooms, and they'd ridden the elevator together. She was across the hall from him, yet, on one level, she had never felt further away. Andy shook his head and stood. He needed to get ready for bed even though he'd missed most of the night. A quick glance at his clock told him it was now already almost 5:00 AM; he'd been awake for 24 hours. The lack of sleep wasn't helping with his clarity. He opened his bag and pulled out his toiletries. He really wanted to shower, but he was too focused on his current predicament. After brushing his teeth and at least washing his face, he walked to the bed and sank into it. The room was now nice and dark. He tried to close his eyes, knowing sleep was right there for him. A few moments later, he knew he would dwell on this until he did something about it. He reached over to the nightstand, and seconds later, he heard the phone dialing; he just hoped she would answer.

"Something wrong with your room?" she answered the phone.

Andy sighed loudly and ran his hand over his face, "No, my room is fine; something is wrong with my attitude."

The line was silent, and it remained that way longer than he wanted. Andy almost asked if she was on the other line, but instead, he continued, "I'm sorry I called and bothered you. I know you're trying to sleep. I just couldn't let that go unsaid. I'm sorry, Sharon. I'm sorry for so much. Of all the things I thought could go wrong today, this was worse. I wanted to tell you that. You need to hear it, and I am sorry. I'm going to do better on the trip, and I'm glad you came. There's no one else I want with me on this trip."

Andy heard Sharon sigh, and he was grateful she was still on the phone. She cleared her voice, and finally, she said something, "I'm sorry, too, Andy. Today, we didn't need that. It seemed to be a lot of frustration, coming from every angle, blowing up on us today in a very public setting. I'm sorry. I'm not innocent in this. It's not even that I felt we owed each other anything or any sort of explanation, but I am not proud of how I've handled things. I've wanted to tell you-I really have, but," she paused and let out her breath again.

"We don't have to rehash any of this," he said. "Let's try to move forward, which for me, is easier said than done," he admitted. "Look, I just want it to be us, Sharon and Andy. We have fun together. We enjoy talking to each other. I miss you. I miss that. We could have had six hours of peaceful bliss on that plane today, but I ruined it."

"Peaceful bliss?" Sharon asked. Andy had to smile at that. In a way, this was her attempt to move forward, teasing him about something he'd said. He knew her behavior.

"As peaceful as it could be, riding on a cramped plane to parts unknown in the dead of winter," he offered. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I caused a huge scene, and it was wrong. I embarrassed you, embarrassed both of us, and I put our personal business out there for anyone to see. I even said things I don't mean about your job. I hope you can forgive me."

"I'll forgive you," she said with ease. "I have forgiven you. I would have walked away a long time ago if I had any question about your character, Andy. I know how you get. I know how I get. I shut down. You continue to dig. It's what makes you a good detective, just as my silence makes me a good one. You act; I listen. I'm sorry I wasn't more forthcoming with everything. I didn't know how to tell you, when to tell you, and at the same time, I felt like my life was my life, just as yours was yours. The problem is that our lives have made twists and turns, pairing with each other at different points. You were honest with me about Sandra, yes. I know I don't have to owe you anything in return, even as much as you argued it today, but the fact is, I haven't given you any clarity, not until now. Our arrangement before was between us, no others. When you wanted to end it, we did. Recently, I expected you to just get back into bed with me without any explanation as to what my plan was, what my intentions were, just telling you to trust me, and you did, but yes, that left things in limbo. I realize I want to, maybe even need to, give more to earn that trust. I'm trying."

"Thanks for saying that," he grumbled. "I think we've made a mess of things."

"It's so late," Sharon sighed. "Let's both get some sleep talk later?"

"Okay, yeah," Andy nodded. "I'm glad we talked. I realize it's silly talking on the phone when you are across the hall, but I didn't want to start a fight in the hall. I don't want that at all. Thanks for talking to me."

"Thank you for reaching out," Sharon told him. "I wasn't ready to do that."

"Sharon," he said before hanging up, "thanks for sticking by my side, through all of this, even when I'm acting like a total jerk. See, even I try to ruin a good thing. I don't even know what to do when someone has my back; I just try to ruin that. I don't want to ruin anything with you, Sharon. I hope you know that."

"I would be on my way back to L.A. if I had any doubts, Andy," she said quietly. You should know, that from all our years working together, I believe in you, even when it doesn't seem like it-always have and always will."


	33. Chapter 33

It was almost 11:45 that morning when Sharon finally emerged from her room and ventured downstairs to the hotel's dining room area. She found Andy there, drinking a cup of coffee, and she slowly walked toward him. He glanced up as she approached.

"Morning," he said quietly, glancing to her. "Get any sleep?"

"Some," she nodded, pursing her lips. She gestured around, "Do we need to check out? I was going to stop by the desk and ask. I think check out is before noon."

Andy nodded and gestured with his hand, "I already spoke to them this morning, asked for a late check out. I explained our very late arrival, and we're okay until 1:00. They said if it was any later than that, they'd have to charge us for the rooms again."

"Oh, I'll be out by then," she said. "I wasn't sure if you were up yet. I didn't want to call or text."

Andy gestured to the seat in front of him, "Have a seat. I think they are setting up for lunch, but they definitely have coffee." He flagged down one of the waiters, and the man walked to them.

"Are you two interested in lunch?" the waiter asked. Andy eyed Sharon, wondering what she wanted to do. She frowned.

"Not yet," she said with a small smile. "I'm not sure I'm ready to eat. Our time is all off. Could I just get a cup of coffee?"

"Right away," he nodded and disappeared. Sharon pursed her lips and looked to Andy, nodding at his paperwork.

"Oh," Andy said looking down at it as he gestured to it, "just going over the packet of information."

"Studying it like a case?" Sharon asked. He gave a slight roll of his eyes while she hummed. She looked down at her sweater and picked at lint Andy didn't see. The tension was there; both could feel it.

Sharon took a sip of her coffee while Andy packed up his paperwork. He glanced at her, "So, can I apologize again, clear the air?"

Sharon sighed as she put the cup down and shook her head, "Can we just drop it, please, at least right now? I feel like we've both said our peace. I don't want to argue, and if it's okay with you, can we move on this morning?"

"Yeah," Andy nodded, repeating it, "yeah. Before the waiter comes back over here, do you want to eat here or go somewhere else?"

Sharon frowned, "I'd rather finish up here and get lunch somewhere else. I did some research before the trip. If you are interested, there are a couple of restaurants that look good, fresh Halibut."

"Oh," Andy whistled and nodded. "To be honest, I haven't thought much about anything for this trip. I've been so focused on," he paused trying to find his words, "a lot of other things, I guess. Fresh fish sounds really good before our drive. I guess we can see a little of Anchorage while we are at it?"

"Sounds good," she nodded. "I just need to get my things; I'm almost set upstairs. How long have you been awake?"

"8:30," Andy said, looking at her with an almost guilty expression. "Couldn't sleep, and I just decided to get up, shower, and come down here. I needed a good cup of coffee."

Sharon made a face, "You got maybe three hours of sleep?"

He shrugged as their eyes met, "I'll survive. Like I said, a lot on my mind."

Sharon nodded slightly and continued to sip her coffee. Andy looked over at her, trying to make small talk, which, for them, should be easy, "I hope you slept more than three hours."

"About five, five and a half," she amended, humming. "I'll be okay too. I am freezing, even though it's warm in here. I feel like my body can't get over the idea we are in Alaska."

"It's still two degrees outside, so not exactly balmy," he smirked. "Anyway, it looks like it will take us maybe three hours to get to Seward, possibly longer depending on the roads and drive. I know they don't get as much snow on the coast, but still," he nodded.

"I'm happy to drive," Sharon offered. "I've driven in snow, all those trips to see my family at their ski condo I did navigate some snow."

"Thanks, and because I'm so tired, I won't fight you on it today. I can handle snow too; it's been awhile, but I can do it. Hopefully, because they do such a good job keeping the roads clean, it won't be an issue. Still can't believe we are here."

"Yes, and it is amazing how dreary it is outside," she looked to the windows. "I know they only get a few hours of daylight in the winter, but it's odd to get used to that."

"Yeah," he nodded, looking at the windows too. "Crazy it goes from almost no sun in the winter to almost 24 hours of it in the summer. The waiter was telling me that in the summer, it can be 1:00 AM and look like 7:00 or something. That blows my mind. Now, looking outside, it feels like it should still be 7:00 AM or something."

"Let's get checked out here and find some food," Sharon suggested. "I think we'll feel a little better if we eat. After that, we can pick up any groceries we might need, something to drink, snacks," she offered. "I know we are planning to be there a couple of days. I guess I'm not sure what to say or expect."

He nodded and sighed, "Yeah, me either. I'm anxious and nervous, excited and terrified," he told her. "It feels like another world up here, and we haven't even been outside to really get a feel for it. It just feels so far away from home, from what I imagine. I still can't believe all of this."

Sharon stood, nodding at him, "I know. Hopefully, tomorrow, we'll have some answers. Today, let's focus on the next step, getting to Seward. We can spend the day driving there, at least the few hours of actual daylight," she rolled her eyes. "Are you set?"

Andy nodded and stood too, throwing some money on the table. Sharon reached for her purse, and he waved her off, "I got it. It was just coffee. I didn't even eat either. It's not exactly like they are packed in here this morning. Let's get going."

It took the two another half hour before they were out the door and warming up their rental car. Sharon leaned back as she waited, "Ahh, I never understood the need or fascination for heated seats, until now."

Andy nodded, "Surprised to find them on a rental car."

She shrugged, "I wanted a reliable car here. Now, for lunch," she said, pulling up the map on her phone, "this fish place is open year round and has great review for the fish dishes."

"I'm good," he nodded. "Let's go."

After they found the restaurant and were seated, the two took a few minutes to study the menu, both deciding on the same meal, Halibut, with steamed vegetables and rice. Andy sat back after that, and Sharon just studied him.

"You're fidgeting and nervous," she pointed out to him. "I suppose it's really hitting you that you could meet your daughter tomorrow."

"Well, now it is," he said, frowning. "I guess exactly that hadn't hit me, you know? I mean, I know we are driving down there, but Sharon, yeah," he shook his head and his eyes widened, "wow, tomorrow."

"I didn't mean to startle you," she told him.

"No, I guess I'm trying to take one step at a time. Getting here, even with everything that happened between us yesterday," he rolled his eyes and sighed. "I guess I was focused on each day, on getting here, getting to Seward, and now, yeah, I could meet her tomorrow."

"Are you prepared for the other extreme? Are you prepared that she may not be here, that you might not meet her at all?" Sharon asked, tilting her head.

Andy looked down briefly and then locked eyes on her, "I haven't thought much about that either, but yes, I know it's a possibility. I suppose now that I think about it, that is partly why you came."

Sharon pursed her lips, "I was going to come no matter what, but I know this is going to be difficult, regardless of the outcome. Meeting her will be tough, just as possibly coming to a dead end could be tough too. I want to help Andy, and I do care about you, about your journey though all of this."

Their food arrived, and the two spent the next half hour enjoying their lunch and regrouping. The day before had been taxing on both of them, and this nice lunch was just what they needed to reset. By the time they were ready to go, the two were back to their normal banter.

Sharon's phone rang as they were getting situated in the car again. She answered it before going anywhere, "Rusty," she said, glancing over to Andy. "He's out of school now."

"Hi, Rusty," she smiled into the phone. Andy sat there and started to daydream, thinking about meeting her, meeting Sarah tomorrow. It could happen. Hopefully, he could located Michelle, which, in turn, might lead him to Sarah. He tried to focus on that, wondering what she might look like now. He wondered what her life had been like. Listening to Sharon speak to Rusty, he cringed, realizing that things could be bad, just like Rusty's home life had been. It had killed Andy having to tell Rusty, having to explain that he'd fathered a child he'd never met. It was too close to Rusty's story, in ways at least. Andy had been an alcoholic, just like Rusty's mom. Andy had never met his kid, just like Rusty's dad. The difference, and he hoped Rusty saw this eventually, was that Andy was trying. He was a productive member of society, and he was trying. He cared; he was sober. He'd explained all of that to Rusty the other night when he'd come over with pizza. Rusty had been quiet, which was almost worse than yelling. At least with yelling the feelings were out, but the silent treatment, that almost haunted him.

"Andy," he heard and snapped his head to Sharon. He had been daydreaming so much that he hadn't heard her end her call. Her hand was patting his arm, and when he met her gaze, he couldn't help but smile. Her eyes-he melted looking into her eyes. She gave him a questioning gaze, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he waved his hand at her. She gave him a reassuring nod with a small smile. He shook his head again, "Rusty? He okay?"

"He's fine," she said pursing her lips again. "He said he hoped things went well. That's a start."

Andy raised his eyebrows, "That is a start. He hadn't said anything to acknowledge this at all before now."

"True," she nodded in agreement. "Remember, though, that he's staying with Provenza."

Andy chuckled, "Oh, right, so that's the junk food talking." The two got to laughing about that as they sat there in the parking lot. Sharon finally let out a long sigh.

"It truly is beautiful up here. The mountains all covered in snow," she shook her head. "I never imagined I'd travel to Alaska."

"I didn't either," he admitted. "Yeah, it's really beautiful. My mind is such a mess that I can't seem to think about much of anything. I get focused on one thing, and I block out everything else." He turned to her and pulled her hand into his, locking eyes with her. He frowned, "I am going to apologize again and admit I was jealous, really jealous," he acknowledged. "

Sharon let out her breath and looked away briefly. She tried to pull her hand, but Andy squeezed it, reassuring her. She looked to her hand and finally to him, "I want to say that I wasn't trying to make you jealous, but I'm not sure I can do that. Can I admit that it wasn't my initial intention, but that maybe, after some time, I just-" she stopped and tried to gather her thoughts.

Andy just nodded to her. He squeezed her hand again, and then, he pulled his back to his lap. Sharon's hand, she looked to it again, and finally, she raised it to push back her hair. "Okay," she cleared her throat, "shall we start this drive? Pending roads and weather, we should be there in about three hours. We can get settled for the evening, get some dinner, and plan things for tomorrow. I would say that we could finish our drive before dark, but-" Sharon gestured to the dim sky surrounding them. It was daylight right now, but even that was a stretch. It wasn't very bright, and from the weather report, they knew the sun wasn't up more than a few hours during the day. It didn't help that today it was cloudy and just all-around gloomy, almost fitting Andy's mood.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Andy admitted, grumbling. "21 years to get to now, and I almost can't stand it."

"Today," she reached for his hand, which he had on his lap and continued when he looked to her, "let's focus on the drive." She shrugged, "One day at a time, right? Today, we focus on the fact we are in Alaska. It's supposed to be a beautiful drive to Seward, along water some of the way. We can enjoy the mountains and the water. Focus on that, and we'll worry about the rest later."

He closed his eyes as he nodded. When he opened them, he squeezed her hand again, "Thanks," he gestured, "for coming with me, for all of it. You've been a lifesaver."

She hummed, and in a mocking tone said, "Yes, the fight on the plane has been my favorite part."


	34. Chapter 34

They'd switched drivers at their last stop. The drive to Seward had been going well considering all things, even the slight tension that was still surrounding the two. Conversation had been light, and they'd been stopping along the way to take pictures of the scenery, but they were losing what little daylight they still had. Alaska in the winter was a beautiful sight to see. At the last stop, just a roadside pull-off, Sharon had mentioned she was getting tired. In the absence of anywhere to get a cup of coffee, because the two had commented there was nowhere, not even a single gas station they'd seen for miles, to stop, Andy had offered to drive. Now, Sharon was relaxing in the passenger seat and realizing just how tired she was.

"Thank you for driving," Sharon said with a quick look at Andy.

Andy's eyes met her quick glance, and he gave her a small smile, "Of course, not a problem. It helps me too, takes my mind off things. Sure is beautiful, but I have to admit, I thought there would be more snow."

"Yes," Sharon nodded in agreement. "From what I read, there is a lot more snow as you travel inland. Along the coast here, it's somewhat similar to the Pacific Northwest." Sharon was interrupted from saying anything more when her phone rang. She shook her head as she tried to find it in her bag, "Rusty already called. I'm not expecting anyone," she explained and then raised her eyebrows as she glanced at her caller id. "Hi," she answered.

Andy looked over at that, noting she had a very casual tone to her voice. She hadn't answered in a professional tone, and he also noted she hadn't used a name to answer. It was hard not to listen, as she was sitting right there, next to him, and the two were in the car. He might try to turn on the radio, but that would also just bother her call, so he tried to focus on the road and tried to keep his mind from wandering as to the identity of Sharon's caller.

"That is a relief; thank you," Andy heard Sharon say and watched as she gestured in the air with her hands. He didn't know if she realized she did that a lot; he'd noticed it several times. He'd tried to let his mind wander, but that only pulled him back to her and the somewhat cryptic call she had going. "You think it will be settled soon, then? Great, thanks. Yes, I'm doing fine. It's cold, but the snow isn't bad. I'll talk with you soon."

It took everything in his power not to grill Sharon about her phone call, but he kept his mouth shut. He heard Sharon sigh, and when he let his eyes dart toward her, he saw that she was leaning back against the headrest, her eyes closed. She had her phone clutched in her hand, now resting on her leg. He must have been staring at her longer than he realized. Thankfully, the road wasn't busy, and he turned his eyes back to the road. After a few moments, he heard Sharon clear her throat.

"Gavin," she told him quietly. He looked over at her again, and this time, she had her eyes open and met his gaze. She nodded to her phone, "Gavin," she said again. "Something I haven't told you yet, partly because I didn't have clear resolution, but," she paused and took a deep breath. He saw her look down at her phone as she thought about her words. He glanced to the road and back to her again when she started to speak again, "Gavin finally heard back from Jack. I had Jack served with papers some time ago now. It's time," she nodded, pursing her lips. "This was something I needed to do for me."

"You're divorced now?" Andy's eyes widened as he looked at her. He couldn't focus, and with no one else around and a small gravel area to pull off and not completely covered in snow, he pulled to the side and hit the brake a little too much. They both lurched forward as he looked at her. "Sorry," he waved, but he gestured at her and continued, "you divorced Jack? I had no idea."

"I know," she nodded to herself. "That was my plan, what I wanted to do. It had nothing to do with you."

"Sure, Sharon," he rolled his eyes. "You've stayed married to Jack all these years. You start sleeping with me, stop, move to another guy, stop, all of that," he waved, "and what?"

"This is what I want," she pointed to herself. "I realized it was ridiculous to chase a dream, to stay tied to a man who has no regard for loyalty, honesty, or my happiness. Yes, being with you helped me see that, see that I could have more from life, but I did this for me."

"I'm not doubting that!" Andy exclaimed. "I'm shocked, surprised. I've told you about Sandra. In all that, here again, I thought we were honest with each other, and I continue to find out that you have been keeping all this. Is it me? Do you not trust me?"

"I don't trust myself with you!" Sharon said, turning toward him, gesturing, her eyes darting around quickly. "I'm not sure what to do with all of this. It was a huge step to have Gavin file my papers. I wasn't sure I could do it, and why that is, I'm not sure. Jack has been gone for years. I know that. I'm independent and strong, yet, the idea of stepping away from Jack, finally putting him behind me, it was a lot. Even now, I almost can't believe it. To answer you, I'm almost divorced. Jack isn't going to contest anything because well," she sighed and shook her head, "I have a very good lawyer who is an even better friend looking out for me. Jack is a good lawyer; Gavin is better. He threatened several things with Jack, and finally, it looks like it's almost over. Jack isn't going to fight it, and I can be untied from him, legally."

Andy sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked ahead to the open road and let things register in his mind. He looked back to Sharon, and she was also looking straight ahead. He nodded and began to speak again, "So, to clarify, this is only about you, but in all of this, you stopped sleeping with a guy because it wasn't what we had and around the same time, after 20 years, you are divorcing your husband, but it has nothing to do with me?"

"Precisely," Sharon stated, looking ahead again as she fidgeted with her hands.

"Okay," Andy said in a surprisingly calm tone. He sat back in the seat and dropped his hands. Sharon crossed her arms and looked straight ahead again. "So, Gavin is taking care of things?"

"Yes," she said quietly, nodding. "Because we were already legally separated, the paperwork isn't as lengthy. It should all be finalized sooner than later. With Jack agreeing to sign, that just makes it final; the process should be smoother now."

Andy sighed loudly, wanting to say so much more. He could feel his anxiety rising, and he wanted to yell at her for not telling him. He'd started to do that, but really, he had to drop it. She'd told him, maybe not on the timeline he'd wanted, but she had. While she was untangling herself from her Jack mess, Andy felt like this was only creating more of a mess for the two of them. On top of that, all of this information continued to pour out on this very stressful trip. He finally gestured toward her, "Look, I appreciate you telling me. I know that's been a big issue for you and is a long time coming. Do I wish you'd told me before? Yeah, I do, but thank you for telling me know. I'm trying to give you your space. Like you have said, we aren't anything, and you don't owe me anything. I guess I want to be your friend, and as such, I hope you know you can confide in me. I'm very happy, Sharon, happy that you're dropping that creep. I'm sorry I ever thought he was a friend. He helped me in my divorce, and as we both know, he's changed quite a bit. He reached for her hand, and she looked at him as he did, "You deserve to be happy, to have what you want. My first instinct, and I realize I started to act on it was to yell at you, to make this about us. I know that's not what you need. So," he nodded, "I'm glad it is working out for you, and I'll continue to be here for you."

Sharon's eyes widened as he told her that, and when he finished, she just dropped her gaze, "Thank you for saying that, for not letting this get into another fight. That seems to be all we do lately."

"We both have a lot on our plates," he admitted, giving her a small smile when she looked to him. She smiled back at him and nodded. She took another deep breath.

"I should also tell you Gavin sent me the flowers," she said, looking quickly at him. He had a confused look on his face for a moment, and she rolled her eyes. "I know you haven't forgotten, the flowers I got at work. I could feel you glaring at me all day, wondering about those. They were from Gavin, both times. I'd had him file the paperwork, and that was his way of being kind, funny even," she groaned. "I had to chew him out to stop sending me flowers. He'd joked he was going to do it each day until I was officially divorced. That was his way of being funny. He said that while Jack had never sent me flowers, he'd make up for it. I put an end to that after I realized he was serious and going to continue sending them to the office. I know you had to be speculating about that."

"Those were from Gavin?" Andy asked, his eyes widening. Sharon nodded, and he let out his breath, "Are you serious? I was about ready to find that idiot Paul and go off on him. Sharon, that drove me crazy!"

"I know," she nodded. "Look, you've said you aren't proud of your behavior; I'm not exactly either. I wanted it to bother you. While we had no agreement, I'll admit it hurt when you told me you wanted to go back to Sandra."

"Wow, yeah," Andy nodded. "If it felt anything like I've felt, I get it."

"Which is ridiculous, honestly," Sharon said throwing up her hands. "We've just been messing around, no strings, just physical. Somewhere, emotions got involved, and I think that is when we started having to deal with our spouses or ex-spouses."

Andy eyed her, "That's what you're going with there? It's all about dealing with feelings with our spouses? He shook his head, sighing, as he wanted to say more. Sharon looked to him and then crossed her arms. "I just-" he stopped and raised his hand. "Let's just leave it."

"I didn't plan for all of this to come out on the trip," Sharon told him. "The plane," she shook her head. "That was a disaster, and I had no idea Gavin would call now."

"Right, because keeping all this, throughout the trip, would have been healthy too," he admitted. "I have so many emotions right now."

"They should all be geared toward finding your daughter," Sharon said, reaching for his hand again. She looked at him, and she waited for him to look at her. "We need to just focus on our friendship, Andy, because we've built a strong one. I can't lose that."

Andy looked at her, and he brushed the hair out of her face with his free hand. His other hand was still in her hand. He started to lean toward her, but then, he put his free hand on the steering wheel and turned away from her, looking at the road, "We should get back on the road, get to Seward before it's completely dark again. We've got about an hour to go."

"Right," Sharon said, snapping her head to the road. She pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms again. "It's getting colder too."

Andy glanced again at her; the moment had passed. He shook his head and pulled back onto the road. The two were silent for a few moments, and finally, he gestured to the road, "Sorry, but I don't even know where we are going when we get to town. Again, I don't know the details. Thank you for planning it all. You said we have somewhere to stay?"

"Bed and Breakfast," she admitted in a flat tone. "Two rooms," she said quietly before offering any further explanation, "the woman on the phone explained the rooms were just that, bedrooms. I told her we weren't a couple, just friends here for work."

"Friends here for work," he repeated, shaking his head in the dim light. He didn't care if Sharon saw him doing that or not. He had known the trip would be difficult; he just had no idea the difficult part would center around Sharon.


	35. Chapter 35

It was later that night after they'd arrived at their bed and breakfast, had found some dinner, that they were both turning in for the night. It had been an exhausting couple of days. Aside from the air travel and the little sleep they'd had, the two had been dealing with an enormous amount of emotional stress. Andy had a 20-year-old secret he was trying to unravel, and to top it off, the two had been at odds with each other over their relationship or lack thereof. The last hour of the drive had been somber and quiet, and with not a lot of meal choices in the winter, the two had opted to eat right there where they were staying. Their host, Marge, had put on a pot of stew, and paired with some of her homemade bread, the two couldn't argue. She enjoyed guests, as she told them, and she loved to cook. Dinner was simple, but exactly what they needed. Now, they were getting ready for bed, both looking forward to time alone.

"Bathroom is free if you want to use it," Andy said, stepping into her room before he turned in for the evening. Sharon had left her door open, waiting for Andy to finish in the small upstairs bathroom. The bed and breakfast had three bedrooms upstairs with a shared bathroom. The house was old, charming, but old. Because it was still the dead of winter, they were the only boarders in town, and they were also taking up two of the rooms for rent. Marge lived downstairs and seemed to be happy to have the company. She'd chatted with them throughout dinner, somewhat surprised to see they were traveling together but not a couple. Sharon and Andy had discussed their story; it wouldn't be easy to show up in a very small coastal town in the middle of the winter asking questions. Word could get out quickly, and they didn't want to spook Michelle. The two had come up with a story, a plan, that they were investors from Los Angeles up here to look at property for a client. They figured that was vague enough not to raise suspicion and would allow them the freedom to look around town, inquire about things and even people. The last thing they wanted to do was let people know they were LAPD detectives here looking for someone, even if it was off the books. So, dinner had been simple, and they'd kept it vague. Marge was glad for the company and had spent most of the meal telling them about the surrounding area.

"Thank you," Sharon said in a flat tone as she dug through her bag. It was cold in the old house, and while the downstairs had a large fireplace, the upstairs only had radiators. Sharon was still cold; it was damp and cold. She was trying to dig out her warm pajamas and after she found them, she turned, startled to find Andy still standing in the doorway. He was dressed for bed, his toiletry bag under his arm, with flannel pants, slippers, and a short-sleeve t-shirt on. She let out a startled breath and clutched her things to her chest. "I didn't know you were still standing there."

"Oh," he frowned, "I didn't know if we were done talking, I mean, for the night. I guess I'll head to bed. Look, I just wanted to thank you again for coming. Had I been alone with Marge, I might have jumped on the entire story. In fact," he admitted, "I wouldn't have even found this place. I'd probably be down the street at that old motel, the one that looked like it had its best days about 30 years ago, that is if I was even able to plan all this out. I do appreciate your help."

Sharon let out a small smile at that and nodded, "You don't need to keep thanking me. Yes, life is certainly much slower here. As we noted when we drove by the police station, they aren't exactly ridden with crime here."

"Right," Andy nodded. "Well, night. Sleep well," he told her and turned to go to his room across the hall. "Listen," he said turning back to her. Sharon looked up again as she was still digging through her bag, "I hope we are okay, that we can get through this mess of ours and somehow come out as friends again, Sharon. I miss that. I hate this awkwardness, this distance between us."

Sharon signed and dropped her hand to her side, "I do too, Andy. Let's get a good night sleep and regroup in the morning. I promise I have no other secrets."

Andy raised an eyebrow at her, and he started to say something. Instead, he paused, shook his head, and he just nodded, "Me too," he finally said, although he cleared his throat, almost indicating that wasn't what he'd started to say.

"Night," Sharon said with a quick nod. "I'm going to shower and warm up."

"I've got a book to put me to sleep," he admitted. With that, he gave her a wave and stepped across the hall to his room. Sharon watched and listened, only turning back to her bag after she heard his door close. She went about the rest of her nightly routine, and when she finished in the bathroom, she stepped outside into the hallway and looked at his room. She was just two steps from his door. The light was still on. A door separated the two. It seemed odd. While only a door physically separated them, something had changed over all of this. She felt further from him than she could remember, and she didn't like it. Sharon wasn't sure how long she stood there in the hallway, her day's clothing in her hands, just staring at his door, but eventually, she moved to her room. His stayed silent the entire time. Maybe he was still reading or maybe sleep had overcome him. She needed to do the same. Clarity was needed, and she didn't have it right now.

Sharon got settled into bed and sent off a quick text to Ricky. It was late for her, even later for Ricky, but she knew her son stayed up all hours of the night. He replied quickly, "Don't freeze up there."

Sharon had to smile at that. Her middle son had a great sense of humor, and yes, she considered Rusty part of her family as her foster child. That was something she wanted to discuss with him when all things here were settled. As she tried to drift off to sleep, her mind wandered, thinking about what the new day would bring. Andy might find some answers tomorrow. He might find his daughter. He might find a lot of disappointment. Her mind continued to wander. She thought about all she and Andy had disclosed to each other now over the last couple of days. Sharon felt badly about springing things on him, telling him all of the things she'd kept private. Honestly, she hated how things had turned out and wished they'd been able to keep their original arrangement. She liked sleeping with him when it was convenient and thought he'd enjoyed it too. Their plan started to get messy with the talk of going back to Sandra. As much as she'd tried to find another man with whom she felt comfortable, she hadn't. Granted, she hadn't really looked around, but truth be told, she wanted to start things up again with Andy. He didn't seem to be in a place for that now, and she knew that. Until they figured out this mess here in Alaska, she needed to let things be. Maybe after they returned to L.A. and figured out what Andy's "new normal" was going to be she would bring up this idea again. There was a lot at stake. She knew it, and right now, she needed to be his friend, here for him on this emotional roller coaster. Her thoughts on this matter weren't some secret she was keeping from him; she'd meant it when she had said she had no other secrets. This, this was just her thinking about what she wanted for her own life.

Frustrated with just about everything and yet, unable to go to sleep, Sharon sighed in the dark room. She instantly regretted pulling her arms out from under her pile of blankets and bedding, and she quickly burrowed back into her blankets, intent on getting some sleep. She was cold, tired, out of sorts, in a bed not her own, across the hall from a man-her friend-the man she wanted in her bed, and she was frustrated on so many levels. Yes, tonight's sleep would be interesting.


	36. Chapter 36

"Are you ready for today?" Sharon finally asked when they were alone in their rental car. The two had finished breakfast, but with Marge wandering around her quaint kitchen and dining room, Sharon and Andy had been unable to discuss any details of the day. The conversation had been light, much like the night before. Now, they were ready to tackle the day, early as it was, with the darkened morning sky making it look more like evening. They'd been in the car now 10 minutes letting it warm up, but neither had said much. Both were tired, and there was still some sort of tension in the air. Sharon and Andy seemed to both feel it, but neither wanted to address it.

Andy sighed while he nodded. He looked out the window, which didn't allow him to see much. It was still dark, almost like dusk outside. He turned back to Sharon who was in the driver seat and shrugged, "Yeah, ready as I'll ever be. You have the address?" It was now after 9:00 in the morning, and it was time, time to find Michelle and maybe Sarah. Sharon pointed to her phone. I put the address in when you ran back inside for your phone. Andy had been forgetting things all morning, a sign his mind was elsewhere. Sharon pulled up the navigation.

"Oh," Sharon sat back, "it's only a few miles. I don't know why I thought it would take us longer to get there."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Andy grumbled and put his hand up to his head. Sharon looked over and then reached over, squeezing his hand. Andy looked to her when she did that, and he gave her a small smile. Nothing more was said. Sharon put the car in gear, and they started to the address, not a word between them.

"The snow we got overnight certainly makes it beautiful this morning," Sharon said a few minutes later. They weren't far from their destination, but the snow on the road was slowing traffic. The plow had been through once, but from appearances, that had been hours ago, and more snow had fallen after that. Sharon was being very careful on the slippery roads.

"It is," Andy said. "Sorry, I'm not much company this morning."

"No apology," Sharon said. "Ahh, did you sleep well? Maybe we can talk about something to keep your mind off of today."

"No, I was cold and barely slept. You?" Andy grumbled.

"Hmm, same," Sharon said. "My radiator didn't throw out much hot air. The blankets only did so much. There was a chill in the air."

Andy huffed, "There's been a chill in the air," he grumbled again, this time alluding to their interaction as well as the temperature. I'd say it was downright cold. I was freezing. I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and my feet felt like ice cubes. I ended up sleeping in my slippers. I couldn't stand my socks on my feet, just a personal preference, but I felt absurd with my slippers too."

Sharon chuckled and nodded, "I must have slept some. I didn't hear you use the bathroom, but I was bundled in my pajamas, a sweater, socks, and I wrapped up in a blanket. I wonder if we could convince Marge to turn up the heat."

"Did you see her this morning? She was in a short-sleeved t-shirt!" Andy exclaimed. "Here, I'm wearing a dress shirt, sport coat, jeans, and a coat over that, and I'm still cold. She's wandering around in short sleeves going on about how warm it is."

Sharon hummed, "I guess you get used to the cold."

"No thanks," Andy waved. "I'm good with sunny California, even if it's full of dirt bags murdering each other all over Los Angeles."

"This is the turnoff," Sharon stated as she slowed the car. There was no other traffic. They were headed back out of town again. With it being a peninsula surrounded by glaciers and ocean water, there was one way in and one way out. Neither had studied that the night before. Both had been focused on getting to town. Their minds were all over the place, and now, as Sharon sat on the two-lane road, looking to the dirt road turnoff, Andy looked around too.

"You sure?" he asked. "I mean, is this really a road? It looks like it was or is a dirt road with snow on it. I wouldn't even know it's a road without that random sign there and what looks like some kind of track."

"Snowmobile," Sharon told him. "Marge talked about those here, or snow machines as they call them in Alaska. It's a road," she gestured to the sign next to them. "Look, it points to several things down this road." Both looked at the sign, and sure enough, the road led to several things, including a boat rental, bar and grill, and several homes.

"Okay," Andy said. "Let's go ruin her day."

Sharon turned off on the road, checking to make sure their 4-wheel drive was on and working. She'd checked before they'd left their bed and breakfast, but she was a little nervous about driving over this snow. This area had not been plowed, but it looked like tire tracks and snow machine tracks had driven over it; the path was worn. They could hear the tires crunching on the snow as she slowly drove, her navigation alerting them they were almost at the address.

"I can't believe this is where she is!" Andy exclaimed as he sat forward in his seat, taking in everything. "I mean, it's like the end of the Earth here, the middle of nowhere. What in the world does she do here? It's like she was trying to hide from everyone, maybe me. I'm shocked."

"Certainly is a different lifestyle," Sharon admitted. "Sarah, if she grew up here, grew up quite differently from your kids or mine, such a different life."

"No kidding," Andy said. Sharon stopped the car when the navigation told them they'd arrived. She pursed her lips and looked at what stood next to them.

"It's a bar," Andy said, dropping his head. "It's not even where she lives. This is some bar."

"Not a large one either," Sharon said, studying the worn wooden structure. There was a small parking lot, which had not been plowed yet, and there was a boat rental company at the end of the dirt road. They'd passed a couple of log homes on the short drive back, but neither looked like full-time residences, more like fishing cabins for the summer. The tire tracks continued back to the boat rental place, but it looked closed up, from what they could tell. No lights were on, and with it being winter, they suspected this was also a summer building.

"Did she work here or something?" Andy asked. "I don't see any lights on anywhere." The sky was light enough for them to make out things around them by now, but it wasn't giving them enough daylight to really see well. Anyone home would have lights on in their homes. Nothing around them had any lighting on inside the buildings.

"I have no idea," Sharon said, shaking her head. "Maybe she worked here before. It was the last address you had, right?"

"Yeah," Andy said, now digging through the paperwork he'd brought with him. He pulled it out again and repeated the address to Sharon. She nodded and looked around again.

"It's not open. Let me go and see if it's open at all right now. It could be closed for the season," Sharon told him.

"You don't have to get out in this; I'll go check," Andy told her, but Sharon was already opening her door. Before she could respond, she closed the door and started walking quickly to the building. Andy could only watch her. She had on winter boots and a wool coat, but he could tell she was still cold. It was warmer today, five degrees so far, and Marge had said it was supposed to get to 12. Sharon moved quickly through the snow, and Andy sat there, just in shock. Nowhere in the plans did he expect to find absolutely nothing.

"Okay," Sharon said, climbing quickly into the car and closing the door. She turned to Andy, and he couldn't help but smile at her rosy cheeks. She rubbed her hands together. Her leather driving gloves obviously weren't keeping her hands that warm. "The sign on the door says the bar opens at 4:00."

"We could have come here last night if we had any idea!" Andy exclaimed. "This is just a mistake."

"No," Sharon reached over, stilling his hands. She waited until he looked at her, and she locked eyes with him, "It's not a mistake. We will come back. We're detectives, used to dead ends, used to plans changing. We can handle this, Andy; we'll adapt and return when it opens. This is why I'm here, to make sure you keep a clear head. We'll come back after the bar opens and see what we can learn. Maybe she still works here," Sharon shrugged.

"Maybe she worked here before and left, like a few years ago, when the trail seems to go cold on her," Andy grumbled.

"We'll come back," Sharon said, squeezing his hand. She gave him a small smile, "You can do this. Until then, let's drive around some, see what this quaint little town has to offer, shall we?"

Andy sighed and dropped his head, "I guess, sure. Can we get a real cup of coffee, though? That junk Marge was serving, well, she can cook, but her coffee is terrible."

"Absolutely," Sharon said with a small smile. "Let's see what we can find. It's a small town, no chain restaurants or stores, very few restaurants, but sure, let's see if we can at least get a cup of coffee."

"Right, because it's not like I can come back to this place," he hooked his hand at the bar, "and get a drink there."

"We'll come back," she said, eyeing him, her hand still on his, "and get some answers."


	37. Chapter 37

Checking out the town had taken less than an hour. That's what happened when your small town was at the end of a peninsula, surrounded by water on one side and a glacier on the other. The only road out was the way they'd drive in, and there weren't roads going off into the countryside due to the glacier. Basically, the town included a few small side streets, all roads leading to water, and less than an hour after they'd started, they'd seen just about everything there was to see. It was, after all, still winter too, so there wasn't a lot open or to do.

Sharon and Andy ended up in a very small local coffee shop, which was actually bustling with activity. By the looks of things, many were local workmen, in to get a cup of coffee in the middle of the morning to take a bite off the cold weather. Andy, who was trying to snap out of his state, offered to order them both coffee while Sharon found a place to sit. She scanned the locals, offering small smiles, while she waited on Andy. She studied him there at the counter, somewhat broken, yet determined as well. He didn't have his weapon on him like he might if he was at work, but he had his hand in the place on his hip like he did, an almost instinctive reaction. She didn't realize she had been staring at him until he glanced at her and locked eyes with her. She gave him a small smile, one he returned, and she quickly looked down and away. She glanced at her phone there on the table, not interested in what was on it, but merely as a way to pull her attention away from him.

"At least the coffee is hot and should warm us up," Andy said, appearing there at the table. He handed Sharon her cup; she'd snapped her head up to look at him, and she accepted it while he sat down across from her.

As soon as he sat, she found her hands reaching for his across the table, squeezing them in reassurance, "We'll rest up a little and head back later."

Andy gestured around them, "I look around here, locking eyes with anyone I see, possibly wondering if I'll recognize her-Michelle or even Sarah. I mean, yeah, it's crazy. I don't know anything about Sarah, but it's somewhat haunting thinking that I could lock eyes with someone and find my own eyes even staring back at me. Sorry," he waved, "I know it's stupid."

"It's not," she said as she realized her hands were still on his. She squeezed them again, "I'm glad to be here with you."

"I am too," he explained. "I was thinking about that while in line, the idea of doing this alone. I know I wouldn't be doing this, wouldn't be here. I'm sorry that my mind is jumbled, and I'm having trouble focusing. It doesn't help that I'm exhausted."

"Let's take this coffee to go then," Sharon encouraged. "I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I wasn't tired too. We should get some rest. Who know what the evening will bring? We might end up doing more work then, so best to rest now."

"Okay," he nodded as he glanced around at the locals. "There's something about this way of life," he told her. "It's simple, just so foreign to me. It's quiet here, and you really have to live off the land, know some survival skills."

"You do, but, "she gave him a small smile, "we do too, just in different ways in our line of work. Think about all you know from the job, all about living and dealing with Los Angeles. Granted, that's not a simple way of life, but there is a set of survival skills there too."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," he said with a low chuckle. Sharon stood, offering her hand to him. She nodded to the door.

"Let's go and rest up some. Maybe we can eat a late lunch before we head back to the bar," she told him. Andy nodded to her and stood, reaching for, but only squeezing her hand as he did. The two started out the door, and as Sharon walked in front of him, she felt his hand on her back, gently guiding as they walked.

The short drive back to the bed and breakfast went quickly. Thankfully, Marge wasn't there, a note on the door that she was out getting groceries. That was just fine with Sharon and Andy; they both liked Marge but wanted to not explain their early return. They'd briefly discussed telling her that they had to check on a property later in the day, which wasn't far off from the truth. The two climbed to the top of the stairs, Sharon in front of Andy. When they were both there, she turned to him, the awkwardness evident, "I suppose I'll let you get some rest."

Andy nodded, his eyes looking to the floor, "Yeah, uhhh, get some rest."

"Regroup at 2:00?" Sharon asked quickly. Andy looked up at her, trying to process what she was saying.

"Oh, sure," he said. "Night," he nodded and then groaned, "I mean, enjoy your nap."

Sharon nodded and turned; Andy turned. Both walked to their rooms, across the hall from each other, and without a word, both opened their doors. Sharon closed her door. Andy closed his. Several seconds went by, and Sharon opened her door again and jumped back when she found Andy doing the same across the hall.

"Oh, I was just going to use the bathroom," Sharon said quickly. Andy met her gaze.

"Ahh, yeah, I decided to get a glass of water," he nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. Sharon dropped her head and nodded.

"I won't bother you then," she said, giving him a quick smile before she darted to the bathroom.

Andy watched, but he turned and started down the stairs. As strange as it was, the two almost ran into each other again a couple minutes later when returning to their specified rooms. Sharon threw a small wave at Andy, and he paused at his door, his hand on the knob. He cleared his throat, and Sharon, as she was shutting the door, opened it again. Andy gave her a small shrug and smile, "I'm not sure I can sleep. I want to try, but-"

"Maybe I can help?" Sharon offered quickly. She quickly gestured with her hand, "I mean, we could just try and talk. That might help you sleep."

Andy dropped his head, trying to hide a small smile, "So, you think boring me to death by talking will do the trick?"

Sharon chuckled, "Perhaps."

"I don't really want to try and nap downstairs like on that couch of hers," Andy explained.

"Oh, I wasn't thinking that either," she said, meeting his gaze. "One of our rooms perhaps?"

"We've got several hours before we head back out. I can't promise I'll be able to sleep," he said. "All your effort could be for nothing."

Sharon pursed her lips and glanced away before she looked toward him, "I'm sure we can pass the time."

Andy looked right at her, "Your room or mine?"


	38. Chapter 38

Her eyes fluttered open, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw him smiling back at her. He moved his hand to her hair and brushed it out of her face, resting his hand on her arm. They were both lying on their sides facing each other.

"I didn't fall asleep, did I?" Sharon asked, yawning as she did. Andy grinned and chuckled quietly.

"If you weren't sleeping, what would you call it?" Andy winked at her and continued to keep his hand on her shoulder. "It looks like you had a pretty good nap to me."

Sharon sighed and cleared her throat, "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little, more than I believe I would have if you weren't right here," he admitted, running his hand up and down her arm. "Thanks for this, for just lying here talking to me. I know it helped calm me and relax me. I honestly can't remember the last time I got any sleep. I've been tossing and turning most nights for a long time. Something about just having you near me, well," he said with a small shrug as he looked at her, "it helps. You relax me."

Andy gripped her elbow, and as he did, both locked eyes. Just that simple gesture had the two move closer, and without further communication, the two met for a kiss, pressing closer to each other as it intensified. They continued to kiss, and things started to escalate, but finally, Sharon pulled back from their kiss. She let out a long sigh as she gave him a small smile, "Ahh, what time is it?"

"Oh, geez, yeah," Andy said as he pulled his watch up to look at it. "It's almost 2:30. I didn't even realize it was that late."

"We slept longer than we thought," she said again smiling at him. She moved her arm to his and ran it up and down his arm. "Are you ready to go and find out about your daughter?"

"Wow," Andy said, exhaling as he moved his hand to his hair and ran it thought it. "My daughter-I guess it's time. I can't believe we both got some rest."

"I suppose we feel safe and secure," she said quietly.

"Thanks, whatever it was," Andy said and quickly leaned to her and kissed her again. Neither said anything, and he moved back as quickly as he'd moved toward her. The two had been in his room since they'd returned to their bed and breakfast. They'd spent time talking before they both started drifting off to sleep. If asked, neither was sure who fell asleep first, but now it was time to get back to their search. Andy rolled over and sat up, looking at the wall. Sharon watched and did the same without a word. The moment was over. She cleared her throat as she stood, causing Andy to turn toward her as he stood.

"I'm going to stop back in my room and freshen up," she told him.

He nodded as he buttoned the sleeve button on his shirt. He gestured to the door, "Just leave my door open, and when you're ready, stop back by the room."

"Just give me a few minutes," she told him. "House is quiet. I wonder if Marge is still out."

Andy shrugged, "Whatever the reason for the silence, I'm glad. I feel much better after getting some rest."

It took Sharon 10 minutes, but she was then ready to go. Both were hungry, Andy mentioning so as they descended the stairs. That was also a change; he hadn't been eating much. Sharon mentioned that they could eat on the way back to the bar.

"Let's just go to the bar," he told her. "I'm sure we can eat there. I mean, this is a small town, and they have food. We might be able to eat and ask around about Michelle and Sarah while we do so."

Sharon nodded in agreement, "Sounds good. I feel like we are going to finally get some information, Andy," she said, squeezing his shoulder. He was ahead of her on the stairs. He reached the bottom, but before he stepped off, he turned back. It startled Sharon, but she paused. Andy put his hand on hers, and he squeezed it while he locked eyes with her. "Just promise me you won't hate me, whatever we find."

Sharon gave him a quizzical look and shook her head, "After everything you and I have been through over the years, you know me better than that. I'm not going to change my opinion of you." She gave him a sympathetic smile, and with that, she put her hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him sweetly. It was a little awkward there on the stairs, but his hand found her waist, and he pulled her toward him. With Sharon on the steps above him, she was leaning down over him, and they kissed briefly, Andy finally resting his head on her chest as he spoke again.

"I am worried I'll hate myself after tonight," he said quietly. "I couldn't take it if I disappointed you."

Sharon put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him back slightly to get a look at him, "Let's go and find her, find them," she corrected. "We've come all this way."

The two were silent again as they bundled up before going outside. Without seeing Marge, they finished dressing and walked back out to the car where Sharon gestured for the car keys. Andy dug them out of his pocket and turned over to her without hesitation. Quickly, the two got into the car and turned it on to warm it up. Again, they were quiet while this all happened, almost as if their minds had to prepare for the task ahead. Finally, Sharon turned to Andy, the car finally warm, "Ready?"

"Here we go again," he said with a firm nod, and Sharon put the car in gear and started out to the road.

Once again, it didn't take long to drive to the bar, but this time, as they pulled in, they found the parking area over half full. Sharon navigated the car to an area still covered in snow, but one that had tire tracks and the traction for her to park.

"Here we are, Sharon said letting out her breath. "Let's just go inside and get a table, shall we? We can take one step at a time," she said reaching for his hand. Andy just sat there, staring at the building. He finally snapped out of his haze and nodded, still not aware his hand was in hers. "Andy?" Sharon asked, trying to get his attention.

"Let's go and just eat," Andy said, opening his door. Sharon did the same, and she moved quickly around the car, her boots crunching in the snow. She clasped Andy's hand in hers again, this time almost dragging him to the door. He wasn't resisting, just almost speechless. The pair walked up the couple stairs to the door, and Sharon opened it. It creaked as she did, and Sharon gave a quick glance around like she was on a crime scene clearing the place. It was larger than it had looked from outside, and three men were at the bar sitting. Several other tables were full, and Sharon looked to Andy, their hands still intertwined, and she pulled him to the booth closest to the back to sit. If they were going to go through with this, she wanted privacy.

Andy dropped down into the booth, and Sharon started to pull her coat off to side across from him. Andy, who glanced up and saw Sharon taking off her coat and gloves started to do the same. Sharon wasn't even done with her layers when a young guy walked over to the table and put two computer printouts on the table.

"Afternoon," he nodded to them. "Food menus if you want them. Haven't seen you around here before," he said and continued, "This time of year, we recognize most coming through here."

"Hi," Sharon said, giving him a small smile. "We're here on business."

"Welcome to Seward," he said with a nod. "Couple of beers?"

"Just water," Sharon offered.

"Sharon," Andy raised his hand and looked over to her. "It's fine," he encouraged her. "Please, get a glass of wine," he nodded and looked to the young man. "You have something like cranberry juice?"

"Ahh, I gotcha," the guy nodded to Andy. "I don't touch the stuff either. I know; I know," he rolled his eyes. "I work in a bar, and I don't drink. Used to drink, and that was the problem. Never again."

"Just a cranberry juice if you have it," Andy said, eyeing Sharon as he did. The guy got the hint and started toward the bar. Andy sighed and shook his head toward her, "Sorry."

"Why?" Sharon asked. "You didn't bring it up with him, and why are you sorry? You haven't had a drink in over 15 years. You should be proud of that."

"Still," Andy gestured around to the bar. "My excessive drinking and bad decisions, my desire for whatever I want whenever I wanted it brought us here."

"Let's look at the menu," Sharon said, changing topics. "I'm starving. You need to eat too."

"So, what now? We just sit here and eat?" Andy asked her as he looked around at the bar. "You think we'll get anywhere at all here today?"

"Maybe," Sharon shrugged. "Worth a try. We need to eat, and this is the last address you have for Michelle. Let's at least eat."

The two studied the menu for a few minutes, Andy paying more attention to the people in the bar. Sharon noticed this and tried to get his attention by calling his name quietly. Finally, she leaned toward him and put her hand on his.

"Did you say something?" Andy asked.

"A few things," she chuckled. "What are you going to eat?"

"I don't know," he waved his hand at the menu. "It's all a blur."

"Try the grilled fish, baked potato, and salad," Sharon suggested. Halibut is the main fish here. That's what I'm getting."

"Sure," he nodded, and as he did, the younger gentleman returned with their drinks.

THe man looked from Sharon to Andy and asked "You two want anything to eat or just here for a drink?"

Sharon stepped in quickly with her answer, "We'd both like the grilled fish, baked potato and salad, vinaigrette dressing please."

"Perfect choice," he said with a small smile. "Bars around here don't just serve drinks. We're the ones, though, with the best grilled halibut in town. You two are in for a treat here on your business. You aren't from Alaska, are you?"

"No," Sharon said with a small smile. Clearly, they stood out, and their waiter was chatty. "California."

"Cool, never been, but I hear it's beautiful. Welcome to Alaska," he gestured. "I'll put your food order in, but let me know if you want more to drink."

As he walked away, Sharon turned and saw Andy drumming his hands on the table. She put her hand over his, and she gave him a small smile.

"You're thinking about what you want to do," she told him.

"Aren't you? I'm going to chat it up with this guy. If he wants to talk, I do too." Andy waved at the guy, and he walked back to the table. The place wasn't busy, so the guy came right over. Sharon took a deep breath and threw him a smile as the guy approached.

"Say," Andy said casually as he sat forward in his seat, "you from here I mean, like know people?"

"Yeah, I was born and raised here. I work in the bar during the winter or have been the last couple months, but I am a kayak guide in the summer. You ever been kayaking?"

"No," Andy said, a tight smile on his lips. "I've heard it is enjoyable. As the lady said," he nodded to Sharon, "we're here for work. We're trying to find someone while we are here," Andy said, trying to act casual. "Old friend," he added, looking to Sharon. "Last I knew she lived up here, but I've lost contact. Michelle-know that name? I think her daughter is Sarah."

The young man looked to him with an odd expression, "Michelle Smith?"

"You know her?" Andy's eyes widened, and he looked to Sharon. Her eyes looked much like Andy's. Both turned back to the young man.

"I do, or I did," he nodded. "She was shacked up with my old man for years. Tell you what-if I never see her again it will be too soon. She did a number on him, took off with all his cash a couple months ago now, just at the holidays. Left town, and it took a couple days, but we figured out she left with some other guy. Sorry, she's no friend of mine. Why you looking for her? She do the same to you?"

"Ahh, no, not exactly, a little more complicated," Andy frowned and looked over to Sharon. She pursed her lips and looked back at him. "What about Sarah? You know her?"

"You better believe it," he said and crossed his arms. "I'm not saying anything more until you tell me-what business do you have with my wife?"


	39. Chapter 39

"She has no interest in meeting me," Andy sighed and put his head in his hands. He groaned too, and Sharon put her hand on his back. "I knew this could be a possibility."

"True," Sharon nodded, glancing around the bar. She'd moved to his side of the booth when Cody had come back over to talk to them. Stumbling upon him and information about both Michelle and Sarah had been a stroke of luck. Sharon made eye contact with a few people as she looked around the bar, but then, her gaze turned back to Andy. Her hand continued to run up and down his back as he reassured him.

"I didn't see it coming, you know, that she knew who I was and had no interest in me," he said quietly, putting his head up as he sat back. Sharon moved her arm to her lap and shifted to turn slightly toward him where she could look at him as they talked.

"I know," she pursed her lips and nodded. "I agree. In all scenarios, I didn't see Michelle taking off, really behaving the same way her entire life, and then for Sarah to know all about you."

Andy sat back and sighed. Cody was working right now, which was fine after he'd sat down with them for a few minutes and dropped several bombshell statements on them. Andy ran his hand over his face and sat there, going over the conversation in his head over once again.

"Look, we aren't looking for trouble," Andy said raising his hand in defense after Cody had asked them what business they had with his wife. "You are married to Sarah?"

"I am," he nodded. "Thankfully, she divorced that creep," he said with a sharp tone.

"She's been married before?" Andy asked raising his eyebrow. "What, she's 20, right?"

"Hey," he snapped at them, eyeing them both. He looked between them, "I'll ask again-what business do you have with her? Wait a minute," he nodded to himself and gestured at Andy, "you a cop from California?"

Andy's eyes widened, and he looked over the table to Sharon, who mirrored his expression. She just briefly shook her head at him. Andy turned his attention back to the young man, now that he'd come to know as Cody. He narrowed his gaze, "Why are you asking if I'm a cop from California?"

"Why are you asking about my wife?" Cody crossed his arms and looked at him again. "I believe I've already asked that and am due an explanation."

Sharon put her hands over Andy's hand, where he still had them held in front of himself. It was almost as if he didn't realize it. She tried to make eye contact with him, but he was glaring up at Cody and wouldn't look at her. She cleared her throat, "Okay, okay everyone. Let's just calm down and take a deep breath. The two of you look like you are ready to go out back."

"If necessary," Cody said crossing his arms. "I'm not going to ask again."

Sharon cleared her throat again getting Cody's attention, "Let's try this again because I think we can get to the bottom of this quickly. To start, my name is Sharon," she pointed to herself, "and this is Andy. Could you please tell us your name?"

"Cody," he said nodding. "I'd like to know why you are here asking about my wife."

"Of course," Sharon said trying to give him a small smile. She finally caught Andy's eye and gave him a reassuring nod before looking back at Cody. "Cody, it's nice to meet you. My friend, Andy, here," she gestured to Andy again, "and I are looking for Sarah."

"Andy," he said narrowing his gaze and looking to Andy. He nodded again, almost confirming a thought, "Andrew, I presume, and I'm guessing you're a retired cop from California."

"You know-" Andy started to get agitated as he spoke, and Sharon put her hand on his there on top of the table to let her continue. She looked at Cody again.

"I'll be more specific," she said now in a businesslike tone. "I'm Captain Sharon Raydor, and this is Lieutenant Andy Flynn. We are both from the Major Crimes Division of the LAPD. You seem to know more about us, at least Andy here," she nodded, "than we do about you."

"You're here for Sarah," he said looking at Andy. "Scumbag of a father, and you show up over 20 years later. That about right? Michelle didn't tell Sarah much about her dad, just that her name was Andrew, and he was an LAPD cop. Two looked you up a few years ago when Sarah wanted to put a name to a face. She told me all that. I don't know much more. I was honestly surprised Michelle knew Sarah's dad, but she said that she was sure it was this cop, Andrew, because you were the only guy she was with during that time. Times have changed."

Andy looked to him, now his face pale. Sharon could see he was shocked; she was too, but again, she could tell he didn't know what to do or say. She finally nudged his hand to snap him out of his daze. He briefly shook his head at Cody, "Look, I'm not sure what all you've been told."

"Seems I've got the facts, at least the name right and the job. You know, Sarah had a crappy childhood. She basically raised her mother, who is worthless. It's amazing Sarah is doing as well as she is. We're both sober now, and I'm glad her mom took off again. If all of that wasn't enough, she has never had a father figure in her life, but she knew enough to know you had to be trash to know she existed and never do anything about it."

"Wait, wait," Andy raised his hands again in defense. "This is all a shock, to me, and I'm sure to you. I wasn't sure who I'd find or what we would find. Michelle took off as soon as she told me she was pregnant, and we weren't some couple. I'd like to explain, please," he nodded to the table. "Could you maybe have a seat, and we can talk, even for a few minutes?"

Before he could answer, Sharon stood to offer up her seat. She gestured to it, and she moved around behind Cody to sit next to Andy. He moved slightly so she could sit, and with both seated, Cody looked at them and finally nodded. He slid into the booth and looked to the bar, nodding at the other guy behind the counter.

"Thank you," Sharon said with a small smile. She sat forward, but she put her one hand on Andy's leg under the table to reassure him. Almost instantly, she could tell he started to calm down. He moved his hand and laced his fingers in hers, the gesture calming both of them. She squeezed Andy's hand to encourage him. Andy looked over at Cody.

"Look, it sounds like you both have had a rough go of it. Honestly, I get it, and I've been there too. Yes, I'm looking for Sarah. I have been looking for awhile and found a last address here for Michelle. You have to understand that I didn't even have a last name, so my search has taken some time. Granted," he raised his hands in defense, "not 20 years. I'm ashamed of that, ashamed that I waited this long, almost tried to pretend she didn't exist. There's no excuse. All I can say and explain to you is that I was in a bad place then too. Sounds like you know something about that. I'm an alcoholic too, sober over 17 years. You can see that even with Sarah's age, I was drinking then and continued to drink. It took me a long time to get my head on straight. I started to get sober, slipped a couple times, and finally, it stuck. Back then, when," he gestured with his hand, "you know, Sarah was-when I was with Michelle," he said, slightly embarrassed as he sighed, "I'd just gotten divorced. My wife had dumped me, sent me packing, and I didn't have a relationship with my kids. It's been a long road back, and yeah," he nodded, "I should have started looking sooner. Recently, I've been rebuilding things with my kids. I mean, I've always been around and tried to provide for them-my other two kids, but we've had strained relationships. Through all that, through the counseling and all, I couldn't keep my past, Sarah included, a secret anymore. That's why I'm here. My friend here," he looked to Sharon, "she's my boss too, but she's the best person I know. She's made me want to be a better person, and I'm finally admitting everything that I did in my past. So, yeah, I am Sarah's father, but it sounds like she and you too, for that matter, knew that. I'm not here asking for anything, other than for me to explain and offer anything she needs."

Cody looked between Andy and Sharon, trying to determine if the information was true. He looked back at Andy, and he just sighed, looking to the table. He nodded and moved to stand. As he did, he said, "I need to check on your food and check on a few customers. I'll be back."

Now, as Andy and Sharon sat there, they were trying to mentally grasp the last several minutes. Sharon leaned toward Andy and nudged his shoulder, "Tell me what you are thinking, please."

"I'm thinking that I didn't see this coming," he gestured. "I wonder how much she knows. I mean, it seems like she knows a lot."

"True," Sharon nodded and pursed her lips. "You put it out there for him. Sarah has to be around here," Sharon said looking around the place.

"She thinks-and rightfully so-that I'm a creep. Sharon, what have I done? My kid-she's my kid, and it sounds like she had such a crappy childhood. She's been married twice and is an alcoholic?" Andy groaned and closed his eyes. "I'm not sure what I expected, but this is pretty bad."

"Here's your food," Cody reappeared with their fish. "Look, you can eat, but after that, I think it's best you go. I don't need problems here." He sat back down across from them, which was a welcome relief; he didn't turn his back on them. Sharon and Andy both accepted the food, but neither started to eat. Andy gestured to Cody again.

"Look, thanks for talking to us again. I was just telling Sharon it sounds like Sarah, you too," he nodded, "have had a rough go of it. Is she here?"

"She's not," he frowned. "I think that's for the best you not see her. She's on a fishing boat. She works on one, cooks for them. She won't be back for maybe three weeks, could be even longer. She goes out on these often."

Andy raised an eyebrow, "She cooks for a fishing boat? Wow."

Cody shrugged, "She fishes too, but her main job is cooking. Look, I can't promise anything, actually," he sighed, "I can promise she might not want anything to do with you."

"Fair enough," Andy raised his hands in agreement. "Sharon and I came up here to hopefully find her, apologize, tell her that I've been a dirt bag but would like to change. I don't expect anything, but I'd like whatever, to meet her at least."

"Like I said, she's gone another three weeks or so," he said with a shrug.

"Can you tell me anything about her? How long have you been married? You're both alcoholics?" Andy asked. "I'm asking because I am too, as I said, and I get it."

"She married this jerk from high school the day she turned 18," he rolled his eyes. "Guy is such a pain, typical jock. Here, we play hockey. He was all about that. She was drinking heavily then, had been since she was 14, and he was into that when he wasn't playing hockey. We all were, really. I mean, what do you expect? Her mom didn't care and worked here. Sarah had easy access to alcohol. Michelle was never into drinking, just serving it, but as you know, she had other interests. I think she slept with just about any guy who walked through the doors here and was willing. She's flighty, always has been, Michelle that is. She would take off with a couple truckers for weeks at a time, leaving Sarah here with a friend. I've known Sarah for years, but I got to know her better the last few years when her mom started shacking up with my dad. Michelle said she would change for my old man, but of course, that was a lie. She dumped him and took off. My dad bought this bar a few years ago, which is why I'm here, Michelle worked here, all of it."

"So, how did you end up married to Sarah?" Andy asked.

Cody gave a half shrug, "We both got sober. Yeah, I know you aren't supposed to hook up with anyone while getting sober, but we did. She stayed married to the hockey jerk until he cheated on her-saw that coming, and it didn't take long. She might have taken him back, but he got that girl pregnant and told Sarah he was divorcing her to move in with this other girl. I mean, he- " Cody stopped talking, his face flushed slightly, and then, he just shook his head. "It doesn't matter. He took off with that girl, and I hope he never comes back to Alaska. Sarah kept drinking, and it got really bad. I was already working on getting sober. Finally, she was told she would lose her job if she didn't stop, all because it was affecting her work. She's a good cook and enjoys it, taught herself when Michelle wouldn't do anything for Sarah. Sarah learned a lot about cooking here too at the bar. That actually did it for her, the fact she'd lose her job, that and a couple other things, and she wasn't even 19 yet. I think it just all hit at once. We got married three months ago now, but she's been gone with her fishing crew a lot. Married the day after her divorce was finalized. Just meant to be."

Sharon gave him a small smile, "Sounds like you love her and want the best for her. How old are you?"

"27," he said quickly. "I've been sober longer than she has been. Crazy she's almost 21, but is already an alcoholic. We're working it together. Look, I don't have to explain my life or hers to either of you. You didn't care enough to even acknowledge her," he pointed to Andy. "Let me tell you that if I got a girl pregnant, I'd do the right thing. Can't say the same for you."

"You're right," Andy said, nodding at him. "It's something I can't change, can't undo, and I'll never forgive myself for being complacent.

"Look," Cody said, standing again. "I've got work to do. I'd like you to go when you finish. No reason for you to hang around here because as I said, Sarah won't be back for weeks."

"Listen," Andy said as Cody started to walk away. Cody turned, and Andy continued, "Thank you. I'll be in touch. We're in town a couple days."


	40. Chapter 40

"Knock, knock," Sharon said, leaning against Andy's bedroom door. He was sitting on the side of the bed, staring into the darkness. The way the room was situated, Andy was looking out the dark window and unaware of Sharon at the door. He turned to her, and even though the rest of his room was dark, the hallway light was on, and Sharon gave him a small smile. "I just wanted to check on you, see if you needed anything. I'm going to read in my room."

"Thanks," he said with a small smile back at her as he leaned over to turn on his bedside lamp. "I'll be fine. I'm just here thinking. How was your bath?"

"Relaxing," Sharon said with a long sigh. "I didn't realize just how stressed and tense I was. I mean," she gestured, "this trip has been stressful all around, much more for you, but that helped relax me. I lost track of time. I can't believe I was in there an hour. I hope you didn't need to use the bathroom."

"Fine," he waved his arm at her. "Honestly, I haven't moved. I've been just sitting here thinking about the mess I created, literally," he sighed. "I'm very disappointed in myself. My selfishness, my lack of planning or responsibility caused so much of this."

"Andy," Sharon sighed. The two had been talking on and off since they'd left the bar. Andy was stuck on this thought, that everything was his problem. He'd even started ranting about how even the alcoholism was his fault because he was one too. Sharon had tried to console him, and finally, she'd left him alone in his room. Now that she was back, she was slightly disturbed to find him in the exact same spot. He stood, though now and turned toward her.

"Sharon, I just need some time. I don't want to upset you, and I am okay alone right now," he said. He shrugged slightly and looked to her. He opened his mouth, paused, and he finally spoke, "I'm glad you were here with me. I just want some time. I don't know what I expected when I came here, but I'm just processing right now."

"Understood," she said quietly. She looked at him, their eyes meeting, "I'll be in my room reading if you need anything. I know it's early, but I'm hoping to get a good night of sleep. I'm exhausted, but if you need anything or want to talk-" she stopped talking and let it hang.

"Thanks," he said. Sharon threw him a small wave, and then, she turned and walked across the hallway to her room. She let out a long sigh as she stepped into her room and closed the door. It was still cold upstairs, but the bath helped her quite a bit. She had on her favorite pair of long sleeve silk pajamas, and yet, she was kicking herself for not packing warmer clothing. As she got into her bed, she pulled up the piles of blankets she'd collected. It took her a few minutes to get comfortable, and when she finally did, she looked at the time. It was 8:30 now, still early, and she wanted to call Rusty.

A half hour later, after Sharon had spoken to Rusty, texted with Ricky and Emily, she got up to use the bathroom again. She was restless, and she knew if she was, Andy probably was as well. It didn't surprise her to find him still sitting in his room, the door open, but at least this time, he had the light on and was sitting in a small arm chair by the window. She finished in the bathroom and then moved to stand against his doorframe again. She cleared her throat.

"You won't be able to solve the world's problems staring there all night," she said sweetly with a sympathetic smile on her face. Andy turned toward her, and then he shrugged at her. Sharon continued to stand there.

"Just thinking about this mess. I can't help but feel her life, all of this," he threw up his hands, "is just a nightmare. She can't have a good outcome with this mess. She's had no guidance, nothing, and it sounds like she's barely had any parental supervision her entire life. She's not even 21, divorced, remarried, and an alcoholic. What good can come of any of that?"

Sharon nodded and pursed her lips, "All hope is not lost, Andy; it never is, at least I'd like to think."

He grunted and nodded to her, "Says the woman who stayed married a really, really long time."

Sharon met his gaze, and she couldn't help but nod in agreement, "True. I suppose at some point, people give up. With those outside of our control, like a spouse or ex-spouse," she rolled her eyes, "it's hard to admit I can't change that. I can't. I can't even change my adult children, but I suppose when I was suggesting you never give up, it's more applicable to children. No matter what, I will never give up on my kids, and I think you are the same way."

Andy continued to look at her. He didn't say anything more, but finally, he gave her a slight nod. He sighed again, "I won't even get to meet her."

Sharon nodded, but then, she shrugged, "Not on this trip, yes. However, you've found her, and you've found her husband. You can talk to him again, and maybe you will be able to make progress in the future."

"I was prepared to find nothing, or I guess not find her. I was prepared to find someone who hated me. I wasn't prepared to find someone whose life is such a mess."

"Messes can change," Sharon offered. "Take Rusty-look how far he's come."

Andy looked at her differently after she said that, almost as if he was just realizing that she was right. He just looked at her, and Sharon stood there, leaning against the doorframe. The two were silent several seconds as their thoughts wandered. He almost surprised her when he finally moved and motioned with his hand for her to move closer. He gestured for her to walk toward him and patted the chair for her to join him. Sharon hesitated only a split second, but then, she walked across the room. Andy extended his hand to her, and when she was close to him, she clasped her hand in his. He guided her then to sit on the arm of the chair, and she did. Sharon looked at their hands, still joined.

"I'd ask when did you get so wise, but you've always been wise," he said quietly, looking to the floor. Sharon chuckled quietly. Andy finally pulled his hand from hers, but then, he wrapped it back around her waist. He sighed again, and Sharon leaned in toward him when he rested his arm on her hip. He tugged slightly, and she shifted toward him. She shifted so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, and the two sat like that quietly for several moments. Before long, Andy tilted his head, and Sharon sat up. Nothing was said, at least with words. Their eyes seemed to do the talking, and without spoken words, the two met for a kiss. Andy gripped her hip with his hand, and Sharon put her hand to his face.

"I've messed up,"Andy said when they broke for air. Their heads were leaning against each other, and Sharon still had her hand on his face, running her fingers up and down his cheek.

"I think we both need this," Sharon said quietly. "We always seem to need this when we are together."

"No," he said with a gruff huff, "I didn't say that correctly. I mean, I've messed up my whole life, at least most of my adult life. I'm tired of doing that; I'm tired of running, of messing up anything-or in this case—anyone. I'm tired of messing up, Sharon."

Finally, this time, Sharon paused. She pulled back slightly to study his face, her hand dropping off his face. She narrowed her gaze, trying to read him. He found her hand and squeezed her fingers, while she shook her head and narrowed her gaze. She finally spoke, "Okay," she said slowly. "Andy, so what are you trying to say?"

"I've messed up with you; we've messed up, and I'm not going to keep doing that. Stay," he said firmly, his eyes searching hers. "Stay in here with me tonight. It's been too long."


	41. Chapter 41

Her eyes were having trouble adjusting, even though it was dark in the room. In fact, that was part of the problem. It was dark, extremely dark, and she couldn't make out anything in the unfamiliar room. It didn't help that her glasses were somewhere, where specifically, she wasn't sure. They'd come off at one point, maybe over by the window near that chair where things had started to heat up in the cold room. Now, the darkness felt blinding, and she might have felt alone had she not heard Andy snoring nor felt his hand resting on her hip. She was on her side, trying to decide what to do. She had no clue what time it was now. The alarm clock was blinking; it appeared to have lost power at some point. Her phone was over in her room, and she realized that's where she needed to be too. It seemed like they just kept getting caught up in this cycle of repeating their mistakes and jumping into bed together.

As soon as she slightly shifted, she felt Andy's hand lightly squeeze her side. Somehow, even in his sleep, he knew she was there. She briefly thought about getting up, about running to the seclusion of her room, but instead, she turned over, facing him, now on her other side. The movement caused him to stir, and his hand moved around, feeling around for her.

"I thought after that amazing time and then our talk, we agreed neither of us was running," he grumbled, still in a sleepy tone, but Sharon raised her eyebrows at his clarity, even in his sleep. She froze, deciding what to say next. He moved his hand to her arm, and while she couldn't see him because of the darkness, she could tell he was awake and alert now.

"I was just going to-" she said quietly, stopping when she realized she had no answer. She let out her breath, which was quite loud in the room, and she moved her hand toward him, resting it on his chest when she found it. "You're right. I'm not going to run off on you. I'd like to know how you were that alert to know what was going on just now."

"I know you," he said sleepily, tugging her toward him. "I know what we're like together, what you do when you realize you're in too deep."

"I meant what I said earlier," she said, scooting closer to him even though she was almost ready to argue with him now. "This doesn't change things, the two of us here sleeping together now."

"Uh huh," he grumbled again, his lips finding hers. The two spent the next several minutes lazily kissing as Andy shifted more toward her. Sharon was very involved, and when Andy finally pulled back to sit back slightly, she found her lips looking for his. "Exactly," he said to her. "You want me just as I want you, case in point. You're invested in this. Earlier tonight, we discussed sleeping together again, but you and I both know this is more than that, Sharon, whether you want to admit it. I don't want you sleeping with anyone else, just as much as you don't want that for me."

Sharon wasn't sure what to say, but when Andy rolled toward her again, she lifted her hand to his face and pulled him toward her, her lips meeting his again. Words didn't seem to be needed now, and they didn't use any words for several more minutes. As things began to heat up again, there in the dark, cold room, Andy pulled back again and rolled onto his back.

"Let's just focus on things here, your daughter, for now, Andy," Sharon finally said as she sighed. "We can discuss things between us more when we get home."

"Let's not," he said back to her. "We're here, in bed together, and I've gotta tell you Sharon that discussing anything but the two of us doing more of what we were doing a couple hours ago is ahh, what does Rusty say?-It's a buzz kill. I'd like to discuss you, me, you sleeping with me, me sleeping with you, doing all kinds of things in the dead of night-that is what I want to discuss."

"I agreed we were starting this back up again," Sharon pointed out to him.

"I suggested we not only sleep with each other, but see each other-that's what you agreed to do. So, the phrase, 'See each other' there, that means, we're not just jumping into bed," Andy stated.

Sharon decided she didn't want to talk; she had other ideas now, and even though she had agreed to exactly what Andy had just stated, she didn't want to put it into words right now. Instead, she rolled toward him, her lips meeting his, and the two continued to kiss, Sharon eventually pulling herself even closer to him, rolling onto him. Throughout the quiet room, the only sound that could be heard was their lips meeting as they found a way to communicate their desires without talking.

Early the next morning, Sharon sat up quickly when she heard the door open. She didn't have time to look over to Andy, but her frenzied look changed to relief when Andy walked through the door. It was then she realized he'd slipped out of bed, and from what she could tell with him before her now only clad in a towel, he'd taken a shower.

"I was told we weren't running out of here," she said tilting her head. Andy flashed a smile, a real smile and his first in a very long time, after she said that. He walked slowly across the room to her, his eyes locked on her and shrugged.

"I said YOU weren't running from the room," he pointed out, now standing over her, still damp from the shower. The water was still dripping from his head. "It appears you listened, finally," he rolled his eyes. "This," he gestured at her, "is a sight I need to see more often, a beautiful woman-not just any beautiful woman, but you, Sharon, in my bed. I'm not running when it's my room. I took a shower to wake up myself. You wore me out last night."

Sharon pursed her lips and nodded at him, still feeling a bit awkward with everything that had happened. They had talked, but they hadn't talked. They'd agreed to start sleeping together again-this time with no thoughts of anyone else-but they hadn't agreed to more in specific terms. 'Seeing each other' was vague enough to Sharon, but it meant the world to Andy. Truth be told, both knew what the phrase really meant and defined for them, even if discussing the specifics was not a discussion for the present time. Andy was the one who had mentioned more, the whole 'seeing each other' comment, and she hadn't denied it; the two were together even if it wasn't being verbalized. They'd been together, really, much longer, just kidding themselves it wasn't more. Mistakes had been made, and more still could and would be made, but right now, here, with all the sadness, all the pain, they were trying to find some joy.

Sharon nodded to his towel as he stood there before her, "That's a good look, but it definitely won't do here in Alaska. Perhaps we should figure out a solution," she said as she pulled him closer and flipped back the bedding for him to join her, patting the spot beside her. "Seems you won last night, getting me to agree to join you in bed, and right now, this is just me getting what I want. Bed, now," she said with a firm tone but warm smile. "We have a lot of lost time, and I'm at least getting this day off to a good start."

Andy raised an eyebrow at her as he tried to hold back a smirk. He climbed up on the bed as Sharon's eyes searched his, and the two started to kiss again, quickly getting lost in each other. Sharon moved her hand, reaching for the blankets, and soon, the two were completely hidden under a pile of bedding, lost in each other again.

Time slipped by quickly, and a knock at the door had them moving quickly to cover up. Even with all the bedding, the two had quickly discarded bedding and clothing. They scurried to get situated. Andy gave Sharon a look, and he finally called out, "Yes?"

"It's already 10:30. I really didn't want to bother you, but if you are interested in breakfast, I've still got coffee on. I'll be putting it up at 10:45. Tried across the hall, and I got no answer there," the two heard Marge say.

"Oh," Andy said, trying not to chuckle as Sharon kissed at his neck, "she sleeps with ear plugs. Ahh, I'll get her. Long day, long night. Not sure what time we got to bed. We're all off with our times, you know."

"Sorry to bother," she called to Andy and left. Andy's face flushed as he turned to Sharon who was grinning at him.

"Times are off?" Sharon chuckled. "Andy, if anything, we'd be up earlier, not later."

"I'll call her back," Andy gestured to the door. "I'll just let her bring us coffee, you here, me," he shrugged lightly kissing her lips sweetly. "I may not get out of bed all day."

"What time did you come back in from your shower?" Sharon said, now moving to sit up in bed, pulling the blankets with her. "I have no idea what time anything happened over the last few hours."

"I took a shower at 7:30," he told her. "You lured me back into bed before 8:00," he grinned, sitting up against the headboard next to her. He moved his arm to pull her to his side and kissed her head.

"Fine, I'll sleep in my room tonight," she huffed.

"Only if I get to sleep with you," he grumbled.

She gave a half-shrug, "I was thinking of finding someone back at that bar. I'm sure anyone would be willing."

Andy turned; his eyes locked on hers. While she had been teasing him, she could see the pain behind his eyes, "Never again, Sharon. Never, please. We're back to this," he said, running his hand up her arm, "and I can't imagine my life, my nights without you."

Sharon gave a small nod, and she cleared her throat, "Are you sure this isn't just your pain talking, just the sadness of all this?"

"Sharon," he frowned and looked down briefly, "my life has been total crap without you the last few months, and you know what I mean. We have this chemistry, this physical connection. It's not all physical; we both know that, but I feel like I'm somewhere else when I'm with you. I need you, Sharon. Last night, yes," he nodded, "I had pain and grief, and while you helped me through that, I can't just-" Andy paused. "I guess what I'm saying is I can only get through it with you. This connection, this intimacy, I know you feel it too. We don't have to get too deep now, but we made progress last night, and I'm not backing away. I'm not letting you just back away."

Sharon just looked at her folded hands and nodded. She finally spoke, "I can't help but feel I took advantage of you when you were in a deep hole."

"Trust me," Andy chuckled and looked over at her, making eye contact with her. "You can do what you did last night anytime. Listen, we aren't going to make any life altering decisions now, at least in our lives, but we still have work to do here."

Sharon nodded, still looking at her hands. The two were quiet for several moments, and she reached over and took his hand in hers, running her thumb on his. She didn't look at him, but she looked at their hands, "Last night when we finished, you mentioned wanting to go back to the bar today. Is that still what you want?"

"I do," he said quickly and with firmness. "You up for it, sleeping with a guy who messed up as badly as I did?"

"Andy," she sighed. "We've been over this. Everyone has a past. You're working on fixing the problems in yours, just as I am doing myself. Jack is gone. Rusty is working on his problems from his past. Everyone is doing just that." She locked eyes with him and moved her hand to cup his face, "The man I want in my bed is the man before me, the man who tries to redeem himself and be the best he can be every single day."

Andy leaned over and kissed her again, taking Sharon by surprise, even though she was looking at him. She started to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back and gave her a small smile.

"As much as I'd love to do more of this, we will have to table it until tonight. You have no idea how much I hate saying that. All I've wanted is you, Sharon, for some time, and I'm sorry I've yelled at you, been mad at you, and that I've argued with you. Something changed up here, and whatever it is, we finally seem to be on the same page."

Sharon squeezed their hands, and she shook her head at him, "I thought we were just a thing, a fling, really. Finding someone else showed me that wasn't what I wanted at all. I'm content, happy," she clarified. "In the midst of this mess here," she looked up and rolled her eyes, "I felt like everything was back in its place when we were together last night. It was finally what I'd been wanting. I'm sorry right now if I can't keep my hands off you," she chuckled.

He chuckled too and shrugged, "I am the whole package," he winked, teasing her.

She hummed and nodded, "Yes, and I'm finally seeing that."

"Now," he nudged her, "you'd better get a shower before Marge comes up here again."

Sharon let out a laugh, "She won't buy the earplug comment."

Andy shrugged, "Don't care. We paid her for the rooms. She can't complain. I'm only complaining I can't join you in that shower."

Sharon scrunched up her face, "What is it with you and showers? Even before when it was just-" she paused and tried to find her words and tried to decide if she wanted to stir up old things. She shook her head and changed the subject slightly, "I'll shower. You get coffee for both of us, and we can discuss how we'll tackle the day."

"I already know my plans for the evening," he said, gazing at the bed again. "Whatever happens here, Sharon, with things today, I'm glad you are here. I'm done looking back. Being with you last night, talking so much and well," he winked, "all the things we did between our talks, "I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm owning my mistakes, and I'm going to move forward, hopefully with you by my side."

The room was quiet again for several moments. Sharon finally crawled out of bed and stood while she stretched. Andy watched, and she walked to the door where she turned back to him before she walked into the hallway. "I don't know what will happen today. I can't even promise what will happen between us, here and back in Los Angeles. I am by your side, at work, and we're going to explore that idea in our personal lives, so I'm told," she said slightly rolling her eyes while she held back a smile. "Whatever happens with your daughter here, Andy, know that I'm behind you 100%. I always have been, even when we were fighting."

"I hate fighting with you," he admitted, giving her a slight frown.

"Me too, but deep down, I think we were pulled to each other, just like last night," she said with a small smile.

Andy gestured at her, "Sharon, you were thinking of me, of sleeping with me, even back before this trip started."

Sharon's face flushed as she shook her head and tried to deny it. Andy grinned at her and got up off the bed. He walked to her as she crossed her arms, wanting to argue with him, but having no words to do so. He put his hands on her shoulders, a teasing grin on his face. He leaned in toward her ear, looking like he was going to kiss her.

"Come on, Sharon," he said seductively into her ear, his lips tickling her ear as he teased her. "It's the middle of Alaska. You've been cold since we left L.A., yet, you are standing here, in my bedroom, in this very, very, very," he repeated again while he kissed her neck, "sexy nightgown set. One would wear this in the middle of the summer heat, but up here, I'd expect you in flannel pajamas or something. No, deep down, maybe in your subconscious even, you were thinking about you-me, together. You packed this," he said, fingering the thin strap on her shoulder, "and had it on last night. Granted, you had a robe over it, but still," he said, his finger still messing with the strap. "I noticed. I always notice. Just promise me you'll wear it or something similar tonight-just lose the robe. No matter what we learn today, I just need to know I will have you when we come back here tonight."

Sharon smiled at him and shrugged, "You've always been a good detective."


	42. Chapter 42

"You sure you're up for this, a walk on the beach here in the winter?" Andy asked as he looked over at Sharon. They had just parked in the small lot, surprisingly clear of snow, at least clear enough to park. They'd been to the bar again, and now, they just didn't want to return to the house. It was mid-afternoon, and with that, the sun was out, if that was really what they wanted to call it. It wasn't dark, but it wasn't exactly sunglass weather either. It was light enough to see everything around them, and they'd decided that even with the weather, a walk might do them some good. It was warmer today, warmer than it had been. The temperature was closer to 20 degrees, and it really surprised them how much the temperature had fluctuated in just the short time they'd been in Alaska. Marge had mentioned something to them about the coastal climate being much different than the interior of Alaska. They could see that from the weather reports on the local news too. While they had snow, apparently they had significantly less snow here than other parts of the state were reporting right now. Still, with it being mid-afternoon with some daylight, the two were here, ready to check out the narrow, rocky coast.

Sharon looked around; a couple of boats were nearby, fisherman trying their luck. She looked over at Andy and gave a half shrug, "We can always come back to the car if it's too cold. It's not windy, so yes, let's take a small walk."

Andy nodded, and the two stepped out of their rental vehicle. Andy had been driving, something he'd asked Sharon if he could do after they'd left the bar for the second-and last time-on this trip. Andy walked around the front of the car where Sharon was standing and putting on her gloves. The two had on boots and several layers of clothing. Besides the fishing boats, no one was in sight; the parking lot was empty. Sharon looked to Andy as he walked closer to her. She extended her hand, a simple gesture, but doing that seemed like so much more than a simple act. Andy was startled to see her extend her hand, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he put his hand in hers, and he gave her a small smile, one she returned. Sharon moved closer to his side, partly for warmth, but partly because the two had been almost inseparable since they'd stayed together in his room the night before. They turned toward the water and walked slowly.

The packed snow and gravel beneath it crunched on their boots. It wasn't a beach like they had in Southern California; there wasn't a beautiful, sandy beach as far as they could see. Instead, they saw snow and rocks sticking out of the snow, the mountains looming in the distance-a totally different kind of beauty. The water had some ice floating in it, but it was still moving well. The waves were small and barely lapped against the shore. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat.

"Are you content going home at this point?" Sharon asked quietly. She looked to her feet, watching their footprints in the light snow. Andy shifted, letting go of her hand, but only to wrap it around his arm, tucking it to his side, the two drawing on the warmth from each other.

He let out a long sigh and nodded. It was hard to see that; he'd dropped his head, but she glanced over after asking her question and saw the motion. He finally spoke, "I am, and while it sounds crazy, I did find a lot of clarity here ironically in several areas of my life."

Sharon hummed, but otherwise, she didn't speak. She wanted Andy to have this time.

"I'm glad we went back today, and I'm glad he spoke to us. All I can do now is go back home and hope that she might want to reach out, might want to talk. I'm glad he listened and was willing to take my information, at least to pass along to her. Now that I have a name and a location, I can do more. I just can't do more from right here right now. I look around here and try to imagine a life her, try to imagine living here, growing up here. I think about what my own kids have, correction," he sighed and shook his free finger in the air. "I think about what my other two kids have, the life they have known in Los Angeles. I wish I had been stronger back then. I wish I had done the right thing. I can't predict how life would be now, but it might be different. From the sounds of it, she had no one, barely a mother and certainly not a father. I did that to her, and I should have done better."

Sharon nodded, still listening. When Andy stopped talking and the two kept walking, Sharon finally spoke, "We can waste time thinking over the 'what if's' in life all day long. It will consume us, but all we can do is look forward. I catch myself thinking about what my life could have been like if I'd divorced Jack a long time ago. My kids could have had a different life too; I could have had a different life. Who knows-I might have met someone else," she said looking up at Andy.

She stopped talking too, and he spoke soon after that, "You deserve to be happy, Sharon, and as much as you like family and taking care of others, I can't help but think you would have met a wonderful man who would have made you much happier than Jack."

"I think I have," Sharon turned herself toward him, stopping her movement. She looked up, her eyes searching his, "You've been here a long time. I've tried to compartmentalize our relationship. We didn't like each other for a long time. We've worked together, as colleagues," she specified. We were friends. We were," she paused frowning as she tried to find her words, "more, but even then, I tried to kid myself that it wasn't more, it was just the two of us using our friendship. Why it took us all this time, in this place here, where it feels like we are on top of the world," she said with a small grin on her face as she nodded, "why it took all this time to figure out you're the person I want in my life, I don't know." Sharon shrugged and just looked at him, taking both of his hands in hers. The fog was starting to thicken, and the daylight was starting to fade. "I've been wrong about many things, how I have treated you is one of them. I've played games, and I've hid my feelings. I could go over my actions with you, with Jack-with just men in general, over and over. I'm choosing to just look forward. I don't know what the future holds-any of it, but I'd like to walk by your side and figure it out."

Andy closed his eyes and let out his breath, as if he was letting go of a tremendous amount of stress. He eyed her, Sharon, as she stood there looking at him, "I've screwed up a lot of things in my life."

"I have too," she said with a small shrug. "You know what I've realized though is that talking to you, going through things with you is better than being alone. When I have a problem, I want to tell you. Our little arrangement before was so stressful. We were kidding ourselves, maybe you weren't, but I was. I hate fighting with you, arguing with you, and I don't want to do that."

"We may still argue-we WILL still argue," he told her.

"Maybe we can start figuring out how to deal with that, how to work through it," she said, looking at him. "We're both divorced-failed marriages. That means no matter what happened, we had issues with communication. I'd like to work on that, to work on communication in our relationship."

"My family life is a mess," he told her. "I don't know if any of my kids will ever be happy with me. In the future, things here could be sticky. Hopefully, she'll talk to me one day, and from there, we'll have to see."

"I know a thing or two about a crazy home life," she said with a nod and small smile. "I have a Rusty, and at times, I have two more adult children nosing around in my life."

"Fair enough," Andy said with a slight chuckle. "Are we going to be able to work together?"

Sharon's cheeks reddened, and she rolled her eyes slightly, "I think the team is ready to kill us. We haven't exactly been working well together. I honestly can't imagine it being worse. It can only get better, at least in my opinion. I want to work with you. It goes along with that you being by my side idea."

"I like being by your side too" he said, his eyes locked on hers as he nodded. "Just to be clear-I want more than friendship. Don't get me wrong-we have a lot of talking to do to repair our friendship. We have a lot to work through, but I want to do that together, and I want you in my life as more than just the friend by my side."

Sharon bit her lip and nodded, "I thought talking here," she nodded, "that was implied. Andy, I'm not going to run. I'm going to acknowledge we have a relationship and work on it together. Yes, that means talking about you with Rusty, about having you around more, and it means we keep walking forward together."

At that, Andy let go of one of her hands and continued to walk, tugging at her to walk with him. The two walked in silence, and then, he spoke again, "It still makes me sick I didn't step up 20 years ago. Sharon, from the sounds of it, her life is a mess."

"I know," Sharon admitted.

"I mean, she's been divorced and from what he said, rebounded into another marriage. She's barely an adult! Her future could get worse, and she could destroy it more. She's already an alcoholic. I just-" he shook his head. Sharon squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"You can be there for her now. I know the guilt must be overwhelming. You are a different man now. I know that; I see that. I'm a different person. The Andy and Sharon of 21 years ago didn't even like each other. The little I knew of you, I hated that you drank with my husband. It was like I saw you as a replacement for my family. I know you weren't fond of me."

Andy grunted, "The little I heard about you, you sounded like a terror of a wife. It wasn't much different at work. I figured you were someone I just was meant to dislike. I figured you were another nagging wife, and yeah, I didn't like you then."

"And now?" Sharon said in a slightly teasing tone as she looked loving up at Andy. He gave a slight roll of his eyes and turned toward her. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, pulling back to look into her eyes.

"Now, like everything else, I realize I was a complete idiot," he admitted. Sharon chuckled, and she gripped his hands in hers.

"I've been idiot enough myself," she told him. "We can't make our grown children do things. I think about my parents, about yours," she nodded her head toward him. "My parents wanted me rid of Jack decades ago, just as you've told me yours didn't want you drinking. People tried to warn us, to help, but grown adults have to decide for themselves, just in this situation. True, you can't change anything, but you can try. You can be supportive going forward."

Andy let out a long breath and nodded his head, "I'm try calling her after she gets back here, off that boat."

"I'll support you in whatever you need," Sharon admitted. The two continued to walk, bundled up in the cold weather. The fog was getting heavier, and they were close to the car, even though they could barely make it out in the fog.

"Back home?" Andy asked, looking over at her.

"Back home, we work on our relationship, at work and at home. I'd like it if you were around more," Sharon admitted.

Andy gave her a loving smile, "I'd like that too. Rusty-"

"Will deal with it, and just as I said, you can't make people do anything. There are things he doesn't need to know or see, things we can pick up maybe later when we head back to that bed and breakfast for one more night," Sharon said in a low tone, her eyes scanning his, "but, you and I, we're a team in many areas. We got off track, trying to convince ourselves we could compartmentalize our lives."

"Idiots we were, total idiots," Andy grumbled. Sharon laughed too, leaning up to kiss him.

"I'd say we're finally starting to figure things out," Sharon admitted. "Let's go find something to eat and then turn in early before we leave this place. We've done all we can do, and now, we go home."

Andy nodded in agreement, "You realize that for the first time I don't see everything as a complicated mess, right?"

Sharon laughed, "We did it to ourselves. Let's move forward, no complications and no mess."


End file.
